Author's Chapter Notes:
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The “vacation” or what I like to call hell week, actually started off pretty well. But of course it didn’t last that long, I don’t know why I’m surprised, it always happens this way… he always manages to disappoint me. The first few days were wonderful, Justin managed to get out of the interviews, and he even had a couple full days off that we spent around the different cities doing tourist things. But of course that didn’t last long. Before we knew it we were spending the whole day following him around in interviews and such. The kids were restless, bored out of their mind, trying to terrorize the poor radio stations and TV shows.
We spent the last few days with Lonnie; he took us around to go to all the tourist attractions so I wouldn’t be alone with the kids all day. It really is impossible to take 2 children around in a strange city by yourself.
Everything was so insane, it was a vacation from hell… the exact reason why I hate going on tour with him. The last few days we didn’t even spend together. Justin left before we even woke up, and we were sleeping before he even got back to the hotel, or if I weren’t sleeping I would be pretending I was, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.
I know it’s stupid, I’m acting like I’m still in high school, but we’ve had the same conversation so many times I don’t think another time will make the difference. I hate to be upset about it but the truth is that I just can’t stand it sometimes. I hate the way he just gets so involved in his “other” life, the life of sold out concerts and limo rides and late night parties and millions of people screaming his name, that he forget about his real life… the life as Justin… not Justin Timberlake. The life he has with a wife, a daughter, a son, a family… the life where he’s not a superstar but he’s just a normal person… a husband… a father… a lawnmower… a car washer… a handyman. Sometimes I wonder which life he really spends the most time in, well I know it seems like he spends the most time in the superstar life, but sometimes I wonder which life he would rather spend the most time in.
He really has changed a lot since the day I met him… so much. It never used to be about him… and now it seems like that’s all it ever is. Not to say it should never be about him, but the focus he puts on himself lately is just overwhelming. It’s like that song… you’re so vain. It’s like all he cares about is the way he looks, always checking himself in the mirror, and always mentioning how this person thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread and this person wants to do a song with him and this fan paid this much to get into a meet n greet and how this fan paid this much for his dirty sock on ebay. It’s all about him. It’s like he doesn’t even care about our relationship anymore, or his family. He hardly ever calls and when he does it seems like it’s just to brag about something. Half the time he doesn’t even ask about the kids.
Things just are not the way they always were. It makes me wonder how it could happen. Was it something I did wrong? How can someone hardly be able to keep their hands off each other one minute and then the next they don’t even call when they’re on the opposite side of the planet? I sometimes wonder if we maybe rushed into things. I mean we were together for a couple months before we pretty much moved in together. And it wasn’t even a few months later that we got married.
I remember we were sitting in the hotel in Vegas, eating pizza from the box, watching the Lakers game when he turned it off mid third period. Now that’s serious for any guy to turn off a Lakers game but especially Justin. It’s like his childhood dream to be on the Lakers, but since that’s not going to happen he watches every game religiously.
“Something wrong?” I asked and he shook his head, “Ok” I laughed as I grabbed another piece of pizza, “So why’d you turn off the game?”
He was silent for a couple seconds, like he was really thinking, “You know what I love about you?” he asked as he pulled me onto his lap, “I love that I can watch the game with you and you don’t try to steal the remote or make me watch some Sex and the City rerun. I love that you’re perfectly happy with spending the night in this hotel room, eating pizza from the box, drinking beer from the can, chips from the bag and this nasty ass dip from the Quick E Mart”
“Well I love that these little things amuse you”
“I’m serious Kimberly, it’s like you don’t even care about the fact that I have millions of dollars… all you care about is me… as a person not a singer”
“Wait hold up, you have millions of dollars?”
He laughed before kissing me gently, “And I love that crazy sense of humor, I love the way your voice stays so calm no matter what, the way you have that sarcastic tone in your voice, the way you cringe anytime I mention the word feet”
“Ew come on” I laughed, I know I cringed too
“I love you so damn much”
“I love you too”
“Marry me”
“What?”
“Be my wife”
“I think you’ve had one too many beers”
“Seriously Kimberly, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my life.
This is like the love you read about in books. We’re going to get married some day, you know we are. I knew the day I met you you were going to be my wife, so what the hell does it matter if we drag it out a couple years or just go down the street and do it now”
“That’s crazy”
“Sure it’s crazy, we’re crazy” he laughed and flashed that smile that I just can’t resist, “Kimberly let’s just do it. Let’s go get married”
“Alright let’s do it”
“Really?”
“You’re sure about this?” I asked him, I don’t even know why; there was no doubt in my mind about how positive I was, and I was sure he was the same way.
“Absolutely positive” he smiled as he grabbed my hand
An hour later we were married, 24 hours later there were pictures of us all over the news. It made the headlines, I swear to you it was even on CNN. Everyone making their guesses about why he would do something so stupid… saying I was pregnant, we were drunk… but no body even mentioned the real reason… love. All the media made guesses about how long it would take before we would get a divorce, they brought in so called experts for everything. People looking at everything we do, the way we hold hands says that we’re really in love, or the way he looks at me shows that he wants to protect me. It was all bullshit, but we did use that to our advantage to convince our parents that the marriage was not a result of a drunken night in Vegas.
But now, who knows anymore. It seems like those days of love are long gone. Two children later you would think the love would be even stronger but I find myself spending more time alone in bed than I do with him.
Story Tags: daddyj celebrityj cheaterj postsync proposal marriedj
