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I remember our first date. I was so nervous because I knew I shouldn’t go out with him. I knew that he was the perfect guy for me from the first time I had a conversation with him, but I was afraid to actually do something about it. It took a lot for me to even agree to go out with him, he says I was playing hard to get, but the truth was after seeing him only two times I was already on my way to being in love with him and I knew that spending time with him out of my work environment would push me over the edge. And I was afraid of that, I’ll admit it, I was young, I just finished college and my main focus was on work, getting enough money to pay off all my loans, and trying to just make it on my own. I knew that I didn’t have enough time to have a boyfriend, or to even date, and I was fine with that. Besides, I had been hurt in the past and wasn’t really ready to get my heart broken again. Especially with Justin’s job, I knew life could not be the same once I started dating him, and I knew that I would not just date him once or twice, I knew that this was the real thing from the second I laid eyes on him. I’ll admit the first time I saw him I felt like I was 12 again, like a little teenybopper, I for once, understood the reason all those girls were crazy about him. But because of that, I knew things would not be like any other normal relationship. I knew that life would be hard; he’d be away on tour a lot, he’d be surrounded by beautiful people all the time, he’d have millions of girls after him. Although I thought I knew what I was getting into, there was no way that I could even be close to the craziness that occurred. Although I will say that Justin was wonderful with me the whole time, he was honest with me from the beginning, explaining everything to me, and warning me about how hard it would be. It didn’t matter though; I was in love… we were in love. And it all happened so fast.
I was so different when I was around him. I had always been so professional, always went to work on time, never called out sick. But after that first date we were pretty much inseparable. Because Justin broke his foot, he had a month off, the first month we were together. It was great, but we were so spoiled because we spent every day together. I’d work and then go to his house, or I’d call out, which I did way too often, I’m surprised they didn’t fire me.
Once his foot was better he had to start touring again. It was horrible because from the first day we started dating we had spent every day together. But now, he was going to be away for 3 months… the whole summer. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to make it, I didn’t even remember what my life was like without him, at that point he was my life, we did everything together, what could I do without him there? I didn’t think we could make it, and we didn’t. We talked everyday on the phone for hours, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a week before Justin sent me tickets and I was on my way to some weird city in New Mexico, leaving behind my job, giving them no more than an hour notice that I would be gone for who knows how long, probably the whole summer… although I never came back.
I stepped off the plane and saw him standing by the terminal with a baseball cap on his head and a single red rose in his hand. I ran over to him and fell in his arms, “Oh god Stomp, I missed you so much”
“I missed you too,” he said with a smile and then chuckled slightly, “You do realize that we have not been apart for four days”
“I know” I laughed as he grabbed my backpack in one hand and my hand in the other, “That’s kinda pathetic”
“Nah, it’s cool” he smiled as he kissed my forehead
“Hi” I smiled as I saw his security guard, Lonnie walk in front of us, “Thanks a lot for coming to get me”
“Of course don’t worry about it, it’s good to see you again sweetie”
“You too, you know the real reason I’m here is you”
“Shh” he laughed slightly, “Justin’s right there, don’t say that in front of him he’s going to get mad”
“Oh you can take him” I smiled as Justin laughed sarcastically and wrapped his arm around me. That was like, as good as it gets, or at least that’s what I thought at that time. It did get better, much better, like our wedding day, the honeymoon, the day I found out I was pregnant with Hailey, the day she was born, the day Jacob was born... As we walked out of the airport I noticed people staring, which I was a little used to back in Florida, but it was never this big. When we got to the hotel though, that’s what was the craziest. I’d never experienced anything like that before in my life. It was weird… kinda scary, and there weren’t even that many people there, maybe like 20, I mean now, there’s like hundreds of them every time we go to a hotel, how they know I have no idea. Plus, now the kids know me too, so they actually care about me, which is weird, and honestly kind of annoying, especially when it’s late and I’ve been carrying my two children around all day, and they’re crabby and all any of us want to do is go to bed.
Ok, so back to the story. I remember stepping foot inside that hotel room for the first time and I couldn’t even move. I felt like it was a dream, like I was in a fairy tale or something, it couldn’t be real. Justin just laughed at me, but I didn’t even hear him, I was too infatuated with the room, “It’s just a room”
“Just a room? It’s bigger than my house growing up”
He looked around and then laughed, “Mine too”
“Are they all like this?” he nodded his head and I smiled, “Do you realize that I’ve never even seen one of your shows?”
“I’ve only had two” he smiled as he lay on the bed and I lay down next to him, “You’ll see it tomorrow”
“I can’t wait” I smiled, “How’s your foot”
“Fine, are you going to get fired?”
“I hope not,” I laughed, even though it’s not funny. Like honestly, I just walked out of my job, the job I have went to school for, worked hard to get, and I just walked out on it… I would never do that… but I did.
After awhile we were kissing, and even though it was six years ago I remember it like it was yesterday. He was laying on top of me, kissing me passionately, he moved to my neck, and then pulled away and looked right into my eyes, “You know I love you right?” And even though we had just met a couple months before and he had never actually said those words, I knew it... I knew it from the start, I knew he loved me by the things he did, not just the words he said. I nodded my head and he smiled, “Ok” he laughed slightly and then went back to kissing my neck
“And you know I love you too right?”
“Oh I know” he smiled
“Good” I laughed
As I sat on my private jet on my way back to some city in the Midwest I thought about how great that weekend was, I needed that. It’s really sad that I never get to see my family, I miss them so much. And I can’t even begin to explain how I felt when my own son didn’t recognize me, he was afraid of me… it felt like shit. That right there is the biggest sign that I need to be home more, or they need to come out. Kim hates bringing them out on tour because it’s so much work and I’m so busy and the crazy fans almost literally attack her and them. I understand, but I can’t just leave and cancel shows all the time, so sometimes it’s the only option.
We had a fun weekend, just hanging out around the house, doing the whole family thing; it’s been a while since we have. We went in the pool, played more Spiderman than any human should be allowed to in a 2 day span, went to the zoo, watched movies, it was great. I never really even realized how much I had missed spending time with the family until I was actually there doing it.
I have to do something to get some time off or something, I’m missing my children growing up. And, not to mention the problems Kimberly and I have been having. I don’t know what’s going on with that, things used to be so easy. Love used to be enough, but I don’t know, it seems like it isn’t anymore. Every time we talk on the phone it seems like we’re arguing, or talking about something else, it’s never us. We haven’t had alone time since Hailey was born, and I understand that once you have kids that alone time pretty much disappears but this is a little crazy. I guess it’s just the fact that we don’t spend too much time together in general.
There’s not too much I can do about that though. This is my job, it’s my life, I can’t just stop… and I wouldn’t want to even if I could. This is my life. I don’t know anything different. And I’ve been honest with Kimberly since the beginning, since our first date I told her what she’d be getting into if she went out with me, although I was pretty much begging her to look past it- and she did. Thank God.
I stepped off the jet to be greeted by Lonnie, “Have a nice weekend?”
“Yeah, great” I said as I handed him my bag and followed him to the limo
“You’re in some deep shit there son,” he said with a half smile covering his face
“Yeah, no shit” I said as I sat down in the limo, ignoring the damn fans that were out there waiting. It’s so damn annoying I can’t even get into a damn car without hearing their screaming,
As soon as I walked into the venue my cell phone rang, “Hey babe”
“Did you just get in?”
“Yeah”
“How is it?”
“Pretty nice, I guess… the usual”
“We miss you already, Jacob’s been looking for you all day”
I laughed slightly, that’s my boy, “I miss you guys too”
There were a few seconds of silence before she spoke again, “So Halloween is next week… you’re not going to be able to see them all dressed up”
I took a deep breath, “Why do you do this?”
“Do what?”
“This, bring up all this shit that I can’t help”
“You can help it”
“Fuck Kimberly if I could help it don’t you think I’d be home with my family?”
“I don’t know sometimes” she spoke softly… but I heard it loud and clear
“Don’t give me that shit Kimberly if I could be home I would be” I started to yell and once again her calm voice took over
“And you can’t… why?”
“Because I have this fucking job Kimberly. Welcome to reality where I have to work, I have to do this Kim, it’s not like I’m just doing it to get away”
“You don’t have to do anything”
“So you want me to just stop doing what I love to do?”
“Of course not” she paused, “I just think if that was me, I’d find a way to be with my family for more than a weekend a month”
“Why do you always play that card?”
“And what other card would you like me to play Justin? All I’m playing is the reality card”
“Some warped out reality card is what you’re playing. You fucking act like I haven’t warned you about my life from the start. I was completely honest with you from the beginning Kimberly, you knew exactly what you were getting into”
“OK there’s no need to yell” I hate that she has this calm soothing voice that just makes you feel like an ass because you’re the only one screaming, “And there is no way a warning could ever be sufficient enough for what I was getting into”
“And what the fuck does that mean?”
“Nothing… it just means that Halloween is next week and you’re not going to be able to see the kids all dressed up” she paused, “But I’ll send you pictures”
“Why don’t you come out here? Bring them up for the week?”
“And they’ll go trick or treating around the hotel?”
“We’ll take them out somewhere, we’ll find a neighborhood”
“We’re just going to take our children trick or treating in some neighborhood? That’s safe”
“What the fuck Kim? I will find a fucking safe neighborhood”
“It’s not fair for them to live in a hotel room”
“For a week Kimberly, a fucking week. They’ll have fun, it’ll be like they’re on vacation… please?”
“’Are you going to like spend time with us or is it going to be me and our two children wondering around a city we’ve never been to looking for something to do?”
“I will cancel all the interviews and shit I have for the week, we’ll have the days to do whatever, all I’ll do is the shows at night” I paused and so did she, she’s thinking about if it’s worth it. I know she hates living out of a suitcase but come on; I need to be able to see my children too.
“Fine, get the tickets” she said after a few more moments of silence.
“Alright, I will. I’ll call you later” I said as I walked towards the stage for sound check
“Bye, love you”
“Yeah you too, bye”
Story Tags: daddyj celebrityj cheaterj postsync proposal marriedj
