Three Weeks Later...

Thursday evening...

Communication Is Key

*Let's have a chat...*

"Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel. To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."

"Ok, ok, so I was just sitting with Yolanda at the hair salon minding my own business when this woman walks up to us gushing and all star struck. She was like, aren't you Yolanda Glenmore? And you're Jahzara her PA! It's so nice to meet you sweetie. Ha, ha, it was cute. I never felt so embarrassed in my life!" I beam, stuffing a fork full of pasta in my mouth.

"That's amazing girl, but I expected it sooner or later. I mean, Yolanda's single just came out a few days ago and it's on fire!" Jeremy grins, taking a sip of his wine.

Nodding my head in agreement, I take a sip of wine as well. Just so you know, Jeremy and I are out to dinner on one of the many dates we've been going on, for almost a month now.

After the incident in the studio with Justin over three weeks ago, I've moved on since then. I mean, I really did want him you know? I wanted to be with him. I think a part of me still does. But in all honestly, I'm terrified. I know the kind soul Justin can be; but I've seen so much of this roar, uncaring, unfazed, cocky side of him, I'm just scared that maybe he won't really change. Even if he tries to be nice to me, I can still see how difficult it is for him and how it takes so much out of him. I've realized he's all wrong for me. I know what you're thinking. I'm so stupid because it's Justin Timberlake, but I just don't feel like he can give me the stable, loving relationship I need. He has a crazy life. And, I think he was just looking for casual sex. I may not think much of myself, but I know I'm better than that. Plus, Jeremy on the other hand is a perfect candidate. I can look past his line of work. His schedule still won't be as chaotic as Justin's own. I need to stop comparing them though, this is wrong.

Anyway, the last few weeks have been hectic. I've been training with Johnny non stop, next week being my last. Yolanda has done a few club shows, we've been to a ton of interviews and even a few photos shoots. It's been a crazy few weeks, but surprisingly I'm enjoying it. And my new line of work is perfect. I get paid to boss Yolanda around. Well it's not really bossing around but...you know. She can be a handful sometimes and she's very stubborn when she has her mind set on what she wants, but I can handle her.

Also, Justin is back to just being his regular old self with me. He's not being an asshole or arrogant...just Justin I guess. We talk ok, we get along ok. Everything is on the surface with us again. He seems to be ok with Jeremy. I mean he even invited him over a few times to chill out with us and they went to a Lakers game with Trace a few nights ago. I'm glad they're getting along. Justin is really being a man in all this. Then again, I don't see why he would dwell on something as little as a physical attraction between us. He's successfully cured his ailment about two weeks ago, when he began bringing Jessica Beil around. Plus, they were spotted out on several occasions by the paparazzi. Yeah, I watch Access Hollywood and read the tabloids. It's good entertainment.

The point is, I thought that thing with him and her was over. But, he's a celebrity bachelor. I guess anything goes these days. I don't like her though...I think she's fake. But if that's what Justin wants then by all means he can have it. The funny part about all of this is, I think he might have popped a vein or blood vessel while on the phone with Mallory this week. She isn't taking too kindly to the ‘Timber-Beil' fling. I felt pity for him when I heard him yelling at her on the phone. But hey, it's not like Mallory has any claims over him. She needs to get over herself.

I've also been calling my brother every chance I get to give him the update on what's going on with me. I know he still has doubts about Jeremy, but he's just being protective. Jeremy is a sweetheart and he's my man now. Wow, my man. I like the sound of that...

"Hey girl, are you almost done?" Jeremy asks, nudging my arms lightly.

"Huh?"

"You spaced out for a while there. What's going through your mind?" He grins at me coyly.

"Oh just thinking about you." I smile back. Yeah among other things, but you don't need to know that.

"That's cute, but I'm right here girl. I'm sure we could make whatever fantasies a reality, don't you?" He inquires in a husky tone.

Oh, ok! I'm digging this. "You're crazy." I giggle causing him to chuckle as well.

"Well that dinner was amazing."

"Yeah it was. I enjoyed my pasta and shrimp scampi."

"So, are you ready to get out of here?" He extends his hands for me to take.

"Of course!" I smile, grabbing his hand at we stand.

Jeremy quickly signals the waiter over requesting the bill. When he gets it, he places some money in the small book as well as a tip before he leads me to the exit of the restaurant.

Tonight was an amazing night, but I'm really happy to be back at Justin's. I'm exhausted and need some shut eye.

After Trace buzzes us in, Jeremy drives up to the entrance of Justin's home, shutting off his metallic blue BMW before he looks over at me.

"Have I told you how amazing you look tonight in that long black dress?" He coos, leaning over to push some strands of hair out of my face.

"About a million times." I blush. I swear this man showers me with endless compliments.

"Well with good reason. I had a great time. I have some business to take care of tomorrow, so Justin is taking over Yolanda's workout for me. But, I'll be seeing you on Saturday for our surfing date. Deal?"

"I don't know too much about that Jer. I mean...I can't surf!" I squeal with excitement. Who am I kidding? I'll take any opportunity where he graces my body with his big masculine hands. Hmm, I wonder if he plays golf. You have to get real close and personal when teaching that sport.

"That's why I'm going to teach you. I'll have you like a pro when I'm done with you." He speaks confidently.

"Oh, I'm a little interested in knowing what else you could teach me Mr. Rowland." I coo as I lean forward placing a light kiss on his thick juicy lips. I swear the man is such a great kisser, but Justin is still ten times better though. Shit, what am I thinking? Stay focused Jahzara. Yeah, I can do this.

"Maybe a few things." He croaks out in between kisses and I smile as his hands find their way to my stomach.

Pulling away from our embrace, I plant another large one on his lips before I open the car door getting ready to exit. "Bye Jer. I'll miss you. See you on Saturday."

"Bye Z. I'll call ok? Take care now." He waves bye to me as I exit the ride shutting the door behind me.

Stepping back, I watch as he brings the car to life, honking on his way out of the estate. When he's out of sight, I release a sigh of contentment before I run up Justin's steps and swing the front door open.

As I walk further in, I hear what seems to be full blown laughter coming from the living room. Rounding the corner, I'm greeted by a red-faced Trace, some girl I've never seen before, a clutching his stomach while toppling over Justin, and her...miss Jessica Beil herself. I never liked her movies. I think she's played out and should retire.

"Oh Zar-bear hey!" Trace yells, standing from his sitting position and coming over to hug me tightly. In case you're lost, Trace and I have oddly enough become good friends over the last few weeks. He's a really cool guy to just hang out with and talk to. I've learnt a lot from him about being a PA and some interesting facts about Justin as well. Like when they were young, Justin would take his mother's sequence dresses and wrap them up around his little body while sliding across the floor in socks before he'd break out in one of those Michael Jackson dances, singing to the lyrics and everything! I thought that was embarrassing, hilarious and adorable all together.

"Hey Tracey-poo." I hug him back hearing him groan.

"I hate that nickname." He scoffs, releasing our embrace.

"I'm not too fond of mine either."

"Well I like it so it's staying."

"Fine then, mine's staying too." I stick out my tongue at him childishly.

We both exchange weird glances before we burst out into laugher. I think we have some strange ESP thing going on.

"So how was your date?" Trace asks, grabbing my hands and leading me over to their little foursome.

"Perfect as always." I reply and he nods in response. "Hey guys." I greet the other three persons sitting on the couch noting their questionable glares as they sit in silence, just watching my interaction with Trace.

"Fun night?" Justin inquires, barely making eye contact with me.

Glaring at him, I note how Jessica is all over him, rubbing her hands over his chest and fiddling with his newly forming curls. Get a room people!

"Yeah." I respond with a dreamy smile. "Anyway, I won't keep you all from whatever it is you're doing. I'm going to head up for the night." I turn to leave but Jessica's annoying voice stops me.

"So, you and Jeremy Rowland huh? Interesting. You know he's a celebrity in the world of fitness trainers? You got yourself quite a catch sweetie. Hold on to that one." She states in a mock condescending manner. Did anyone else see the venom spewing form her mouth? Would it be appropriate if I went over there and slapped that cheesy smile off her face in front of Justin? I'd really love to.

"Yeah he is. Don't worry I intend to." I give her a tight smile.

Turning to face Trace I shrug. "Night Trace." I voice as he shakes his head, giving me an apologetic stare.

Diverting my attention to Justin I realize that his attention is back on Jessica. I think he's forgotten I'm even in the room. No matter though, I'm out.

Not saying anything else, I quickly exit the living room, taking the steps by twos until I reach the hallway, walking briskly to my room. When I finally get in, I shut the door behind me heading straight into the bathroom to take a hot shower.

"What a night..." I sigh, as I disrobe myself, turning the shower handle to set the right temperature.

****

I agree that Jessica was out of line with the way she talked to Zara. It's almost like she was belittling her. I felt really bad about that but I didn't want to call Jessica out on it in front of everyone.

I did however, pull her to the side and told her that was uncalled for. She was judging Zara, I know she was. She even asked me what Jeremy could possibly see in her. But I didn't respond, because I have a pretty good idea what he sees in Zara. She's a very attractive woman and I'm sure Jessica is aware of that which is why she's behaving all insecure and shit.

Now I know why I don't want a Hollywood girlfriend anymore. And, Jessica isn't my girlfriend. We're just hanging out...and fucking. Ok, yeah I'm a dick, but the sex is still good. Plus, if I can't have Zara, I'll settle for Jessica. She doesn't need to know that though. But, I think I've done well and been very accepting of Jahzara and Jeremy's newly forming relationship. Yes, it was a little hard at first, but I bounce back easily. I'm cool with it.

Walking up to Zara's room after I told Jess to leave, I knock on the door lightly.

"Just a minute!" She replies and I wait patiently for her to open.

Seconds later, she swings the door open and my words remain stuck in my throat when I see her standing there in just a towel.

"Hey Justin. What's up?" She asks casually.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" I enquire, taking in her dripping curls and partly wet figure. Wow, my mind is swimming in corruption right now.

"No it's cool. Come on in." She moves aside for me to enter, and I'm a little skeptic about this, but my feet have a mind of their own.

Walking into the room, I cringe when I hear her slam the door shut. I instantly move over to a nearby chair, taking a seat as I scan my surroundings.

"Be right back." She tells me before she grabs some clothes off the bed and retreats into the bathroom.

Ok, now is the perfect time to be honest with you. I'm not really ok with this whole Jeremy thing. No one really knows that much about him. I've known him for a few years but not personally. I have no idea what he's like even though he's always polite and pleasant. I like the guy but, I just don't think he's right for her. Wait, let me rephrase that. I like him, but I think if given a chance I could be better for her. Yeah that's it. I don't know how, why or when it happened, but Trace was right. I do like Zara, and those feelings haven't disappeared like I hoped they would. Because, every time I see or talk to her, I'm reminded of how I love the feeling of her in my arms, the smoothness of her skin and her velvet lips against mine. But I'm respecting her wishes. I guess Jeremy has something I don't. Or maybe I was too late in noticing the shy, reserved woman that's been working for me for over a year now. I'm such a pathetic case.

"Alright, so what's going on?" Zara enquires, exiting the bathroom before she skips over to me hopping on the bed. I watch as she tugs on her black wife beater and grey cotton shorts. Well she seems to be in a happy mood.

"I just came to apologize for Jessica earlier. I'm sorry about that. Don't worry though I talked to her about it." I explain.

"It's cool Ju. No harm done." She smiles warmly for me. "Is that all you wanted?"

No, that's not all I want. I want you too, but for whatever reason unbeknownst to me, you won't let me have you. But, I can wait though. "Yeah, yeah...sure. Since she didn't do any verbal damage I better leave. If I could, I would have gotten her to apologize herself, but that wasn't happening so..." I drift off as I stand to exit her room.

"Really Justin, I'm ok. Thanks though. That was sweet of you."

Nodding, I begin walking to the door but Zara jumps up and stops me.

"Hey! You don't have to leave just yet. I wasn't going to sleep or anything. I was just maybe going to read a book. We could hang." She suggests, pulling me over to the bed. "Sit, let's talk."

Talk? She wants to talk? What's that about? What type of conversation could we possibly have in here, alone, in a room, on a bed....ok, I'm getting ideas. If talking involves tossing articles of clothing across the floor while we communicate telepathically, I'm all up for it.

"What could we possibly have to converse about right now?" I ask feeling a bit perplexed. What has gotten into her?

"I don't know. I feel like we started off on a bad note. I mean, I really like you Justin. You're a good guy."

Stab me now, because this is like a breakup speech and we aren't even together.

"And, I'd really like it if we could get to know each other better and be friends and not think of each other as just business associates. I mean, I know that's how it's always been, but I don't know. Maybe we can find a way to get past that." She's staring at me with hopeful eyes, but what am I supposed to say to that?

"Ok..." I choke out. I really don't know what she expects from me.

"I know a lot has happened between us and I'm sorry if I was ever a bitch to you. I just want to wipe the slate clean so we can genuinely be on good terms with no harbored feelings."

Oh ok, I get it now. Is that her guilty side talking? No, no I think she's being sincere but, I don't want to be her friend. What the fuck kind of title is that? Ok, I'd love to be her friend. But not a friend with whom she shares all the gory details of her love and sex life. I'll pass on that.

"I...I don't know what to say. There are no hard feelings." I finally voice.

"Just say you'll give it some thought." She suggests, as I begin to observe her carefully. I think she's trying to tell me something.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I shrug. I don't fathom where this discussion is heading. Why lie to her and myself? "I can't...I mean I won't." I snap.

"What?" She inquires frowning at me.

"Zara, I don't know how truthful you think I'm going to be right now, but I can't just ignore my feelings towards you. I can put them on hold, but I'm not going to ignore them like everything is straight between us when it's not." Shut the fuck up Timberlake! Ah, you stupid asshole. Why did you say that? I'm so dumb.

"Excuse me?" She scoots away from me, and a look of insult flashes in her eyes. Just great. Me and my big mouth.

Sighing, I take in a deep breath. "Answer me this Z. Why don't you want things to go further between us?" Someone please tell me why I'm asking such a ludicrous question. I don't want her in that way. At least I don't think I do. I'm confused.

"Wh...What? I thought we got past that." Her gaze is unrelenting with intensity.

"We have, but that Jeremy excuse is weak. Besides, you barely know anything about him. Are you afraid of me?" I probe, closing the gap between us.

"I...I...you want the truth Justin?" She laments, surrendering.

"Please." I respond a little too quickly.

****

Why is he putting me on the spot like this? What do I tell him? Maybe, if I want us to be friends, it requires me being honest with him. Yeah, honesty is the best policy right? But how can I tell him the way I feel if it's only going to make things more awkward between us? I was trying for us to start afresh not make things more complicated. But, I guess he deserves to know something. Well, here goes nothing...

"Ok Justin, you're right. I'm a little afraid of you but that's not the issue." I begin.

"You're afraid of me?" He enquires looking at me stunned.

"Just, the issue is, as much as I'd love for this attraction we have to grow into something more, it can't." I try to explain. He's making this difficult with the way he's just sitting there, staring at me with those big gorgeous blues.

"Is there more to this explanation?" He probes.

"Well, ok Justin, I'm going to set the record straight with you. Let's say I was considering being with you. I don't think we'd work simply from the type of person I know I am, and the type of person you portray, because I only know what I see when it comes to you. Also, I can almost bet, the public and your fans would have a field day with me, critiquing and commenting on every aspect of my life as well as my looks. I'm not strong enough to deal with that. And finally, I'm with Jeremy now; I'd really like to give that a try. I don't want to throw away a good guy." I inhale deeply at the end of my speech, trying to clear my nerves.

"Please don't think I'm being heartless or cold towards you." I continue when he remains quiet.

"That's the understatement of the year." He grumbles under his breath.

"Justin, I never thought in my wildest dreams that I'd even voice what I just said. I thought it would always be you telling me, or giving an excuse why I barely existed to you." Wow, there's a twinkle in his eyes as he cocks his head to the side furrowing his brows at me. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"Really? So, that means you're just scared. You're shocked that I'm showing interest in you? Because I'm still trying to figure this out myself." He explains, our shoulders now touching at how close we're sitting. This little honesty chat is taking a toll on me.

"Yes." I admit, not knowing how else to answer those questions.

"Interesting. But I still don't like this Jeremy thing." He states, as he plays with the stubble under his chin in thought.

"Well," He says suddenly standing up. "I'm going to turn in. It was a nice chat, thanks. Maybe next time we can actually work on getting to know each other some."

Wait! Hold on! What just happened? That's not the response I was looking for! I was sort of looking for him to say why I should maybe dump Jeremy and give him a chance. Ahhh! He's so confusing!

"Uh, ok?" I reply weakly.

****

I've changed; I've become soft and I allow my emotions to control me. And the reason I've changed is because of Jahzara. I had to break down my sturdy, ‘I-don't-take-your-shit' demeanor to be able to deal with her. Because well, she's fragile to a certain extent. But since she's focused on ‘gym boy', I really don't have to care anymore or watch what I say and how I talk to her. I'm not going to be a jerk, but I'm not going to be pseudo-sensitive either. I'm just going to let her do her thing. Besides, she's got Yolanda to worry about.

I guess I really was going through a phase of some sorts. I'm glad it's more less over. That little conversation helped me to realize a few things. Like never trust a creature that can bleed for five to seven days once every month and not die. Ha!

"I'm going to turn in early. Night Z." I voice as she stands to face me. So, I still think she's beautiful, thick and curvaceous, which is a spin from the women I've dated recently. But I'm not about to admit that vocally. And, I'm definitely falling in love with those bright hazel eyes, but, that doesn't mean anything. I'm perfectly unaffected by my employee.

"Ok Justin. Sleep well." She gives me a light hug and smiles sweetly at me.

"You too." I lean forward and place a soft kiss on her cheek, lingering there a few seconds longer than necessary, taking in her fruity scent. "Strawberries!" I suddenly shout as realization hits when I pull away from her.

"What?" She inquires quizzically.

Oh, I said that out loud? Shit. Looking down at her we lock eyes briefly and I give her a shy grin. "You smell like strawberries. Nice choice."

"Uh...yeah...thanks...and?" She lifts her hands, signaling for me to elaborate.

"Nothing, I like it." I smile as I back up to the door, swinging it open.

Stepping into the hallway, I notice that she's still standing in the same spot just glaring at me. She must be fighting to figure out the reason for my sudden outburst. Well, she doesn't need to know that I've been racking my brain, trying to identify her sent for some time now. I'm glad that mystery is solved though.

A sly grin creeps unto my features as a thought passes through my mind. Before I shut the door, leaving her alone for the night, I wink before I say. "Sweet dreams berry."

Taking in her shocked expression, as her mouth hangs open from the new nickname I've given her, I begin to chuckle shaking my head with amusement. It's not long before she bursts into a fit of giggles and I use that as my cue to quietly shut the door, deciding to wait for her response to my little statement in the morning.

****

Quotes by: Ralph Emerson & Anthony Robbins