Next Day...

Early Saturday evening...

VMA's Night

One Step Closer - Part 1

"The TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can be painful."

"Of course I'm ready for tonight. Why wouldn't I be?" I pause momentarily as I stare at myself in the 360 degree mirror. I watch intently as my stylist opens the glass door and walks in with a black tie in hand. Smiling at her, I divert my attention to the cell phone pressed against my ear.

"I just assumed you'd be nervous for Yolanda baby. I've heard she's been doing really well." Comes my mother's warm southern twang over the line. Damn, I can't wait to head home for thanksgiving and Christmas. I really miss my family.

"I got it on locked Ma. I'm not nervous for her. She's going to do great. Besides, she has Jahzara to be nervous with." I joke, briefly removing the phone from my ear so my stylist can wrap the tie around my neck.

"Oh yes. Speaking of that young lady, is she the one Johnny talked about who is such a keeper? She's Yolanda's PA right? The one who's rumored to be having an affair with you?"

I groan inwardly at my mother's line of questioning. "Ma!" I scold her.

"Ok Justin. It's fine baby. I'm sorry; I don't mean to pry. I'm just curious. I saw some photos the paparazzi took out of her. She's a very beautiful black woman. She looks tall too...and natural." My mom voices. It's her indirect way of saying Zara is different than most women I've dealt with.

"I know mom. I know." I reply with a sigh of content. I'm pretty sure she caught on because I can almost see her smiling on the other end of the line.

"You have feelings for her don't you baby? Those aren't just rumors are they? She seems nice. I'd like to meet her some time." Mom beams. Well, I'd like them to meet too but that's not possible right now. I'm not in the mood to discuss the relationship I have with berry or lack thereof. I'll be lectured for years to come by my mother if I do.

"She has a boyfriend mom." I reply dejectedly.

"That's never stopped you before Justin. Just be careful and protect your heart. I don't want you to get hurt baby." She coos. I know she's right. My mom is always right. If she only knew that I'm already hurting this very second and I don't even know why.

"I know mom. I mean it's not like we've done anything. We just get along great and she's also going to be my assistant so...." I'm cut off by my mother's ranting.

"Sweetie, you can't deny your heart. By the dreamy tone in your voice, I can tell you have feelings for this woman that's deeper than any employee. Again, I just want you to be careful because I love you. And I'll be here if you need me."

"I know Ma. I mean I have a girlfriend now too you know..." Shit, I shouldn't have said that. I can hear her breathing become rigid. My mother always hated when I rushed into relationships. And the fact that there was no mention of a special girl in my life before this piece of information, she knows it was a spur of the moment thing for me. And it really was. I didn't even really ask Mallory. I just basically said, ‘So, I'll see you when I get back babe. And if any guy tries to mess with you tell them you're taken.' Yeah not very subtle but I couldn't ask her directly. It was only after I watched her board the plane nearly in tears of joy that I realized what I did. She thinks we're official now. I'm a little scared to find out how that's going to play out when I do get back to Florida. Did I mention we leave LA tomorrow night on my private Jet? I can't believe those two months are already over. Time really flies.

"Justin? Hello?"

I can hear my mom calling out to me on the phone and it's then I've realized I spaced out. Oh no, Zara is rubbing off on me. Damn.

"Sorry Ma. Listen. I'm just going to go. I'll call you when I reach FL tomorrow night ok? And I'll let you know how the show went." I explain.

"Ok baby. And I told you to please be careful with this new girlfriend and I want to meet her when you feel the time is right. I'm going to head out too. Paul is waiting for me. We are heading over to the Ayala's for dinner." She states and I nod even though she can't see me.

If it's left to me, my mother will never meet Mallory. I just, I don't want this to be more complicated by allowing her into my family. "Ok Ma, have fun. Bye." I swiftly click the end button on my phone. I guess Trace was right. He did say my family was going over to his house when he spoke to his parents on the phone.

"All done." I hear my stylist say and I divert my gaze to the mirror. Looking at my attire I smile widely. I look good. But then I always do.

"Nice." I voice and she beams with pride, dusting off some lint on my shoulder.

"Your three piece black tux is spectacular Justin. You'll get some serious attention tonight." She muses and I chuckle lightly as I step down from the block.

I'm hoping I catch one lucky lady's attention tonight but she doesn't need to know that. No one needs to know. I like this being only berry and my secret. It makes everything more intense and interesting.

"Well, the show is in an hour so, I'm going to pick up the gang and head off in our limo to the show. Thanks a lot Meg." I give her a tight hug and she pats my back lightly before I exit the dressing room and the building she claimed for her business by being a celebrity stylist.

On my way into the limo, I hit speed dial on my phone waiting for Trace to pick up as Mike and Lonnie hop in behind me and the limo pulls out into the busy streets of LA. Everyone is running around for the VMA's today. It's going to be one crazy ass night.

"Dude!" Trace belts into the line hurting my ear.

"Damn it Trace." I wince, but listen intently when I hear loud noises in the background. "Where are you?" I ask.

"I'm at your house dummy. Everyone is just busy moving around getting ready for tonight. Listen, Buckley and Brennan nearly attacked Yolanda's stylist who came over to help Yolanda and Zar-bear get ready. Anyway, Rachel and I have it under control and he said he won't press charges because dogs will be dogs." Trace snickers. Hold on, Buckley and Brennan did what? That's not like them at all.

"They didn't bite him did they?" I ask hopefully.

"Na, Ramon is fine. But man, the red carpet starts soon. Get your ass over here to pick us up; the women are almost ready....." Trace drifts off as he lets out a loud whistle.

"What? Trace is everything ok?" I'm getting nervous. I'm going to have a heart to heart with my dogs. They don't pull shit like that when I'm not around. I guess Rachel was right. It's my fault. They're on edge and antsy because I'm hardly ever around. Thank god they are going back to Florida with me. I'd miss them too much if they stayed in LA.

"Wow..." Trace breathes out. Ok, now he's being ridiculous.

"T what the fuck man?" I snap. "What's going on?"

"Man, you've got to see Yolanda and Zara. But mainly Zara. What a knockout. They just came out from the room so we're all ready to go but, holy shit! I didn't even think Zar-bear was that hot before and...wow, I just fell in love..." Trace mutters and I frown with confusion. I'll kill him if he goes near her. Trace can be quite the pervert.

"Whatever man. Just lay off...I'll be there shortly. Bye." He tells me bye as well and I hang up.

Now I'm anxious. My legs are bouncing up and down and I can't contain my excitement. The best thing about all this is that Jeremy won't be there. He couldn't make it because he had to travel back to Florida tonight on short notice; something to do with family. I really don't care. I'm just happy I get the last day with Zara alone. But now I can't wait to see her. If she looks as good as Trace says, I know I'm going to have a heart attack when I set eyes on her. I'm really becoming addicted. It's not just a game anymore. My feelings and heart are on the line. I'll be damned if I allow her to fuck me up in any way. Shit, how do I even deal with this? How can I do this to her? I haven't even told her about Mallory. Oh god, she's going to hate me. They're both going to hate me.

"Chill out Justin. We're almost there." Mike's deep voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I give him a meek grin before I divert my attention out the windows for the rest of the ride to my estate.

****

I'm nervous out of my damn mind. I'm just about ready to empty my stomach contents all over Trace if he doesn't back the hell up and I'm not even the one performing tonight. I can't do this. I can't have those people dissecting me so openly and in public. I'll die of embarrassment. Looking down at myself I can feel the vomit rising in my throat. How could I allow Ramon to talk me into wearing this dress? It's like the same shit I went through with Jeffery Rush the night we went out to Tim's club and I danced with Justin. Jeffery forced me to wear a hooker outfit that night. If it wasn't for him, Justin would have never noticed me if I wore my baggy jeans and shirt. We would have never danced and I'd not be in this current situation. Oh yes, I'm pointing fingers and right now I blame Jeffery for my current nausea. Plus, Jeremy had to leave for home earlier than expected. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong; he just said it was a family issue. I would have gone back with him if I didn't need to be at the show tonight. Oh man, I really hope Justin likes this outfit and doesn't think I look like a fat hot mess in this. I'm really self-conscious right now.

"Trace, I will not pose as your girlfriend for the press tonight, so stop asking me." I snap, pushing him away.

"Come on Zar-bear. People would be so envious! And it would help your situation with Justin if they thought we were together." He gives me a cheeky grin and I giggle a bit.

"I'm with Jeremy." I enforce.

"So?! Justin is still getting action. Why can't I?" He pouts for me and I actually smack him behind the head. "Hey! What was that for?" He defends, rubbing the sore spot.

"For being a nuisance. And I will not entertain your comment." I reprimand watching him scowl.

"You're no fun Zar-bear." Trace says sadly.

"Aww, I love you too Tracey-poo." I coo hearing someone clear their throat loudly behind us.

Whipping around, a large smile adorns my face as I take in Justin's form. Oh, he's handsome. He looks dashing in his black suit and he has a freshly shaven face. I'd love to run my hands over his smooth baby skin. I could just eat him up right now. His black leather shoes are shinning with perfection and his brown hair is perfectly groomed with cute curls at the end. Damn. "You look great Ju!" I supply and he nods with gratitude.

"Finally you're here!" Trace raises his hands in the air for effect. "I'm going to call Rachel and Yolanda so we can leave." And just like that, he maneuvers around Justin leaving us alone in the living room.

Justin has an unidentifiable expression plastered on his face as he approaches me. Looking down at me, he lifts his hand to brush a lose tendril out of my eye before he leans down and brushes his lips delicately against mine. I inhale deeply as he pulls away, and he finally breaks out into a toothy grin. "You look..." He trails off as he grips unto my waist, massaging my sides softly. "You...wow." He bows his head still keeping his smile as he seems to be lost in thought.

"I look terrible I know." I supply causing him to snap his head up.

"Oh no berry. I didn't mean that. I'm trying to think of a word to describe you. Somehow radiant, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, spectacular...and I could go on forever...just don't cut it. I'm truly as a lost for words. God you look..." He chuckles slightly as I notice his cheeks reddening.

"Justin? Are you blushing?" I ask in shock and he shakes his head frantically causing me to smile.

"What? No I just...you...you truly are something berry. You've got me all tongue tied and shit. Damn." He growls, pulling me flush against his chest for a hug and I laugh. Justin? Tongue tied? This is a historical moment.

"Thanks I guess." I mutter against his chest.

Pulling away, he frowns at me. "I've got it. You look...‘berrilicious'." He laughs when my eyes grow wide.

"Berr-what?" I inquire.

"Berrilicious." He states again with a straight face. "I'd like to say it's my word invention to incorporate all the positive words I could use to describe how breathtaking you look right now."

He actually has a confident smile due to his little invention. It's kind of cute. "You're lame Justin." I giggle and he laughs along with me.

"Yeah but you love me like that." He retorts.

"No complaints here." I smile, just as Yolanda and Rachel walk into the room. They both look beautiful. Sometimes I wish I was a small as them in size. Life would be so much easier.

We're all wearing some designer dress. Yolanda has on a long silk navy blue Gucci dress with a V cut at the front and back. It's perfect for her slender frame and it compliments her perfectly. She's also wearing her long blonde hair down in spirals. Rachel has on a red long Prada gown that's simple yet elegant with a smooth glow to it. She's not really the kind to dress up like this, but Justin threatened her, so she had no choice. And me? Well, Ramon (Yolanda's stylist) actually pulled off the craziest thing. He got a gown made in my size by Vera Wang. I know; it shocked me into stupidity too. It's a Vera Wang one-of-a-kind black strapless satin ball gown with scalloped hem and beautifully detailed bows in the back to be exact. Not to mention it's giving off a hell of a lot of cleavage. I know it is, because Trace's eyes were glued to my chest earlier. Again I say...men.

"Ok! Since we are all ready and dressed to kill, let's get out of here. We don't want to be late for the red carpet." Trace voices, leading everyone out of the mansion.

I hear Justin apologize to Ramon about his dogs on the way out as Rachel, comes into view with Buckley and Brennan. Justin quickly pets them and tells them bye as his cousin exits after Ramon.

Slumping my shoulders a bit I try to prepare myself for the inevitable. Tailing behind the group, I feel someone grip unto my arms tightly. Flipping around, I'm greeted with a smiling Justin.

"Don't worry berry. Everything will be ok alright? Just, give the media short simple responses when asked questions and no matter what they ask you, always smile like you're unaffected. It's no big deal girl, calm down. Everything will be ok. I'll be right there. Once you get past the red carpet you're good, I promise." He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and it actually calms me down a bit.

"Ok." I breathe out.

"Ok?" He enquires, examining my facial expressions. I feel like throwing up again.

"Ok." I enforce with a tight smile.

"Ok then." Justin echoes, pulling me along with him out of the house and towards the limo. Well, this is it. It's the beginning of the end of my life. I'll forever be psychologically damaged. I don't think I can handle being around all these famous beautiful people at one time. I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb. Oh hell.

"I can do this..." I mumble once I'm securely in the limo.

"Yes you can." Justin whispers back, rubbing my hand affectionately. I wasn't aware that he heard me silently prepping myself for the night. I'm glad he did though, because his smile is enough to set me at ease right now. He's right. I can most definitely do this. I don't really have a choice. Well, here goes nothing...

*

I got past the red carpet with little bumps and bruises. Justin was right there to save me like he said he would be. It was all so dazzling and it happened so fast, everything is still a blur to me. Of course, I was greeted with the same questions. The reporters questioned me about my job, Yolanda, what it's like working for Justin, my family, Jeremy and if the rumors about Justin and I were true. Justin overheard when they were hounding me about him and he quickly came over to clear the air. They even joked about it. It was amazing seeing him in his natural element and how comfortable he seemed to be. But that comes with practice and years in the business.

I know there are going to be a million photos of me because the flashes just wouldn't end. I even noticed the same photographer who asked me the questions about Justin the night of Yolanda's club show. He gave me the slyest smile and I just had to avoid eye contact. I haven't exactly told Justin about that little encounter. I mean that was the night I was trying to get away from him after he humiliated me because he was high.

We also met Johnny Wright who answered a few questions with us about work to the media. He gave me a good pep talk too before he disappeared to do his thing I guess. It was nice seeing him again though. He's been my savior in all this. Unfortunately, since Justin didn't do any work musically the past year because he's been focusing on his business; he wasn't nominated for any awards tonight. So, it was a good break for him as he voiced to MTV while on the carpet. They are, however, expecting big things from him next year and guess what? I get to be there and go along for the ride. Not the best news to digest in front of all these people but what can you do?

All in all the red carpet went smoothly. We're all seated at our assigned seats now. Rachel excused herself earlier for what ever reason, and I haven't seen her since. Justin doesn't seem to mind, so I guess it's cool. There is a space between Trace and I where Jeremy was supposed to be. I really miss him oddly enough but I'm still glad he's not here. It would give me an opportunity to hang with Justin. I'm so terrible.

Glancing around the room, I can't contain my amazement that I'm in the same room with all these wonderful people. "Oh I really hope I see Robin Thicke". I think out loud, causing Trace to shoot me a perplexed look, but he doesn't say anything. What can I say? Robin is just amazing.

"Oh my god I'm going to faint..."

Snapping my head in Justin's direction, I forget about my endless thoughts when I see him hugging Yolanda and skimming her back gently. Oh no, is she getting stage fright? That can't be good.

"Shh it's ok Yolanda. You're not going to faint. You're going to do great. They're going to love you." He assures, still hugging her.

"I can't Justin! I can't! I'll...what if I mess up? In front of all these people? I can't even remember my dance moves! Oh my god..." She chokes out, latching unto his shoulders as she eyes me, pleading for me to help her in some way.

"Yolanda, calm down." Justin states in a firm tone. "You'll be fine. Now is not the time to chicken out. You won't forget anything."

"Justin, maybe I should go with her to the bathroom to freshen up. She'll be fine." I suggest and Yolanda quickly lets Justin go, grabbing my hands for us to stand.

"Are you sure?" He asks skeptically. "Do you want me to come?"

"No Ju. It's ok. We'll be fine." I ensure.

"Ok, but hurry back. She has to go backstage in twenty minutes to prepare for her performance. She's opening the show berry." He reminds me and I nod.

"Why do you always call her berry? What's that about?" Yolanda suddenly enquires out of no where. She's eyeing the both of us too as she latches unto my arm.

"Uh, it's just a nickname." Justin begins rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, while staring at me to help him out. Oh so why am I the voice of reason now?

"I know that. But how did she get it? I've always meant to ask."

Miss Glenmore is being really nosy right now.

"Because he thinks I always smell like strawberries." I admit watching at Justin's eyes grow wide. He needs to chill out. She's not going to think anything of that statement.

"Oh! Well I guess it makes sense. You kind of always do..." She leans forward to sniff me and smiles. "You do now too. Come on let's go." Yolanda grips my hand and pulls me along with her. As we make our way out of the row and into the isle, I turn back around to shrug for Justin and Trace who smile for me before I disappear out of the main room with Yolanda.

After using the bathroom and giving Yolanda a small pep talk, we exit through the doors arm in arm. I think she's ok to perform now. She just had a case of the nerves. On our way back to the main room where the award show is being held, we bounce into Timbaland. There are tons of celebrities running all around the place. It's really chaotic in here. The media does a good job of not broadcasting the craziness that goes on at these shows. I think I just saw Lil' Kim pass by with half her body exposed and her high heels in hand. Those artists are missing a few screws in their heads. I know that much.

"Hey ladies. Good luck tonight." Tim gives us both a hug and I smile at the contact. It's nice hugging him. He's all muscular and what not. I like it.

"Thanks Tim. We're just going to head back to Justin so we can get Yolanda backstage for her performance." I explain.

"Oh that's great. Break a leg girl." He smiles for Yolanda and she nods in response before she tells him bye and pulls me along back to our seat.

"Well bye Tim!" I call out to him.

"I'll see you all are the after party." He voices and I frown as we make our way back to Justin and Trace.

After party? Justin never mentioned anything like that to me. I don't do well at social gatherings. I try to avoid them. This won't turn over well.

Finally reclaiming our seats, Justin smiles for us waiting to hear the latest news.

"She's fine." I assure him and he nods, just before we hear them call Yolanda backstage over the intercom system.

"Well this is it." Standing, Yolanda brushes her hands against her dress as she looks over at us. "Wish me luck." She exclaims, beginning to walk away.

"Hold on. Don't you want me to come with you?" I inquire. I'm not sure how these things work exactly. This is my first award show.

"No I'm fine. Marty and Ramon are back there waiting. Just, let me know how I do. Bye!" She waves to us and quickly disappears into the crowd, heading for her dressing room or where ever it is she has to go.

"I'm her PA. Shouldn't I be with her?" I eventually whisper to Justin who has his eyes glued to the stage as they prepare to begin the show.

"Na. She'll be fine. Don't worry berry." He grips my hands, finally turning to make some eye contact. "They're getting ready to start soon." He adds.

"Man that after party better be off the chain." Trace interjects.

"Yeah, how comes you didn't tell me Justin? I met Tim out in the hall." I nudge his side, hearing him let out a light sigh.

"That's cool but, would you have gone if I told you?"

"No." I admit.

"Ok then. We're going, but we won't stay long. I've got other plans."

Eyeing him strangely, I wait for him to continue but he remains quiet, just as Jamie Fox takes the stage with a mic in hand.

"What other plans Justin?" I finally enquire. Curiosity is killing me right now.

"Not important." He mutters, shhhing me in the process as Jamie begins to talk into the mic cracking a few jokes.

"Justinnnnnnn...." I whine, giggling when he shoots me a death glare.

"Oh no. Don't start that shit now Zara." He warns, letting my hand go.

"What plans?" I relent.

"None of your business." He smirks.

"Justinnnnnnn...."

"Oh my fucking god Zara...seriously. Are you going to do that now?" He stares at me chortling lightly.

"Tell me what plans."

"Plans for what?" He's acting dumb but it's not going to work on me. He has this innocent look on his face too, like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. That sneaky bastard.

"Justinnnnnnn......"

"Shut up!" Trace groans, pinching my arm harshly.

"Owww...hey that hurt you moron." I snap at him, rubbing the sore spot.

"Good." Trace shoots me an evil stare and I can hear Justin chuckling under his breath.

Just as I'm about to annoy them again, Jaime Fox finally says "Welcome to the annual MTV Video Music awards..." before the list of all the artists present at the show flows across the screen. Well, this is it. Yolanda is about to come out and perform in a few minutes. I'm anxious and nervous for her. I feel like I'm going to throw up again. Please let her do well.

"Our girl is coming out soon." I beam.

"Yeah." Justin sighs with pride. "She's going to blow them away."

"I know she is." I smile resting back in my seat.

A few minutes later, Jamie finally announces Yolanda on stage and I listen intently as everyone cheers her on. It's not long before the lights dim and the intro of her single filters through the speakers filling the massive room. As if on cue, the crowd's screams intensify and at that moment, I know everything it going to go great for her.

Just as I'm beginning to get engrossed with all the bright flashing multicolored lights, Justin leans towards me to whisper in my ears. The chills that run up and down my spine when he does that are definitely disrupting my concentration on Yolanda right now.

"Just so you don't bug me with your whining for the rest of the night, I'm letting you know that my plans just happen to be a surprise that involves you. But that's all I'm sharing. You'll have to wait and see." He says in a low raspy whisper, sealing his statement with a kiss on my cheek.

Trying to regain my breath from how utterly steamy that simple act was, I forcefully connect my hazels to his blues that seem shades darker than usual. Grinning at me, he diverts his attention to the stage and all I can do at this moment is remember how to breathe as I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Ah, it never gets old...this game we keep playing with each other, but I'm kind of ready for it to end. In fact, if I have to, I'll end it soon. All I have to be is patient. Even though I'm desperately refraining from touching or feeling on Justin right now, patience will solve everything.

****

Quote by: Unkown