When my alarms went off the next morning I looked over at Justin and he gave me a smile. He turned the alarms off and wrapped his arms around me before kissing my forehead. He’s getting used to the crazy alarms. There used to be the days that he jumped up and almost had a heart attack. Come to think of it, he freaked out pretty much every morning.
“Are you getting used to my alarms?”
“Nah,” he smiled as he held up his phone, “I set mine a few minutes before yours goes off. It still scares me Pooky.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s cool,” he stretched his hands over his head before getting up, “So are you going to find a dress? My mom’s a good shopper, she’s got an eye for it.”
I nodded my head, “I should get two right? One for the show and one for the after thing?”
“Yeah, not a gown though” he said with that sexy smile he has.
“Thanks Snuckums” I rolled my eyes.
“You’re welcome,” he let go of me and sat stood up, “I’ll call you when I get out and we can meet up for dinner?”
“OK, what do you have to do?”
“Sound check and some interviews. I should be done by six, do you think you’ll be done by then?”
I sure hope I’m done by then. Justin’s mother is coming over at ten, it better not take eight hours to find a stupid dress. I was thinking we’d be done in an hour. I guess I’m seriously underestimating this whole finding a dress thing.
“I think we’ll be done by then.”
Justin grabbed a t-shirt from his suitcase and turned around giving me a smile as he pulled it over his head, “I don’t know, finding the perfect dress could take time.”
“I don’t need the perfect dress I just need a dress.”
He gave me a look before leaning over and kissing my forehead, “Have fun.”
“That’s it? You’re leaving?”
He nodded his head and pouted, “I have to, I don’t want to.”
“What should I wear?”
“You’re going out with my mother to find something.”
“No, what should I wear to go shopping?’
Justin laughed, throwing his head back of course, “Pooky, you crack me up. She doesn’t care what you wear. Relax. Have fun, my mother’s fun,” he kissed my lips quickly before walking towards the door, “I’ll call you later. Lock the doors when you leave alright?” I nodded my head and waved at him. He waved back and laughed, “Bye Pooky.”
“Bye Snuckums.”
I let out a sigh and fell back on the bed. Things are going really well with Justin and I. I like him… a lot. He seems to like me too, I mean he did have me meet his mother and she wants to take me to find a dress. That means something. Either she doesn’t hate me or she knows that Justin likes me so even though she hates me she’s trying to like me just a little for her son. I hope it’s not the latter.
By the way his mother talks to me, it makes me think that she does like me, at least a little bit. She’s just a nice lady, I think that helps. We went around to a bunch of different stores, or no they’re boutiques. Little stores that just sell dressed and other weird things. The weird part is that they only have like one of everything and so if it’s not in your size you’re in trouble. I don’t like that everyone comes up to you and keeps asking if everything is all right. I’m not much of a shopper and it annoys me when they’re all in your face.
I guess it’s good given the circumstances though. Everyone seemed to put a lot of thought into the different dresses they had me try on. Every single store we went to they told me they had the perfect dress for me. That made me laugh because Justin said I would have to find the perfect dress and I told him I wasn’t going to. I should know by now that whatever he says as far as the whole music stuff is right. Most of the salespeople did not find the perfect dress for me, which is why there were so many salespeople and so many different boutiques.
Justin’s mother did not get annoyed with me even once. A few times I got annoyed with myself because I couldn’t find the right dress. I’m not even looking for a perfect dress but I just want something that’s kind of nice. I mean it is my first MTV Award’s Show and my first time ever working a red carpet. Oh dammit, here come the hives.
“This one here is so you,” the saleslady said holding up a blue dress that was really low cut. Clearly she does not know me because this dress could not be further from being me.
I looked over at Justin’s mother and she laughed at the face I made, “Blue will make your eyes pop out, give it a try.”
I nodded my head and walked into the dressing room with the boob dress and a few others that the sales lady also said were “totally me.”
As I tried on the blue boob dress I was surprised that it actually wasn’t that bad. It’s quite cute actually even though it is a little low. But it does make my boobs look amazing. And my eyes do pop out. My cell phone rang which made me snap back to reality for a minute. I looked at the caller ID and noticed it was Johnny, “Hello?”
“Hey Gianna, how are you?”
“Good, I’m just looking for a dress. I can’t really decide.” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror.
“You better get two.”
“What?” Why would I get two dresses?
“Britney Spears backed out performing and MTV contacted me. To make a long story short, they want you to perform at the show.”
Is that supposed to be a good thing? He has got to be kidding me, this has to be a joke, “And you told them no?” I asked softly.
“No, of course I told them you’d do it. Congratulations sweetie, you’re going to do great. Listen my other line is beeping in and I need to take it. We’re trying to fit you in for a sound check tomorrow; I’ll let you know when I know. I’ll call you back with the details. Congratulations sweetie.”
And he hung up.
“No” I said to the phone with no one on the other end. I don’t want to do the MTV VMA’s. I’m not ready. Clearly I’m not ready. And even if I was ready I’m not. I was nervous enough just going to the show, I can’t possibly perform. There’s no way. I slid down so I was sitting on the ground and took deep breaths trying to control my panic attack. There is no possible way I can do this.
I tried thinking of other thoughts and counting to ten and raising my hands over my head like Justin said. Nothing worked. It’s abnormally hot in here. I guess I was in there longer than I thought because I heard Justin’s mother knocking on the door and her worried voice spoke, “Gianna, sweetie, are you alright in there?”
I took a deep breath before answering so she couldn’t tell that I was trying to catch my breath, “No… I mean yes. Just one minute.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
I nodded my head then remembered she couldn’t see me, “I’m ok.” I wish I could pick myself up so I don’t look like a fool in front of Justin’s mother. I also wish Justin were here right now so he could help me get through this.
I felt a hand on my back and then realized that I was still sitting on the ground of the dressing room with one of those doors that doesn’t go down to the ground. I looked back to see that it was Justin’s mother’s hand and she was not sitting on the ground along with me.
“Why don’t you open the door and we’ll talk?”
I nodded my head, once again forgetting that she couldn’t see me, and then stood up and opened the door. She came in with me and then sat down next to me on the stool in the dressing room. She didn’t say anything, or try to get me to say anything, which was refreshing. She just sat there and rubbed my back making me feel like it would be all right, even though she didn’t know what it was that was freaking me out.
“Johnny said that Britney Spears backed out and they want me to perform tomorrow.”
“Oh my goodness that’s great Gianna, it’s your big chance,” her smile made me feel like she actually thought it was good.
I shook my head, “no, it’s not. I can’t do it though. I’m not ready.”
“Of course you’re ready.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve never done anything like that and I need time to prepare. I need a lot of time to prepare.”
“You’ve been preparing for so long. It’s just one song. There’s no need to be nervous. When Justin did his first show it was the VMA’s too. And he was so nervous he’d tell you. There was nothing to be nervous about. He had so much fun and everyone got to see him and took him seriously as a solo artist. If it wasn’t for that who knows if he would be where he is today.”
I nodded my head, this time I was sure she could see it. It’s not making me feel better though, I still don’t want to do it. I bet that when I see Justin he’s going to tell me that he’s excited and it’s going to be awesome and I’m still going to feel sick to my stomach. What if I mess up? With if I forget the words? What if I pass out on stage?
These are the questions that go through my warped out brain.
I wish I could be normal for a second and actually think this is good. It is good. Well, it could be good. It could also be disastrous. For me, I’m thinking it’s going to be a disaster.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry it's been so long I've been crazy busy. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think :)
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