My dorm room door was wide open. Kim never left it open. Or maybe she did.
"Hey," She said. When she actually paused the movie she was watching I glared.
"No need to roll out the red carpet, it's just me."
She pressed play, "Haven't seen your face in a few days."
"Me neither. It's been nice, huh?"
She just looked at me. Was that offense on her face? Never knew she cared so much, "You been with Justin?"
"Uh, none of your business? Yeah, that sound about right." I plopped down on my bed and it felt like hell compared to the one Justin had insisted on buying me. I refused to sleep on it. But it did look really pretty with all the beige marble furniture that I didn't use. And the flat screen that I didn't watch. I was just waiting for him to take the hint and stop buying me shit and putting it in his place. We weren't a fucking couple.
"You fucking him?"
Why wasn't I surprised by such a question? "No, Kim."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"REALLY?"
"Yeah, as much fun as this game is, I've been entertaining a pop star for the past week... I'm exhausted, alright? We can have our sparring fun later. Try not to kill me in my sleep."
"So... Justin doesn't even want to fuck you? He hasn't even tried?"
"He's smarter than that."
"Hm... US Weekly is seeing things a little differently."
"Huh?"
She threw the magazine from her bed and it landed face up next to mine. I looked damn good in the picture, so did Justin. And that was not a good thing. The headline "Timberlake Gal Pal Cause of Spears Miscarriage?" didn't help my rumbling stomach much, either.
"Oh, that's just... Not good."
--
Don't call my name, don't call my name, don't call my--
"Trevion Spencer?"
Fuck.
I glanced up from behind the Biology book I was pretended to read and saw my professor was looking at the compete opposite end of the room. I think it's worth it to just pretend that I don't exist. I had actually been followed to class by a bunch of girls I'd never seen in my life. They all wanted to fuck Justin, and they were all asking me how I'd done it. I mean, if a girl like me can get him then... Damn, any girl could, was basically what they were saying. I'm still too freaked out by the entire situation to even be capable of offense.
Only a few of the people in my class seemed to know why the hell I was going so out of my way to hide behind my book so I closed it softly and rolled my eyes.
"Here."
"Hey." The same guy that I'd fussed out not even a week ago, back when my life was normal, tapped me on the shoulder.
Be nice, Trevion. Be nice.
I looked at him, "Yes?" Stop gritting you teeth.
"Hey, I know you hate me--"
"I don't hate you..." Wow, I didn't even jump that quickly to reassure my own flesh and blood. Who the hell was this guy?
"Oh..." When he smiled it made me want to smile. It was really gross. "Well, I just wanted to know if you had a pen I could borrow?"
I raised my eyebrow and reached to pull an extra pen out of my purse, "Yeah, here you go, and... Yeah, I am the girl on the cover of Us Weekly. It's hanging out of your back pocket, by the way."
He blushed softly and I would have been done with him hadn't I been admiring how pretty his eyes were. I think I was an eye girl. It was always the first thing I noticed on a guy. This was the fist time in my life that I actually noticed myself noticing these type of things. His hair was dark, almost black, and wavy on top of his head and his skin was a little darker than mine. Dark enough that it made his honey colored eyes really reach out and scream, "Hey, look at us! We're so much prettier then you are! Ha!"
"Thanks." He smiled and I blinked. Had I really just zoned out for more then ten seconds on a guys eyes? "So how do you pronounce your name?"
"You're going to get annoying really fast."
He shrugged, "Probably. I'm definitely one of the leeches that uses people for what they can do for me."
"I appreciate your honesty."
"Really?"
"Yes, it's just too bad that I can barely do anything for myself. Let alone you. Just trying to save you some time."
"You're bumping uglies with Justin Timberlake, I'm sure there are a few things you can do for me."
"Justin Timberlake is not my boyfriend, he is not my friend, we are not bumping uglies."
"Oh, okay, that explains why you're holding hands on the cover of a magazine."
"You're a real smartass."
"Yeah... So are you."
"It works for me."
"But not for me?"
Oh, he was cute.
"Not so much. No."
"He's got to be your man."
Why did I want him to know that Justin wasn't my boyfriend? Because he was fine as hell? Yup, that was probably why.
"Justin is like... An insect. No, that's not nice. He's like a mouse. At first you're grossed out by them because they squeak and they stink and they're... Mice. But after a while if you tilt your head at it and squint your eye a little bit that mouse becomes actually... Almost tolerable. Ya know?"
He smiled wider, "No."
"Oh, well it made sense in my head."
"I'm sure it did." He looked away like he was finally going to leave me alone then looked back, "You think you might be able to talk him into getting me some studio time--"
"No."
"Okay!"
Good, listen to the professor. Leave me alone. I'm liking you way more than I should.
"I'm Chet, by the way."
"Oh wow, you must really hate your mother for that one."
"No, I actually like my name. Thanks, though, you sure know how to make a man feel warm inside."
"I do what I can."
"I'm sure you do, Treveyeon."
"It's Trevion."
"I knew you'd tell me how to pronounce it."
"Yep, you're one smooth cat, Chet."
He smiled. Did this guy ever stop smiling? He was worse than Justin.
"Whatever." He teased, rolling his eyes and looking back toward the front board.
Oh my god, we just had, like, the BEST conversation!
--
"Hey, you need a ride home?"
I examined the dirt under my nails and thought how pathetic it was that Justin's were cleaner than mine. Justin also takes three showers a day. Fucking freak, so that made me feel better.
"Hey!"
I think I'll go up to my roof tonight. Haven't been up there in a while. I'm more confident that Justin is sane, well, as much as he can be, so maybe it wont be so tainted with his former self. Man, it will still never be the same up there. That was the place I went to to forget everything. Since Justin was just plain not going to let me kick him out of my life there was no way I could go up to the roof and not think about his ass. Damn him for tarnishing my special place!
"Yo! Trevion! Hey?!"
Huh?
"What?"
Whoa, hot guy from Bio class. Coming this way! Quick, think of a reason to get away from him before you do something stupid. Fuck, too late.
"Hey... I was calling you back there." He said, coming into step next to me and taking a deep breathe.
"Sorry, I'm so used to people going out of their way to avoid me. Wasn't so ready for you."
"Now who would want to avoid you?"
"I appreciate your sarcasm. It's comforting."
He laughed.
"You always this happy?"
"No, only with you."
"Well, that's a lie, since you've know me for thirty minutes."
"I was happy after three."
"You're almost as charming as Justin."
"Ouch."
I smiled. Ew. Stop it, Trevion, good god.
"Do you need a ride?"
I shook my head, "No... I live up in Dalton."
"The dorms?"
"Yeah."
"Damn, you'd think Justin Timberlake would spring for the Senior Complex, at least."
"He's not springing anything when it comes to me. The cover of that magazine is just one big.... Huge fucking mistake."
"It doesn't look like a mistake to me. Looks like he really likes you."
"He does, but we're working on that."
"Why? He's rich."
"Yeah, I tried but that really can't be helped."
"But he can give you anything you want."
"I don't want anything from him, okay? Or anybody."
"You tell yourself that every morning? Or every night before you go to sleep?"
"Every minute."
"Whatever works, I guess."
Okay, he was way too good. How was he keeping up with me?
"Alright, Chet, well, I guess I'll see you later."
He seemed surprised, probably since my dorm was still a good hundred feet away, but he nodded, "Yeah, in class on Wednesday?"
"Sure, why not?"
Oh, god. Had we just formed some kind of relationship?
"Two in one week? For christs sake, slow it down, Trev." I said to myself.
It's such a long ass walk from Bio class to my dorm room but once I hit the third parking lot I take a deep breath of relief because that means I'm home free. Only thirty five steps to the double doors of Dalton.
Not today. Not ever again in my life, it seems.
"I've gotten so disgustingly familiar with this truck that I knew it by the damn license plate." I said, coming up to the side window of Justin's car, "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you. Are you alright?"
I shrugged, "I'm alive."
He held up a copy of US Weekly and I rolled my eyes.
"I know."
He held up a cover of Star magazine. This time a picture of me and him shared half of the cover with a picture of Britney Spears. The word "miscarry" flashed in my eyes again.
"Didn't know." I mumbled, my heart pounding.
He dropped the Star onto the dash. This time it was In Touch.
I shook my head, "Not so much, but let me tell you, this never gets old."
He rolled his eyes and pressed a button that made the car make all sorts of fancy sounds, "Get in."
"That's funny, I'm forgetting when hell froze over and you because my daddy."
"Trevion, I'm not in the mood."
"Oh, god for-fucking-bid, Justin."
"Do you even realize what this means? What a big deal this is? This is the reason that I left, Trev."
"No, I don't know what it means. I was only followed to class today by a bunch of stupid girls. People who didn't give a shit about me last week are looking at me, talking to me, wanting to know where I'm going and what's going on between us. No one gave a shit before, Justin, and now they're everywhere, how the fuck do you think I feel?"
"That's what I'm saying. That's all I care about is how you feel about all of this."
"Well, pretty shitty, but I've been doing a good job of not thinking about it thus far."
"That wont last."
"Well, it's going to have to. I'll talk to you later."
When I walked away from his car I was surprised he didn't follow me. And when I heard him drive away I was actually disappointed. Maybe even... Sad. Regretful.
That was a new one.
--
Three hours. That's how long I lasted. When the front door of his condo opened and I looked into his eyes I didn't even feel as stupid as I thought I would for giving in. I was actually happy I did. Relieved even.
He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a look I saw in my head the entire way down. "What took you so long?"
"My relentless pigheadedness."
"It's like steel."
I rolled my eyes.
Justin's arms came uncrossed and when he stepped by to let me through I passed without looking at him. The place looked bigger, which I didn't think was even possible. Some movie that I would never guess a guy would be into was playing on his television.
"How did you get down here?" He asked, closing the door and reaching under his shirt to scratch his stomach as he followed me in.
I dropped my bag and plopped on the couch, "I rode a bike."
"You have a bike?"
"I stole it."
He scoffed from behind me but I didn't care enough to look, "I would have given you a ride."
"I don't know your number."
"Like you would have called, anyway."
"Probably not."
"Have you read the magazines?"
"The tabloids?" I asked, watching as he circled the couch and held out a bottle of water to me. I shook my head and he set it on the coffee table before plopping next to me, "I figured it would be all bullshit anyway."
He shrugged his shoulders, "Actually, it's usually not."
I hesitated, "So... Then Britney miscarried?"
He was immediately uncomfortable. It showed on his face and in his body language instantly, "I thought you didn't read it." He took a big swig of his water.
"The bold impact font on the front cover was quite telling."
He kept his focus on the television like he hadn't heard a word.
"You want to talk?"
"No."
"Well, I do."
"Then talk."
"How do you do this, Justin? I've been through five hours of it and I just want to fucking scream at what idiots people are."
"After a while it stops being about the people."
"What? When? They're fucking everywhere and they're stupider than ever."
"It stops being about them when it starts being about you. When you're walking through a fucking store one day and you're whole life is on the cover of a magazine. For everyone and anyone. People who you don't know, never seen, never met in your fucking life know that you're girlfriend is cheating on you, that you fucked some groupie at this party, threw up at a restaurant in that city. It stops being about the people when it starts being about your life. And I mean the shit that supposed to be just for you, ya know?"
"Wow, that little speech make me feel like an asshole for freaking out about some college kids messing with me."
"Well, it should. Because it could be a lot worse for you. And I'm just trying to help you out and you keep treating me like a fucking animal. I'm not against you, Trevion. I'm on your side."
"You're the reason it's happening." Why was I using a soothing tone for his benefit? By now he would surely be getting cussed of if this was me seven days ago.
"I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this for you."
"That doesn't matter because you knew! You just wanted somebody else to drag down into your miserable fucking life. Well, congradu-fucking-lations, Justin, here the fuck I am!"
"Stop cussing."
"Oh, fuck you."
"Fuck you!"
The phone in his pants rang and for some reason, since he was in the middle of his rage, I don't know, he actually reached into his pocket and answered it, "What?"
Watching his face was a little frightening for me. I had never seen so many emotions play on a persons face so quickly in such a short amount of time. Before I could even process the thought of somehow comforting him he'd slammed the phone shut and thrown it across the room.
"Fuck!" I jumped and covered my head with my hands when it slammed against the wall and flew into a jillion pieces. Fuck, Justin, that's a thousand dollar phone. Give the shit to me before you decide to smash it into the wall. I'll use it as an alarm clock. Sell it on Ebay. Shit, something.
I wasn't anywhere near stupid enough to ask who had just called.
"Oh my god." He cried, putting his face in his hands and dropping his head back against the couch, "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
I reached out a hand to him and the second it touched his arm he flinched away from it, "Sorry." I said, scooting to the edge of the couch and putting my head in my hand. This couldn't suck any fucking more even if I wanted it to.
We sat in silence for what had to be twenty minutes before I finally heard Justin take something that somewhat resembled a breath. His hands fell from his face and he stared up at the ceiling.
"This is so fucked up."
Yeah... Yeah, it sure is.
I don't want to be like this." He tilted his head and looked at me, "I didn't want to drag you down with me, Trevion. I swear... I didn't even think of the photographers, the magazines, I was just so consumed... So fucking angry. I didn't even think..."
"I know." I didn't know, but whatever got him out of this funk I'd hand it over on a silver platter.
"No you don't."
Damn, how did he know?
He watched me, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be--"
"I do. I understand better than anyone, Trevion. I wouldn't wish this... On my worst fucking enemy I wouldn't wish this shit." He shook his head again and covered his face with his hands, "Fuck."
"Hey, common," I reached out and pushed his shoulder, he didn't flinch away that time, "I'm not mad, alright?"
"No? Cause I'm fucking pissed."
I paused, "Did Britney really miscarry?"
He looked at me and his eyes shrunk, but no tears came, the anger overwhelmed them too quickly, "Yeah."
That surprised me, I didn't know why, "Was it... Yours?"
He cringed.
"You don't have to answer that."
He didn't.
I played with my fingers, almost ready to laugh at how little time it had taken for my life to go to shit, "You want to go to the video store?"
Justin looked over at me like I had two heads before bursting in laughter, "What the fuck?"
