The Shoe Excuse

I stare at her ass as she walks down the same aisle I’m on, slowly moving back to the stock room with a phone by her ear. It looks firm yet still enough bounce in it that I could grab it and smack it while she’s on top of me. She was up here with me, smiling, asking me how I was doing when the phone rang and it was her brother. Now Bev’s up here, trying to talk me into asking Jess out.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just ask her out for dinner or something.” I move my eyes from her cute, tight little ass confined in olive colored pants. I wonder what she’s got on underneath.

I look at Beverly and she’s got an eyebrow raised at me. I wonder if she knows I was just staring at Jess’s ass. “‘Cause I don’t date Beverly. You should know this by now.”

She sighs and shrugs her shoulders, “You just never know what might happen.”

“What does that mean?” Bev doesn’t answer me, and turns a little bit like she’s reading this paper she has laying on the back counter. Bev always tells me I should ask, but today she’s really zeroing in on it. Does that mean maybe, maybe Jess told her she likes me? No…no. I turn and look at Jess and she smiles and points her finger at her head like a gun and rolls her eyes. I look back at Beverly, “Bev….does she, does she like me?”

“I don’t know. You guys just flirt a lot.” She’s still not looking at me.

“It’s me Bev, there’s always flirtation surrounding my fine ass.”

She sighs again and turns to me, leaning against the register counter and tapping her finger against my forehead. “I just wish you would settle down. I know you have a busy life, but a good girlfriend will relax you a little, make you happy.”

“I’m fine and happy as I am right now. And girlfriends bring drama. I feel like your terrified that I’m never going to get married.”

“Maybe I am.”

I narrow my eyes at her. She’s being too serious today. She needs to lighten up. And…and she’s making me think things and well, it’s fine when I just have out of control hormones for a girl, it’s another thing for her to be my girlfriend and for there to be ya know, feelings there. “Maybe I don’t want to get married.”

“Who’s getting married?” Jess says, coming around the counter and putting the cordless phone back on its base.

“You and me.” I laugh and she blushes a little.

“Oh my god, I know the perfect cake topper.” She slides open the case that’s halfway behind the register filled with Precious Moments. She reaches up and pulls down the gayest shit I’ve ever seen; two little people made of ceramic with weird looking eyes, all dressed up like their getting married. There’s even a little plaque underneath that says, “Forever I do.”

Bev throws up her hands and mumbles, “you’ve both lost it,” and walks from behind the counter out on the floor somewhere. I turn back to Jess.

She looks really cute today. Normally her hair is down, or in a ponytail, but today it’s pulled up in this little loop thing and its all spiky at parts. “I like your hair like that.”

“Oh…this?” She laughs and leans against the counter a little. I try not to make it noticeable but the apron dips down and I guess she’s wearing a V-neck underneath ‘cause I can see her cleavage all pressed together. “This was me not having time to do anything this morning. My brother had a pre-birthday party last night and I didn’t get to bed until two.”

“Then why didn’t you go home earlier? Some hot guy and you having a good time and you didn’t want to leave?” I cringe. I hope she doesn’t say yes. What if she does? What if she says something about how her and her boyfriend had sex ‘til two in the morning, that he strung her up from the ceiling or something and fucked her until she came all hard and loud.

I blink when she says, “Right…right. Sure.” She says it sarcastically and rolls her eyes.

Thank God. “No, I live with my brother. He’s in college and annoys me. And no hot guy was having a good time with me unless you consider someone throwing up on my balcony as a good time.”

“Yeah, you need to get out of that. Throw up is not sexy.” She nods and it’s quiet. She doesn’t say anything and I think maybe I offended her or something. I don’t know how, but she’s not looking at me, staring off into space with her hand on her hip.

After an awkward, good while she groans, bends forward quite a bit and rests her cheek on the counter. Her arms are out in front of her reaching to the end and grabbing it. She sighs, then pulls her arms up and bends her elbows so she can prop her chin against her knuckles.

She stares right at me and says, “Justin, I might go crazy today.”

“Crazy?”

“We have nothing to do.” She rolls her eyes and says it louder, “Nothing. Except dusting and I fucking hate dusting. Do you have a position down there that I can fill in for?”

Positions? Yes, yes every fucking one of them.

I clear my throat, “Yeah…” I nod and smile. “A shoe duster.”

“You’re no fun.” She doesn’t push me like she usually does when I tease her. I can really see that she’s tired today, fed up. It’s one of those days where retail really does seem like hell. Nothing to do in the store or at least nothing you really have the energy to do. These are the days when you wish you were busy. You wish you did have a really needy customer to spend all your time helping, so at least then you wouldn’t be staring at the clock.

It’s slow today. Since I’ve been they haven’t had a customer and I can tell it’s going to be slow for my store, too. Meaning I’ll spend most of my day thinking about her. Which is bad, real bad.

She still doesn’t say anything and is staring off into space, but looking at my shirt. I look down to see if anything’s on it, but it’s clean. God, maybe she is tired, or maybe…maybe she’s fed up.

A thought crosses my mind and before I can check myself I spit it out, eager, and concerned, and pathetic, “Are you thinking about quitting?”

“I don’t know. It’s just one of those days where I just can’t stand anything.”

“You can’t even stand me? That hurts.” She sticks her tongue out at me and is smiling again. Good. “I’ll keep my eyes open, we’ve got some kids that will be leaving in the fall for school and stuff but I doubt you’d want their job. It’s like register and stocking and stuff.”

“What do you think I do here all day?” She laughs a little and leans forward and picks up the middle of my jersey at my stomach. Shit… “I just wanna kick ass jersey.”

“You’d look cute in one.”

Now I’m thinking about her working for me. Oh God the fantasies are running wild. Fucking her in the stock room or on the benches before we open. Shit, maybe one night she’d have to work late, just me and her, helping me stock or something, and she’d be putting out some sports bras or something and I’d come behind her and push my dick against her ass and cup her breasts in my hands and suck on her neck. And then I’d put my hand in between her legs and start rubbing her there, still with her clothes on.

But I betcha I could get her little clothes off faster than she could herself.

I blink.

“Do I get a whistle?” She smiles, biting her bottom lip. I want those lips on me.

Now.

“Not at first, but I’ll let you borrow mine.” I need to distract myself so I finally open my Reese’s that I haven’t even bought yet and bite into it.

“I want that.” She says and I find myself staring at her. Not again. It’s been two days since she took it from my hand with her mouth…two days…

“Oh really?”

“I got it the other day. I just made myself all craving it.”

“Well this is mine since you stole the other one from me.”

“Please…I didn’t steal it. You were tempting me with it. Practically begging me to take it.” I would. I’d beg for her to take it. For her to take all of me in her, swift and hard. I bet ya she’d let me go all the way in. I bet she’s the type to like it real, real deep.

I bet she’d grab my back and pull herself up and whisper, “Yes Justin…fuck…yes, that’s my spot…”

I gulp.

“You made me all horny biting it out of my hand,” I say.

What…what am I doing? I can’t flirt with her this hard. Fuck it, I’m already hard. And I hope to God it’s not noticeable.

“Justin!” She smacks my shoulder, but she’s smiling and blushing, maybe even breathing a little harder than normal….

I lean forward; not only does it let me get closer to her, but I’m able to press my crotch against the edge of the counter. “Well you did.”

I can’t help but notice how close she is now, hands against the counter, body up against the edge as well, smiling right at me. She narrows her eyes slightly, “Don’t you have a store to run?”

“Oh…” I lick my lips. She looks at me when I do it, looks at my mouth. Shit, God damn. Maybe…maybe Bev is right, maybe she’s telling me something. Maybe little Jess wants my dick as much I want her tight, little pussy. I bet it is, too. I bet it’s tight and hot and….stop it Justin. Good God I’m gonna come in my pants if I keep thinking like this. Then I’d get fired and probably go to jail for sexual harassment.

Unless of course Jess likes it. Maybe she gets off teasing the shit out of me. “Well kick me out why don’t you!”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean that bitchy…” I wonder if she’d ever be a dominatrix, not like hard core bondage, but ya know; tying me to the bed, wearing all black, maybe a little mask, fucking me just right, getting herself off but leaving me there for hours on the edge of it as she makes herself come and come and come. And I would just have to lay there and watch….

“I just know you usually don’t stay this long.”

I have got to stop this.

Work, talk about work. About her in my jersey, tight against her breasts, wearing nothing else, nothing underneath, not even any panties….

I blink and shake my head a little. “We’re dead down there, too. Plus my assistant manager is back from his vacation so he can do my job for me.”

“Kevin Callow?”

“Yeah.” I can do this. I can be calm in front of her. I have to be. “Crazy kid.”

She laughs a little, smiling at me genuinely. “I went to high school with him. He is crazy. He’s a nice guy, though. I think I actually had a crush on him freshman year. But then it was all about Bo Boyd.”

“Bo Boyd?!”

“Oh my God…” She gushes and I hate that I’m surged with jealousy. It’s one thing to want to have sex with her. It’s another thing to actually have a crush on her and be jealous of a guy I’ve never even met. This is bad. This is real bad. “If I saw him right now I’d probably still have a crush on him.”

“My feelings are kind of hurt,” I say.

She rolls her eyes and says, “You’re silly.” But she’s looking at me now, as if she wants to see if I really am hurt.

It’s quiet again, only the sound of classical music that Hannah makes them play softly coming from speakers in the ceiling. Ya know…ya know I should just do it. I should just…I mean if she says no, she says no and I can just play it off that I was gonna be bored all weekend. I’ll make it seem casual, maybe even have Pete come with a friend or two…and then have them leave “unexpectedly.”

“Got big weekend plans?” I ask to check the water first.

“Well tonight I gotta do some shopping after work, but I might go to Olde Town Mall because I’m fucking tired of this place. And then I’m gonna go stay at my friend’s house for the night while my brother destroys our apartment and then tomorrow night my parents are coming up and we’re going out for steaks or something. And then Sunday I have like five thousand loads of laundry to do. And then Monday I’m back here, and my weekends over and I’ll be depressed again.”

Great, wonderful. She’s got plans and I’m going to be alone in my condo all Friday night and all Saturday night like a loser, with nothing but my hand and a small bottle of lube.

I wonder if she uses lube when she gets herself off. I wonder if she gets herself off.

I wonder if someone else is able to get her off…

Dammit.

“But you’ll get to see me.” I smile. It’s sick that for some reason on Monday mornings, which I hate, I’m not a morning person at all--it’s sick that the only thing that gives me a bit of satisfaction is knowing that I’ll see her.

God, I must have a crush on her.

“Yes, yes the highlight of my day,” she says sarcastically, but she’s smiling.

“Hey, Reese’s are the highlight of my day.”

“What about you…” She asks, “What are you doing?”

“Just hanging out. I don’t have big plans. My buddy Pete and I might go out for a drink tonight. I’m kind of past all my crazy partying days. I’m like an old man now.”

“Aww Gramps.”

Great, now she finds me old, wrinkly, unattractive and unable to get it up.

I stick my tongue out and flick her on the arm with my middle finger. She opens her mouth and rubs the spot with her other hand and I just laugh. “So whatcha gonna buy for me this afternoon?”

“Nothing. I’m buying my brother something for his birthday and nothing else, ‘cause I’m broke.” She waves her hands and talks secretively, “I know I might be fooling ya with this nice little apron and kick ass job, but the pay is not that great.”

She’s so silly and funny and I love it. “Any ideas for what you wanna get him?”

“I don’t know. You’re a man, you tell me.”

I shrug, “Well if you wanna get him some shoes or some gear or something, you can come down after work and I’ll hook you up.”

God, if I get to see her this afternoon, too I’m gonna be in heaven. That way I’ll have fresh images in my head on my way home. God I’m such a pathetic piece of shit. I can’t even get the guts to ask her out so I’m going home to jack off all weekend. Pete would kill me if he knew this is what I was thinking. He’d force me to a strip club and put one of his little blonde friends in my lap.

I want her in my lap. Maybe wearing nothing but that dark green faded apron…

The phone rings and she goes to pick it up, but doesn’t. I guess she sees Bev got it in the back or something.

“Nah, you don’t have to do that.”

Now I’m determined to get her down to my store. Whether she buys anything or not, I just want to see her again today. “Why not? I’m the manager. I do what I want. Just think about it. We’ve got a good sale going on and a lot of new styles just came out for back to school stuff. If anything you should just drop by and see what we have. If you don’t like it I’ll even give you a comment card to fill out and you can bash my guts out.”

She opens her mouth to say something but Bev comes up beside me and waves a phone at Jess. “Your brother’s on the phone again.”

Jess sighs and growls and takes the phone and says something into the phone, but I can’t hear it ‘cause she mumbles it and she walks towards the back of the store. I watch her walk away. God, I love the way her ass shifts in her pants.

I really do wanna grab it, like I can just see it, me laying on the bed and her on top of me, sitting right on my dick and my hands on her ass. And her just smiling at me, smiling and closing her eyes and tilting her head back as she touches her breasts and rides me.

“Did you ask her?”

I suck in a breath and move my eyes to Beverly. “No.”

“Justin!” She whines.

“Beverly!” I mock her.

“One of these days I’m going to set you both up and you won’t even know it.”

I look down at my watch. Shit I’ve been gone almost 20 minutes. “I need to get back.”

“Avoidance doesn’t work with me!” Beverly says. She looks like my mother right now.

“See ya Miss Bev. Tell Jess I said I’d see her later.” I turn and move to walk out, glancing to see if she’s looking at me. She is. She shrugs and waves.

“I’m going to tell her you love her,” Beverly says to me with a laugh.

“You do that.”

I don’t realize until I’m out the door, down the steps and almost at my store, the severity of what Beverly just said to me. And what’s most dangerous about it is that I didn’t even flinch.

I haven’t been in love with a girl in four years. And…and whatever these feelings I have for Jess, that’s… that’s not what love is. It’s lust, only lust. That’s all it can be. That’s…that’s all I can let it be. And I’ve got to figure out a way to get over it.

Or soon I’m gonna be 40, alone, and out of lube.