December...

Two Days Later...

Monday Afternoon...

Revealing Truths

 "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." - Galileo Galilei

"How can you blame her for this when Jeremy is clearly the culprit? Not that I'm surprised."

Glaring at Yolanda, I shrug uncaringly and tug on my red shirt as we walk out of the studio, ending the day early since I was having trouble concentrating today. Thank god we're done recording and done with these albums.

"Justin you're being a jerk. This is not Zara's fault." She snaps at me but I ignore her, letting her scolding go into one ear and out the other as Mike ushers us to my jeep so we can leave.

"I'm not blaming her for anything." I finally retort. "You know I love that woman with all of my heart." It's true, I'm not sure why I'm fighting it. I'm not even angry with berry; I'm just pissed off by this situation we're in.

"Then what does kicking her out mean? Not to mention how rude that was to treat your own girlfriend that way..."

"I sent her home to her brother where she'd be safer." I snap, desperately wanting Yolanda to just shut the hell up now.

"Oh wow, I'm sorry that sounds so much better. What would she be safer from Justin? Jeremy or you?"

Pausing briefly before I hop into the passenger seat of my ride, I glare at Yolanda for a long while, her words stinging me much more than I expected. But still, that's a good question. Who was I really trying to protect Zara from when Jeremy called? I highly doubt it was him since he was just a voice on the line at the time. All I know is, I was seeing nothing but red and I so desperately wanted to just...hit something. The truth is, I was terrified that I'd just snap and take all of my rage and frustration out on Zara.

I mean, when she was tugging on me and trying to get me to stay, I was mortified at the fact that I just wanted to jack her off of me so I could leave. I couldn't let her stay around me like that. I needed to clear my head, not talk to her in the state I was where I could have done and said things I'd regret till the day I died. I didn't want that so I did the next best and safest thing. I made sure she was as far away from me as possible.

Shit. Yolanda's right. But damn it I won't let her know that she is, not so she can rub it in my face and insist that I talk to berry. I'm not ready yet. I need to chill still. I'll just leave her to deal with this shit with her brother for the time being. I already have to confirm our flights to Colorado and New York, as well as check in with Ken for the company and finally get in contact with Johnny about my New York schedule for Yolanda and my album promotions.

Precious Jer will just have to wait. I could care less what he's into. As long as he doesn't come anywhere near me and my woman, then I can see and think straight to get my shit together and get my work done.

"Just shut the fuck up and get in the damn ride Yolanda; this conversation is over." I hiss at her, dismissing her and my thoughts completely before I get into the passenger side.

Scoffing, she remains quiet while fixing the strap of her blue floral dress, doing as she's told, with Mike just glaring at us and shaking his head pitifully. As long as he doesn't say anything to me about my situation with Zara, then I'm fine. I know berry's not angry with me; I spoke to her last night briefly by Trace's threatening orders. Yeah, he's lucky he's my best friend so I let him get away with it. If anything, she wants to know if I'm ok. But really, I'm not. It's not her fault. It's mine.

I'm starting to realize I have some serious anger issues that I'm having a hard time controlling. I'm not sure how many more times I can just suppress it and walk away. I've been doing that because dealing with my problems is harder and I'm not up for it.

But fuck it because we're heading over to a meeting with our crew on the William Rast line now, so that should make for a great distraction for the rest of the afternoon. Anything to get my mind moving in a different direction than where it's heading now, I'll gladly take it. By the end of the day, I'm expecting I'll mostly be back to my relaxed laid-back self.

"I seriously cannot wait for my vacation next year." I mutter to myself. Getting away is now on my top priorities list. Too bad I couldn't just disappear away from this life forever.

*****

Orlando Police Station

"Ugh! Malky why did you drag me down here?" I'm not exactly the best person to bring down to the police station where it's swarming with criminals and all kinds of weird smells. I hate these types of situations and environments. I always get anxious and scared. I'm such a ‘wuss' sometimes. I really need to toughen up.

"Because Zary, I need to take your statement based on what Jeremy told you. I also will be confiscating your phone so we can trace the call. We'll be contacting your telephone provider. Plus, we're going to pay Blake a visit and take his statement as well providing he agrees to come down to the department for questioning. I don't care what Jeremy told you. Blake is still a suspect in this investigation and we need to make sure your stories check out." He explains in his serious cop tone that I hate. Whenever Malcolm is in cop mode like this, he just doesn't seem like my brother sometimes. It irks the hell out of me.

"Should you really be taking this case considering it's so close to home? I mean, won't your judgment get compromised?" I ask and he just glares at me.

The look he's giving me alone tells me that I'm right. Another officer who is not personally connected should take this case instead of him. I would sleep easier at night if that happened too because Malcolm would not be endangering his life but he's too much of a hard ass to agree with me.

"Look the chief owes me, so you're stuck with me." He reprimands and I smirk.

"How could your chief possibly..." But he cuts me off.

"I told him it was this or I quit and he clearly values me as one of his best officers. You can see how he wasn't left with much of a choice."

I simply shake my head in disapproval at him. Damn my brother is stubborn.

"You're terrible." But I can't help the smile that plays on my face.

Sometimes I think that he loves me too much. He would not think twice or hesitate to do anything for me even if it means sacrificing his life so I'm protected. It's so crazy. But I guess we built that strong bond since we were basically left to fend for ourselves. No thanks to our ungrateful aunt Patrice who really is a bitch. I'm sorry, I just have no respect for her. I may still care about her, but I've never been given the fair chance to love her and call her my true family so screw it. I just wish I could see my cousin Jordan if only just once.

Damn life and the hand I've been dealt. I like to think of it as Justin being one of those good deals I got, but even now, I'm a little shaky with that reasoning. He can be really hot and cold sometimes and it really does drive me crazy but I love that man so I don't mind putting up with his crazy, sexy, irresistible ass. Yes, I have it bad.

"What's with the smug smile Zary? A while ago you were yelling at me for being a stubborn mule." Malcolm asks and it's then that I realize I completely zoned out while staring at him. Damn, Justin still gets me like that. Well, at least I can say now that it's a good thing.

"Oh nothing. Can we please get this grueling process over with so I can check up on my man?" I grumble, my eyes turning wide when I realize what I let slip out.

"Could you please not refer to that spoilt celeb in such context in my presence? It's disgusting. I'm trying to not envision what goes with that 'couple status' because I might just shoot my own damn self." Malcolm says in disgust and I stick my tongue out at him playfully.

"Well he is, so get used to it. Justin is my gorgeous sexy man and if you don't like it then..."

"Ok enough!" Malcolm chuckles though I can still see his discomfort due to the mention of Justin.

"Why do you hate him so much?" I snigger.

"I told you..."

"But he's not Christian!" I interrupt him.

"He doesn't have to be, he just has to make a mistake and do what Christian did to you." Malcolm hisses angrily and I pout before looking away from him.

Little does he know that if that ever had to happen, it would be in reverse and then what would he think of his precious baby sister when I turn out to be the lying, cheating, good-for-nothing backstabber? I wonder if he'd take Justin's side then. Ugh, I can't think of that. I'll never be that person.

When he sees how upset I'm getting he sighs in defeat. "Look, let's not talk about this now ok Zary? Let's head over to check in with the chief and then I'll take your statement and get to tracing that call. Drew is working on the warrant for Blake as we speak." When Malcolm hooks my arm in his, I glare at his huge arm bulging out of the long sleeved green shirt he's wearing. Laughing to myself since I know he hasn't been to the gym lately, I smile when I remember the day I bumped into Justin at our gym.

"What?" Malcolm asks curiously, still eyeing me as we make our way over to the police chief's office. Ugh, did I mention I hate this place? It doesn't help that his fellow officers are eyeing us with amused expressions.

"Oh nothing. Just that you've lost weight big brother, with the no gym rule from Dr. Lake and all." I snicker and he groans before passing his other free hand through his unruly dark curls.

"She thinks I'll strain myself. Poor old woman is crazy." He chortles and I roll my eyes. See? He's as stubborn as a mule but he's still my big bro that I love so I can live with that.

*****

Gazing at the endless outlet stores in one of the most popular shopping spots in Orlando, my face creases into a frown.

"Why the fuck are we here? I have a meeting to get to for William Rast." I state, glancing over at Mike who hasn't said a word since we left the studio earlier.

"Trace said he could handle it. He has been overseeing it on his own for a while now so no worries." Mike explains and I scowl.

"Trace isn't the only owner. If I want to go to a meeting for my clothing line then I'm going. Besides, I'd like to know what's going on too." I whine like a big baby. I can't help it. I feel like they're up to something that I'm not going to like.

"You always know what's happening and it doesn't affect the decisions you make in the business Justin. We all agreed that this would be better for you now. The less stress you have the better."

"What's more important than my fucking work? This is my life." Is that big overgrown fool serious right now?

"Well..." Groaning when I hear Yolanda's voice in the backseat, I look out of the window when I realize that Mike is parking in front of the Burberry store. Shit, that can't be good. "We figured, since you've been such an ass to ‘berry', it was only fair that we helped you with apologizing to her since your pride and ego are too big to let you do it on your own." Yolanda states firmly and I close my eyes taking in deep breaths.

"I don't need schooling on how to deal with my woman." I snap bitterly.

"Apparently, you do. Trace said it would be a good thing. In fact, this was his idea." Mike retorts and I glare at him again. I hope he knows that I'm wishing my eyes could shoot laser beams right now. Damn it.

"And what exactly was this big idea Trace had which made him decide to keep me away from our fucking meeting this afternoon?" I hesitantly inquire as my eyes pop open and scan the many stores lined up next to and across from each other.

"Well, I'm going to help you pick out an apology gift for berry. Then, you're going to invite her over later, give her the gift, tell her you're sorry and hope that she forgives your ungrateful ass." Yolanda states.That causes me to root out my seatbelt before turning my body completely around to look at her in the backseat.

"I'm not doing the whole, ‘I'm sorry' gift routine. Especially if it's initiated by you all." I say defiantly even if I know that's a good idea.

"You don't have a choice Justin. You really can be a jerk sometimes. What berry sees in you, I will never know."

"Stop fucking calling her berry!" I snap at Yolanda and she smirks before her lips curve into an evil smile, her green orbs twinkling with delight.

"Why? You call her that all the time. Even though no one really, truly knows why you do." She teases me and I growl angrily before swinging my door open.

"Only I get to call her that ok? So just stop! When you do it it's annoying." Sighing in defeat, I hop out of the ride and slam the door shut with the two of them on my tail. Fantastic. "Let's just get this over with."

If this is going to make berry feel better then I'll do it. It pays to suck up your pride every once in a while. That and Yolanda's a woman too. A very spoilt, rude, annoying woman...but one nonetheless. If she says this will win me points with Zara then I might as well go along with it. But, I'm not going to like it.

"Wipe the smug smile off your face Yolanda." I spit but her smile only widens, causing Mike to laugh out at us.

Grumbling, I stuff my hands into my jeans pocket and allow them to escort me into the Burberry store. It doesn't help that half of the store's name reminds me of Zara. How...inconvenient. If I'm right, we're going to be here for a while because I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be the only store I visit today. It's times like these that I'm glad to be a man and not a woman. Things are so much simpler.

When Yolanda sees me smiling to myself she arches her brows at me in suspicion. "What are you thinking about Justin? You can't make a run for it." She warns, hooking her arm with mine.

Rolling my eyes, I take in a deep breath when we enter the store with Mike in tow. I immediately notice a few people with shocked faces when they recognize us before the sales persons rush over to our sides to welcome us.

"I'm thinking that it's that time of the month again for you miss short-tempered." I whisper to Yolanda and she huffs causing me to chuckle.

"Laugh now, but your afternoon is just beginning." She whispers back deviously and the smile on my face instantly dies when I hear her asking the sales associates to see their recent merchandize.

Oh god, this is every man's nightmare. Not that I don't like shopping or shopping for my girl, but Yolanda is going to make this a torturous experience for me. I can tell. Shit, berry better appreciate this. Not that she won't but, even I must love her way too much to put up with this ‘pmsing' diva standing next to me.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

*****

Later...

Tennman Records...

"Well that was weird." Shutting my cell, I giggle to myself as I make my way through the lobby of Tennman Records.

"What was weird?" Snapping my head up, I smile brightly when I see Jeffery Rush coming over to me looking fresh in his suit.

"I just got the weirdest call from Justin asking me to come over later. He sounded nervous...it was cute." I blush slightly.

"Hmm, doesn't sound like the Justin I know. He must be softening up." Jeffery jokes and I give him a tight hug before pulling away.

"I'm not worried. So, what's up Jeff? How's everything going?" I inquire as I study his expressions.

"Can't complain. The job pays well and everything is going well here even with you guys gone so that's a plus."

"Good."

"The women are disappointed and still talk about you guys but that's nothing new."

Frowning, I nod in agreement as Jeffery leads us over to my old workstation where the new girl Felicity is situated.

"So, tell me Jeff, why am I here?" I inquire as he calls Felicity over.

"Ah yes, the reason why I called you over here. If you'll come up to my office with me you'll find out."

Before I can respond, Felicity comes over with a folder of documents in hand and I don't miss the double-take she does when she notices me. A small frown forms over her face but when her eyes meet Jeffery's she manages to plaster a genuine smile on her face.

"Hey Jeff here are the documents you asked for." Felicity says and he quickly takes them from her while thanking her in the process.

"Thanks doll. Oh and I'm sure you know Zara..." Jeffery mentions and Felicity nods in agreement eyeing me intently.

"Of course, this used to be her job."

I don't miss the slight humor in her tone and I'm tempted to say something but instead, she adds in another piece that makes me keep my silence.

"Maybe if I'm lucky and do my work well I'll get a great promotion like you did right Miss Gilmore? I can only hope."

If I was an idiot, I'd say she was being genuine because there is no hint of sarcasm in her tone, but her eyes say it all. She thinks I ass-kissed my way to the top. She probably thinks I seduced Justin or something to get my present position as Yolanda's PA. Ugh. And I thought she was so nice. Though I can't really blame her for thinking these things with what the employees have been saying now that Justin and my relationship is out, but I still think it's unfair for her to pass judgment on me.

I'm pretty sure she's not liking this job but doing it as a means to an end since someone has to do it. If she was nicer, I'd maybe try to get Justin to mix up her duties so it's not so mundane, but right now, her attitude doesn't impress me.

When I continue staring at her mutely she instinctively backs down, breaking eye contact with me so she can return to her seat.

"Well..." Jeffery begins, completely oblivious to our little staring contest since he was browsing through the documents. "Let's head up so you can be on your way Z." Motioning for me to follow him, I give Felicity once last glance whose head is now down as she types away at her computer before I walk behind Jeffery to the elevators.

He tells her another ‘thank you' as we disappear up to his office so I can know why he brought me here. I guess when I'm done I'll head home and get ready to go over to Justin's.

After Malcolm took my statements he figured I could keep my phone and they'd just contact my telephone providers who happened to be Verizon Wireless. If anything, he could easily get my cell but for now, I'm glad I still have it with me. They also went after Blake but I have no idea how that went because when he and Drew left to pay Blake a visit, I was heading over here to Tennman by Jeffery's request. I just hope everything goes smoothly. I'm sure Malcolm will tell me about it later. I know he'll be contacting Yolanda and Trace so I'll wait to see how it goes.

I think I'm more anxious to know why I'm here and why Ju was sounding so nervous on the line when he asked me to come over later. I know he was pissed off these past few days over Jeremy so I have no idea what's going on with him now. I guess that's something to look forward to later. I just hope it's nothing negative that I won't be able to handle. I can't take any more bad news.

*****

"I'm never doing this again with you." I say painfully as we finally make our way back into my ride and head out of the outlet store shopping complex.

"Lighten up Justin it wasn't that bad." Yolanda sniggers but I refrain from turning around to glare at her in the backseat.

"We went in every fucking store Yolanda. It's almost dark out now." I say slowly, yawning slightly since I feel partly exhausted.

I was right. She didn't make this easy for me but looking down at the few bags of items I purchased both for myself and for berry, I can't help but smile. I guess she's getting double gifts because I still have her Christmas gift to give her which is going to be separate from this.

"Oh by the way, when are you guys leaving for Colorado? I have a few promotional stuff to do down here but Trace offered to be my stand-in PA since you all would be out for those few days." Yolanda explains and I shrug tiredly, gazing out the window as Mike drives us home.

During our shopping spree, I managed to call the airlines and confirm our bookings.

"I switched around our flights so I booked it for Thursday night finally. We should be back on Monday since Christmas is Sunday and we're scheduled to head to New York on the 27th which is the Tuesday. I was thinking that Zara and I could have just met you guys in New York but, I have a feeling she's going to want to see her brother for that day. So, we'll leave for New York the Tuesday Night." I explain and I hear Yolanda hum her approval in the backseat. I guess she's tired too, as she should be. We had a long day. Mine isn't over yet though.

When I called berry to ask her over, I was actually feeling nervous because I know I acted like a jerk and even though it comes easier now with her, apologizing has always been a task for me to do. I don't know why but I just have too much pride and sometimes it is a bruise to the ego, especially if I'm in the wrong and have to admit to my fucked-up ways.

Plus, it didn't help that Yolanda was standing right next to me telling me what to say. Not like I needed the coaching, but having her there made me not choke up. I know I'm lame but Zara still has the ability to leave me tongue-tied, especially if I have no idea what's going on with her or what she's thinking.

"You miss her don't you?"

Still gazing out of the window I sigh. I can see Mike watching me from the corner of his eyes but Yolanda was the one who asked the question.

"I just don't get why I always seem to mess up like this. I never fucked up this much in my other relationships." I sigh.

"Maybe you're holding on a little too tightly. Maybe you need to relax and just let nature run its course." Yolanda suggests but I can't do that.

She has no idea what I went through to be with Zara. I'm not about to just sit back and let all these issues surrounding us claim our relationship. I can't lose berry. I'm not about to be passive and stand on the sidelines and let berry go back to her old self and ways. She's finally opening up; she's finally becoming the amazing woman I always knew was hiding underneath her protective shell. She looks healthier and she's happier even with all the shit we're going through now. I'm not about to get too comfortable and let it all slip away.

"Maybe...I should do that..." is the only reply I can give Yolanda because I know she's right, but I just...I rather hold on and fight for whatever it's worth.

"You say that Justin, but I don't believe you have any intention of lightening up." Yolanda points out and I smirk, not bothering to answer her this time.

I can't help it but I have this strange feeling that I'm going to have one hell of a fight ahead of me because as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not completely sure that Zara's fully mine yet. I have her heart, I know that I do and she has mine without a doubt, but sometimes I feel like...like she hasn't completely entrusted me with hers. I hope that's the case because it would be worse if it turned out that I was sharing her heart with someone else. I honestly don't think I could deal or live with that.

But I have nothing to worry about right? I know my baby and I know she'd never betray my trust. She has too many trust issues as it is. So maybe I'm just being a drama king.

I really need to shape up. I'm wondering if Dr. Lake would be able to schedule a two for one appointment with Zara and me. Maybe I need help just as much as Zara does. Couple counseling never hurt. I should maybe look into that. But first...I need to get through the rest of today even if all I want to do is pass out on my bed from exhaustion and call it a night.

*****

At Tennman...

"I can't believe this. This is insane." I can't believe my ears.

I mean, after I overcame my initial shock of seeing that same paparazzi man named Rico Gonzalez in Jeffery's office, I think I was more befuddled that he showed up at Tennman again demanding to see me after Justin and I told him we'd contact him if we required his services. What I didn't expect was for him to explain to me the real reason why he insisted on offering his services. I knew the paps were slime but this...this is beyond astounding. I wanted to believe he was different or maybe turning over a new leaf but I was wrong. It all makes sense now.

I still can't believe what he admitted to me. I mean it makes perfect sense but I'm still pissed off by it. Sure, I should give him credit for coming clean but I hope that he knows I'd never trust him with Yolanda now.

I can't believe Jeremy hired him to spy on Justin and me when we were in LA. For my entire relationship with Jeremy as short as it was, he was keeping a rather close eye on me. I guess he wasn't as clueless about Justin and me as I thought he was. Damn he's a good actor. He pretended like everything was ok, but he obviously didn't trust me with my boss, not that I blame him. That would explain the pictures of us Christian got. Jeremy paid Rico to take those pictures. How convenient was it that Rico lived here in Orlando also? Too convenient.

I'm thinking Jeremy set this up from the start even before we left for LA which means he already had his game plan in place. Ugh, what type of guy was I really with? He's a complete mystery to me now. To be so sneaky and underhanded is copiously wrong.

Rico doesn't know how Christian got the photos since Jeremy had possession of them so I'm thinking the photos were sent to Christian either by Jeremy himself or his ‘associates' after they dug up my past and learned about me and Christian's relationship. I just don't understand why they'd go through all this trouble to break Justin and me up. I guess they must really be desperate to please Jeremy so he will agree to work with them on whatever ‘business venture' they're a part of.

The thought alone of how dangerous this might be sends chills down my spine. Had I known, I would have never given Jeremy the time of day. I really do know how to pick them. Justin has been my only good choice and sometimes I'm just waiting for that one to blow up in my face too. I can't help it. I'm working on the whole negative thing. I'm trying to see the positive even though it's exceedingly hard sometimes.

I thank god everyday that I have someone like Malcolm in my life even though he has his ways. I think I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for my brother. Justin has saved me too in many ways, but I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for my brother, I wouldn't even be alive today for Justin to save.

"Look I'm very sorry. But after that heated conversation I had with Mr. Rowland where he informed me that you knew what he did, that he had to tell you because of how things were getting out of hand, I basically turned in my cards. He hired me to take pictures; that was it. Yes it was low but it's my job; it's what pays the bills and groceries. I'm not proud of it, but it's a small price all celebrities have to pay. I never once signed up for anything else and now I see that this is turning into something I wish to not be a part of. I have no idea what's really going on, but the fact that I heard a loud ruckus and gunshots in the background during our conversation was enough to make me walk away."

"Mr. Rowland wanted me to get that job with you all on tour as Yolanda's photographer so I could keep an eye on all of you. He was determined to win you back once he got his shit together, but I don't think this job is worth dying over so I'm truly sorry and apologize for all the inconveniences. I'm sorry for wasting your time Miss Gilmore and felt that it was only fair I paid you a face to face apology. My advice to you is to stay away from Mr. Rowland. He's not a bad guy, but he's mixed up in some bad things I'm sure you don't need in your life."

After that long explanation, Rico takes in a deep breath as we all sit around in silence in Jeffery's office just mauling over everything. Jeff seems shocked to say the least since I had to go into explanation on what was going on for him to understand. I already know there is no way Rico will agree to aid in Malcolm's investigation. He made me promise no police since he knows about my brother so I'm only left with what he's told me to go on.

And, if I ever told Justin, he'd hunt Rico down and maybe send him to the hospital. He's just been so worked up lately; I think I'm going to wait to tell him about the source of the photos. I don't want him threatening Rico with lawsuits or worse though Mr. Gonzalez would deserve it. Money makes people do stupid things and Jeremy's price was just right.

"Well..." I say after long drawn out silence. "Thank you for telling me and I'm glad that you did. I honestly don't know what else to tell you because you've caused us much distress but then again, if it wasn't you, it would have been someone else." Glancing at my watch, I quickly stand when I see how late it's getting.

I promised Justin I'd be over at eight pm and it's minutes past seven now. I'll never make it on time since I have to head to my apartment first and his home is a good distance away.

"I can't tell you anything else Mr. Gonzalez except that I hope I never have to see you again under these circumstances. If you'll excuse me..."

"I know but thank you for listening and being so understanding." Rico adds in and I nod as he and Jeffery stand as well.

"Yes, well, I don't like what I was told but at least you came clean. I really do have to leave now..." I add in as I move over to Jeffery. "I'm sorry I'm running out like this, but it was nice seeing you Jeff. When we get back from New York and all this craziness we should do the whole friends hanging out thing." I tell him before giving him a big hug and he laughs.

"Of course." He agrees hugging me back then pulling away so we can both face Rico who's eyeing us intently. "And don't worry, you have my word that I'll keep this little meeting to myself. Friends honor." He adds in while crossing his heart and I giggle.

"Thanks Jeff." I beam.

Locking eyes with the Spanish man, I manage to smile softly. If it was someone else, who's to say they'd do the decent thing and speak up? I can only be grateful now that another part of the mystery is solved.

"Well thank you for making me come out here today. And, you take care now." I mention as Jeffery ushers us both to the door of his office.

"Bye!" I voice as he swings the door open and I bid both men farewell, leaving them to say their last goodbyes.

I can't stick around for that. I need to get to Justin before he thinks I've stood him up. Damn, I hope Malcolm will be home when I get there so he can tell me how the whole Blake thing went.

Thank god that I have a friend like Jeffery. I'm really happy he called me down here instead of sending Rico away. I'm sure if it was someone else they would have simply told him I didn't work there per say anymore. Jeffery must have realized that Rico's urgency to see me was important. I can't help but realize just how great a friend he's proving himself to be. Too bad we never got to spend more time together. Maybe when all this craziness is over with we could change that.

But first thing is first. I need to pick up the pace so I can see a certain sexy boyfriend of mine whom I've missed these past few days. If I'm right, he misses me too. Even though he can be a huge jerk, he's my jerk and I love him and wouldn't trade him for the world.

*****

Later At Justin's...

"Shit where is she?" Pacing my living room floor, I glance at my large clock for the umpteenth time tonight. I'm anxious and on edge like I'm asking berry to marry me or something when I'm just apologizing. I think I'm worried now that she might be standing me up. Maybe I fucked up more than I realized and she's standing me up to teach me a lesson. Women can be devious but god I hope this is not the case.

It's after nine and dinner has long gotten cold but that's nothing the microwave can't fix.

"Fuck." I whisper softly when I feel my palms slightly sweating. What the hell is wrong with me? It's just Zara right? I mean, it's just berry. Hopefully we'll have dinner, I'll say I'm sorry, give her the gift I bought and she'll accept and then we'll be great again. Yolanda even gave me pointers on what to do if it didn't work before she and Mike left me alone to stay with Trace for the night. So what's the big deal? This is nothing special. It's sure as hell not a proposal.

I've never had this type of dilemma with my past girlfriends when I had to apologize to them. I don't get why it's such an issue now like if I fuck up bad enough and do or say the wrong thing I'll...I'll push the love of my life away and end up losing her in the process...

"Shit..." I gasp because it suddenly dawns on me. Zara's not just another one of my ‘Hollywood' girlfriends. I'd like to think that she is but it's painfully obvious that she's not.

She's...she's special in all aspects of the word. She's my berry, my heart and my everything. I'd fucking take a bullet for her if I had to. I'd die for her if it meant I'd be saving her life in the process. I know I said this before, but I really can't picture my life without her in it anymore. I already know that she has a permanent place in my heart but it's...it's different.

She's it for me. I know it and I can feel it. Every time I look at her or even think about her my heartbeat speeds up and my thoughts run haywire. I'm not really an emotional guy but I am sensitive and she brings that out in me which is something I hardly ever show openly. I always tried to keep it neutral but with her, my feelings tend to take on a mind of their own.

"Wow, this is..."

But I drift because as much as this should be a good thing that I'm realizing just how much I indeed love her and need her in my life, it's scaring the shit out of me. What do I even make of that? I can't keep thinking like this...like my world would be over, practically nonexistent if I was to lose her in any way. I'd be fucking destroyed if that happened.

I've never allowed myself to get that attached to anyone. The only person who fits that bill is my mom and in no way have I ever wanted another woman, even if she's my wife, to be in that same category. It's enough if I ever lost my mom heaven forbid. Why would I want a double take of that with the woman I choose to spend the rest of my life with? I must sound like a hypocrite, but I honestly was hoping I could shield myself from that type of unconditional love as stupid as it sounds. I've had enough heartbreak to last me a lifetime.

To get this deep again where Zara could possibly become the very air that I breathe, is not something I want right now. I...I don't think I'm strong enough for that. The truth is I don't know when or if I'll ever be strong enough again so this is a little unnerving.

Inhaling deeply when I hear the buzz of my intercom system, I give myself one last glance in the mirror nearby fixing the collar of my button-down blue shirt and jeans. Swiping my palms over my buzz cut, I sigh and head over to answer the intercom when Zara's voice comes filtering through.

"Justin? Ju? Are you there?"

Glancing at the surveillance cameras, I feel my heart skip a beat when I take in her head sticking out of the window of her Celica. Her hair is as black as night and I watch as it gracefully falls over her face. She's looking directly into the camera and it feels like she's staring right through my soul though I know she can't see me. She really is a beauty.

Smiling brightly, I press the button to respond just as I hit the open button to the main gates for her to come in. She has the code to the gates so I don't know why she buzzed in but I don't mind.

"You really need an upgrade girl." I joke and she laughs out before responding.

"You always say that. Sorry but maybe when I collect some more funds in the PA department I'll upgrade my ride then." She jokes and I chuckle before I walk over to the front door so I can greet her when she gets in.

It doesn't take long for her to head up the driveway to the front door. Putting her car in park, she quickly hops out and I fold my arms across my chest, leaning on the door frame while I examine her every move.

Jogging up the steps she stops when she reaches the platform, her hazels shining under the porch lighting. She's dressed in simple jeans and a red tube top that stops just above her navel ring exposing her midriff much to my pleasure.

"Well hello there gorgeous." I tease and she giggles before lunging herself into my arms that willingly open up to accept her.

"Hello to you too handsome." She coos and I chortle as I wrap my arms tightly around her body and bury my head in her hair, inhaling her scent that I love so much.

"I've missed you." I whisper against her, sighing in relief that I'm able to just hold her again like this. I know it's only been two days, but to me it feels longer, especially since I basically sent her away without so much as an explanation.

"I missed you too Ju."

"I'm sorry." I blurt out. This is not how I planned to say it but I need to know that she's not mad at me, that she forgives me for being well...a jerk of a boyfriend.

"I know." She responds and I finally pull away to gaze into her orbs, searching them for something extra.

Bringing one of my hands up to her chin, I lean down and smoothly capture her lips with mine, the feel of her soft, velvety, caramel lips against mine setting me at ease. I really do love kissing her. It's addicting.

Finally pulling away, I drag air into my lungs, waiting for her to say something else but she's silent just staring at me. "I really am sorry for the way I acted Zara. I..."

"Is that why you asked me over?" She inquires and I know this isn't going to be easy. She's not going to give into me. She must still be wondering what's going on with me and why I've been acting like such an ass.

"Yes, to ask for your forgiveness and because I missed you and wanted to spend some time with you. Come inside please. I uh, made us dinner. I hope you haven't eaten yet. Then we can talk. Is that ok?" I suggest and she smiles, nodding in approval before I lead her inside where it's warmer so we can get this show on the road.

Hopefully by the end of the night there won't be any tension between us. I need us to be on the best of terms now more than ever because we're heading to New York soon and I'm sure that by the time that trip is over both of our lives are going to change...again.

She's not going to be just Jahzara Gilmore anymore, not when we make this relationship official to the public. She's going to be Jahzara Gilmore, Justin Timberlake's girlfriend and as much as I hate this labeling shit that the media does, that's a big title to carry in this crazy lifestyle. I just hope she's ready for everything that comes along with being my partner...all of it...else we're going to be facing some major problems.

*****

Hours Later...

I was pleasantly surprised and ebullient even to the lengths Justin went to apologize to me and show that he was sorry for the way he acted. I'm glad that he's willing to accept his wrong doings. That never came easy for him. He can be more stubborn than me sometimes. He did admit that Yolanda had a part to play but I'm not angry at that. At least he was being honest.

I'm just happy that my baby is back because that angry irrational other person that shines through him is not cute. He needs to learn how to deal with that because I won't put up with his shit like this. I care and if I have to initiate some tough love like he's done with me to tame him then I will. But we're good now and that's all that matters.

When I got in earlier, we decided to have dinner first which was good because I didn't have a chance to eat anything before I left since Malcolm was busy giving me the detailed events of his day after I left him.

Needless to say, their encounter with Blake didn't go over smoothly. They eventually got him to cooperate and Malcolm mentioned that they took his statement and whatever else it is that cops do. They didn't have anything on him to arrest him and Malcolm refused to give me any in depth details of the case. Typical. I did inform him on what Rico told me and of course he was pissed. He went into a frenzy scolding me and telling me this is why he doesn't want me with Justin's 'kind'. I had to remind him that Jeremy was the one he had to be worried about and that Justin did nothing wrong.

I did tell Justin everything that happened except for the Rico part and he seems ok with it for the most part. He has faith that Malcolm will be the one to clear this mess up once and for all, especially since I'm a defining factor. I know he'd stop at nothing to protect me because that's my brother for you. I just hope he doesn't get hurt again in the process. That and I don't want Justin getting involved where he decides to take matters into his own hands.

Sighing tiredly, I toy with the necklace around my neck which was part of Justin's apology. He actually got me an ‘I'm sorry' gift. I'm not surprised that he skipped the flowers and chocolate and decided to go further by giving me a white gold necklace. I almost didn't accept it, thinking it was too much but then, he pulled out all these amazing body fragrances since I'm a sucker for those and I completely caved, thanking him by smothering him with my kisses which he gladly accepted.

It was a good night and I did forgive him eventually after he voiced his apologies countless times. I wasn't angry at him so that was easily cleared up. I understand that this entire situation is stressful.

Now, I'm snuggled up against him on his leather couch, laying on his lap with his hands slicking through my hair while he channel surfs.

I love our cuddle times. I cherish those because it's the simple things that make my love for him soar.

"Stick to one channel Justin." I giggle and he laughs along with me as he continues changing channels every five or so seconds.

"I'm looking for something good that we can watch. If I don't find anything I'm going into the DVD stash."

"Ok you pick since I know you have a fear of my chick flicks." I giggle.

"Oh you're not picking our movies anymore." he half-jokes.

"Whatever." I brush him off before making myself more comfortable.

When I hear him groan and shift beneath me I turn to lay on my back to gaze up at him. "What?"

"Could you...shift your head a little? You're sort of applying too much pressure to my uh central region." he smiles bashfully and I quickly catch on.

"Oh." Giggling, I fix myself on him, relieving him of the pressure against his crotch. "Sorry." I smirk and he returns the favor.

"We could always skip this and head upstairs." He suggests, wriggling his eyebrows but I decide to shoot him down for the heck of it, gazing into his anxious blues.

"No we're good." I smile, and he pouts playfully.

"You're no fun."

"Pssshhh..." is the only reply I give him since my voice is drowned out by a yawn.

Stretching my limbs out tiredly, I sigh with content as I think about our trip to Colorado coming up. I was going to try and convince him otherwise since I really do detest the cold but for Justin I can bare it. It's not really an issue and alone time is always a plus.

Before I can really get lost in my thoughts of just how I want us to spend our time together on the mountains indoors, I glance up at Justin when I feel his body tense beneath me. I can actually feel the muscles in his legs and torso tighten up when he takes in a sharp breath.

"Ju? What is it?" I ask as I gaze up at him realizing that his eyes are glued to the television screen.

Scowling, I shift my head to see what he's watching as he turns up the volume.

"Hey it's that TMZ show?" I ask, knowing that show is a paparazzi paradise where they basically stalk those poor celebrities.

"Shhh." Justin instructs and I frown, glaring at the screen realizing that I'm watching a video footage of Justin's restaurant Southern Hospitality in New York.

"Isn't that your restaurant?" I inquire and he hums in agreement.

"Yeah it is...I'm wondering what they have to say about it." Justin replies then goes silent as the host guy, whoever he is, gives the story of their latest celebrity encounter I'd assume.

"So in other not shocking but rather awkward news, our guys of TMZ caught up with a celebrity 'in his own right' and his date leaving this very restaurant Southern Hospitality in New York which you all may know belongs to superstar Justin Timberlake. Now this seems simple and you must be wondering why on earth we're reporting this. But here's the twist which we think would make for some very interesting media gossip since Mr. Timberlake himself is scheduled in New York this coming Christmas and New Years for promotional work with his new artist signed to his label Yolanda Glenmore."

"You see, we didn't catch a regular chart topper celebrity leaving Southern Hospitality but rather a certain heir to a wine empire better known as Christian Hemingway. He has made quite a name for himself in his own right since well, he's worth millions maybe billions of dollars. And, he has coincidentally in the past been loosely linked to Justin Timberlake himself as a lookalike even though it wasn't anything major. But that's not the akward part people..."

"I think what really caught us, and it would have been pointless had we not known this piece of information, was that Mr. Hemingway was in fact once dating Justin's current squeeze Jahzara Gilmore who is also Yolanda's PA. Hemingway and Gilmore reportedly dated back in their college days but no one knows the details and what really happened to end the relationship. But, now with Jahzara and Justin's little secret out, we can't help but wonder what Christian would have to say about that."

"We don't know much about what's going on there, if he and Jahzara still maintain contact and if he and Justin hate each other but we can only speculate at this point since Justin and Jahzara haven't exactly confirmed that they are indeed an item. We all know pictures tell a thousand words since the two have been photographed together but then again, pictures lie. Take it from an expert."

"Still, we found this to be very awkward and quite humorous. We're wondering what Justin and Jahzara would have to say to that. Possibly, Mr. Hemingway was showing that there were no hard feelings with his choice of restaurant? Or maybe he needs to catch up on the American Celebrity gossip rags..."

I'm completely frozen in place holding my breath when the video footage switches to a couple which I'm pretty sure is Christian and his date leaving the restaurant with the paps going crazy around them snapping pictures. I can faintly make out that they're asking him questions to which he responds ‘have a good night gentlemen' in his thick English accent.

Oh my freaking god...what the hell?

"What the hell?" I whisper, but Justin interrupts me when he busts out in laughter.

"Are those assholes serious? I mean it's just a fucking restaurant for peace sake. Unbelievable." He says through sobs but I'm still just staring at the screen long after they've switched over to the next big celebrity gossip news.

I think I'm in shock or something. I can't get over the picture of Christian on that screen ushering his date 'whoever she is' into their ride so they can leave. It was brief, but even then I was able to pick up on his signature smirk, his dark blonde hair and tall lean frame clad in a simple dress shirt and pants. Oh.my.god.

I haven't seen him in years and now...after all this time I get a glimpse of him on a fucking celebrity gossip show. This is insane. I have no idea how feel or what to think or...

"Berry?"

Snapping my head up, I instantly seat up straight, untangling Justin's hand from my hair before I fix myself where I'm resting against his chest and hugging him with my legs draping over him lazily.

"Yeah." I breathe out, my brain replaying that short clip of Christian over and over in my head. I can't...I don't even know....god he looked so different. I almost didn't recognize him.

"That was weird for you wasn't it?" Justin asks nonchalantly as his free arm circles around my waist and he begins rubbing my back affectionately.

"It was but...it's cool. I'm cool." Why should I care really? Ok so I haven't seen Christian in years, but I still shouldn't care.

Even if the last memory I have of him was when I was running away in tears after I caught him cheating and he tore my heart to shreds. I shouldn't care. That was a long time ago and I've healed since then. So really...I have no reason to care. Not when I have Justin here with me now. Tonight was amazing and I'm not about to let some stupid show that doesn't know shit about my life ruin it.

"I know you're not ok. But I'm going to entertain you. I'll leave the ball in your court that when you want to talk about anything at all, you'll let me know." Justin says in assurance and I nod while nestling my head against his chest.

"Ok, but it doesn't matter. I love you Ju. Yes it was weird, but that's all it was...just...a surprise I guess."

"That was the first time you've seen him in years right?" he asks and I can't lie.

"Yes." I say with displeasure.

"Ok. I'm sorry it had to be like that." Tightening his hold around me, Justin continues to channel surf until he lands on HBO just in time for us to catch the beginning of Vantage Point. "Oh sweet, that's a cool movie. Different but cool." Justin blurts out and I giggle, getting lost in his body heat and scent.

"Yeah it is...let's watch it." I state, and he places down the remote. When he leans down to kiss my forehead, I feel his smile against my skin. Strangely, it relaxes me and helps me to clear my mind for the most part.

"I love you baby; you mean the world to me so don't worry about anything because no matter what happens, I have no intention of letting you go. I promise." Justin whispers against me and I shut my eyes when I feel his warm breath on me. God I love him too, sometimes so much that it's petrifying.

My heartbeat instantly speeds up and I can feel my chest tightening due to his words; not because it's swelling with love for him too, which it is; not because I'm afraid that he doesn't mean it, I know that he does; but, because I'm terrified that even with his heartfelt promise, there could still be factors out there relentless and big enough to tear us apart.