Next Day...

Late Saturday Morning...

Justin's P.O.V

Painful Strides

"Love is a feeling that brings both joy and pain to one's heart. Joy from being with that person, being filled with an emotion so deep and tender that no other feeling can compare. And, pain from knowing that you're so in love, that you're more vulnerable than you've ever been before."

"Shit!" I hiss, rubbing at my temples while I amble into my kitchen. Swinging open the refrigerator door, I pull out a bottle of water twisting the cap off. Taking a few large gulps, I sigh with content as the cool liquid slides down my throat. Looking out the glass doors into my yard, I can see Buckley and Brennan basking in the sun. It must really be easy to be a dog. They really have it made. Smiling at them, I take another gulp of water to clear my dry throat.

"Rough night eh?"

Nearly choking on the substance, I wipe at my mouth before I turn around to see Trace sitting on the dinning table staring at me intently.

Scratching at my bare chest I turn away from him. "Yeah, whatever." I mumble under my breath.

"I'm betting I don't have to talk to you about what happened. I'm sure you feel bad enough already as it is. But Zara didn't come home last night and Jeremy has been calling here non stop. He's pissed at you. He doesn't know anything, but he wants to know what happened between you two last night..."

"Just shut up Trace! Damn it! And what do you mean berry didn't come home last night?" I think that information woke me up completely. She never came home? And she clearly wasn't with Jeremy. So where the hell is she? I know this is my entire fault and I feel terrible. But no one understands the battle I'm having within myself over this whole situation.

"You heard me Justin. I'm worried about her you know? I tried her cell but she must have it off. We have no clue where she could be or if she's ok. You know if you all sat without fighting for once, you'd get to see what an amazing person Zara really is and know she doesn't deserve this treatment. You've really done it this time man. What would Lynn say if she knew?" Trace shakes his head at me and I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

"Oh, so you're angry with me too? Whose friend are you?" I snarl at him. He's not doing this to me right now. I won't have it. I know Zara is amazing. Why do you think I feel like shit? I haven't spoken to my mom in a while. She'd be disappointed in me. I know she would. Speaking of, I really need to give her a call.

"I'm your friend Justin. That's why I have to talk some sense into your stubborn ass. I told you this shit would bite you in the ass. But I'm Jahzara's friend too." He explains and I glower at him.

"What do you want me to do? Go looking for her?" I argue.

"That won't be necessary." Comes an all too familiar weak voice.

Turning my head to the entrance of my kitchen I feel my breath catch in my throat. My heartbeat instantly increases and the regret I had when I woke up this morning with a massive hangover is back.

"Berry I..." She cuts me off by raising her hands in the air.

"Don't fucking talk to me." She snaps, gazing directly into my eyes.

Oh my god, she looks horrible. Her eyes are cherry red. I think she was maybe crying whole night or something. Shit, and it's my fault. How am I going to fix this? I can't believe I said those things to her. Way to go Timberlake. I actually wish I could kick my own ass. That's how terrible I feel. I can't be angry with Trace. He's right. Everything he said was true. He's just being a good friend.

I can't approach her. I can't do anything really. I'm afraid she'd hit me again if I got too close. That woman has a powerful fucking swing. My jaw is still hurting from last night, but I'm guessing I deserved it. But shit, if she swings like that, how would Malcolm's punches feel? I can just picture him beating on me for hurting his baby sister. That's not a pretty sight. Shuddering at the thought, I remain quiet as I watch Trace walk over to Zara, engulfing her in a hug.

I hate this so much right now. That should be me. Jeremy should be the one to fuck up not me. I should be the one to console her. Damn it! I'm so fucking stupid. Why do I even care? What's really happening to me here?

"Zar-bear, I was so worried about you! How are you? Where were you? Girl you gave us all a scar." Trace rambles stroking her back soothingly.

There really isn't much more I can take. I want this entire situation solved! And I want it solved now!

"I'm fine Tracey-poo." She lets out a light giggle, hugging him back. Do they even care that I'm still in the room?

"I suddenly love that nickname." Trace chuckles, pulling back to look at her and pushing some strands of hair out of her face. I guess they don't care that I'm here. But you know I've fucking lost it if I feel jealous just because Trace is all nice with her and I'm not.

"Listen. I'm just going to grab something to drink then head upstairs to pack." She explains. Hold the fuck up! Did she say pack? Pack what?

"Are you going somewhere?" I inquire, stepping back when she cuts her eyes at me.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes. I'm leaving." She states firmly.

"What? Berry I'm sorry about everything ok? I was high and confused and I just lashed out at you. I honestly didn't mean a word of what I said. Please believe me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm an asshole. I'm a jerk. I know I am. And I'll apologize forever and I know it won't be enough but I'll still do it. I'll make it up to you I promise. Just...don't leave. Don't go back to Florida. We still have three weeks to go and..."

She cuts me off with a fake, tired laugh. She looks like she's on the verge of passing out. "I'm not going home back to Florida Justin. I have a responsibility. I'm not going to abandon my job just because my boss is an inconsiderate dickhead."

"Uh, ok, I deserved that but why won't you accept my apology? I really am sorry berry." I take a step towards her and she instantly freezes up.

"Take one more step and all hell is going to break loose." She warns. I believe her so I stand still. Besides, she's standing right next to the cutlery. With the hatred she has in her eyes, I won't put murder past her. Women are crazy when their emotions are out of control.

"I'll just head out and leave you two to settle this." Trace voices and I actually forgot he was there. Walking past me, he whispers something in my ears before he leaves. "Why don't you just be honest with the both of you and tell her how you really feel." He states, causing me to furrow my brows at him. How I really feel? I don't even know what that man is talking about. He's supposed to be my best friend for years and I feel like he doesn't even know me sometimes.

I don't get a chance to respond because he's already out the kitchen and out of eye sight.

Looking back at berry, she's digging through the contents of the fridge. Sighing, and swallowing my pride, I decide to be the bigger man for once in my life. This is going to be hard. I've never attempted what I'm about to do. But it needs to be done.

"Berry, I don't want you to leave. Where are you going anyway?" I begin.

Pulling out a carton of apple juice, she keeps her back to me as she searches for a glass.

"Top right cabinet." I state, helping her with her search.

She mutters a ‘thanks' instantly finding the item, but doesn't respond to my question.

"Berry?" I ask again, gaining some confidence to walk up to her and touch her shoulders lightly.

She gasps from the contact and the glass nearly falls from her hand, but I'm quick and I catch it. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I can't move. I just...she's killing me. I'm so sorry. Words will never express how sorry I am for hurting her the way I'm sure I did. She already has self-image and esteem issues. I just made it worse. God, I maybe killed all the self confidence she has left. I'm never going to be forgiven am I? I really hope she does forgive me.

Looking down at her, I've noticed she's not moving. She's breathing heavily though. I can actually hear her breaths. I should move. But, she's pressed up against my kitchen counter and my body is firmly resting against her back. I know we're too close. She hates me right now. But, I don't hate her. I...I...well, I don't hate her.

"Back off Justin." She strains out through light gasps.

"I...look berry, please I'm trying. I'm trying to make things right between us."

Flipping around, she's now facing me though I haven't budged. I'm wondering how she managed to turn with such little space between us but she did. Lifting her head to stare at me, she sighs heavily.

"You hurt me Justin. I can't forgive you for the things you said. Not when the wounds are still so fresh."

I knew it wouldn't be that easy but Jesus! I'm seriously dying here. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend like she has no effect on me. It's murdering me. It's taunting and drilling at my insides...at my emotions.

"I know. God I know. I wish I could turn back time but I can't. I was a humungous asshole but I can't change that. Shit, I was so stupid and retarded and a prick, and a self-absorbed dickhead, and a moron, and a buffoon and a jerk. A big fucking jerk that deserves to be shot for the things I've said to you. I mean, I was really arrogant and cocky and heartless...feel free to stop me at any time berry. I mean it's no problem if you want to stop me." I state, receiving a light smile from her. God, I love that smile. She has an amazing smile. Wait she's smiling? Does that mean we're making progress?

"No, you're doing fine. Keep going. We've got a whole dictionary to cover." She giggles and I actually breathe a sigh of relief.

"Does that mean you'll give me a chance to make it up to you? I honestly am sorry. I can't say that enough. Shit, berry I didn't mean any of those things I said. I was just frustrated, and tired and hurt. I guess I wanted you to hurt too. I don't know." I admit. This confession is taking a lot out of me. Who knew being honest was so difficult? No wonder people lie so much.

"I can let you make it up to me. But I don't know about anything else right now. I need some time to think so I'm just going to leave." She explains.

"Ok, I can respect that. But leave to go where exactly?" I enquire yet again.

"I'm going to stay with Jeremy for the remainder of our time in LA. It's only logical since he's my boyfriend. Besides, you and I aren't exactly getting along..."

And I just tuned her out. Jeremy? Are you fucking kidding me? Why? I don't want her to stay with him! I'll never get to see her if that happens. Why do I care?! Why do I always fucking care?!

"Justin are you even listening to me?" She pokes at my chest and I bend my head to look at her.

"What? Oh yeah! Jeremy. Why though? Do you hate me that much that you can't stay in the same house with me? I'll stay out of your way if that's what you want." I really don't want her to do this. Please don't do this to me. I feel bad enough as it is.

"No. I thought I hated you. I honestly did, but I've had hours to think about it. And I've realized that we're not healthy for each other. The distance would do us some good. I mean we are going to be spending a lot of time together when Yolanda starts getting busy. I just need...I don't know. I need to go...away...from you." She begins fiddling with her nails and for the first time, I get a slight dose of my own medicine. So that's what it feels like when someone stings you with their words? Holy shit! I'm actually hurt by that statement. She can't even handle being around me anymore. Wow.

"Zara I..."

"It's ok Justin. It's cool. Really it is. I thought I'd be angry and never want to talk or see you again, but I can cope. I've dealt with these things my whole life. What's one more time huh?"

I feel terrible again. She's associating what I said to her with the people who've belittled her, her entire life. I really feel like shit right now.

"No Berry. Don't do this. I don't want you to leave." I plead. How pathetic am I? I don't care right now though.

"Why? Huh? Why can't I go? It's not like we're together Justin. Damn it, it's not like..." She trails off swallowing harshly. "It's not like we're in love or anything like that. So why can't I leave?"

"I just. I don't want you to go alright. Please don't. Give me a chance to show you how much I'm sorry first." I'm begging here. I never, ever, ever beg. But I'm groveling all because of Zara. Again I ask myself why? Raising my hand to touch her cheek lightly she shuts her eyes momentarily. "Why can't you feel it? Why don't you see it berry?" I ask, shocking myself in the process. What the fuck am I saying? I think aliens just took over my brain. Yeah that's it!

"What?" She breathes out, leaning into my touch.

"This. Everything. Nothing. I don't know. This...attraction. It's so strong. It makes us do and say crazy things around each other." I try to explain but it's difficult. I honestly have no control over my brain right now. It's malfunctioning.

"I...I don't know Justin. We argue all the time. I'm not sure anymore." She retorts, pushing at my bare chest so she can move out of her little trap. We've been standing here glued to my kitchen counter for the past how many minutes. I'm not letting her go that easily.

"Where were you last night?" I inquire.

"It's none of your..." She trails off when my hands begin rubbing up and down her bare shoulders.

"Are you cold? You have goose bumps." I examine her light brown hands, wondering how her skin is able to be so velvety soft.

"Not cold." She chokes out, breathing deeply.

"Ok, so where were you?"

"Out." She replies flatly.

"Out where?" I probe, studying her facial expressions. I think she's spacing out again.

"The beach." She mutters, shutting her eyes tightly.

"What? By yourself? That's not safe berry." Was she looking to get raped or something?

"I know but I needed to think." She responds, licking at her sweet lips. Please don't do this to me. I'm trying my best not to think about sex when it comes to her. It always leads to bad things. But god, she's still in her dress from last night. It's a tight red dress. It's hugging her in all the right places. She's not fat at all! How could I have said such a thing? The woman is strikingly gorgeous. From her curly black hair, to her bright hazel eyes, to her long succulent legs and tight firm ass. Fuck! I can feel my dick twitch just thinking about what she looks like naked and in all her glory. I want her. I want her so fucking bad!

I can't deny it anymore! I fucking want her and I want to be all up inside of her making her scream my name. How did we get here? How did we get so fucked up?

Resting our foreheads together I inhale deeply. I won't let rapture overpower me. I'm stronger than that...I think. Even after all these hours I can still smell her faint strawberry sent. "Berry, I'm sorry. And I understand your wishes. But please don't go. Not to him." I whisper against her skin.

"Why are you so jealous of Jeremy?" She queries causing me to tense a bit.

"I'm not. I just don't think he's right for you."

"Why, because you are? We barely get along Justin."

"I can change that."

"I think it's too late for that."

No it's not. It's never too late to make a change. She just doesn't realize it. "It's not too late berry..."

"Just move so I can go pack ok?" She places her palms on my bare chest and I grown, shivering from the contact of her cold hands on my bare skin.

Yanking her hands away she blushes. "Sorry." She mutters and I shake my head in protest.

"No...it's...it's fine. Your hands were just cold." I growl in a raspy whisper. I fucking want her so fucking bad right now! We're seriously screwed in the head.

"Ok, but Justin seriously. We've been here really long. I need to go..."

"No! Don't do this Zara. I can't fucking deal with seeing you two together so cozy for comfort. It's fucking driving me insane!" I belt. Wow! Where did that come from? Do I really feel like that? I'm not sure.

She's stunned. She's staring at me wide eyed and I take advantage of the situation to finally back away from her so our bodies aren't touching.

"Are you shitting me? You're lying right? You have to be. This isn't happening." She shakes her head pitifully.

"No. I'm not. You have no fucking idea Zara! Damn it! I just..." Well here goes nothing. "I just fucking want you ok? OK? I don't mean what I say. It's just built up tension because you won't let me have you! Why? Why won't you let me have you?" Way to go Justin. Way to complicate the situation even more. I really need to learn how to shut my big mouth.

"Oh my god!" She claps her hands to her mouth, just glaring at me. Removing her hands, she drops them to her sides but she's still just glaring.

"Shit. I mean...I...well. Damn it!" I growl, stepping up to her and pulling her against me. "I won't do this anymore Jahzara. I don't know what you're feeling, but I won't put up with this anymore." My hands are firmly around her waist and I think she's lost her commonsense because she's grinning at me. Why the fuck is she grinning like an idiot? I thought she hated me. I thought she never wanted to forgive me.

"What are you saying Justin? Are you saying you have feelings for me?" She has a cute glow in her eyes and her anger seems to almost dissipate into thin air. Why do these women always throw me for a loop like that?

"What? No! I just...No! We're not on those levels. I'm just saying I'm attracted to you that's all." I say nervously.

"Oh," She voices with dejection. "Well, I should go then." She replies wearily, removing my hands from her body.

No! NO! NO! I don't want her to go. Why can't I just let her go!?

She's walking away from me. She, she's almost out the kitchen. And I'm just standing there, like an idiot. Fuck me!

"Berry hold on..." I call out to her, following to where she's standing at the bottom of the stairway. She turns around to face me and I swallow all doubt and fear I have and I instantly cup her cheeks, leaning down to capture her lips with mine.

I know this is what got us here in this situation in the first place. But I've wanted to kiss her again since the night we almost had sex. God I've been craving this again. She really is unhealthy for me. But I don't care. I fucking love this. She's not responding. Why isn't she resp...ok scratch that. She just sucked in my lips like a damn vacuum. Again, I believe she is into kinky stuff. God I wish I could find out if that was true. I can't let her go back to Jeremy. I just...I can't. She instantly wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me against her body. Smiling slightly, I massage her cheek as our tongues continue to battle. Shit, she's sweet. So sweet, so soft. I fucking despise how I've treated her. She never deserved it. It's probably going to take a lifetime to make it up to her.

Hearing her small moan sends goose bumps down my body. Oh wow, now I know why she had goose bumps earlier. You'd have to be blind to not see the fire burning between us when we're close. Shit, so why do we constantly do this? Why do we always screw everything up? "Mmm...berry." I force through kisses, slicking my hand into her soft curls. I'd love passing my hand through her hair every morning when I wake up and seeing those big bright hazel orbs staring back at me.

"What?" She breathes out, massaging my bare sides, causing me to shudder. Her touch is seriously mesmerizing. I'm a little scared that she can touch me like that and send me on overdrive. No woman has been able to do that before.

"Don't go..." I mumble against her lips, sliding my hands down to her side. "I...I'm sorry. Please just stay...with me." I plead, growling when her leg grazes my inner thigh. This is the one time I wish that I wasn't only wearing boxers. You can't conceal anything with just boxers on.

"I can't..." She mutters, still keeping her suction on me as we continue to kiss feverishly. I'm this fucking close to exploding. I can't take this much longer. I seriously want her...right now. Right this very second.

"Ber...not again. Please don't do...this again." What the fuck am I really saying? I can't believe my thoughts are being rattled like that. Shit, what the fuck is she doing to me? When did I allow her to have this much power over me? I do not like this at all.

"I can't stay Justin!" She whines, forcefully breaking our lip-lock. Heaving, she's just staring at me. "I can't stay. Not until I figure this all out." She licks at her swollen lips and so do I.

"What? What is there to figure out!" I ask feeling frustrated that we had to stop...again! I'm really on the verge of just saying fuck it and literally stripping her naked and taking her right there, right now. I don't give a fuck who's there or who sees. My mind is clouded over with lust and I'm not even listening to her right now. Her breasts are just taunting me...poking out in her dress begging to be played with. Begging to be sucked. I could do that. I could definitely do that.

"Justin?!" She pushes at my shoulder and I finally lock eyes with her.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"You heard nothing I said did you?"

"No." I reply sheepishly.

"I said I'm going. I can't do this anymore. I can't be lying to Jer anymore. I need to find out if our relationship can work." She explains and I frown.

"We're back to this again?!"

"Just shut up Justin. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing when I'm around you. I just need out, to clear my mind. I can't even believe we just kissed again. It's like something takes over my brain."

She sounds like me now. I can just picture little green men in my head having a blast with dominating my regular functions. I'm seriously fucked. "But ber..."

"Save it ok? Just...forget about everything. I'll be back." She quickly ends the conversation, sprinting up the stairs and disappearing down the hallway.

Taking a seat on my stairs I breathe heavily. There really is nothing I can do. Her body is the only thing responding to me right now. It's just the attraction between us. Her mind is elsewhere...And, I'm pretty sure her heart is elsewhere. And again, I feel terrible for everything I've done. This is my fault. I have no one to blame but myself. How did I get here? How did I get so infatuated with my employee that I can't think straight? That's not like me at all.

------------

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here and I'm beginning to feel a chill with my back exposed like this, but all that is forgotten when I see Zara coming down the stairs with her suitcase. She changed her clothes too. She has on some tight T that stops just above her navel ring and a pair of long jeans. Damn it, I'm never going to play with that ring am I? I really want to though. It's really hot. This is really happening huh? She's leaving to be with Jeremy. It's my fucking fault and I can't stop her. I can't make her do something she doesn't want to do.

Standing, I rub my hands over my chest then face. I'm still a little buzzed from last night because I drank a lot. This hang over is going to have me lazing around whole day. And to think she was the initial drive that led me to drown my sorrows in liquor. Fate is a fucked up thing.

"You're really going aren't you?" I inquire, hoping she'd change her mind.

Looking at me downhearted she shakes her head yes. "Yeah, Jeremy is here, could you buzz him in?"

"Yeah sure." I respond sadly. I can't fight her on this. Why can't I fight her on this? I don't want her to fucking leave. Doing as she requested, I walk back over to her.

"I guess I'll see you around then." I reply.

"Justin, I'm not going away to another continent forever. I'm just going by Jeremy. I'll see you all every time Yolanda has something scheduled and I'll definitely be at the VMA's. Are you forgetting I'm going to be working for you too? You're acting like you've lost me or I'll be gone forever. Just...don't worry about it. It's what's best..." She trails off when we hear a loud honk from outside. That must be good ole ‘gym boy'. I really can't hate him. He's done nothing wrong. Maybe he's what she needs. I know I'm too screwed up in the head right now to think otherwise.

But she's wrong you know. I am going to lose her. She will be gone forever. He'll have her. He'll be able to be with her in a way I'll never be able to. He'll have her affection, not me. And you know what? It's all my fucking fault. But why do I care!?

"Ok, that's Jer. I'll see you all some time next week for Yolanda's radio interviews ok?"

Nodding my head, I refrain from making any eye contact with her. Would she just leave already! Damn it! Why prolong the inevitable?

Sighing, she drops her bags and engulfs me in a hug. "Bye Justin." But I don't respond or hug her back. I just want her to leave so I can get back to my life. "Don't over work Yolanda too much ok?"

"Yeah fine." I mumble, pushing her away from me lightly.

"I'll miss you." She coos, hearing another honk outside.

"You should go." I try to push her off me but she's still holding me tightly. I thought she wanted to leave. What's her deal?

Kissing me on my cheek she finally whispers something in my ears I never thought I'd hear her say. "I forgive you Ju. So, don't worry about it ok?" She says, her breath tickling the outlining of my ears.

Finally pulling away from me, she's searching my eyes for a reaction. How do I react to that? How could she forgive me so easily? I'm just shocked a bit. I can't really speak. I don't know what to say exactly.

When she realizes I'm not responding, she shrugs and grabs her suitcase, swinging the door open. I glance outside and notice Jeremy's blue metallic BMW. Then I hear him call out to her, and just like that the door slams shut, and I'm left alone, standing here, trying to make sense of all these fucked up emotions I'm feeling right now.

It's not long before I hear Jeremy's car come to life and pull out of my driveway. And I'm still in the same spot, watching the wooden barrier. She just...she just walked out of my life. She just...she made her peace with me. She's his now. He's going to have her full attention now. I can't compete with that! How am I going to be able to be around her now? Maybe she should quit. But I know she won't and I won't fire her.

And this is me, feeling like shit again. I should be ecstatic that she forgave me so easily, but I sort of wished it wouldn't be that simple.

"Jay..." Trace calls out to me and I turn to glare at him.

"What the fuck do you want now?" I snap at him furiously. I'm mad. I'm angry. I need that fucking vacation!

"You're crying." He points out and I shake my head in protest. Is this bitch high? I don't cry. I never fucking cry. Justin Timberlake does not fucking cry! I'm no pussy.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I scowl.

"Well, if a few single tears constitute as crying then you are." He enforces. "She'll be back. Don't worry. It's only a matter of time before she realizes how she feels about you."

"Just shut the fuck up Trace! I don't need to hear this now! I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when the sun goes down and keep that shrew Mallory away from me! Can you do that simple request?" I sneer.

Shaking his head in agreement I brush past him and stomp up the stairs. I don't miss the pity on his face. He thinks I'm pathetic, but I don't blame him. I feel the same fucking way.

I can't believe I've reached a point where a woman...who isn't even mine to begin with...has this much effect on me. I'm a fucking psychotic freak. Maybe I am developing gynophobia.

Entering my bedroom, I slam the door shut mumbling profanities on my way to the bathroom. I'm acting like I'll never see her again. I'm going to see her next week. But, I know it's not going to be the same. Nothing is ever going to be the same again. Maybe that's a good thing considering how messed up things were before. But damn it all! Damn it all to fucking hell! I don't want Zara with Jeremy! I fucking don't! I can't stand to see those two together. I'll rip my fucking eyes out if I have to.

Glaring at the mirror my eyes widen in shock.

"What the fuck?"

Touching my eyes I realize Trace was right.

"Oh hell na! This is fucking ridiculous."

I was crying? When? I didn't feel anything. I was practically numb to it. No, no...maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I...Maybe I yawned and wasn't aware. I don't cry! I don't ever fucking cry! And over what? Jahzara? Give me a fucking break. She doesn't have that much of an effect on me.

But then I turn to the side and I can see the imprint of her lipstick where she kissed me on my cheek. It's strawberry red and it smells like the fruit too!

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I mutter, dropping my boxers and turning on the shower. Placing the temperature on cold, I push the glass doors aside and step into the bath instantly standing under the cold running water. I shiver a bit, then tremble from the cold impact but I soon relax my muscles as I allow the water to beat on my back.

Gripping my head lightly, I can still feel the massive headache I woke up with this morning. Get a grip Justin. Get a hold of yourself. Everything is going to be fine. It's just one female. Just another fucking woman. It's nothing. It's really nothing. She'll be out of your life before you know it.

Who am I kidding? Zara isn't just another female. She's berry. She's my sweet strawberry. This is going to be a painful path I have to tread to get her out of my system.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I forcefully will away my endless thoughts. I'll not let this get the best of me. I'm stronger than that...or am I?

"Shit!"

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