I hadn't slept in twenty-four hours, I couldn't get Justin off of my mind, I'd come home to a dorm room that was a fucking jungle and I had a Biology test in less than half an hour.

Less than a day ago, Justin's lips had been on mine, and I'd been in a seventh heaven that I didn't even know existed for me. Now I was back in Vegas, my asshole roommate had left our room a complete zoo and I was about to be late for a test that I was destined to fail.

I'd never realized how happy Justin made me until I was away from him. On one hand, the kiss we'd had in the airport the day before was amazing--and a very long time coming. On the other hand, though, it wasn't so amazing. Mostly because I couldn't focus on anything but the kiss, which proved to be a catastrophe for a girl who has a Bio test to study for.

No matter how important I knew the test was, wander, my mind did.

I tried to will myself not to think about him as I stood in the middle of my dorm room with my Biology book in my hands. I was quickly flipping through the pages, never more thankful that I wasn't like other kids. I didn't have to read through the eighty-five pages that was chapter eleven. I was special, and all I had to do was flip through the damn thing and I would have all the information I needed.

Unfortunately, what I had in reading skill I completely lacked in conservation. I could read that chapter a million times, but when it came to remembering everything I'd read... I was a goner. I needed notes, I needed soothing music, I need several hours in a place away from everything to read those notes until the information was so drilled into my head that Jesus himself couldn't brainwash that shit out of me.

I flipped through the chapter over and over as the vacuum clear rolled all over the room, around my bare feet and under every spacious crevice. The microwave was running to my left, warming up a toaster struddle that I would inhale during my mad dash across the campus. In front of me the pillows on my bed flew to the headboard, the sheets tightened under the mattress and the blanket was floating down on top of it where it would land perfectly. The stereo behind me shuffled slowly through the tracks on my Avant cd until it landed on the one I studied with. Trash from every corner of the room circled above my head and would eventually find it's home in the trash at the corner of my room.

Burn's had never understood how I concentrated on so many things at once. What he couldn't understand was that it didn't take concentration, anymore. I barely had to think about it. If I wanted trash in the trash, it got done, if I needed the floor vacuumed, it got vacuumed.

Halfway through my fifth attempt at chapter eleven, I heard a familiar sound behind me.

The sound of the door hitting the wall.

My heart stopped and the Biology book teetered on the tips of my trembling fingers, eventually toppling and landing on the floor with a thump. I knew the odds of it being Justin on the other side of the door behind me was slim to none.

I turned on my heel, praying that I was completely imagining things, and almost throwing up when my eyes came in contact with the bright blue ones that belonged to my nightmare of a roommate.

The vacuum cleaner's dull buzz came to a quick halt and the entire contraption hit the floor. The light in the microwave burnt out, leaving my strudel half cooked. My blanket landed sloppily on the floor somewhere next to my feet. Every piece of trash in the air came plummeting to the ground. A half full soda can came down above my head and got me good right in my temple.

Before I could stop myself I screamed, "Fuck!" and grabbed my temple, shooting my eyes angrily at the foil can. The second I did this it stopped falling, mid air, and flew towards the wall in the direction I was looking. It smashed into the plaster so hard that the entire can crumpled down to a flat circle before hitting the floor.

I really needed to work on my anger problems.

Kim was staring at me. Her eyes were so wide I was momentarily frightened that they would pop right from her skull. She was carrying a mess of books in her arms and, much like my biology book, they went toppling from her grip. I could see the exact moment when she accepted what she was looking at wasn't just her imagination. And when her eyes flew to mine, I was quietly begging. Begging her not to saying anything, praying that she wouldn't freak out.

"Oh... My... God." Her voice was shaking.

I held my hands out and immediately dropped them when she jumped. "Kim.."

She backed away from me until her back hit the wall. She screamed when it did. Slowly, she raised a finger, pointing it right at me, "You're one of..." She swallowed hard, "... Them."

"One of..." I swallowed, "Them?"

She was still pointing and pushed herself off of the wall, shouting, "I've read about you guys."

Wait... Was she... Smiling? And here I thought there was no way this girl could get any freakier. For a moment, I contemplated playing stupid. A moment after that, I decided that was an excellent idea. "What are you talking about?" I asked, putting on my best clue less face.

She didn't seem to be listening, "I've read about people... Like you." Her eyes were growing almost eccentric and it was my turn to grow a little afraid, "Telepathy, inhuman strength... Intellectual abilities that boggle the minds of the most brilliant biologists. You could level this entire building with..." She flicked her pinky, "The twitch of a fucking finger."

I stared at her. Okay. Playing stupid wasn't the best option as she obviously knew more about this that I probably did. "Kim..." My voice had grown desperate, "Please... Don't say anything to anybody."

She was suddenly shaking her head. "No!" She beamed, "I would never..."

I stared at her. It seemed like she really meant it.

I was stunned when tears came to her eyes. "I would never." She said softly, shaking her head. Her blue eyes glistened clearer than the purest ocean in Hawaii, "The things they do... To people like you..." Then she blubbered, "I'll never tell." She pledged, as if her own life were at stake.

I breathed deep, "Thank you. And if it's not too much to ask... I'd really appreciate it..." With every passing second, I was growing more and more anxious, "If we never spoke of this. Ever, again."

Kim wasn't so quick to agree with me on this and it took her several seconds and strong glares from me to, reluctantly, nod her head in agreement.

"Thank you." I stared at her for a long moment, then forced myself to smile. She returned it. I reached down and grabbed my Biology book in my hands. I didn't think it was possible for me to be more desperate to leave her than I already had, but this moment proved that belief very wrong. I needed to call Burns, immediately, and tell him what had just happened.

Man was he going to be fucking pissed.

Just as I was about to walk out, she held her hand up, "Wait... Can I just bring up one other thing... Before we never talk about this again?"

I was reluctant, but decided I didn't have anything more to lose "Spit it out."

"I know I promised I wouldn't say anything, but... It really wouldn't matter now, would it?"

My heart sped up. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She became nervous, "Well... I mean... The magazine."

"What magazine?" I demanded.

She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the latest issue of Star magazine.

I groaned, "Fuck... What? Do they let out a new one of those every other day?"

"Every week." She quickly corrected.

I rolled my eyes, scoffed, then snatched the magazine that she was extended to me. Justin and I were on the cover, as always, but that wasn't what made my entire world stop.

The first thing I saw was the headline, it was pretty hard to miss: WICKED WITCH? NOT JUST IN REAL LIFE, EXPERTS SAY TREVION PRACTICES REAL WITCHCRAFT!

A cameraman that I hadn't even known was there had snapped a picture of Justin and I from outside a window as we sat and ate in a booth at Del Taco. The picture was from the side and I was sitting in the booth on the left side of the photo, Justin on the right. Del Taco had become a ritual of ours. Justin, being the genius he was, often went entire days without eating, as it had never been a priority for him, and would randomly show up at the door of my dorm at twelve am announcing he was hungry. Normally, I could give a shit when Justin does and doesn't eat, that's his business. What I had a problem with was when he came banging on my door, announcing he was starving and making it my business. Justin hated to eat alone. Better yet, Justin wouldn't eat alone. Del Taco was the only twenty four hour restaurant on my street and because of him I'd seen more than my fair share of it. The workers there knew us not only by name but by number, size and quantities of our regular orders. I'd lost track of how many times he and I had been there.

We were in the fucking Del Taco way too much and the picture on the cover of the magazine proved it.

Believe it or not, that wasn't what had Justin so transfixed, it was the cheese quesadea (what he got every time) that was floating between the two of us. No one was holding it, no one was touching it. It was just floating.

"Oh my god." My throat had gone complete dry, so the words came out raspy.

"It's real isn't it?" Kim whispered, "That's not Photoshop... Is it?"

I blinked, surprised when tears didn't fall. "No." I softly, admitted. I looked up into her eyes, wide and frantic, before shaking my head. "No, it isn't."

I remembered doing it. I ever remembered what he'd said.

I'd then proceeded to slap him across the face with the qusedea several times-- no hands, of course.

It had seemed insanely funny at the time. Now it only seemed irresponsible and stupid.

"They were there." I whispered, stating the obvious. My voice was filled with hurt, "They were there. How could I be so stupid?"

Kim just stared.

"I have to call Burns..." Then I thought, "I have to call, Justin. No, I can't. He has enough to deal with. Oh, fuck, I have to talk to Burns. I have to go to his office. Shit! I can't drive like this. I'll run someone off the road... Fuck, I have to call Justin..." I took the phone he'd bought me out of my pocket and it was between my shaking fingers for all of five seconds when it rang. I knew it was Justin, but the ringing startled me so much that I'd practically thrown it across the room out of anxiousness, "Fuck!"

The window shutters flew open.

"I'm sorry." I looked at Kim, "Things like that happen when I get..." I took a deep breath to calm myself, a wasted effort, "Emotional."

At this point I was seriously rambling and Kim was, seriously, ten times more freaked out than she had been five minutes ago. Any minute now, I thought, she was going to run from the room screaming.

"Do you need a ride somewhere?" She offered.

My big eyes shot to her.

Who was this person?

Fifteen minutes later, Kim was flying down I-95 in her BMW X5, going fifteen miles over the speed limit. For this, I loved her.

"So that's what you losers were doing when you left in the middle of the night all the time?" In fifteen short minutes, it seemed, Kim had become completely comfortable with the fact that I had telepathic powers and that the entire world knew all about it. "To Del Taco?" She beamed, as if that was the lamest thing she'd ever heard.

I shrugged. "Justin blames his career. He says that he used to be so busy that eating became less of a necessity and more of a burden. He'll go entire days without eating. Not because he doesn't want to but because... He just... Forgets..." I laughed. Turns out, it sounded just as ridiculous as it was.

Kim's entire face was curled. "How do you go an entire day without eating? What the fuck? I would, like... Die."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Yeah, I agree... I think." I shot her a look.

"Maybe you should give him a call?" She said this as a question, like she was afraid she was overstepping her bounds.

I stared at her, wondering when my roommate had grown a conscience. "I left the phone back at the dorm." I said, still staring. "God, he's probably shitting a fucking brick. I don't answer the phone once and he acts like the world is coming to an end."

"He's sweet." Kim said, and I really wondered who she was.

"He's insane is what he is. This is the exit."

She pulled into the right lane and exited the freeway on Craig Rd where Burn's office was. "God, could this dude be any fucking farther away?" She complained.

"I'll pay you gas." I offered, feeling bad.

It was her turn to look at me like she didn't recognize the person in her passengers seat. "Don't worry about it." She waved a dismissive hand. "This is the most excitement I've had since I came to this miserable place."

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"New York. You?"

My mouth dropped, "Here. You left New York for this shithole?"

She widened her eyes and nodded. "I know, I can't believe it, either" was what her expression said.

"Wow." I said, cocking my head back. "So I have to ask... Why aren't you more freaked out by all of this? I expected you to go running to the mountains, or the closet.... Or the police."

She shook her head. "I'm really interested in telepathy, ESP... The unknown. Things like that. When I was five years old I wasn't watching Barney and Rainbow Bright like the other kids my age. I stayed up until eleven to catch The Twilight Zone and the X-Files. By the time I was six I'd read 'Fear' seven times. When I tried to make it eight my parents confiscated it from me. Apparently they couldn't handle the fact that their little girl would rather read about people being brutally murdered than ponies and rainbows. It's not real easy to freak me out." She combed a piece of bright red hair behind her ear, it was almost scarlet under the sunlight, and shot me a look, " I've got to admit that you came really close when I walked in on you today, though. You probably feel like you're all alone in the world, but you're not. There are websites, books, followings for this find of stuff. ."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I'm glad I did." She said, "I've read a lot of the books... I belong to a lot of the internet groups. Sometimes I wish..." She seemed hesitant. "Sometimes I wish that I was like you... People like you. Then maybe I wouldn't feel the way that I do all the time. Maybe my life would make a little more sense to me." She seemed to be in a whole other place for a moment, then shook herself out of it, "Anyways! I think it's great that this happened. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I would never have known that you're almost... A halfway bearable human being if this hadn't happened, you know?"

I wanted to be offended as I looked at the girl next to me, who I'd obviously never really known, but all I could do was smile. "Yeah... Likewise."

She smiled back at me and in that moment, a bond was formed, though I was sure neither of us was aware of it. "Which way?"

"Turn left on Ann Road. You can see the building from here."

"You mean the offensively shiny one that stretches thirty stories and is rendering me blind in my left eye?"

I laughed, "That's my Burns's office!"

Within minutes, Kim was parking her vehicle in the parking lot and pulling the keys out of the ignition. "Will you mind if I come in with you?"

"No... But I should probably warn you that Burns is not very well trained. He doesn't respond well to new people."

Kim smiled knowingly, "I think I'll live."

--

"God dammit Trevion! What were you thinking? Do you have any idea what you've done? Do you have any idea the danger you've put yourself in? I told you! I told you not to get involved with this boy! You don't listen. Now look what's happened. Look what a mess you've made for yourself!" As if to bookend the twenty minute rant that he'd just screamed his way through, Burns took the Star magazine that was rolled up in his big hand and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. It hit with a thud but his face was still beet red. His eyes were frantically searching the office for something--anything else-- to throw.

I shot my eyes to Kim, who was sitting in the chair next to me. Clearly, she was a bit frightened that the next object Burns would send hurling towards the wall would be her head. She didn't understand that he was just a cuddly teddy bear in a really big, well maintained body.

The two of us were sitting in the couches parallel to Burn's desk in the very same way that Justin and I had nearly a month and a half ago.

"And now you've involved your roommate?!" He beamed, pointing a shaking finger at Kim, "You don't even like her. Why is she here?!"

"She walked in on me doing... Things. She knows. Besides... She would have known, anyway, now that this magazine is out. Plus, she was my ride."

"But why is she in my office?"

I stared at him. "Well, Burns, if you kill me... And that's appearing more and more likely with every second that passes.... She'll be my witness in court."

Burns laughed. "You think I wouldn't kill her, too? Because I would."

Kim shrunk back into her chair.

"Burns." I scolded, "I'm surprised at you. Kim happens to be the person who gave me the ride down here. You and every other person on the road should be thanking her for not letting me into my car in the condition I was in. Not only would I be dead right now but I would have taken half of I-95 with me."

Within seconds, Burn's was clenching either side of the chair I was sitting in, blocking me in. His handsome face was becoming redder by the second and I couldn't remember ever seeing him so angry. "Is this a joke to you?" He whispered. "Is this a fucking joke?"

"No." I whispered back, feeling five years old all over again. "I had a nice, long spazz session back at the dorm room. After an hours worth of driving I've managed to calm down. Maybe you should do the same."

He shoved himself away from me, as if I was the foulest thing he'd ever smelt. "Calm down." He laughed, manically, then looked at Kim, "Calm down!" He beamed to her. "She's only putting her life in danger, right? She's only taken everything I've ever taught her and thrown it in the trash." His eyes were back on me, "Right? She's only completely and utterly clueless as to what magnitude her life is going to change because of what's on the cover of that fucking magazine, right? But I should just calm down, right? I should just stop giving a damn about the girl that I raised-- about a girl that I've put my entire heart and soul into. Right?"

I stared at him, completely sobered and on the verge of tears. I imagined that this must have been what most people felt when they saw their mother crying. Completely crushed and helpless. "Burns.." I whispered, "I'm sorry." I'd never seen him lose it like this.

He shook his head at me. "I know you are." He sympathized, and I was thankful for that. Immediately after, however, he breathed deep, "But it's too late for that."

Kim was as quiet and timid as a mouse next to me, which proved that she was a lot smarter than I'd given her credit for.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

Burns circled his desk and took a seat. "I have a plan."

Kim and I shared a quiet look, then our eyes were back on Burns.

"This isn't Time Magazine and that's going to work in our favor..." he clasped his hands in front of him. "You have to get in touch with Justin. Since Star Magazine is a tabloid and not exactly recognized for their air tight reliability... We could make this all go away. If Justin spins it the right way..." He took a deep, shaky breath, "we can make it all go away. But it has to be Justin, it has to be public and it has to be soon. Otherwise... You're going to end up just like your mother."

The moment the words left his mouth he jammed his eyes shut. This was something, obviously, that'd he'd never planned to say. Not ever.

Meanwhile, my heart had completely stopped. "Wait..." I jammed my eyes shut, then forced them open, willing myself not to get too angry too quickly, "Wait... What?"

He didn't answer me, and my blood boiled.

"What do you mean I'm going to end up just like my mother? What does that mean?" He didn't answer me, and that's when I became frantic, "You told me that she walked out on my father and I. You told me that I'd... That I'd scared her away with this... This thing inside of me. That's what you told me, right?"

"I shouldn't have said anything." Burns mumbled, "I'm sorry, Trevion, I never meant to..."

But I wasn't listening, "Seeing as I don't have a child or a husband to walk out on I find it hard to understand how I could ever end up like my mother. Right? Unless you've been lying to me. Unless everything that you've told me since I was six fucking years old has been a lie." I became overwhelmed with emotion, and felt Kim's hand on my back when I started crying, "What happened to her?" I asked, desperately, "Where is she?"

Burns stared at me, appearing on the edge of a breakdown himself. "I don't know." He whispered. "That's the truth."

"What's the whole truth? I deserve to know. I grew up without her. I grew up believing that she walked out on me-- that she never loved me. If it was something else-- if you know that it was something different you have to tell me. I deserve to know why I grew up without a mother! I deserve--"

"She let it slip! She let people find out about her gift just like you!" He screamed, standing from his chair and pointing a finger at me over the desk. "She was careless, she was selfish and she was stupid! It meant nothing to her that she had a daughter, a husband and a family to protect. They found out who she was. They found out, Trevion, and they set out to find her and take her away."

It seemed like his lips were moving in slow motion and with every word he said I wondered whether or not I wanted him to continue.

He calmed himself, and sat back in his chair, "She knew they were looking for her and she figured that... She figured that if she didn't have the gift anymore, if she could just find a way to get it out of her body... To make it go away, then maybe they wouldn't hurt you and your father. She didn't leave you by choice, Trevion. She loved you, she loved your father and she was just trying to protect you. I never told you this because I was trying to protect you. What you have inside of you... Your gift... It's genetic. Your mother passed it to you in utero."

My hand went to my mouth and I suddenly felt extremely dizzy, "Oh my god." I whispered, the tears spilling out of my eyes like a waterfall. "You let me grow up thinking that my mother left me because of something that she herself had? You let me believe that she thought I was a freak. That she was afraid of me... Couldn't stand the sight of me." I shook my head at him. "How could you do that?"

"I didn't want you to go looking for the cure like she did." His voice was shaking. "I swear I was just trying to protect you, Trevion. I was just trying to protect you."

"Cure?" I asked, scooting to the edge of my seat. "What are you talking about... What cure?"

His eyes were miserable. "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you."

"Well it's too late for that, Burns! I know all about it now and I want to know what the hell you're talking about. Is there a chance..." I pointed to myself, "Is there a way that I can make this go away? Is there a way to... Fix myself?"

I was deeply hurt when I saw tears in his eyes, "You don't need to be fixed." He demanded, as if he were deeply hurt by the mere proposition.

"Are you going to tell me... Or not?"

His eyes grew small. He must have understood that the moment we were in right then was going to decide whether or not he and I were going to remain in each other's lives. The magnitude of the situation shook him as deeply as it shook me. I knew how to shut people completely out, I was very good at it, and he knew this. "Not." He whispered, struggling to hold it together.

I couldn't believe that he'd thrown it all away so easily. It hurt me so deeply, that I immediately stood and left the office. He didn't follow.

I didn't look back as I pushed open the heavy door of his office building, squinting against the sun that stabbed against my red eyes, but I knew Kim was right behind me.

"I need you to take me to my mother." I said, without looking behind me. I walked up to where Kim had parked her BMW and waited for her. She walked to driver's side and our eyes met over the roof of the vehicle. She seemed almost as upset by what had just happened as I was, and she barely knew me or Burns.

"I don't know where she is." She whispered. "Maybe we should go back. Your... dad seemed pretty upset..."

"He's not my dad." I spat before immediately forcing myself to calm down. She didn't deserve to be yelled at. "I know someone." I insisted. "I know someone who knows where she is. I just need to get back to the dorm."

"Okay." She immediately agreed.

--

Once we were back in the dorm room I all but leapt for my phone. The second it was in my hand I looked up JC's number in my incoming calls section, sent it through, and put the phone to my ear.

He answered on the second ring.

"You can breathe easily, Trevion. It seems that you, somehow, convinced Justin to leave for California just in the nick of time. He wasn't in Tennessee when I got there. He doesn't know about you and I. His family hates me so much that they wouldn't even give me his number and I have no way of getting in contact with him. Congratulations, you win."

Then he hung up.

And I saw red.

I dialed him again, half expecting him not to answer. When he did, I tried to think about how to go about this. The best way would probably be to treat him like royalty so he would agree to tell me where my mother was. The desirable way would be to scream at him until he agreed (which wasn't likely).

Surprisingly, as I listened to the voice of the person I now hated second most in the world, I was extremely collected. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, Kim on the edge of hers. We were both face to face as I said, calmly, "I need to see my mother." Then, when he didn't respond, "Please, JC."

"Why should I?" He asked. His voice was soft, almost understanding.

My voice shook, "Because I have nothing else."

"You have Justin." His tone was resentful.

"He's going to California to make amends with everyone... Including you. You can take me to see my mother, I know she's somewhere in that state. You can drop me off wherever she is and be home just in time to hug, kiss and make nice."

"You're a liar." He laughed, "And a bad one."

"I'm not lying." I said, softly. "This is why I'm telling you that my mother is all I have left." I began crying, overcome with emotion.

"And I'm telling you that she isn't! Justin is crazy about you! For some reason..."

"God dammit, JC! We both know what's going to happen when Justin goes to the hospital to see Britney. WE both know what's going to happen when he lays eyes on her for the first time in a month. We both know what's going to happen! When I loose him to Britney I'm going to need something to hold onto. I need something to hold onto, JC or I'm not going to fucking make it. All right? I need you to take me to my mother, now!"

A long silence followed this, then he whispered, "You're serious."

I sniffled, "Are you back in Vegas?"

"I just got back.... Maybe half an hour ago." He sighed, "If you really think Justin is going back to Britney..." He laughed. "Then you don't know Justin."

"If you think I wont do anything to see my mother right now... Then you don't know me, very well. And maybe he wont go back to Britney... But I can't take that risk." Now that I didn't have Burns, I realized that my being truly alone in this world was becoming a real possibility.

"Is Justin really on his way to LA?"

"Yes. I'm telling you. He mentioned you, Charles, Josh and Larry."

JC laughed out loud. "I assume you're referring to Chris, Joey and Lance?"

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes, "How do you think Justin is going to feel? He's on his way to LA to be the bigger man, to make amends with you. How do you think he's going to feel when he finds out you're in Las Vegas? Do you think he's not going to know that we've been talking to each other? Justin is stubborn, JC, but he's not stupid. You can take me to see my mother then hurry back to the Hollywood Hills, or where ever the fuck, just in time for Justin's little visit."

I was surprised when, immediately after I said this, he whispered, "All right."

"Really?" I asked, skeptically.

"Yeah. Really. I told you that I'll do anything to fix what I've broken with him. If he's really on his way to LA... Then so am I." He paused, "I'll be there in an hour."

"Thank you, JC." I whispered. "I told you that this would all work out, didn't I?"

"Not exactly a politely as that, but yeah... I suppose you did."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll see you in an hour." Then hung up. I looked across the small space that separated my bed and Kim's.

She was watched me with concerned eyes, but a smile hinted at her lips. "And I thought my life was hectic." She shook her head. "You and I are going to have to sit down a have a really long talk."

"Soon." I agreed, "But right now? I have to pack."

Half an hour later I had a duffle bag packed, with my keys twirling in my hand. I'd completely missed my chemistry test and was shuffling through different ways to beg for my professor's mercy when there was a knock on the door.

For once, JC had been early. I was excited for this becuase the earlier we left the earlier I got to see my mother.

Of course, he found a way to completely fuck my excitement up for me. "I have to take a shit." He said, just like a real gentlemen. He stood in the middle of my dorm room like he fucking owned the place, "Where's your charming roomate?"

"She's in a late class." I rolled my eyes, "Anything else before you go drop the kids off at the pool?"

"And you say I have no manners?" He laughed.

"I never claimed to have manners. Speaking of, that's the ugliest fucking jacket I've ever seen in my life."

He slung the jacket he'd just removed over the end of my bed. It was black leather and covered in all sorts of patches with different pictures and symbols. Some of them were sports, some animals, some randoman, meaningless things, some were at all. Just random patches with random colors.

We both stared down at it. "You're telling me?" He laughed, "Justin made it for me as a birthday gift. He was only thirteen, you know, his fasion sence wasn't exactly extensive."

"You guys have known each other since he was thirteen?"

"Yeah..." JC answered, somberly, "Yeah, he made it for me. It was widely recgnized amounst everyone on the tour as the ugliest thing any of us had ever seen. Justin loved it though, and whenever he saw me go somewhere without it on he'd get the most pitiful look on his face." He rolled his eyes, "You must know the look."

I rolled my eyes right back, "Unfortunately."

"Yeah, I always felt bad. I loved him... And he loved it. So whenever we were together, I wore it. As time went by... I grew to love it, too... I guess."

"Touching." I said, dryly. "Bathroom's down the hall on the left... If you were wondering."

He seemed to take the hint, and headed towards the door, "Give me fifteen minutes."

Five minutes later, there was a knock.

I hurried across the room to the door and threw it open, my bag in one hand, car keys in the other, but it wasn't who I expected.

Justin seemed just as surprised by the sight of me as I was by him. The moment that our eyes met, I remembered the feeling of his lips on mine and the warmth of his hands on my body. The weight of emotions that I now held for this man was almost suffocating. The need to reach out and touch him was even greater.

I wanted to say something to him, btu speech seemed foreign... Impossible. He was wearing a t-shirt underneath a dress jacket and a pair of basic jeans on his legs. He looked like... Justin. I was immediately comfortable at the sight of him.

He spoke first. "You look surprised." He smiled that big smile.

"I am." I nodded vigorously, "I am." I said, again, stupidly.

"Hi, Trevie!" I jumped at the voice, then told myself that I was imagining things.

The smile in Justin's eyes told me that I wasn't.

"You didn't." I beamed. The moment I said this, Steven's little body came bounding into my vision from the left side of my open door. There the little rugrat was, gripping his disgusting GI Joe doll and looking as dirty as ever. Surprisingly, his presence wasn't as disconcerting to me as it normally was.

It was almost... nice.

Then the midget barricaded himself into my open door, nearly knocking Justin to the ground in the process, and wrapped both of his arms around my left leg. It seemed like he was doing everything he could to climb right up my baggy blue jeans but just wasn't strong enough to pull it off.

"Trevie! I missed-ed you a lot!"

"I've been gone for one day!"

"I know! It was awful!" He cried. I attempted to push the child off of me. The harder I pushed, it seemed, the stronger his grip became.

After several attempts to pry his fingers from my jeans I gave up and stood tall, leveling my annoyed eyes with Justin. "Why are you doing this to me?"

He laughed. I wondered what was so funny.

Steven had now spread my legs apart and was weaving in, out and around the gap in my legs like I was a fucking jungle gym. "I hope you're having fun down there." I said.

"I is!" He answered.

"Where are this boy's parents?"

Justin's smiled only widened. He seemed so happy. "He's on track break. I have him for three weeks."

My eyes widened. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You have him, too."

"Don't threaten me." I beamed.

"How was your Biology test?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I felt a little bad for keeping you in Tennessee. I know that you have school and... A life of your own. Steve and I should really be in LA right now, actually, but..." He sucked in some air through his teeth, "I needed to see you."

I stared at him, struck by his intensity. "I know." I said, softly, swerving when Steven knocked my knee out of place.

"Ow!" I screamed.

"Steve!" Justin yelled.

"Huh?" He called, innocently. Justin immediately softened, understandably. The devil himself couldn't yell at that face. Steven had stopped running, which left him with one leg on either side of my foot and his head in my crotch, "Huh, Jussin?"

"Try to act like you got some god damn sense, would you?"

"Uuuuuuummm!" Steven frowned up at his big brother.

For the first time, Justin seemed annoyed by this and pointed into the room. I stared at him. He was almost pulling this whole parental thing off. "Go sit on the bed."

"But I want to stay with, Trevie!" He gripped my leg.

"Well Trevie and I are having a grown up conversation. So go... Sit... On the bed."

"But Trevie liked-ed me better than you."

"Trevie does not like you better than me."

"We're really going to have to do something about the name Trevie." I said, jumping in.

Then they both had the audacity to look at me like I was the crazy one.

Giving up on the argument with Steven, which was the smart thing to do, Justin looked back up at me. "Truthfully, Trev... We were really worried about you."

My heart sped up. Being with him and the brat was actually pretty soothing. So much so that I'd completely forgotten the nightmare that had been that entire day. The magazines, the encounter with Burns, finding out about my mother... Everything disappeared when I was with Justin. I loved that he could do that for me. I was terrified of losing it.

Immediately after this, I remembered that JC was on his way there.

Justin was still talking, "I don't know if you saw the magazines or not, but... They've got pictures of you... Doing... You know. It was while we were at Del Taco."

"I know." I nodded, "I saw them..." I wanted to tell him everything that had happened that day, but for some reason... I couldn't.

"Trev, I was really worried... For the whole drive down here I couldn't think of anything but getting to you. I even forgot to feed Steven." He motioned to Steve, who'd resumed treating my calves like they were monkey bars on the playground, "I just want you to know that I'm going to take care of it. You don't have to worry about anything. It's really easy to discredit the tabloids." His voice was very patient and soothing. I'd learned that he only talked like this when he was really nervous but trying to hide it, "This is what I was talking about, Trevion. This is why I get so mad at you when you're open around these people. They're heartless. They're animals and they're out for blood. All they see is money and they don't give a fuck about who they're hurting. Just because you don't see them doesn't mean that they aren't there. They're everywhere. Anywhere." He shook his head, "Anytime."

"I know!" I beamed, then, seeing how much I'd startled both of them, I sighed. "I know... I just..." I shook my leg a bit and managed to throw Steven off in the process. With my newfound freedom I took a step closer to Justin and did what I'd been dying to do since the moment I'd found him on the other side of that door. I lightly brushed the sides of his jacket, then laid my hands against it until they were touching, then gripping his waist.

I looked up at him, my heart racing. "I missed you." I said, softly.

He was clearly surprised by my saying this, and, as if he were afraid the moment would disappear within seconds if he didn't grab it, immediately, he reached up and cupped the back of my neck, letting his thumbs caress the skin above my ear. "Me too." He whispered, "God..." His eyes fluttered shut and he laughed, quietly, "I can't fucking stop thinking about you."

"Me either." I admitted.

"That kiss..." He sighed.

"I know..." I laughed. "It's going to change everything... It might very well ruin everything." I paused, "Are you willing to risk that? Are you willing to throw this friendship away?..."

He stared at me, his eyes soft, and shook his head 'no' as he whispered, "Yes." Then, "I want you to come back to California with us."

I was immediately startled by this, so much so that I stepped away from his touch.

He kept his hands in the air, as if I was still right there. "I just want you to meet the guys... That's all. I'm not asking for your hand in marriage, Trev." He must have realized how harsh that sounded, "I just want them to know you. The real you." He reached into his pocket and removed the magazine that had shaken my entire life, "Not this. This isn't you." He threw the magazine to the ground and took a step toward me.

I stepped away.

His eyes grew hurt, "Trevion."

"What?" I asked, softly.

"What are you doing?" He asked. For the first time since I'd opened the door, his eyes wandered to my hands, "Where are you going?" He asked, taking note of the packed bag in my hand and my bundled attire. There was no accusation in his eyes, no mistrust. He was just asking me an honest question. Maybe he thought I was going to visit family across town, even though I had no family. Maybe he thought that I was going to a sleep over, even though I had no friends and would never go to a sleep over even if I did. He probably believed a million and one things, none of them bad.

He had so much faith in me and that made me feel like a real asshole.

His eyes narrowed over my shoulder towards my bed and seemed to focus on something, I figured that must have been where Steven, who had grown suspiciously quiet, had retired to. Then I saw the look in his eyes. He seemed puzzled, then amused, with himself.

Then it was disbeleif. Pure, unadulterated disbelief.

I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but my heart stopped beating before I could.

The jacket. His eyes were on mine for a fraction of a second, then he was moving past me.

"Justin!" I reached for him but he swatted my hand away so quickly that it momentarily flustered me. I could only watch as he walked towards the bed where the jacket lay, perfectly spread, as if it had known Justin was coming. As if it had been meant for him to see, like that was it's purpose in life.

"Was 'dat, Jussin?" Steven asked. Turns out he'd been jumping on Kim's bed the entire time, doing front flips and landing on his stomach before bursting into uncontrollable giggles.

Justin stared down at the jacket, completely ignoring Steven, and I held my breath. The smartest option, I told myself, would be to keep quiet. Just shut... The fuck... Up. Give Justin time to decide how to handle this and go with his flow. That was my plan.

"Where is he?" Justin asked, without looking at me. He gave me less than a second to answer, then his voice rose. "Where is he, Trevion?"

"In the bathroom." I answered, "Down the hall."

As if we were all in a play in front of an audience, as if someone as qued him from outside the door, JC came bounding into the room right at that moment. "All right, Trevion. I just dropped the kids off at the pool and..."

I cut my eyes at JC just as he spotted Justin across the room. It was as if he was a mother who hadn't seen her son in months. Justin didn't even have to turn around. JC knew it was him. And even though all he saw was the back of Justin's jacket, it was as if he'd seen a ghost.

"I have got to commend you on your timing." I spat. Shaking my head at him, "Thanks for leaving your jacket on the bed, by the way." Then, I was furious, "Fuck!" Then crying, "Justin..." I crossed the room to my bed and laid a hand on Justin's shoulder.

He shrugged away from it like it was fire. "Don't." He said, calmly.

Too calmly.

"Big C!" Steven yelled, then waved, titillated by the sight of JC.

"Sit down!" Justin screamed.

Steven immediately stopped jumping on the bed. He was five but he wasn't fucking stupid. He knew something was about to go down. Like the good little boy that he definitely wasn't, he parked his little booty on the front of the bed and put his hands in his lap, big blue eyes drinking in every inch of the situation before him.

It was as if screaming at Steven, the one person who didn't deserve it, had awaken a sleeping giant inside of Justin. Before I could think another thought, he'd began crossing the room.

All I could do was be worried for JC's safety. Funnily enough, it turned out that it was my safety that I should have been afraid for.

Within seconds Justin was in my face, his breath hot against my lips in the worst possible way, his nose bumping against mine. His fists were curled tight at his sides, as if I was one smart ass comment away from a fist in the face.

Instinctively, I snatched my head back and stared up at him, wondering if he was the type of man to hit a woman. I wasn't afraid of him, as his hot breath slammed against my face. More than anything, I was afraid for him. I knew that this must hurt him, and all I wanted was a way to make it better.

There must have been fear in my eyes because he seemed to realize just how hostile he'd become and took a big step away from me. Honestly, I preferred to have him close, even if he was burning with fury while he was.

"How long?" He asked, the calm edge back in his voice.

JC answered. "About a week after you got here." He looked at me. "About a month."

I could hardly believe my eyes when Justin's chin began to shake, angry tears threatening to spill out of his wounded eyes. I never thought it would work out this way. I never thought he would end up more angry at me than he was at JC "Tell me something, Trevion." His voice trembled, "Tell me why it's so easy to do this to me?" He shook his head, "I just want to know."

I covered my mouth with my hands. Every inch of my body trembled, "Justin, please."

"Why am I so fucking easy to lie to?" He struggled to hold himself together. "Why am I so easy to deceive?"

"Justin you have to understand." The sight of tears in his eyes was an ugly reminder of the man that he was when I'd first met him, "I was just trying to protect you. I care about you so much."

You'd think I told him that he was the worst kisser in the world and his breath tasted like boiled eggs from the way he looked at me. Then he was laughing. "You care about me?" He asked, his laughter growing more powerful, until it was almost maniacal. "You care about me? You fucking care about me? You care about me, Trevion? Fuck you!"

When JC jumped in, I covered my mouth with my hands, terrified, "Look, man, believe me when I tell you that girl loves you. You might not know it, she definitely doesn't know it but..."

That was how far JC got before Justin was in his face. It was the first time that I'd ever heard a man yelling with a very deep and very real passion. Not even my father had screamed at me when I was a child, he was always a very mild tempered man. Seeing Justin screaming, crying, looking damn near ready to kill JC where he stood was a display of male anger at it's most poignant. IT was nothing short of terrifying.

"Don't fucking say her name to me, JC, who the fuck do you think you are?!" Justin was crying hysterically now, shoving JC's shoulders after every word he said, stabbing his finger at him and heaving his chest at him until JC had nowhere left to go. His back was up against the wall with Justin's nose against his the same way it had been on mine. Both of their faces were as red as apples. I was crying. Justin was crying. JC was crying and Steven was crying, too. "Are you going to fuck every woman that I love until the day I fucking die? Is that your plan? Do you resent me that fucking much that you have to destroy everything I love just so I'll be as unhappy as you fucking are?!" Justin's fists were clenched and, instinctively, so were JC's. It was silent for a moment, then Justin's shoulders heaved and, if it was even possible, his voice rose. "Answer me!"

Steven was crouched in the corner of Kim's bed, screaming at the top of his lungs. I was fairly positive that he'd probably never seen Justin this angry. From what I'd seen he was extremely lenient with Steven, he rarely ever yelled and I was sure he'd never been mere seconds from knocking somebody the fuck out when he knew Steven was watching. Justin was out of control at the moment, though, he wasn't himself, and Steven was absolutely petrified.

The two didn't even notice as I crossed the room to Steven, who opened his arms to me the moment I touched the small of his back. I gripped his body to mine, only crying harder when I felt his little body wrecking against mine with sobs. I shushed him, rocked him and did all of the things I'd seen good mother's do on tv and in movies.

"I'm not fucking Trev..." In the middle of saying my name, JC stopped himself, "I'm not fucking her. I came to her. I found her. She has nothing to do with this. I saw a picture of you guys in a magazine and I was just using her. She was just a pawn..." He stopped and tried to collect himself, to no avail, "She was just a pawn in my desperate attempt to get to you. That's it, I fucking swear. What happened with Britney was a mistake and I'm so fucking sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, Justin." I said, coming up behind them in an attempt to calm everything down. I was sure that, with Steven in my arms, Justin would come to his senses. "I should have told you from the beginning."

He turned away from JC, saw me holding Steven,, and only seemed to get angrier. "Yeah, you should have." He snatched Steven out of my arms and when he had the child against his chest his entire face saddened, "I'm sorry, Steve." He whispered, his face curled into a deep frown.

"Justin, please don't go, let's talk about this." I gripped his shoulders and, since he had Steven in his arms, all Justin could do was shrug away from me.

"Don't touch me." He frowned when my hands slid down his arms, "I fucking mean it. Don't... Don't!" He screamed. He held the back of Steven's head firmly in one hand and had his bottom in the other. Everytime I touched him, he snatched his entire body away, taking his crying baby brother with him.

I wouldn't stop reaching for him, I couldn't. I knew that if I could just get my arms around him, if I could pull his body to mine that I could relax him, even if only a little.

Steven slowly slid out of Justin's arms as he was trying to move away from my touch. With every inch that he slid from Justin's arms he screamed a little louder.

"I'm sorry! Please don't go...." I was sobbing now, nose running, a hot mess, "Please don't leave me, I'm so, so sorry!"

"That's bullshit!" Justin released Steven, gently pushed him to the side and, with his newly freed hands, began swatting away from frantic hands, "That's bullshit, Trevion. Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me!" He screamed and when I didn't heed his warnings he reached out to me and, with a stunning quickness, had my wrists in a startlingly tight grip. I was so stunned that I couldn't fight him, I could barely move. When he pushed me against the nearest wall, slamming my back against it, I screamed and jammed my eyes shut, afraid that he'd hit me. "God dammit, I mean it, Trevion!"

"Please." I cried, my eyes jammed shut. "You mean everything to me, Justin. Please..." I opened my eyes so I could see his face and, for the slightest moment, I saw his eyes soften. I grabbed his cheeks in each of my hands, "You mean everything to me." I repeated, and came up on my toes to kiss him. This must have awakened something in him because he was striking my hands away, again, both of us screaming, both of us crying. I didn't stop trying to grab onto him until he was yelling so loud that my ears were ringing. I brought my hands up to cover them but they froze halfway when his fist came flying towards my face.

My entire body solidified with fear and stayed that way even when his fist went crashing into the wall right next to my ear. He hit it once, screaming. Then twice, crying. Then three, four, five times, completely out of control, completely overwhelmed, completely pulverized. "God damn, Trev, why?!' He cried, punching the wall, one more time. My vision was blurry from tears, but I could see blood quickly seeping up from his knuckles and dripping down his fingers. "Why you?" He gasped, an expression of complete pulverization on his face.

I didn't know if JC blacked out at the sight of a woman being challenged by a man or if he completely lost all common sense, but the sight of Justin in my face did something to him. He crossed the room and grabbed Justin's shoulder in an attempt to pull his body away from mine.

The moment he did this, Justin veered around, charged JC and swung at him with all the might he'd thrown into the wall moments before. I had covered my eyes with my hands, so all I heard was the sound of skin hitting skin, then cracking, then a heavy thump and Steven's horrified scream.

"Fuck!" I opened my eyes, saw JC sprawled on the floor and Justin standing above him, holding his fist in his hand. At that moment, I accepted that there was nothing. There was nothing that I could ever do to set all of this right. I'd completely fucked it up. That thought was absolutely paralyzing.

When Justin stepped away from me that time, I didn't reach for him. He found his brother curled into the farthest corner of the room screaming at the top of his lungs and looking thoroughly heartbroken. Like he weighed no more than two pounds, Justin grabbed Steven's arm and pulled him off of the floor, gripping him to his side.

Without saying another word to anybody, Justin left the room with his gasping brother on his side.

I waited until I knew he was gone, then I fell to the floor in a heap, crying almost as loudly as Steven had been.

"Are you fucking happy?" I asked JC, who was still lying in the spot that Justin had decked him, holding his chin while rolling his jaw in circles, probably trying to pop it back into place. I sniffled, found my way to my feet, swerving slightly before finding some semblance of balance. "I hate you." I whispered, crying softly, "This is all your fucking fault and I hate you!" He didn't even look up, "Do you hear me?!" I cried. When he continued not to respond, I grabbed the nearest object, the case to Kim's Slipknot CD, and threw it at him. It hit it square in his temple. When he continued not to respond, a stuffed bear was the next thing that went flying at his head. After realizing that wouldn't cause nearly as much pain as I needed to inflict, I grabbed the biggest book I owned, Moby Dick, and sent that charging at him, as well, "Son of a bitch!" I hollared, just for emphasis.

The book missed his head by an inch, and instead hit Kim's favorite lamp. I was definitely going to hear about that later.

I just couldn't make myself care.

JC released his chin and raised his eyes to mine. He looked more haggard, more torn down, more tired than I'd ever seen him. So tired that he couldn't even find it in himself to retaliate against the crazy bitch who was throwing any and everything at his head with intent to maim, and or, kill. He had given up and it was a scary sight to behold. "I'll..." His head fell and he stared at the carpet for a long moment before raising his eyes back to me, "I'll take you to you mother."

I knew exactly why he was offering.

Now he knew... She was all I had left.

"Your aim is fucking shitty, by the way..." His wet, red eyes narrowed to the broken lamp behind him and the Moby Dick book that lay next to it. "Really shitty."