Anywhere turned out to be the Starbucks right across the parking lot from Maniac Mountain. We’d told the party we’d be right back, though everyone else was too busy having fun to notice. For the entire walk across the parking lot Justin held my hand in his. I told myself it was because my leg was injured and I was limping and needed assistance. I knew I was perfectly capable of walking on my own and just liked the feel of my hand in his. I looked up at him when we were nearly there. He was watching the ground beneath us, walking about three paces slower than his usual, smiling.

Just smiling.

“I missed you.” I said, before I could stop myself.

His smile fell as he was snapped out of his thoughts. He gazed at me, thoughtfully. His fingers tightened around mine, but he didn’t respond.

I limped over to him until we were shoulder to shoulder and let him lead me up to the doors of Starbucks. “You made it!” He beamed, giving me a high five.

“You’re a spaz!” I cried, slapping my hand to his. The second the high five was over, he took my hand back in his. This time, he laced his with mine and gripped tight.

The shop was full of teenage baristas and, of course, Justin caused quite the stir from the moment we’d walked it. Strangely, enough, the place was empty. That was a first for any Starbucks I’d been in.

The poor girl at the register shit her pants the moment he stopped in front of her. “Holy… shit.” For several moments she stared up at Justin in absolute shock. I stood a fair distance behind him, quietly admiring the special way she’d tired her apron to make her look like an hourglass. The three other girls in the shop caught sight of Justin, and ‘holy shit’ parts two, three and four commenced before they all finally composed themselves and took our orders.

“What do you want, Trev?” Justin looked back at me after he’d given his order. All of the girls looked at me, as well. It was as if they’d just realized I was in the building. They probably had. I didn’t know if it was the mood lighting, the relaxing music (Frank Sinatra) or the fact that Justin and I had just made up and were clearly the only sane people in the room, but I was in an extremely good mood.

I motioned to Justin, “I don’t know. Just get me what you got.” I smiled.

“You wont like what I got.” He decided.

I rolled my eyes at him for making this so difficult. “Then just get me what’s good.”

Justin stared at me. Because of this, all of the girls saw it okay to stare, as well. And stare, they did. Justin was the only one smiling, however, “You’re asking me to order for you?”

“So it would seem.” My jaw tightened.

“Okay, um…” He seemed to really think it through, then told the cashier, “Trev’ll have a tall caramel frappicino, double blended and could you make sure there’s no whip cream on it? Not even a trace of it in the blender. She gets really sick.”

I stood behind, wondering where I’d been when this man had gotten to know me as well as he had. “Caramel? Justin, I asked you to order for me, not add five pounds to my ass.”

“You could use about ten.” He mumbled and smiling brightly when the girls giggled.

I did not. “I’m going to go find us a table and pretend I didn’t just hear that.”

I took the table in the farthest corner because it had the comfiest looking couches. Justin spent a good ten minutes flirting with the girls, which I found highly entertaining.

Eventually, he made his way to the table with our drinks and took the seat opposite me. “Why did you pick one so far away?” He asked, sliding my frappicino to me.

“It seems like your four girlfriends are wondering the same thing.” I said.

“They’re sweet girls. The tall one even opened up a brand new blender, just for you. No whip cream residue in sight.”

“Speaking of…” I took a sip of my drink, “I don’t recall telling you that I’m lactose intolerant.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Remember the night after we met? That night you made macaroni in the dorm?”

My face fell, “I’d been trying to forget and was actually succeeding… until now.”

He laughed out loud. It was a beautiful sound, “Aw, at least Kim was nice enough to hold your hair back for you all night. Too bad she couldn‘t do anything about the diarrhea. Hey, did she ever manage to get that strain out of her sweater?”

I threw him a look, desperate for this portion of the conversation to end, and shook my head.

He cringed, “Speaking of Kim… when the hell did she become the dumb to your dumber?”

I slammed my drink on the table. “That and the ass comment before? You have no idea how close you are to getting the shit slapped out of you, Timberlake.”

“I liked to be slapped.” He licked his lips and winked.

“I bet you do… freak.”

“You still haven’t answered me.”

“What was the question? The deliciousness of my frappicino is making me forgetful.”

“Kim. You and her. Being friendly.”

“Oh that!” I beamed, “Yeah, we bonded after you ran away and even more so while you were getting your dick sucked. In fact, judging the man hating fest we had to and from Toys ‘R’ Us I’m surprised we’re still alive. Came close to have a head on collision a couple of times.”

Justin took this all in the way he always did. I’d never noticed that before. The way he listened to me. “I think there’s something you should understand about what you saw with me and Gia.”

“Really? Because I think I’m all Gia’d out.” I said, “Check back with me in a week.”

“Okay, then tell me this… just for my own piece of mind…”

“Shoot.”

“Why, Trev? Why JC? Please just answer me that and I promise the questions will stop.”

I watched him, “He knows my mother, Louise, and he promised me that he’d take me to see her if I helped him get back into your good graces. I agreed, but even then, I only agreed because I saw how much pain you were in. I saw how much you still loved him… that you would probably never stop loving him. I guess I just… I thought if you made up with JC it would all work out… for everyone.”

“There was some part of me that missed him, I’m not going to lie. Maybe one day he and I could have been friends, again. Maybe one day I could have gotten over it all. Maybe one day… the anger would have subsided. It could have happened. Then he and you happened…” His jaw clenched… tight, “I hate him.”

“That’s pretty strong.”

“That’s pretty true.”

“You never know what the future holds.”

“I know I’ll never speak to him, again.”

“You don’t know that, Justin.”

“Please don’t stand up for him, Trevion.”

“I’m not standing up for him, I’m worried about you. When you’re angry you’re like a different person, Justin. I just… I don’t like the idea of you walking around with such hatred on your shoulders. It ages people. It ruins people. I don’t want you ruined! I want you… you…” I smiled softly.

“I don‘t understand, though…” He shrugged, then laughed, “Why didn’t you just tell me all that from the start? We wouldn’t even be fighting right now.”

“You were too busy packing your bags.”

He sat back in his chair. Like he’d been slapped.

“Sorry.” I mumbled.

“Don’t be.” He said, immediately, “You’re just being yourself.”

I didn‘t know how to take that, so I ignored it, “I just felt like I had to see my mother. I had to look her in the eyes and ask her, face to face, how she could walk out on her only daughter. I had to know.” I shook my head and waved a hand at him, “But that’s over now. It’s past.”

“What was her name?”

“Louise Spencer.”

His face froze, “Louise? God… He wasn’t the only one who knew her. I knew her too. She was Nsync’s make-up artist. Did he tell you that? All five of us knew her.” He stared at me, “For fucks sake, you look just like her. How could I have missed it?”

“That’s what he said. I can’t believe I never realized that you would have known her, too. Jesus, to know that I could have kicked the bastard to the curb from day one!” I kicked an empty chair next to me.

“Hey, don’t get angry, Trev. It ages people. It ruins people.”

“Stop taking my words.”

He just smirked.

I shook my head, still unable to accept what an idiot I was. “Believe it or not… I never, ever thought of it that way.”

“Do you still want to see her?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll take you right now.”

My eyes shot up to his, “Justin…”

“Hey, I’ve got to make up getting my dick sucked somehow, don’t I?”

“You don’t have to make up for that. Like you said… I’m not your girlfriend… we don’t belong to each other. You can get your dick sucked by whoever you want.”

“What if I don’t want anybody?”

“Then that would make you an a-sexual and, judging from the massive hard on you had just this morning, I highly doubt you are.”

“What the hell is an a-sexual?”

I sighed, deeply, “Sometimes it’s hard being so much smarter than everyone.”

He gave me the fakest laugh I’d ever heard.

I laughed, as well, “Homosexuals are turned on by the same gender, heterosexuals are turned on by the opposite, bisexuals are turn on by both… asexual aren’t turned on, at all.”

Justin seemed confused.

“Nobody does it for them. They have no sexual curiosities. No sexual desires.”

“Mooorrrrbid.”

I sputtered on my drink, “That’s a little dramatic, but… yeah.”

“I can’t imagine not being turned on by anything. What a miserable existence.”

“Or a desirable one. Imagine what a person can accomplish when they don’t have silly things like dicks and clits clouding their judgment.”

“But foreplay, Trev…”

“Yeah…”

“… yeah…”

“Multiple orgasms…”

“Well…” I had to nod, “Yeah, I see your point.”

“A-sexual…” His face turned like he’d just swallowed something foul, “Just throw yourself off a bridge and get it over with. Sheesh.”

I laughed, “How do we manage to go off on these tangents of ours?”

“How many men have you slept with?”

I almost choked on my drink, “I see you’re ready for round two… and so soon?”

“I’m just curious… very curious, actually. What’s your number?”

I eyed him, suspiciously. “My… what?”

He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye. He was playful, “Your number.”

“Social Security? Favorite? Lucky? Phone? There’s a lot of things that a person can mean when they ask for your number.”

“What do you think I mean?”

“I think you’re asking me how many men I’ve slept with. I hope you’re asking for my Social Security.”

He laughed, “You’d rather tell me your Social Security number than how many men you’ve slept with?”

“Yes.”

“Is it that high?”

“It’s that personal.”

“I’ll tell you mine.” He offered.

“I didn’t ask for it.”

“Good.” He grinned, widely, “Because I don’t know it.”

My eyes widened, “That many?”

“Yes.”

“Might I suggest you get tested?”

“Every six months.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know why I was surprised at this responsibility.

“Do you know yours?” He probed.

“Okay…” I set my drink down, “You’re not going to let this go.”

He thought about it, then looked at me. “No.” He shook his head, “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, Justin, I do happen to know my number. I’m not rich and I’m not hot. Those two setbacks alone are more than enough to keep me from getting laid for the whole of the decade.”

“You certainly aren’t rich… but the hot part is up for debate.”

“Are you trying to get in my pants? Because you don’t have to sweet talk your way in, Timberlake.”

He laughed out loud, “Oh no?” He asked. “Has it been a while, Trev? Are you a little frustrated?”

“Are you a little frustrated, Justin?”

“Very would be the word.” His jaw tightened, “Very frustrated.”

“Is your grace period for sexual frustration under 24 hours? Because I’m pretty sure you had your dick in a girl’s mouth just this morning.”

He seemed annoyed, “How many of those do you have left?”

“Weeks, months, years worth. I’ll be the dick suck heard round the world by the time I’m done with it.”

“Hm.” He wasn’t happy to hear that one. Not one bit.

“You’re Justin Timberlake… what’s the problem? You’re attractive and if your number is as high as you’ve implied then sleeping with a random girl clearly isn’t an issue for you. Finding a girl slutty enough to fuck you on sight would be quick and easy, in fact, you‘ve got four of them in here with us right now… what’s the problem? Why did you pick the only one that was your true friend? Why did you pick the only one that your emptiness would hurt the most?"

"I love Gia, but I'm not in love with her. I knew that and I'll never forgive myself for what I did to her."

"Judging from the fucking rant she threw at the dinner table, neither will she."

I noticed the way his eyes changed, and regretted saying that. Through the frown on his face, he softly replied, “My number’s not that high.”

I laughed, “You’re a liar.”

“All of the girls… with the exception of Gia, who I couldn’t even sleep with… they all happened when I was very young. All of them before Britney. I was so used to having sex just to have it. Just to experience the rush, the excitement and, you know… the climax…”

I shrugged. Anyone could understand that.

“It’s so different when you love the person. There’s the tenderness, the familiarity… the connection…” HE touched his chest, which I would have found over the top if he wasn’t being so sincere. “That’s what I crave now. Everything else just… doesn’t do it, anymore.”

“Well, okay. Go out… find a woman, fall in love with her really fast and then hit that.”

At this point I was trying to be funny because the conversation was growing uncomfortable for me.

“Britney’s the only person I’ve had sex with for four years. It would be weird… going back to those crazy days.”

“You’re a man, Justin. Of course it wouldn’t be weird. Just do it once and you’ll see.”

“It wouldn’t bother you, at all, if I went up there and fucked on of those baristas, right now? And you know I could…”

“Oh I know you could.” I laughed. “And, no, it wouldn’t bother me.”

“You’re a liar.”

“No. I mean it.”

“No. You don’t.”

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean, Justin.”

“Then stop lying! Stop lying to me!”

“Why are you yelling?!”

“What are you yelling?!”

“Because you’re pissing me off!” The coffee girls were all looking at us now. They looked half in shock and half hopeful that I stormed out of the shop in anger, leaving Justin there alone so they could comfort him, then make their move. Lucky for Justin and I, this Starbucks was suspiciously empty, we were the only ones in there, so our little rant was to a smaller audience than usual.

“I think we both need to just… calm down…” He sighed and looked away from me.

“I guess you are a little frustrated, huh?” I joked.

“Looks like you are, too.”

“I guess I am.” I admitted.

He took a moment to relax himself, then looked back at me. “I want you. Why do you have to hear me say that? You already know it.”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you throwing me to the wolves?”

“The red headed wolves or the blonde ones?”

“Tomato, tomato.”

“You threw yourself to them before I ever had the chance.”

“I thought I’d lost you.”

“You almost did.”

That shut him up. At least for a moment. He sat back in his chair, fiddled with his drink, checked a scuff on his shoe, and ran a hand through his hair before looking back at me. It was as if he didn’t know which direction he wanted to attack from, but he knew he had to attack. “Those girls are all the same. They all want the same thing from me. They all have the same selfish, empty goals. Fuck a celebrity. Marry a celebrity. Marry the money. Get your picture in the magazines. Even though she’s been with me forever… even though I trust her… I know that, deep down, Gia wants that, too. The status. I don‘t want that. I don‘t want a girl like that.” He stared at me, “ I want more than that.”

“You know I don’t want to see you with other girls.”

“I don’t want to see you with other guys. I thought about that a lot while we were apart. Who you were with. What you were doing. On a particularly long night I’d convinced myself that Chet had lured you to his dorm room, filled you with booze and seduced you.”

“That’s insane!” I laughed.

“That chipped at me.” He admitted.

“You were needlessly torturing yourself.”

“I almost went back.”

“You should have.” I said, and I meant it. More than anything, I wished that he had gone back to Vegas. Then none of this would have ever happened.

He stared at me. “Gia was just a stupid mistake that you never should have seen. She was a just a girl sucking a dick that was never for her.”

“Who was it for, then, Justin?”

He was silent for a long moment, looking at me like I was stupid, then he just stared. “Who else?” He whispered.

“Anyway…” I looked away from him and changed the subject, “I’m having second thoughts about the whole… mom thing…” I shot him a look and didn’t miss the look on his face. “I just think it was a bad idea from the start.”

“She is your mom.” He reasoned.

I shrugged, “That’s just blood. Considering the one person in the world who loves me more than anything is as white as snow and I’m black as can be… blood doesn’t count for a whole hell of a lot.”

He finished off his cappuccino, tossed it across the shop and snapped a finger when it landed right in the trash can. “How is Burns? Haven’t seen him in a while.”

“I can tell you’re all torn up.” I smirked, “Burns and I…” I looked up at him, “My god… we have so much to talk about.”

“I missed a lot, huh?”

“A whole lot. Burns and I aren’t talking.”

“What happened?”

I watched Justin and realized that I wasn’t the least bit hesitant to spill my heart to him right there. I wanted to tell him everything. Absolutely everything. “Another time.” I said, “We’re in the Maniac Mountain shopping center for Christ’s sake. There’s no unhappiness allowed here!”

“Whatever you say, Trev.”

“I say.” I finished the last of my drink and tossed it at the trash like Justin had.

He laughed out loud when it missed, “You suck, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby.” I curled my nose.

He leaned on the table, bringing his face dangerously close to my own, “But it fits you so well… baby.”

I raised my open palm to him, “This… close…”

His eyes shone, “How’s your leg?”

“Burns like hell.”

“You want me to see if the burn sprays working?”

“So you can get another gander at my panties? I’ll pass. Perv.”

“They were very tiny panties. Very cute. Very inviting. So unlike you.”

“Oh am I not inviting enough for you, Justin? Am I not cute enough? Tiny enough?”

“Actually, now that you mention it…” He bit his bottom lip and slowly released it, “I guess they’re kind of… perfect, for you.”

“I’ll make a note. Justin likes the pink panties.”

“Justin likes you.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“How do we do this?”

I gathered my purse, “What?”

He stared at me, “How do we hit so many rock bottoms the way we do, and manage to bounce back every time? Like it’s nothing.” His eyes searched mine, “How do we do that?”

“Well, I suppose… I suppose that’s what friends do, Justin.”

“Friends.” He watched me.

“Friends.” I confirmed.

“That makes sense.”

I think, deep down, we both knew… it really didn’t.

Finally, after more than an hour of talking, we thanked our nosey as baristas and made our way out of the coffee shop into the cool night air.

“What do you think about giving me a piggyback ride? My leg kills.”

He gave me a ‘you’re joking right’? look, but then stepped in front of me and bent his knees so his ass was pointing towards me. “Common.” He urged.

“You’re really going to give me a piggy back ride?!” I was thrilled. He was so much taller than me so I already knew this was going to be fun.

I set my hands on his shoulders, prepared to jump on, when he suddenly stood tall, turned on his heels and grabbed both of my elbows in his hands, tight.

“What?” I stared up at him, startled, hands still on his shoulders, leg still burning. Not nearly as much as the look in his eyes, though. “What?” I asked, again.

“This is bullshit.”

“What? I’m like a broken record over here! What?”

He looked deep into my eyes, and it all became so clear. “I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want that.”

“Oh…” I took my hands from his shoulders and held onto his arms instead. So there we stood in front of the Starbucks, holding each other.

“I’m sorry if that makes you… uncomfortable, but…” He didn’t finish. Just stared. Waited. His eyes searched mine, and after trying to fight it back and failing, he smiled, “We sure are giving those baristas one hell of a show, huh?”

“No.” I shook my head.

“No?”

I stood on my toes and used my grip on his arms to pull him towards me. I tilted my head up and his lips met mine halfway up. I groaned, deeply, at the contact and wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible.

His own arms slinked around my back and he stood tall, pulling me all the way up on my toes. He held me tight against him, working me with his lips. He had strong lips. His kissed me with a hunger, a vigor, that I’d never experienced before and when he tilted his head and slid his tongue past my lips, I was sure I’d died and gone to seventh heaven.

I pulled my mouth from his with a smack and he followed as I pulled away, eyes still closed and slightly frowning at the loss of contact.

“Now…” I gasped, struggling to regain the air I’d lost, “We’re giving them a show.”

He grabbed the back of my neck, pulled my lips back onto his and, assuming this was his goal, shut me up for good.

I pulled away, again, “You know what I was thinking?”

“Hm?” He licked his lips.

“That penis of yours…”

His eyes popped open. Yep, I knew that would get his attention.

“You know the one. The one that’s been the shining topic of every conversation today? I think I’d like to see it…” I bit my lip, “For myself. You know… just so I can brand my name on the head for the next bitch that decides to try and suck it.”

He stared at me, dumbfounded. No response.

“I want you.” I whispered, pressing my forehead to his, “And it’s not scary, anymore, just necessary.”

“Trevion… it would be cruel to kid me on this.”

“Yes, it would.” I grinned, then frowned, “It can’t be at your house. Everyone will be there. Let’s get a hotel. Someplace nice…”

It was as if I was speaking pure Portuguese and he didn’t understand a word of it. “Trev…”

“Justin. Do you want this?”

“Lord, yes.”

“So do I.”

His eyes searched mine, “Let’s go now, then.”

“Now is good.”

I wondered if he could tell, as we hurried to his car and drove away from Maniac Mountain without so much as a goodbye, that I hadn’t had sex it over a year.

I hope it didn’t radiate off of me.

My panties were so wet that they were almost soaking through the fucking dress and all over his leather interior.

I hoped he didn’t know that, either.

At the first stoplight, Justin clenched the wheel but kept his gaze straight on the road. “You have no fucking idea what you do to me. I don’t know how I’m going to get this truck anywhere…” The light turned green and he sped forward, “… I’m going to crash.” He mumbled, turning a sharp corner with one hand and honking at a car that he almost hit.

“You know… Kim is my life couch, I don’t think she’d be too happy about me going to a hotel with you without consulting her first. Maybe I should call her.” I shuffled my cell phone out of my purse and barely had it open when Justin snatched it from my grasp and threw it. It landed in the backseat somewhere with a thump.

I stared at him in shock.

He made another hard left.

“Where are we going?” I finally asked.

He threw me a look and smiled softly, but didn’t answer. Another sharp turn. Another honk to a driver that didn’t deserve it.

He sure was anxious. I smiled at him then put on my best helpless voice, which wasn‘t very good. “Please… where are you taking me? Are you going to kill me?“ I gasped, “Are you going to do…. naughty things to me?” I did my best dramatic cry, “Please, just let me call my friend and say goodbye!” My face fell, “Honestly, Justin, a tsunami wouldn’t change my mind on this. I just want to talk to Kim.” I began shuffling through the backseat for the phone.

“So you like to role play, huh?”

I almost feel into the backseat completely when the car sped up even more.

Oh, Justin. You have no idea.