Two days later...Thursday...

A Step Back...?

"The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful."

"How can you tell me not to go to my damn job? Are you insane?" I growl angrily before fixing my work attire which consists of a simple knee length black skirt and a red silk blouse.

"Since when did you think it was ok to talk to me like that Zary?" Hurt flickers through his orbs before his hard stare returns.

"Oh get over yourself Malcolm. Since I came home yesterday you've been on my case about Justin. So people took out pictures of us, so it's on every fucking tabloid magazine. So what!? It doesn't mean anything." I lie even though I'm irate right now; setting my brother at ease is the most important thing.

Folding his arms across his chest, he leans against the kitchen counter in our shared apartment just studying me intently. "I'm not stupid. And how do you think his employees are going to treat you at work with what those magazines said about you two huh? You don't deserve that Zary." His tone softens slightly but I can still see how angry he is shining through those browns.

Sighing, I walk up to him, placing my palm gently on his shoulder before holding his gaze. "Malky, I love you. And I know you love me and you care and you're only looking out for me. But I'm fine and I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself." I admit.

"No, no you can't. If you could you wouldn't be making these huge mistakes." He groans lowly and I can see his temper rising again as he continues to examine me.

I hate that he's a cop. He was trained well to look for the truth past simple words but he's still my brother and I know him.

"They're my mistakes to make..." but he cuts me off.

"No Jahzara! They are not! Don't you think you've been through enough!?" He screams out boisterously before slapping my hand away so I can't touch him anymore. "Justin doesn't know shit! I'm sure you haven't told him everything. Even I don't know everything. But he wasn't there. He wasn't there when I had to watch you come home day in and day out trying to hide those fucking bruises when those kids would wail on you back in school. He wasn't there when I had to struggle to take care of us because our aunt is a heartless bitch and I loved you and knew that without mom and dad, we were all each other had. He wasn't there in your depression state because all the tormenting you had to endure was too much to bear."

"How can you not care now that you're an open book to the world? They'll eat you up and spit you out. How are you so sure that Justin will always be around for you? He's a celebrity Zary. Those people live fucked up lives and have warped minds." He pauses briefly, breaking eye contact with me as he shifts around to grab a mug so he can pour himself a cup of coffee.

I'm just standing there in awe watching my big, tough cop brother slowly lose his composure in front of me. It's kind of heartbreaking because Malcolm is not one to have these moments ever. "He wasn't there when Christian destroyed you to the point where you fucking tried to kill yourself. I could have lost you. I'm not going to let that happen again." He whispers this softly but I catch it and I can feel the air hitch in my throat because I haven't thought about that in years. In fact, I forgot about it, completely.

I never told anyone. But me trying to commit suicide is what led Malcolm over to Christian to beat the shit out of him after I caught him cheating. Christian never knew that either. No one knew except Malcolm and now that he's reliving that time in our lives when he nearly lost me because I was being so stupid, I know he's more than worried again that something like that is going to repeat itself. He thinks that Justin is going to break me and that I won't be strong enough to deal. He's wrong though. I know Justin would never do that to me. Ju loves me, he'd never hurt me like that and I hope that I never hurt him in that way either.

Turning around to face me, Malcolm hands me the cup of coffee he poured knowing my early mornings are never complete without my caffeine addiction. Thanking him, I take a sip of the hot, steaming dark substance. Sighing in relief, my hazels meet his browns over the rim of the cup before I pull it away from my lips.

"I'll be fine Malky." I try to reassure him but he's not convinced.

"No you won't. So, stop lying to me and to yourself. I just hope you know what you're doing." He sighs exasperatingly.

"Please just promise me you won't try anything crazy and try to hurt Justin." I say firmly. When he doesn't answer I scoff. "Promise me Malky!"

"I'm not making that promise to you. If he hurts you I'll be sure to send him to the morgue." He says stubbornly.

"You will do no such thing." I scold before finishing up my cup of coffee and placing it down in the sink.

"Then he better not hurt you and make sure that you keep him away from me." Tugging on his light grey t-shirt, Malcolm lets out a low hum before slicking his palms through his unruly curls.

"You know, for a tough cop, you're really soft." I tease him and he simply cuts his eyes at me.

"Yeah but if Justin so much as crosses the line, you'll see how soft I am when I take my gun out and shoot him." He barks.

Cringing at the thought, I roll my eyes in frustration. "You and I both know you'd never do that. You're a cop. You've been taught to do the right thing."

"That would be doing the right thing." He retorts with a light smile on his face and I roll my eyes before smiling back. He and I both know that he'd never try to kill Justin. Maybe hurt him, but never take his life. He also knows I'd never forgive him if he ever did any of those things so I know in my heart he won't do it. "Just go to your job and Justin. But if you come home crying at the end of the day from how those people treated you, just know I'm here if you need me." His voice is low, soft...gentle. And I smile before rushing up to give him a tight hug.

"Thank you for giving me a chance to do this on my own." I breathe against him as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Don't make me regret it sis." He exhales loudly.

Pulling away, I kiss his cheek before moving around to grab my work bag and keys.

"You won't." I beam before waving goodbye to him as I make my way to the exit. Shit, I just know I'm going to be late today. Rush hour is a bitch.

"Be careful Zary!" Malcolm calls out as I swing the front door to our apartment open. You know, I have to say I'm happy that he's off from work because that means I'll get to see him more often. But I just hope he doesn't keep breathing down my neck and can give me some space to sort things out with Ju.

"I will bye!" I call out before slamming the door shut behind me so I can head down to the parking lot, hop in my Celica and head off to work.

Well this is my first day back at work by Justin's request, so it should prove to be an interesting day indeed.

After Ju brought me home yesterday he told me he had some things to take care of and that he would be in the studio for most of the day with Yolanda and Tim. He also mentioned about going into work today and that he wanted me to be there so that's why I'm willing to brave all the gossip.

You know, that man is so lucky that I love him. Because I just know, by the end of today, I might really need my brother to calm me down, even though he acts more like a fatherly figure than my sibling.

*****

Tennman Records (branch)

Orlando, FL

"Where the hell is Zara?" I state anxiously, gazing at my wrist watch before bobbing my knees up and down in anticipation. "She's already fifteen minutes late." I grimace, knowing that my entire staff is going to be meeting me in the boardroom in the next half hour.

"I'm sure she'll be here soon sir."

Snapping my head up to look at who just sauntered into my office without knocking, I frown when I realize it's Jeffery Rush. He's probably berry's only real friend here at Tennman. By the look on his face, I'd say he's concerned and maybe curious to know what's going on.

"Jeffery?" I arch a brow at him, signaling for him to take a seat.

He easily makes himself comfortable before getting right to the reason why he's here. "Look Mr. Timberlake. I'm not here to judge you or Jahzara. But she is my friend, and I do care about her and I'm only here now because I'm concerned." Well, he doesn't waste any time.

I fix my jacket which matches the grey pant suit I'm wearing before I fold my arms across my chest, nodding in understanding, waiting for him to continue.

"Now, since yesterday, your employees have been going crazy in here. They're threatening to boycott work and bring up legal issues based on employee rights and all that unnecessary drama simply because they're jealous. The guys don't seem to really mind, but some of the women are beyond pissed off." He seems amused by this. I can't say that I'm not too, but it's really no laughing matter. "They think that you're giving Jahzara special treatment because well..." He pauses, bowing his head in thought, contemplating on if he should finish his statement or not.

"You all saw the tabloids?" I question and he nods before a light smile twitches into the corners of his mouth. It's a crooked grin, like he's actually ‘ok' with that fact. I'm a little surprised.

"Actually, I heard about it on Access Hollywood and then on MTV when I was channel surfing but yeah...I'm just happy for Zara you know? She needed a good guy in her life and you're a pretty standup guy." He chuckles lightly. "Look, Mr. Tim..." But I cut him off.

"Justin." I state.

"I'm sorry?"

"Call me Justin. We can get past the formalities Jeffery. I'm pretty sure you're the only real friend Zara has in here and she might need you during transformation." I explain.

"Transformation?" He inquires skeptically.

"I'm not going to keep her in this craziness. Effective January 1st, I'm giving control of the company to my co-owner Ken Komisar. It's why I'm holding the staff meeting today. To clear the air, put my employees at ease and to take Zara and myself out of that mess." I state firmly and Jeffery nods in understanding.

"So..."

"I'll discuss with you all, the department heads and board of directors. I'll be busy working on my album and promotional work anyway, so I'll be absent most of the time and since Zara is Yolanda's PA, she'll be out as well. Then I'm going to be touring for the rest of the year. It's only fair I have someone else look over the company. I already cleared it with Ken and the other executives. I also spoke to my music manager Johnny Wright about my hectic schedule coming up and after careful deliberation I think my presence will only be needed for board meetings when making important decisions." I explain, watching intently as Jeffery absorbs this new information.

"I think it's what's best and even if I know a lot of women in here will be disappointed, at least they don't have to worry about you taking favors." Jeffery laughs out and I smile.

"I guess not." I shrug.

"Well then, that's fine. I should maybe get back to my department. We have some promotional work that needs attention in reference to the label." He mentions, standing from his sitting position.

Giving him a quick handshake, I grin widely understanding why Zara must feel so comfortable with him. He really is a laid back guy who seems very easy to talk to and get along with. "Thanks Jeff. I wish more of my employees were as understanding as you." I mention and he just sighs in thought.

"We can't all be cool Justin." He jokes and I laugh out, reclaiming my seat just as we hear a knock on my door.

"No we can't." I snicker before voicing, "Come in!"

Excusing his self, Jeffery quickly turns to make his exit just as Zara appears from behind the door with a smile on her face. I watch on as he greets her with a ‘welcome back' and a ‘we need to catch up' before he tells me a quick bye then leaves my office, leaving berry and me alone. Taking in her slightly distraught form, I frown because she has a smile on her face, but it doesn't stretch to her beautiful hazels like it usually does. She looks perturbed.

"Let me guess, almost two days have gone by since we saw each other last and Malcolm has successfully made your life a living hell?" I inquire while standing and rounding my desk to approach her.

She sighs wearily before slicking her hands through her shoulder-length curly hair. "He's upset, but I think he's cool for the most part." She admits and I nod, pulling her into my embrace before I lean down to place a soft kiss on her full lips.

"I've missed you." I whisper softly and she giggles while wrapping her arms around my neck to pull me in for another kiss, this time deepening it so our tongues touch lightly, delicately before she pulls away with a genuine smile on her face this time.

"I've missed you too." She coos and I smirk.

"Yeah? Oh and you're fired." I say sternly laughing out when her eyes widen. "You're late. I don't like tardiness." I try to keep a firm voice but she simply groans in annoyance before pulling away from me, hitting my chest playfully, causing a slight chuckle to escape me. "I'm serious, you're so fired." I let out a throaty growl when she subconsciously licks those soft lips of hers. She needs to not tempt me right now.

"If you said that months ago before you first kissed me in your pool at your cookout I would have believed you with tears in my eyes." She admits while giving me a challenging glare as she places her hands on her hips.

"I beg to differ." I groan lowly, pulling her back into my embrace.

"Oh?" She taunts.

"Yes...if it was before we shared that dance at Tim's club opening then you could have believed me, because after that, you had me girl and there was no way I was going to fire you before getting to know you." I muse causing her to laugh out.

"You're impossible. If I remember correctly, at that time, you treated me worse than when you simply didn't know who I was and my name. If I recall, you wanted to just call the whole dancing thing a mistake and put it behind us since we were clearly under the influence and didn't know we were indeed dancing with each other." She points out and I nod in understanding.

"I was obviously in denial." I shrug, smiling demurely.

"Obviously." She spits sarcastically, mocking me and I lift a brow.

"I believe in fate you know berry. I always noticed you, you know. Always. Every single time I walked through those front doors busy or not, you were the first face I saw even if I knew nothing about you." I admit. "Plus, I liked playing the guessing game with you trying to figure out your name. It was easy for me to just ask you or any other employee, but I was waiting to see if one day you would have said anything else to me and corrected me since my guesses were always wrong. The day you did..."

I drift in thought, remembering the day she finally stopped me and told me her real name, a small smile forming across my features in the process. "That moment was epic. You always seemed so reserved, withdrawn and spaced out in ‘berryland' though, now that I'm aware that I was the cause of it, I'm cool." I say nonchalantly with a cocky smile on my face. That elicited a groan from her as she pulls away from me, laughing hysterically.

"Slick Justin, real slick." She says in disbelief.

"I have game girl." I joke.

"And berryland? Oh my god, you're crazy with all these word inventions I swear. What next? Your own clothing line called berry something? I mean, since Strawberry is already taken and all as you proved to me, by dragging me to the mall just to show me the damn store." She says through sobs before her laughs increase in intensity. She's making it sound cheesy now. I thought it was a nice gesture. Maybe a little lame, but I was trying to be nice.

Ginning sheepishly, I rub the back of my neck while glaring at her. God I love her smile. It's seriously gorgeous and makes her look like a completely different person. "I already have a clothing line. But a fragrance line, cosmetic line or whatever feminine line could work. I'd have to think of a name to call it where I incorporate ‘berry' in it though, but I'm a genius so I'll figure it out." You know, that's actually a cool idea. I should look into that.

Zara's laughs completely die out when she sees how serious I am.

"Wow, you're serious Ju?" She asks in astonishment.

"Maybe?" I wriggle my eyebrows at her before my line buzzes, interrupting our little session. "Damn, I almost forgot I have a meeting to get to. You're needed there as well missy. You think you can handle the speculation for a bit? Then I want us to head down to the studio to check up with Yolanda and Tim." I voice.

"I guess." She shrugs as I move over to grab my line before it cuts off.

"Hello?"

"Justin? I...I mean Mr. Timberlake?" Frowning, I inhale sharply at the sound of Felicity's voice. I can't help but remember what Trace told me about her. I really don't think it's anything, but she's new, so I'm going to be cautious with her. I can't handle a fanatic on my hands now, I'd go crazy.

"Yes." I reply, relaxing when I feel Zara's arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"I have Mr. Wright on line one." Oh great. Johnny has been on my case about how I could have been so careless these past two days. Still, he knows what he's talking about so I can handle his lecturing since he's also helping me do damage control with the whole media issue.

"Ok, put him through Felicity."

"Ok Justin!" She says cheerily and seriously, she needs to call me Mr. Timberlake and not Justin. I'm still her boss. Damn.

Before I can say anything else, she transfers the call and I swallow harshly, gasping when Johnny's voice filters through the line because Zara just tiptoed and kissed the nape of my neck before flicking her fingertips over the base of the back of my head, sending shivers through my body. She needs to stop that before she turns me on. She knows damn well that's one of my sensitive spots.

"You have goosebumps." She whispers to me in a low tone and I whip around to face her, smiling slyly before pulling her against me, still hearing Johnny calling out to me.

"Hello? Justin are you there?"

Mouthing a ‘be quiet' to Zara, I clear my throat, trying to find my voice before I answer.

"Yeah, yeah Johnny what's up?" I say animatedly into the line.

Berry's just standing there with her body pressed firmly against mine and her hands traveling over my torso with a smirk on her face. I shoot her a warning glare before Johnny falls into conversation with me, stating the reason of his call and I fight to keep my concentration because Zara's hands have taken on a mind of their own.

Oh she better watch herself, because payback is a bitch and I'm sure she's going to hate me when I take it upon myself to return the favor for all the times she's ever messed with me like this.

*****

Hours Later...

Timbaland's Studio...

Damn if I didn't know any better I'd say I was dreaming. No scratch that. I'm trapped in a fucking nightmare. That board meeting Justin held today at work was a disaster! Well for me it was. He seemed pretty 'ok' answering all of his employees' nosey questions in a cool, calm and professional manner. I swear, some even had fucking tabloids with them, accusing him and asking him if this was what he did and if this is how I worked my way to the top while the rest of them were struggling and working hard to achieve success. Justin gave the best answers to everything. I know it's from years of doing countless interviews and whatnot. It would be a task breaking him to find out information he wasn't willing to give.

But oh god, I nearly busted into tears right on the spot, but kept my composure because every so often, Justin would shoot me a comforting, apologetic glare as he kept the peace.

I couldn't leave that room fast enough when the meeting was over, knowing it was jealousy and envy having some of them behaving that way. It still hurts like hell because I know they think of me as some slut or something when I'm not. I should ignore, I really should, but if this is what life if going to be like with Justin in the open then I'm going to need some serious prayers to get through this without wanting to kill a few people in the process. Why can't people just let things be? Why don't they like to see a good thing? Why must they always try to destroy?

I'm so happy Justin decided to turn over the management to Ken. That means we won't need to head in on regular work hours, only when necessary. I'm happy because I couldn't possibly stay working in that place with those people. This is what I didn't want. I knew it was immoral and unethical to be involved with Justin since he was my boss and technically still is. What I don't get is why people never made such a big deal about Mallory. They knew about her. She was in the tabloids with Justin too as his toy. I refuse to believe it's because I'm different and not the type of girl people are used to seeing on Justin's arm.

God, I'm really going to need Malky on this. I really am. I can't do this. I've been telling myself I could, but the longer I think about the reality of the situation the more terrified I become. I don't want a replay of my younger days where I was constantly bullied in school for being different. I can't do it. Not again. I can't let those people rip me apart and criticize and point out all my flaws for the entire world to see. I told Malcolm I could handle it but I'm not sure anymore.

Sighing, I wipe my slightly trembling palms over my face, trying to clear my thoughts. The last person I want to see me this way is Justin. He has enough on his plate; I can't put him through this. The good thing is I'll be resuming my sessions with Dr. Lake next week whom I still haven't told Malcolm about. I'm sure he's bound to find out soon. I might just need him there too. I really hope she can help because I can feel that familiar twinge of depression wanting to consume me again and I just...

"I need to use the bathroom." I suddenly voice, panic surging through my system. Holding my breath when Justin and Tim whip around to face me I smile unsurely.

We've been here at the studio for some time now. Justin fell right into producer mode with Tim as they worked on Yolanda the moment he got in here. I've been sitting, watching them work silently, my mind driving me crazy because it won't shut off.

"You know berry, that's not necessarily an announcement that needs to be made. You can just head on out." Justin jokes, his azures glimmering with amusement.

"Right." I laugh out, hearing Tim chuckling as well.

"A little on edge girl?" Tim asks me and I smile shyly.

"I wouldn't say that Tim." I shrug.

"It's cool. You have Justin who's dealt with the public and media most of his life. You'll be ok, just stick with him." Tim says knowingly before he smiles for me, returning his vision to the soundboard when Yolanda finishes singing the chorus she was testing out. "Sound good Yolanda. One more time; this time put in the drop at the end I told you about." He instructs and she nods with a bright smile...

"You need an escort to the bathroom mam?" Justin snickers before standing up to come over to me.

Jumping up on my feet I wave my hands. "No! I'm good. I'll be right back." I note the instant frown forming on his face by my outburst, but before he can get another word in, I'm out the door in a flash.

After I relieved myself and washed my hands, I couldn't tear my eyes away from my reflection in the mirror.

So, for the past I don't even know how long, I've just been there glaring at myself, trying to figure out who this person is staring back at me. "I can do this..." I mutter, nearly jumping in fright when my cell begins ringing loudly in the empty spacious bathroom, the shrilling noise bouncing off the white tiled walls.

Stuffing my hands in my side bag, I pull it out fumbling with it until I get it open and place it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello Jahzara." Comes an unfamiliar voice through the line. It's male but I can't make it out. Pulling the telephone away from my ear, I realize the number is blocked. Wondering if I should put it down or not, the person continues speaking, stunning my movements. "You don't know me, but I know you." They begin and my eyes widen when the person laughs out menacingly. It's a light laugh with a hidden agenda. It's clichéd that he says this but creepy as hell. What the fuck is up with these random calls? "I have a message for you. I think, based on what I know, it would be wise that you and Justin end all ties with each other before it's too late." This guy explains.

"Excuse me what? Who are you and what the hell is this?" I hiss angrily. "And I'm not doing that." I snap.

There's a pause followed by a tired sigh. "Listen to me Jahzara, would you rather stay with Justin and you all get hurt? Or love each other enough to walk away and save yourselves?"

"What's it to you? Why is our relationship a problem?" I inquire, feeing my heartbeat pick up.

"That's not important. What is important is that Justin did not listen to us."

"Us?!" I scream out, my voice booming since it echoes off the walls.

"Us." The stranger reiterates. "He thinks this is a joke. It's serious. If you love him, you'll let him go."

"What? But...but no...no fuck you!" I snap getting ready to shut the cell, thinking about getting my number changed. I'm lucky that I'm in here alone. I can't have anyone seeing me like this.

Sighing from irritation, the person simply lets out an irritated groan. "Ok, suit yourselves. You've been warned. If I was you, I'd maybe suggest cheating on Justin or something so he doesn't get suspicious, but if you decide to stay enjoy your relationship for as long as it lasts. Oh and I advice that you don't speak of this conversation. I will give you one last chance and call in the future for your decision." And just like the line goes dead.

I'm still just standing there, glaring at myself in the mirror, frozen, baffled, angry, confused and downright petrified. I want to believe this is a prank call. Do these things really happen to people? I thought they only happened in movies. What the fuck is this? I want fucking answers! Shit!

"Shit...I can...I can't fucking do this!" I scream out to no one in particular before I begin digging through my side bag. When I find what I'm looking for, I sigh slightly before pulling out the small bottle filled with anti-depressant pills. I'm not supposed to be taking them. Dr. Lake told me not to take them because I might become dependent. Justin would maybe trip because my weight-loss pills are in there too. But fuck it. I need to relax, I need to calm down...I need that drowsy effect the pills give that can lull me to sleep if only for a few hours so I can forget about my life for a bit.

Shutting off my phone completely, I stuff it in my bag then twist the cap off the anti-depressant pills with trembling hands. Ok, get a grip Zara. You'll be fine. Just, get a grip. This is nothing you and Justin can't handle. Maybe we could get the cops in on this. Yeah, maybe Malcolm and Drew can help us with this. I...

"Zara? Babes are you in there? Girl do not tell me you got flushed down the toilet or sucked down the drain..."

Jumping in shock, I stumble back when I hear Justin's laughing voice as the door to the ladies' room slowly eases open. "If there is anyone else in here, please be decent." He chuckles and I gasp when he comes into the view, the bottle I'm holding accidentally slipping through my trembling fingers, its contents spilling unto the bathroom floor. Oh god...

"There you are ber..." But his words are stunted, completely dying in his throat when his eyes meet mine.

Wiping at my face nervously, I feel the moistness of tears I was oblivious to shedding. This is bad...

"Wha..." Drifting, Justin's blues immediately fill with concern and worry as he takes in my partially paralyzed, distraught form.

My eyes drop to the empty bottle mindlessly on the floor and he follows my gaze, his brows knitting in confusion and his eyes narrowing as he takes in a deep strangled breath. Oh god if I could just bend down and get that bottle before he sees what it is then...

I can see his smooth clear skin turning a light shade of pink and I just know he's getting upset.

But, before I can say or do anything, his head snaps up, arms folded across his chest as he eyes me.

"Don't even think about it." Justin snaps in a low angry hiss when I move to pick up my pills. And I freeze solid in place, my confusion mirroring his. Then he sighs, his anger mixed with pain.

"Shit berry, what the hell is going with you!?"

*****

Quotes by: Oliver Wendell Holmes & Mark Victor Hansen