A few days later

New Year's Eve

New York

Starting the New Year On a Good or Bad Note?

Part 1

"Another fresh new year is here . . . Another year to live! To banish worry, doubt, and fear, to love and laugh and give!" - William Arthur Ward

"Ugh! Can we take a break please?!" Yolanda whines.

Ducking my head so the people in the room don't see my smile, I laugh inaudibly, feeling genuinely sorry for her.

We've been in the studio all day with Yolanda and Esmee running through their songs and I think Yolanda has just about had all she can take. Justin is relentless today, wanting to get everything completed and perfected all at once. He's been a real hard ass with her all day and I'd speak up and ask him to go easy on her but he's a man on a mission and there really is no talking to him when his mind is made up.

"One more time Yol. It's the last time!" Justin growls through the microphone.

He's seated at the soundboard with Tim at his side as they both stare at Yolanda and Esmee in the recording booth, both standing before the microphone with their headphones on.

I suddenly feel for them that they're signed to Justin's Record Label. Poor girls. Justin doesn't play when he morphs into ‘boss mode,' that's for sure.

Yolanda shoots Justin an annoyed look and Esmee gives him more of a bored expression.

They've been singing the same thing over and over because every time, Justin thinks of ways to change the song around to supposedly make it better or whatever. I personally think they nailed it on the first try since we came in this morning but who am I to question an artist and his art?

It's the middle of the afternoon now and even I am tired of hearing the same song over and over. It's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day or maybe week...who knows?

"Justin...it's New Year's Eve! Can you please lighten up!?" Yolanda begs again and Justin releases a heavy sigh, clearly irritated with her whining.

"You're so spoilt Yol. Look if you guys can lay this chorus perfectly for me this time around with the changes I told you all to do for the harmonies then we're good. We have to get ready for the New Year's party later anyway." Justin speaks up and Yolanda instantly perks up. Esmee does as well, turning to tell Yolanda something that none of us can hear before they both get ready to sing their heart out.

So, I think it's safe to say that our last few days in New York have actually been going well so far.  Justin, Yolanda and Trace immediately dived into their planned schedules the next day after we arrived and it's been nonstop promotional work ever since between studio times.

I'm actually enjoying the fast life up here and haven't really thought much about anything else except getting through each day's hectic schedule.

Justin's done a few interviews here and there and Yolanda had a photo shoot just yesterday. Her career is well on its way and I'm proud of her.

I haven't seen much of my brother in the past few days which is a good and bad thing. It's good because he's too busy with his case to dwell on Justin and me but it's bad because I'm worried that the deeper he gets in this Jeremy thing, the more at risk he's putting himself. I definitely couldn't live through my brother getting hurt a second time around or worse. But I don't need to think about any of that. He and Drew are getting their leads to go on which is good.

Speaking of, I haven't told Justin about that text I got yet, but I'm thinking that I want to start the New Year on a good note so it would only be fair that I tell him soon...maybe today. Maybe Malcolm and Drew won't have too much looking to do to find Jeremy if he willingly comes to us instead.

I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to convince them to make that happen without them blowing a fuse and getting upset about it. I hate to say it, but I think if I even suggest the idea that I have, it would maybe be the first time that Justin and Malcolm team up on the same side. I'm not looking forward to that.

"Ok that's perfect guys!"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I frown when Justin turns down the volume to the instrumental of the track I've heard all day.

He hits a button on the soundboard and the song begins playing from the start again, this time with Yolanda and Esmee's vocals.

Smiling, I bob to the infectious tune before he spins around in his chair to glare at me.

I give him a half wave and he chuckles before telling Tim and the other people in the room something. Seconds later, he's out of his seat and strutting over to me.

"Come with me!?" He asks over the music, stretching his hand out to me and I grip it, allowing him to help me stand before he escorts us out of the room.

Still humming the song quietly, I follow Justin down the halls until we get to some room which he opens and pulls me into.

Stumbling forward, I quirk my brows at him when I make it out to be an ‘instrument' room of sorts. That's all that's in there...various instruments.

"What's going on Ju?" I ask him curiously as he moves around and grabs an acoustic guitar.

Coming back over to me, he takes a seat on one of the stools and I follow suit, sitting in front of him.

"Nothing...just needed a break." He shrugs and I eye him.

"Like the girls needed one?" I point out and he smiles sheepishly.

"They're done. I told Tim to wrap it up." He explains, strumming a few chords on the guitar.

"Uh huh ok. So why are we in here?" I question.

"I haven't gotten a chance to be alone with you all day berry." He pouts lightly, his blues fixated on my hazels and I smile.

"Aw, but I've been with you guys all day though. This is work Justin. I understand."

"I know but I kind of hate it...not the music part...." He voices, trailing off. "I'm slowly being sucked into my old lifestyle which I was able to get away from mostly when I was in Florida and all I had to really worry about was my clothing line and label. I knew this was coming the moment Yolanda and I started working on our albums but I guess I never really focused on it until we got here and shit, have you seen our schedules? It's ridiculous!" He laughs sadly, still strumming away.

"I'm ok with it. I know you're only like this because you're worried about me and the whole public thing but I can deal." I state.

"Can you really berry or are you just telling yourself that?" He's dead serious now, not a hint of a smile on his face or laughter in his voice.

"Well..."

"Johnny wants us to announce our relationship at the New Year's party tonight. To make it official with the people who are like us in the entertainment industry and would understand I guess before we tackle the general public. He thinks it's best to start the New Year on a good note." Justin blurts out and I nod.

Well, that would explain why his mood is so damp. He's worried, maybe nervous. Can't say I'm not the same.

"Oh..." Is all I manage to get out and Justin heaves an sigh before he starts plucking the strings of the guitar, playing some song I'm not familiar with.

"If you don't want to..." But I interrupt him.

"No, no we need to right? I mean there are pictures of us and rumors out there floating already. It's only fair we clear the air right?" This isn't easy for me, but for Justin I can cope.

"But I don't think you're ready Zara." Lifting his head to stare at me, he bites his bottom lip before he casts his vision back to the instrument in his hands.

"Hey I'm good Ju I promise. We're doing this for us and for your fans so don't worry about it. Dr. Lake is just a call away but I've been doing well. You really shouldn't worry so much."

"I guess." He shrugs and I giggle.

"Is that why you dragged me in here?" I question and that's when I see his lips tug into a soft smile.

"I mean it's Tim's big New Year's bash. Tons of celebrities are going to be there. I only want to make sure that we'll be on the same wavelength."

"We're good." I assure him, beaming and he chortles lightly before placing the guitar down on the side to stand.

"Good." Standing, Justin pulls me up with him and I wrap my hands around his neck.

Breathing in deeply to calm my nerves, I pass my fingers over the soft, short strands of hair on his head. "Your hair grows faster than mine Justin." I voice and he laughs loudly.

"Imagine the fro I'd have if I allowed it to grow out and never cut it again." He chuckles, staring down at me intently.

"Yeah, you'd be looking like curly afro Justin from your N'sync days." I snicker.

"Please berry." He groans, cringing in disgust. "Don't remind me. I have no idea what I was thinking."

"You were clearly confused." I quip.

"Clearly. Though the fans seemed to have loved the fro strangely enough." Justin chortles.

"You were a cutie." I confirm. "But the braids...never again in your life." I giggle.

"Don't worry, even I am appalled that there's photographic proof of that shit." Justin muses.

"And video proof!" I add in causing him to roll his eyes.

Grinning, he leans down and captures my lips in a sweet kiss. When he pulls away, he licks at his lips, still eyeing me.

"So tell me, just how much of an N'sync fan were you?" Justin questions and my eyes widen in shock.

"What!?"

"You heard me berry...don't make me tickle it out of you." He warns with a mischievous smile. "Did you go to any of our concerts?"

Oh god, where did this come from? I can practically hear the wheels in his brain turning now.

"If you must know, I only went to one you all had in Orlando when you all were touring once and I was one of those fans with the printed t-shirt and poster saying...JC Marry Me!" I wisecrack, watching how Justin's smile instantly falls.

"Seriously?" He asks me shocked, taking a few steps away from me. "That hurts Zara." He says, pointing to his heart for effect.

That man I tell you.

"You're so full of shit Justin. Your fans were allowed to like all five members of the group or have a favorite that wasn't you." I counter cheerily and he chuckles before walking back up to me and encircling his arms around my waist.

"You just admitted to being a fan. This is priceless." He laughs out. "But yeah, you can never meet JC again. What you said just confirmed it. Sucks for him though because I got you first." Justin jokes, sticking out his tongue at me childishly. Aw, he's too cute. "We should maybe head back to check on the others so we can leave and get back to the hotel. The party starts at ten tonight but I was thinking our group could grab something to eat before since Tim mainly catered for the alcohol and dessert like treats."

Releasing his hold on me, Justin motions for us to exit the room and head back to our group but I hesitate when my mind drifts to unwanted territory. I can't keep this from him. I...I have to tell him.

"Jeremy text messaged me a few days ago!" I blurt out suddenly and I hold my breath when I see Justin's body tense and he freezes solid in front of the door about to twist the knob open.

*****

What did Zara just say?

I couldn't have possibly heard her right.

Ok fuck that. I know I heard her right but...

"What?" I question, whipping around to stare at her with wide disbelieving eyes.

"I know how this sounds but...he did...he messaged me a few days ago." She explains, fiddling with her nails and I frown deeply as I pay close attention to her annoying nail habit.

"Ok..." I drawl calmly, folding my arms across my chest, glowering at her.

I've had a hell of a long day. She needs to not play games with me right now.

If there's one thing I've learned is yelling or screaming and arguing gets us nowhere. It only makes things worse. So, in light of this new information, I'm trying my best to keep my cool but Zara needs to start talking because I'm quickly losing that battle.

"Before you get all angry with me Ju, let me explain."

"So explain." I spit.

"Well, here..." Digging in the pocket of her jeans, she roots out her cell phone and hands it to me. I take it from her cautiously glaring at it like it's diseased. "Jeremy messaged me the night we arrived in New York and since I knew you were already too worked up because of Malcolm and just everything, I didn't want to upset you more so I didn't tell you about it right then. I wasn't going to keep it from you for too long again, so now was a perfect time since we've been so busy and on the move in the last few days. I hope you're not mad at me. Just, scroll through the messages and you'll see it. It's the last one I received. The number's blocked but maybe Malcolm might know how to still trace it." She explains as I slowly navigate through her phone to her text messages.

Sure enough, the message is there alright.

I carefully read it, my temper slowly rising with each fuckin' word that I read up to the very end when the asshole has the heart to sign his name as ‘Jer' and not Jeremy, like he and Zara are ‘ok' now.

"He's sorry!?" I mutter mindlessly before handing back Zara her phone. "He's fuckin' sorry!? That's it!?" I snap, shaking my head in disdain.

"Justin..." But I cut her off immediately.

"You're not going. You know that right!?" I voice, my blues piercing her hazels. "I don't care how genuine he comes off, you're not meeting him. I don't trust the dick. He's up to something. Has he contacted you since?" I ask her and she quickly shakes her head ‘no.' "Good, because next time he does, he'll deal with me." I growl angrily. "Have you told Malcolm?"

"No." Zara pouts, stuffing her phone back in her pocket.

"You have to tell him." I state. "He needs to know."

"That's just it Ju." Zara begins and why do I feel like I'm not going to like whatever it is she's going to say?

"What's just it Zara?" I enquire, passing my hands over my head in frustration. I don't need this now. We have a crazy fuckin' life ahead of us for the next month. I really don't need this shit now. Not like I thought we could have gotten away from it, but I never expected Jeremy to be the one to take the initiative in contacting any of us. I think I was more expecting Malcolm and Drew to track him down and bust him against his will. I really don't trust ‘gym boy.' He's such a pain in my ass right now.

"Malcolm will know because...because this could be an advantage for him and Drew." She utters and hold up what?

"What? I'm not following Zara."

"They're looking for Jeremy right? So, think about it. They won't have to look for him anymore if he comes to us instead."

No, no she can't be implying what I think because there's just no way!

"Zara..." I sigh, on the verge of exploding if she doesn't shut up soon. I don't want to hear this.

"Justin don't you see!? Jeremy wants me to meet him in person. Think of how great that would be if I agreed and could pull him out of hiding. Then Malcolm and Drew could take him in and..."

"Ok just stop!" I yell, startling her. "You're out of your fucking mind Zara if you think for a second I'm going to go along with this. I'm not going to let you put yourself in harm's way and I know for a fact Malcolm will not agree to this so just drop it! We'll figure something else out but letting you meet up with Jeremy!? Out of the fuckin' question!" I growl angrily.

She's scowling at me now, but I'm ignoring it. I simply turn to leave, wanting this conversation to end, but she stops me by gripping my arm and spinning me around to face her.

Ok, I'm shocked right now that she'd handle me like that but my shock instantly dies when I see the fire in her eyes.

"Justin you read the text right? This is the only way...the only way we'll get the answers we need from Jeremy to end this shit. I'm so tired. I want this to end and I know you want it to end too. He won't cooperate if he feels threatened by you all. I'm not going to be alone. You guys will be there...just...not where he can see you, not until we get a confession or something out of him. I know it's dangerous or whatever but what other choice do we have Justin!? Do you want his so called friends to try and get at us again? I'm thinking the only reason we haven't even heard from them in a while is because of Jeremy. I...want...this...to...end!" She spits furiously and I bite the corner of my mouth as my blues search her face.

"I mean come on! You really think Malcolm will let anything happen to me? I know you'd maybe be on his side for this, but Ju, think about it. Just, you don't have to tell me anything now, but, think about it ok? Because, I'm going to need you on my side when we go to my brother with this."

Shit...she can't be serious. Malcolm hates my guts. If I tell him I'm ok with his sister putting her neck on the line for some greater good, he'd maybe pull out his gun and out me on the spot. And I'm really not ok with this. Fuck.

"Shit..." I heave, bowing my head in thought. I know what she's saying. This might be our only chance to get to Jeremy. But I don't like it.

I've only ever seen this shit in movies...where people go undercover for the cops to get a confession out of a criminal by being wired up and bugged underneath their clothes. It doesn't always turn out well and I sure as hell don't want berry mixed up in this. Plus, I'd never forgive myself if...

"Fuck, Zara." I whine, staring at her intensely. "Just...let me...let me think about it." I cave and she cheers up, nodding in understanding.

Let me think about it? Shit, I've thought about it. My head and heart are both screaming ‘no' so I can't figure for the life of me why the word's not spilling out of my lips in absolute protest. I guess it's because I can see how much this means to Zara just by looking at her. And, if she doesn't have me to support her then she'll have no one and while I want to tell her how stupid and dumb I think she is, I can't bring myself to do it because I can only imagine how it is on her end...in her shoes.

She's already blaming herself for this. I can't...not be there for her. I love her. And, I wish there was another way but she's maybe right. This might be the only way to pull Jeremy out from hiding and clear this mess up once and for all.

And my hate for him has grown just a bit more thanks to that fact.

"Should we go now?" Zara questions when she notices how dazed I am.

"Yeah...yeah let's go." I voice, gripping her hand tightly and leading her out of the room so we can catch up with everyone else in the studio to head out for the rest of the day.

Ok, ok, let's look at the positives.

Jeremy hasn't contacted her again yet, so that buys us some time to talk to Malcolm about this. I have no idea how that's going to turn out but I can only hope for the best.

Most importantly, it's New Year's Eve and we have a New Year's bash to attend later compliments of my best bud Timbaland.

So, I should focus on that. That's a good thing. We'll be out with our friends, partying and enjoying ourselves as we toast in the New Year.

Zara and I will make our little announcement that we're official and the rest of the night should be fun without any spoilers.

Yeah, thinking about that is definitely calming me down as Zara and I make it back into the studio room just in time to see everyone packing up to leave.

I mean, this isn't all bad. My birthday is coming up soon also which means my mom will be coming to visit.

They say that the way you bring in the New Year determines how the rest of your year will be right?

So, still focusing on the positives here, I have every intension of making sure that we bring in the New Year on a good note because I for one will not be able to live through another year filled with chaos and drama like I've had to endure in this past year.