There’s a knock on the front glass of the store and I look up to see out of it, but I can’t because we have paper covering up the front windows for the new display tomorrow.  I trip over my feet a little and curse at myself as I step from the carpet to the hardwood floor walkway that leads to the front door of our store.  The mall closed about 30 minutes ago and I sent all my employees home. 

I’m really a fucking idiot.  Today proved that.  Here I was thinking I was being a gentleman and not pressuring her too much.  Here I thought I was giving her space, letting her spend time with her friend instead of being annoyed by a horny man who craved her more than air.

And today showed me that that was a mistake.  She’s been waiting for me, wanting me and I just sat down here waiting, stressing out about Thursday and Friday, giving her “space” when all she wanted was reassurance.

I just sat down here debating whether to approach her, how to approach her, wondering when I did approach her if I’d be able to keep my hands to myself and if the images of her half naked and grinding into me, eyes closed and head tilted back in a sigh would stay out of my mind.

I hope I give it to her tonight, the reassurance that is. And well, maybe something more.   I hope I can make her see that tonight is about her and me and nothing else.  This whole store thing is bull shit and I’m surprised she didn’t call me out on it.  I’m a piss poor liar and I was lying my face off this afternoon when I was begging her for her help.  I got pretty much everything I need done.  I just need to clean up a little bit and then head home.

I don’t even know what made me ask her to come over here tonight.  It just popped in my head and I figured if I seemed desperate for help she’d be more receptive to that than the asshole who stood her up for five days after asking her out for drinks.

And after she agreed to help I should have just been straight with her.  Maybe she knows, maybe she figured it out.  She’s a smart girl and when we finished our coffees and just sat there with each other not really talking, she was all smiles.  We got up a few minutes after we had sat down and walked back upstairs.  I wanted to hold her hand.  But I didn’t.

When we got to the store, Beverly squealed and ran to me and hugged me.  When I looked at Jess her face was red and embarrassed and I didn’t understand.  And too quickly, much, much too quickly, I was walking down to my store with a handful of balloons, thinking about how fucking perfect Jess looked wide eyed and smiling, how her apron with little pieces of Styrofoam randomly stuck to it looked across her breasts and tied around her waist.  How I wanted to be tied around her waist.

I want her legs tied around mine.

I suck in a breath and pull down a little on the bottom of my tank when I approach the front door.  I take a deep breath.  It’s…it’s not that I’m nervous.  I just, I guess in a way this afternoon showed that I have kind of fucked up with Jess and I gotta keep making her smile and keep making her eyes bright because I can’t stand to see her upset.  And just.

I can’t fuck this up.

We had….shit, Friday was amazing.  I never in my life thought she’d taste and smell and feel as good as she did and we didn’t even have sex.  I’ve never made out with a girl that intensely. Ever.  Her breasts….they were like out of my dreams or something. I know that’s a gay ass thing to say, but they were.  They weren’t huge but they were a nice size, round and fit perfectly in my hands, and her nipples were a light pinkish brown that looked amazing against her ivory skin.  And…and the sounds she made when I kissed her there…

I clear my throat and lick my lips.  I can’t do this right now.  I seriously have to control myself before I let her through that door. 

And…and if all she wants to do is work, I gotta think up shit to give her to do.  I can’t let her know that the only reason I brought her here was to try to relive Friday night.  To try to continue Friday night.

I put my hand against the lock against the front glass double doors and unlock it and push it open.  She’s there, cute, jeans and a grey t-shirt with faded writing against her breasts. Her hair is down and straight and she has a purse slung over her shoulder.  She smiles.

“Hey…come in…”  I say and she does, walking past me, smelling…fuck.  She’s wearing that same god damn perfume she was wearing Friday night.  I pull the door shut behind her and lock the door again.

She’s a few feet away from me looking around the store.  Its a little dark in here, I just have on the ceiling lights, not the spot lights.  It’s dim, but lit enough and she turns and looks at me for a moment.

“Where’s…”  She shuts her mouth quickly and bites the corner of her lip, staring at me with those big, dark brown eyes. 

“It looks nice.”  She adds quickly.

And while I stare at her and she stares at me I realize.

She knows.  She fucking knows.

She knows exactly why I asked her to come here tonight.  She knows exactly what I need “help” with.

And she’s smiling.

“Thanks,” I say, trying to sound as smooth and cool as possible, pushing myself from the door and walking past her and further into the store.  “We’ve worked hard on it.  I still need to clean up a few things, but I’m pretty much done I think.”

I just go ahead and admit it.  It’s out there now, there’s no me having to make up shit now.

She knows and I’m fucking giddy.

“Right…” She sits down on one of the wooden benches there on the right side of the walkway, between a socks bin and a Nike Shocks display.  “So um, been a stressful week, huh?”

I nod and walk closer to her.  She's holding her purse in her lap now, looking at me. “Yeah, it has been.  And I wanna apologize about this week.  I thought I was giving you space or something and I probably just came off as an asshole.”

“No…no…”  She shakes her head. I immediately sit down beside her and move to straddle the bench so I can look directly at her.  I hold the bench in between my knees as some sort of restraint to being this close to her.  It keeps me a few feet away and I’m able to occupy my hands.  She smells...amazing and she looks....perfect.

“Come on Jess, it’s a pretty asshole thing to do to tell a girl you really like her, hook up with her…”  I pause and she looks at me, her cheeks slightly pinkening, and I just go for it, “Hell, almost have sex with her and then not go see her or call her for days.”

She’s blushing fully now and says softly, “It’s ok.”

I shake my head and reach for her hand that's still against her bag; so much for restraint.  I pick it up and squeeze it. “I should have called you Saturday.  I thought about you every minute of that day.  I’ve thought about you every day since then.”

“You have?”  She's whispering and I lace my fingers against hers and rub the inside of her palm with my fingertips.  Her hands are warm and tiny.  And I can’t help but think of the way they gripped my shoulders and ran down my chest, how they held my face so we could kiss.

I want her hand on me....down there.  I want it grabbing my cock, stroking it, almost making me cum.  And then I want her to hold it and guide it into her body.  I want her to touch herself in front of me.  I want her fingers in my mouth after she’s done it.  I want them grabbing my back as I make her cum and spasm and scream.

Shit. 

“God girl, after the things you were doing to me how could I not think of you?”

She ducks her head and tries to pull her hand away, but I don’t let her, I just use it to try and pull closer to her. “Justin…”

“What?  I’m sorry.  You wanna not talk about it?”

“No, we can talk about it.”

I let go of her hand and reach up to brush her hair over her shoulder.  “I like you Jess.  Nothing’s changed that.  I really hate that I made you doubt any of that.  And I’m sorry that Dana girl said the shit she did.  Beverly told me this afternoon. She came down to my store and talked to me.”

Jess’ eyes widen and the color drains from her face.  “I would have already had a talk with Dana but she had left for the day, so I’m going to talk to her tomorrow if I get a chance with corporate here.  And if she keeps saying shit to the entire mall then I’m going to have to fire her.  ‘Cause it’s not cool for her to be making up shit about me, especially to you.  But nothing’s changed from Friday night.  I just want you more now.  It’s like really, really bad now.”

“It’s always been bad for me.”  She looks up at me and is biting her lip, but she starts to smile and I lean in a little and smile back at her.

“I used to just crave Reese’s every now and then… and now…now I’m fucking addicted, Jess.”

Her smile fades and she looks at me with wide eyes and speaks in a pleading voice, her hand touching my knee. “I had fun with you Friday night and I am sorry that--”

I cover her hand with mine and keep it there against my knee, wishing I had the guts to pull it higher.  I cut her off and say directly into her wide eyes, “Don’t apologize for something you couldn’t control, no one could.  No one knew Liz would get sick and I’d be a real asshole if I didn’t let you go help her, or if I expected an apology from you for getting off that bed with me.”

She pauses and looks down at our hands. “Did I do everything ok?”

I almost have to laugh at her.  Is she serious?  She is.  She's staring at me now, nibbling on that god damn bottom lip of hers that I want...that I need to suck in my mouth again.  I need it dragging across my skin, down over my chests and stomach….down against my dick. 

Fuck, it hurts.  It hurts so damn bad.  Jacking off just makes me feel pathetic, and while I’ve done it, yeah, quite a bit lately, it doesn’t give me the release I need.

It just makes me want her to do those things to me.

“Are you kidding me?  Girl, did you not feel me?”

“Yeah…I did.”  She blushes and I know I'm being bold, talking all about me getting hard and shit, but whatever.  We were there Friday night.  We were flirting and so what if we were a little drunk, we both wanted it.  And I still want it. 

“Why you getting all shy on me Jess?”

“I don’t know.  I guess ‘cause I kind of…I’ve just been left wanting and waiting ever since that night.” Shit.  I stare at her and she stares at me and then suddenly she looks down at her purse and stands up off the bench.

Hell no.  Hell fucking no.

 “I should go put my purse up and we should get to work.”

I grab her arm and yank her down.  “Sit down,” I say forcefully.

“What?” Her purse drops to the floor and she laughs a little uncomfortably when her ass hits the bench. 

I just, I fucking can't stand it anymore!  Yeah, so what if it was supposed to build up and be me seducing her and kissing her all slow?  I can't...I can't stand this!  I need her.  I've been needing her and it has been building up since the moment I fucking met her! Since that fucking moment I walked into her damn store to get my fucking candy.  I’ve wanted her, I’ve craved her.

My dick has been aching for her, my…my lips need to kiss her.  I feel desperate and lonely without her near me.  It’s like I’ve got this sick disease and she’s the only fucking cure.

“Just…”  She starts to say and I don't stop myself and I don’t think I could if a gun was pointed to my temple, finger on the trigger. I reach forward and put one hand around her back on her waist and I pull myself up to her and grab her face with my other hand and turn it to me.

And I kiss her.

I fucking kiss her.  Hard, forcefully, and she grips the straps of my tank in her fists and moans against my mouth, turning her torso against mine and kissing me back almost as furiously as I'm kissing her.  Tongues sliding and swiping, lips desperate, pushing and pulling each other closer.  I break away from her mouth roughly and keep my hand on her cheek and say right into those large, fucking beautiful eyes, “Nothing..."

I grip her cheek harder and feel like shaking something.  I’m not trying to be hurtful, I just want her to feel the force and the need that's in me.  I want her to feel how much I need to be with her.  I hope she can feel it.  I hope she needs me, too. "Not a fucking thing is going to stop us tonight, not unless the god damn ceiling crashes in on us am I gonna let anything interrupt us tonight.  As long as you want me, I’ll be right here…”

She stares at me for a long, long time and then suddenly she starts to smile. Her eyes rise and look upward and her face turns and looks up at the ceiling.  I follow her gaze and realize what I just said about the ceiling. She's eyeing it cautiously, but laughing softly.

I fucking love her.

I really think I do.  I haven’t even had sex with this woman, only kissed her a handful of times, and I fucking love her.

I decide to start this.  No, I have to start this.  I pull myself up even closer to her, legs still spread, but her body in between mine.  I run my fingers through her hair a little bit and she looks down at me with lazy eyes and tilts her head into my palm. I stare right at her.

This...this is going to be so damn good.  I'm going to make it last and I'm going to make her feel better than...than I've ever made anyone feel before.  I’m going to touch her and kiss her everywhere she’ll let me.  And if she lets me fuck her, god damn…

I’m not going to stop.  I’m not going to fucking stop thrusting in her until she begs me, until she has to have me exploding inside her. 

I’ve spent way, way too long needing her.  I have to have her.

"Jess..."  I say and she opens her eyes a little. All she does is smile at me, that’s all it takes.  I lean in, I kiss her and grip her thigh and hold her head against mine.  I kiss her and kiss her until we both can’t breathe and then I pull back only for a moment, taking in her ragged breaths, tilting my head and going back in to kiss her more. I suck at her lips and taste her tongue. I bite at her and she nips back at me and smiles, fucking smiles when she does it.

And I don’t stop kissing her.  I can't. 

It’s over now.  It’s all done.  All the build up and drama.  All the need and the ache.  It’s all about to be over.

I completely and totally give in.