Soon after Trace insisted on going back out the three of us loaded into Justin’s 7 Series BMW and headed to the movies. When Justin parked his car down the street from the theatre there was a swarm of paparazzi waiting for us as if they knew we were going to be there. Clad in ripped up jeans, a vintage concert tee, my white beanie and white Chuck Taylor’s on my feet we brushed passed them the best we could, but it was still hard to escape the assholes.

“Justin! It’s a nice night to be out, isn’t it? What movie are you guys going to see?” Why couldn’t all paparazzi ask questions like that, things would be so much easier if they didn't pry. And Lately Justin had this thing about not being an asshole to the paparazzi so of course he answered him.

“It is a nice night and we’re not sure yet. You guys have a good night though.” That wasn’t enough for them, one of the other assholes decided to pry.

“Who’s that with Trace? Is that Alana Justin? Is she out here for your birthday this week? Alana what’d you get Justin for his birthday?” Justin turned around and looked at me apologetically; I was hoping they didn’t notice me with my curly hair straightened and my beanie pulled low on my face but they did. I knew I had to answer or else things would have been turned negatively on me, although I’m sure they were already having a field day taking pictures of Trace and I holding hands.

“If I told you what I got Justin for his birthday that’d spoil everything, now wouldn’t it?”

“Where’s Jessica tonight Justin?”

“Her mother’s in town this weekend.”

“Does she know Alana is in town? How does she feel about you Alana?” Those assholes were really starting to get on my nerves and Trace could tell from the way I grabbed his hand harder as we got closer to the door.

“She knows, she picked me up from the airport actually.” They didn’t have to know that Jessica and I hated each other. If I made it seem like Jessica and I liked each other maybe they would lay low with the ‘rumors’ going around.

“Are you and Trace dating? What happened to Justin?” The camera flashes were starting to get on my nerves more than their annoying catcalls.

“We have been for months. I lend her off to Justin every once in a while when I wanna shake the shit outta her. He puts her in place then sends her back my way. You know?” I love that man. Justin and I started to crack up at Trace’s response, knowing they were going to quote him word for word and then some online or in magazines. We walked in the door to the movies, still cracking up. We ended up seeing a movie Jessica had just finished, much to my dislike. Sure enough, when the movie was over they were outside stalking us still.

“Have I ever told you guys how much I hate LA?” I could already hear the idiots outside of the door getting excited that we were coming back out.

“Yeah, every fucking day you lived here with us you mentioned it. I think we’re aware.”

It’s the truth. When I stayed with Justin when I was getting back on my feet after Tommy I brought up my hatred for LA at least once a day. It seemed like everyone there was only trying to make it in the entertainment industry; every girl I came in contact with while I lived there either wanted to be a model or an actress. No one cared about who they had to step on, or fuck for that matter, to get their way to the top. You may think I’m lying when I say this, but girls have hit on me while I lived there when they found out who I lived with. I’ve had my fair share of girls using me as their friend to get to Justin, which didn’t really work out in their favor. And I hate the fact that celebrities can’t step out of your house without people following up your ass; get a real job, get a life. There were countless times that Trace (when he wasn’t so well known) and I got followed back to Justin’s just because we were seen around town with him occasionally.

“Have I ever told you that I hate LA even more as of this moment?” We were making our way to get a late night ‘meal’ since I hadn’t eaten with them when I let go of Justin’s hand and stopped walking. The two of them walked a few feet in front of me before realizing I wasn’t in the middle of them anymore. When they stopped to look at me they noticed I was staring ahead of them at something.

“Oh wow.” Yeah, wow is right Justin.

“Just keep walking La, we’re almost there.” How the fuck do you keep walking when you see someone you were head over heels with at one point kissing all up on some girl? But I did keep walking, that is until I heard my name come from his mouth.

Tommy looked the same as he did when we were together; he was still the very tall and thin (gorgeous) Puerto Rican man that I had fallen in love with years earlier. When we locked eyes I could have sworn I saw sympathy pass by him; he always had this ability to read me through my eyes. I could tell he felt bad that I was still the same person in every aspect of life; I was still hanging out with the same two people, clearly I wasn’t with anyone, and while I was wearing ripped jeans and my shirt that I had since the two of us had dated, he was wearing his usual designer clothes that most likely cost what my mortgage does in a month. The girl he had on his arm was gorgeous as well; she was much taller than I was with long brown hair and was very skinny and busty (not that I’m not busty, but my size 7 was obese compared to her size 00).

“Hi.” I shouldn’t have stopped walking, I should have just kept going and pretended like I wasn’t Alana. Stupid legs, why did they have to betray me?

“How have you been?” He wasn’t looking at me when he asked me though. Tommy was staring dead at Justin and Trace who were standing on guard directly behind me. I could see that he was somewhat intimidated and amused.

“I’ve been alright.” He looked up and down at what I was wearing and smiled.

“I see that. Still got your bodyguards following you around too, that’s cool.” He laughed a little but no one followed after him. I didn’t find it amusing and I’m sure Justin and Trace were ready to rearrange his pretty face.

“I see you’ve been alright too.” Tommy saw me look at the bimbo hanging onto his arm.

“This is my fiancé. Laura this is Alana, an old friend.” At that point I felt like he had shoved his hand through my chest and ripped my heart out while enjoying every bit of it. Tommy knew I was lonely and he was lapping in my misery. I had been demoted from ‘his first love’ to an old friend. Ouch, right?

“Nice to meet you Alana, Tommy’s told me a little about you. Tommy baby, I’m going to head to the car. I’ll see you there?” He reached into his pocket and handed her the keys and kissed her before she walked away. I couldn’t help but notice the small bulge in her stomach when she turned sideways to walk away.

“Wow Thomas, getting married and having a baby? I thought you’d never commit. That’s a big step for you, isn’t it? Congratulations though, I’m happy for you.” I didn’t mean that, in case you were wondering.

“Thanks. What about you Alana, there a lucky guy in your life?” Again he looked past me and smirked at Justin and Trace.

“Actually…”I was ready to declare how much of a loser I was when Justin cut me off.

“Yeah, there is.” I felt his strong arms wrap around me from behind. What the hell was Justin talking about? He knew as well as I did that I was lonely as hell.

“I knew you two would always end up together. Well I hope you’re happy, best of luck to the both of you.” He shot a grin that was always plastered on his face when Justin was around and walked away towards the Bentley Laura had gotten into a few seconds earlier. When he got in and started the car I turned towards my two best friends and frowned.

“Can we head back to your place Jay?” They didn’t even have to respond, I knew the answer was going to be yes. Suddenly everything in my world changed. I had lost my appetite and it had become hard to breathe. I felt like someone had placed a bag of bricks on my chest and kept adding on more weight.

From the moment Trace helped me into the backseat of Justin’s car everything had been a blur. I don’t remember going back to Justin’s and drinking him out of house and home. I don’t remember calling Noel and crying on the phone about how fucked up my life is and how I was going to die alone because everyone wanted to just be friends with me. I don’t remember waking up in the middle of the night after I had passed out and going into Justin’s room for a late night fuck, but I did.

I did all of that and felt like I had been hit with an aluminum bat repeatedly when I woke up the next morning. When my eyes opened I saw that I was alone in Justin’s king sized bed and I didn’t remember how I got there. I let my eyes focus and looked around the room at my strewn clothes and groaned loudly when I tried to move and felt extremely sore, the night’s events hit me hard. As I picked up the pillow from Justin’s side of the bed and held it tightly over my face I heard the door from Justin’s bathroom open and close.

“What are you doing?” I didn’t bother to take the pillow off of my face to know that Justin had just come out of the shower and was most likely naked.

“Trying to kill myself, what does it look like? Just leave and you can say you didn't see anything.” God damn why did he have to laugh, I fucking love his laugh. I felt a hand grasp the pillow firmly and yank it off of me, asshole. I looked up at him and noticed that he was, in fact, just putting on his boxers.

“Can you get dressed please? And stop talking so loud.” I knew he wasn’t yelling, that was just my hangover talking.

“You didn’t seem to mind me being butt nekkid last night when you were screaming my name.”

“I wasn’t screaming.” I’m sure I was screaming though, the aching between my legs let me know that it wasn’t just any normal night of sex between the two of us.

“Yeah, you were screaming La. Trace pounded on the walls a few times.”

“Whatever.”

“Why’d you get so upset over Tommy?”

“He’s engaged and going to have a fucking baby. He didn’t want my fucking baby, but he’s having one with her. What is so wrong with me Jay? What does she have that I don’t, other than fake tits? I killed my fucking kid because of him…my baby…” I couldn’t finish my breakdown because Justin’s house phone started to ring uncontrollably while he was getting dressed, which left me to answer it.

“What?” I wasn’t happy and I was letting it be known to anyone who came in contact with me.

“Put Justin on the phone.”

“Well good afternoon to you too Jessie.”

“I didn’t call to speak to you.” I got up out of bed and brought the cordless phone over to Justin who was standing inside of his unusually large closet putting on a pair of jeans.

“Yeah?”

“Girlfriend’s on the phone and she seems a little PO’ed.” He rolled his eyes and snatched the phone form me.

Instead of waiting around to see what was happening with Justin and Jessica I left the room and went downstairs to grab something to eat and see what Trace was up to. Don’t ask me why he didn’t just stay in his own house, Trace is strange like that.

“Morning.”

“It’s the afternoon La.” He was sitting at the island in Justin’s kitchen skimming through his Sidekick.

“Same difference. What are you doing shrimp?”

“Looking for an old text with the number to the club where Jay’s party is, I’ve got to give it to Lynn to so she make an appointment to finalize all the details. I see you’re feeling better from last night.”

“Better? I feel worse. Why the hell did you guys let me drink myself into oblivion?” I looked at the fridge and saw the number Trace was looking for on a bright green post it and handed it to him.

“Thanks. And we didn’t let you. I tried to pry that bottle of Grey Goose out of your hands many times and you put up a tough fight for it. I gave up and let you drink it; Justin took over when you started to down his bottle of Hypnotiq.” I made at face at Trace when he told me I drank that nasty blue shit; I hate Hypnotiq for the simple fact that it gets me shit faced and very friendly with random people and it was Tommy’s drink of choice when he felt I needed to be smacked around.

“Great.”

“I don’t get why you let Tommy get to you like that. I know he’s a dick, and he’s just lucky I didn’t beat his ass right then and there…” Trace may be littler than Justin and Tommy but he can sure pack a punch. Tommy knows that first hand, of course.

“We all know why I let Tommy get to me Trace. Why do you let Tommy get to you?”

“He’s an asshole. He makes it hard for the good guys to get by with girls.” Before I could even answer Justin came running down the back steps that led into his kitchen. Trace and I looked at him like he had two heads while he stood and caught his breath by the back door.

“What the hell man? Who died?”

“Go get my laptop from my office. I’ve got something to show you guys.” Trace went and got the laptop and brought it back to the kitchen. Justin sat in front of it and opened up one of those celebrity blog websites and in the first margin there were pictures and a video of us walking down the street from the night before. One picture in particular that Justin was focused on was a picture of him and I sitting on the edge of his pool, kissing. Damn those mother fuckers work fast because I knew that picture couldn’t have been taken any other day.

“Oh good Lord.”

“Good Lord is right. Where the hell were these assholes hiding?” I wasn’t worried about where they were hiding; I was worried that I didn’t remember anything after getting in the BMW after running into Tommy. I don’t remember being by the pool with Justin. I knew I was extremely gone if I couldn’t even remember that.

“You guys are in some shit now when Jess finds out.”

“What the hell do you think Jessica just called me for? She’s pissed.”

“Yeah thanks for stating the obvious Trace.” My cell phone started to ring on the far side of the counter next to Trace so he answered it.

“No, does this sound like Alana to you? Who’s this?” He paused for a minute before answering whoever it was back, “Tray? No this is Trace…” I snatched my phone from his ear when I figured out it was Derek. I didn’t feel like talking to him to hear what he said to say so I snapped my phone shut. Mean, I know.

We sat around the kitchen joking around and trying to figure out what we were going to do about the pictures when Mama Lynn walked into Justin’s house followed by Uncle Johnny. Great, right?

It had been a while since I saw my Uncle so I got off the barstool and ran over to him, hoping that he wasn’t pissed off about the pictures and videos that surfaced.

“Hey baby girl.” He kissed my forehead when he hugged me, but looked at me sternly as if he were telling me that I was fucking up big time.

“Hi Uncle JJ, hey Mama Lynn.” She hugged Justin then Trace then made her way over to me with open arms and a big ass smile on her face.

“Uh Mama, what’s the cheesy grin for?”

“You guys could have told me you two were together.”

“Uh, we’re not?” She looked back and forth between the two of us and frowned.

“What do you mean you’re not together?”

“Have you forgotten about Jessica Ma?”

“I thought things were rocky between you two?”

“They are, that doesn’t mean LaLa and I are together. You of all people should know not to believe those tabloids. I'm surprised at you.” The room fell silent and the two adults just looked between the two of us.

"Then what's going on you guys?" I looked towards Uncle Johnny who had asked the question then looked back at Trace who was silently laughing. Way to show support to your two best friends buddy.

"We were just having fun. Alright?"

Telling Uncle Johnny, who is basically in charge of Justin, and Mama Lynn that Justin and I were just fuck buddies was very much out of the question. I couldn't let Uncle Johnny down and let him know that I was messing around with his client and I couldn't bring the wool out from over Lynn's eyes. I didn't want to seem like some tramp in their eyes because at times that's what I felt like.

Strangely Lynn wasn't upset about the pictures that surfaced. Though Lynn was somewhat happy I knew other people weren't going to be and I was going to have to pay for it.