Seeing Derek for only a couple days wasn’t really enough for me; I was so used to seeing him everyday for a while that I had really started to miss being around him. The few days that he was in LA Derek was somewhat of my comfort blanket; I missed the East Coast entirely too much because once again, Los Angeles was letting me down completely. Saying goodbye to him was probably the hardest thing I had done in a while, aside from making the decision to move.
“Why are you crying?” I looked at Derek who was loading his suitcase out of my car and shrugged my shoulders.
“I don’t know, I guess I just want more time with you.” He dropped his suitcase on the ground next to where I was standing and wrapped his arms around me.
“We’ll make this work, okay? I’ve got to go though, or I’m going to miss my flight.” He leaned down, wiped a stray tear from my face and kissed me lightly.
“Call me when you land at JFK.” He started to walk towards the door of LAX when he stopped and turned back around.
“I will, and Alana?”
“Yeah?”
“Go easy on that house mate of yours, please.”
“Did someone take a liking to Justin now or something?” I couldn’t help but smirk at what he was asking. Derek and Justin had been somewhat civil to each other while he stayed with us, even if Justin and I were completely ignoring each other or making snide remarks.
“No, I just don’t want to have to beat his ass if something else happens with you guys.” I ran over to him quickly and gave him one last kiss before he walked into the airport and out of my life in LA.
I was driving in downtown LA, on my way to pick up groceries, when I started to think about everything that had been going on. My expectations of LA this time around were so high and I was only let down; after living there for only a month Justin and I had managed to get so tangled up in each other that we fucked up a good friendship and I couldn’t find a steady job for the life of me. I was 24 with my Masters in English Education, about to work as a measly substitute; somehow I pictured things would be so much different this time around but they were worse.
I missed home; I missed my parents; I missed my brothers; I missed my own house; and I especially missed my students. Thinking about all of those things as I drove didn’t help my emotions at all, and the tears just started to spill at a rapid pace and I couldn’t control them. By the time I had made it to the parking lot of Whole Foods I was a complete wreck and didn’t want to get out of the car, so I exited the parking lot and drove around the streets to calm myself down.
I had managed to block everything out until I heard the chorus of “Hot Thing” by Talib Kweli come flooding from the passenger’s seat. I didn’t even have to look at the caller ID to know who it was, and he was the last person I wanted to speak to at the moment, but I pressed the button on my bluetooth and answered his call anyway.
“What?” I tried to make my voice sound like I hadn’t been crying, but I guess I failed.
“What’s wrong Alana? Is everything okay?” Even though we were being assholes to each other he still cared about whether or not I was okay, which I could always count on him for.
“I’m fine what do you want Justin?”
“Look La, I think you need to come home, now.”
“What the fuck, are you my daddy? Last time I checked I’m grown.”
“Don’t fight me right now Alana, we need to talk.”
“You’ve got me on the phone Justin, so fucking talk.”
“You need to come home, now.”
“I’ve got groceries to get for Trace and I.”
“They can wait…” Before I could even say anything in response to him I heard the phone click and the call was ended. Groaning loudly I made a u-turn in the direction of the house and sped back there.
Once I parked my car behind his Rubicon I marched up the walkway mumbling obscenities under my breath about Justin until I was safely inside and slammed the door shut. I threw my purse and keys on the couch, accidentally hitting Trace who happened to be lying on it.
“Ouch. What the hell crawled up your ass?” I shot him a glare as he sat up and looked over the back of the couch with a beer bottle in one hand and his cell phone attached to his ear by the other.
“Don’t you have your own house to be at? And where’s your friend?” I stalked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab a beer for myself before hopping up on the marble countertop.
“Why’s he gotta be my friend? Isn’t he yours too?”
“You’ve known him longer.”
“So? We don’t fuck, you guys do. I like to think that make you more attached to him than I am.”
“Whatever.” I saw Trace close his phone from out of the corner of my eye and I couldn’t help but be curious about who he was speaking to.
“I was just talking to my friend and he's still at the studio from last night, so I don’t know why you came rushing in here like he owes you a million bucks. But enough about Justin, let's talk food. What’d you get at Whole Foods? I was thinking that we could have lemon chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight.”
“I didn’t get shit to make for us because your friend called me and told me I needed to come home. I’m going to kill him Trace.”
“Relax, let’s just head out. I’ll help you shop then we can come back here and cook and watch some movies or something.”
I definitely wasn’t about to protest him helping me grocery shop, I hate it. We climbed into Trace’s car and headed in the direction I had just come from and made it to Whole Foods in a matter of 15 minutes, thanks to Dale Earnhardt III.
“So he really called you and told you to come home?” Trace took his hand off of the steering wheel when we came to a red light after our grocery shopping excursion.
“Yeah, he made it seem all urgent and shit too. So once again I put my life on hold for him and he doesn’t deliver.”
“I’ve got to stop by the studio to pick up some money for dog food from him, do you mind?”
“Not at all.” So what if I was lying? I didn’t want to be anywhere near that asshole but it made no sense to have Trace drive past the studio to bring me home then drive all the way back.
Within five minutes the two of us were walking arm and arm into the studio doors to find where Justin was. The receptionist at the front desk giggled at Trace who winked at her and called her ‘Mami’ (gag me) and pointed out that Justin was in studio 6 which was upstairs and to the left. Immediately after getting upstairs Trace and I could hear music playing from behind the door that was labeled ‘Six’.
“Right there, can you double it up? I don’t like how that sounded alone.” I opened the door to the large room and was met with the stench of weed and smiling faces from Tim, Sebastian, and Tim’s protégé Keri. Sebastian got up and did that ‘manly’ hug with Trace and hugged me tenderly before going back over to the soundboard.
“Hey Alana!” I sat down next to Keri on the couch and started talking to her while we watched Justin record.
“Hey what’s going on here?”
“Justin had an idea for a song for that beat he made last week so he wanted to lay it down before it left his mind.”
“Why couldn’t he just write that shit down?”
“You know how he is.” Trace shot the answer to my question from across the room. He was right though, when Justin wants to do something he’s going to do it. We sat there for a good twenty minutes waiting for Justin to perfect his vocals before he came out of the other room to listen to the playback of the final cut.
J. Timberlake
Oo-ooh, oo-ooooh
(Ay-ay-ay, Aay, Ay-ay-ay, Aay, Ay-ay-ay, Ay)
Into the bed, bed, bed
Into the bed, bed, bed
Girl, change into that Victoria Secret thing that I like
Alright, Okay
Tonight you're having me your way
Perfume, Spray it there
Put our love in the air
Now put me right next to you
Finna raise temp' in the room
First rub my back like you do
Right there (uh huh) right there (uh)
You touch me like you care, Now stop
And let me repay you for the week that you've been through
Workin' that nine to five and stayin' cute like you do
Oh, oh, oh I love it (I love it)You love it (you love it)
Everytime (everytime) We touchin' (we touchin')
I want it (I want it)You want it (you want it)
I'll see you (see you)In the mornin' (in the mornin')
Wanna put my fingers through your hair
Wrap me up in you, yeah
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryna put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock ya body, Turn you over
Love is war, I'm your soldier
Touchin' you like it's our first time
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'm starin' at you while you're sleep
Irreplaceable beauty
Put my face up in your neck and breathe (Ooh, breathe)
Take you into my senses
Wake up it's time to finish
Round two, round two, Matter of fact, it's closer to three
She like, "How long I been sleep?"
Shawty kisses turn into the sweetest dreams
Like give it to me
And I can feel her tell me,
"My angel, this is wonderful Thanks for lettin me bless ya"
Come down, fly right, Drift back into heaven
Oh, oh, oh, oh I love it (I love it)You love it (you love it)
Everytime (everytime)We touchin' (we touchin')
I want it (I want it)You want it (you want it)
I'll see you (see you)In the mornin' (in the mornin')
Wanna put my fingers through your hair
Wrap me up in you, yeah
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryna put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock ya body, turn you over
Love is war, I'm your soldier
Touchin' you like it's our first time
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed
Watch the sunlight peak over the horizon
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
The sun ain't the only thing that's shinin'
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Now I'ma send you out into the world with my love
Tell everybody, Ay
Everybody Aay,
Ay-ay-ay, Aay, Ay-ay-ay, Aay, Ay-ay-ay, Ay
When the excruciating long song was done Justin swiveled around in the chair and looked at the two newcomers in the room and raised his eyebrows; I guess he wanted to see what we thought and Trace completely understood because the second he did that he voiced his opinions.
“That’s hot Jay. I can’t believe you laid that out in just a day, I think you just set a new record for yourself, huh?” It figured that’s the only thing he had to say; Trace isn’t much of a music connoisseur so everything Justin does is ‘hot’ to him. Justin looked in my direction and crossed his arms in front of him waiting for a response.
“It sucked. I hated it. It’s going to bomb if you put that on an album.” Everyone in the room snickered at the shocked face Justin had.
“Are you serious?”
“Yep. It was the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I thought ‘Gimme More’ was the worst thing you ever heard.” I had made a comment about his ex’s new single the week before that when I first heard it.
“Yeah well this takes the cake. You’re slacking Justin, maybe you need to take a break for a while. I’m shocked.” I grinned widely at him while everyone watched on at our mini argument that was escalating into a bigger one with each jab at his music.
“Can I speak to you outside for a minute?”
I got up and slammed the door shut and leaned against the nearest wall while I waited for him to join me outside. I heard a few murmurs come from the voices inside before the door swung open and Justin was standing shoulder to face (I’m not that tall) with me.
“I wrote that about us you know.” Yeah I couldn’t tell by the time the second verse came around.
“I’m aware.”
“And you really don’t like it Alana?” At that point I knew I was really getting to him by not liking the song from the way he asked me again.
“I do Justin, I’m just pissed off. What the hell did you call me for before that was so urgent?”
“This right here. I wanted Trace to bring you down here to hear it to see what you thought.”
“Is this supposed to be some sort of make up for you being an ass all week while Derek was here.”
“It’s not an apology by any means La, I’ve been wanting to write this for a while and it finally came out the way I wanted. I wanted to take you out later tonight if you were up to it so we can sort of get things back to where they need to be.”
“I’ve got dinner plans with Trace already.”
“Trace is going out with Jose who’s in town.”
“I guess we can go somewhere. But Trace and I should get going now since we’ve got groceries in the car. Don’t make it too late okay? I start work tomorrow.”
“Alright, let me just go get midget boy.”
In a matter of seconds Trace was walking out of the room and heading back down the stairs towards the car. When I was stepping on the stairs to follow after him I heard Justin call my name so I stopped so he could catch up to me. I started to ask him what he wanted but my question was answered when he engrossed me in a tight bear hug.
“I’m sorry for being a dick, okay? Don’t say anything, I just want you to know that I was acting really immature and it won’t happen again.” He let go and turned back around to head back into the studio to finish up.
I guess things weren’t as bad as I thought they were. I wasn’t really looking forward to dinner, but I wasn’t dreading it either. I just wanted my best friend back, and the only way to do that was to talk things out and set some new boundaries; the ones we had definitely weren’t working out for our relationship, or lack thereof. I planned to do that at dinner that night because I was tired of being second best to all of the girls he was starting to put before me.
