My alarms sounded a little fainter than usual and when I opened my eyes I saw it was because I had fallen asleep in front of the door. I took a shower and got ready really quick because I have to go to a radio interview. When I went to leave I had to step over Justin because he was sleeping outside of my door. I guess he fell asleep too. He looks really cold and uncomfortable. I almost feel bad. But then I remembered that he has a girlfriend so I kept walking.
He woke up as I walked by and stood up, “Gianna.”
Thankfully the elevator door was able to close before he got too close. I made it to the interview without him catching up. I really feel sick to my stomach thinking about him. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about him but I can’t stop. Why can’t I stop? He’s gross.
“We’re here live with Gianna Gibralda, now Gianna, we just premiered your song last week and let me tell you there has been more people calling in and requesting it than we’ve had in a real long time.”
I nodded my head and then realized I was on the radio and they can’t see me so I should probably try talking, “That’s so cool, thank you.”
“What’s it like to be on tour with Justin?”
“It’s fun.”
“Yeah, I bet. You two have gotten very close on tour haven’t you?”
I shrugged; damn there I go again with the whole not talking thing. I just really don’t want to talk about this. Ever. Especially not with these two guys I don’t even know. “I guess, he’s kind of been like a mentor to me.”
“What about rumors that you two are dating?”
“We’re not dating. I can promise you that.”
I think maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
For the rest of the day I managed to stay clear of Justin for the most part. There were a couple close calls and one time I had to literally run away from him. It’s not my fault, I turned the corner and there he was talking to one of his dancers. He saw me and stopped talking but I’m too fast for him.
I ran into the makeup room out of breath and closed the door quickly, “Are you alright?” Stacy asked with a laugh.
“Yeah, hi.”
“You’re a little early,” she looked at her watch, “Like three hours early.”
“I’m not here for you to do my makeup, I’m here to hide.”
“From what?”
I took a deep breath; I don’t really want to talk to her about it because she always takes Justin’s side. And she always thinks I’m overreacting. I’m so sick of everyone thinking I’m overreacting. I know I do sometimes, but this is not one of those cases. At all.
“Or from who?” she continued, “Justin?”
“I was thinking you could do my nails.” I tried to change the subject. She’s wanted to do my nails forever but I’m not big on nails. Plus I need them to play and I’m afraid I might get distracted.
She looked at me for a second before grabbing my hand and a file and got to work. “Is everything ok?” I nodded my head, “Justin?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“So yeah, it’s about Justin.”
“I thought if you did my nails it would shut you up. If not forget it, I’ll go somewhere else. “
“Alright, we won’t talk about it. But I’m here when you’re ready to. It does help.” I know she’s waiting for me to tell her something, but I’m not going to, “Are you excited to get out there again?” I nodded my head, “Did you miss me?”
I laughed, “Of course.”
“Good. I saw you on the VMS’s.”
“Oh great, I was amazing wasn’t I?”
She laughed, “You did great. I loved it.”
“He has a girlfriend.”
“Who Justin?” I nodded my head, “Yeah, you.”
“No, like a real girlfriend. Cameron Diaz.”
“Cameron? No, sweetie, they broke up a long time ago. He hasn’t seen her in…”
“Hours? She was in his room yesterday. I was there and he told me to leave because he had an interview to do and then I walked by and saw Cameron Diaz give him a hug before leaving his room.”
Stacy was silent for a few seconds trying to take it all in, “I don’t think he would…”
“He did.”
She stopped filing my nails and looked at me again. Who would think Justin would turn out to be such a jerk? She’s as surprised as I am. Someone started banging on the door and she walked over to it.
“Hey Stace, have you seen Gi?” it was Justin, obviously. Just hearing his voice made me cringe a little.
“No, I haven’t seen her.” I love her, I really thought she would sell me out and tell him.
“Oh,” he sounded disappointed for a second, “Well, it’s you see her tell her I’m looking for her alright?”
“Will do,” she closed the door and walked back over to be, grabbing the nail file again. “Justin’s looking for you.”
I laughed, “Thanks Stacy.”
“Sure sweetie, but you do need to talk to him.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes, you know you have to.”
“I don’t have anything to say to him.”
“Then listen, I’m sure he has a lot to say.”
I really just want to go home. Well, I don’t want to go home because I want to go on tonight but maybe if I hide out every day and then go onstage and go back to the hotel and lock the door and hide out again until the next show Justin won’t see me for months. It could work.
When she finished my nails, they actually look cute, I had to leave because she had to get all the other people ready so I snuck out and managed to make it back to my dressing room without running into Justin even once. It is very possible to make it the rest of the tour without seeing him once. I really think I could do it.
Touring is boring though without him. I don’t even remember how I spent all my time. It’s only four and I don’t even go on until 7:30. What would I usually be doing now? Probably playing cards with Justin or doing yoga with Justin or playing basketball with Justin or running around the venue… yeah with Justin. I could go run around without him, but then I might run into him. I’d rather just hang out in here and twiddle my thumbs.
I jinxed myself because Justin came in my dressing room a few minutes later. He just walked in like he owned the place. “Um, excuse me I’m trying to do yoga.”
“Are you? It looks like you’re sitting on the couch.”
“I’m getting ready to do yoga.”
“Oh, ok,” he nodded his head and smiled before sitting down next to me, “I’ve been looking for you all day.”
I know you idiot, why does he act like I don’t know that?
“Are you ready to listen?” he looked right at me but I looked away.
“No, I don’t need to listen.”
“You don’t need to listen.”
“No. I don’t want to.”
“Because you already know everything.” I nodded my head. He sure as hell does not need to give me an attitude right now.
“Don’t be rude.”
“Now I’m being rude, and we’re back to that.”
I rolled my eyes, “I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“You don’t have to talk, just listen. I happen to still be friends with my ex-girlfriend.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“I haven’t seen her in months and she happened to be in Orlando filming a movie so she came by and…”
“I’m not listening.” I covered my ears and looked away from him.
Justin pulled my hands away from my ears and looked more pissed off than he had ever been in his life, “Would you stop acting like you’re 8 and listen to me?” he shouted, “It is one thing to be paranoid and nervous and annoying and have the ability to overreact with every fucking thing. But for you to sit there and look at me and think I’d cheat on you is a fucking insult. I have never in my life so much as looked at another girl when I’m with somebody.” He stood up and started pacing around the room, “Cameron was over for ten minutes, and you know that because you were with me before and after. We talked about you the whole time Gianna.”
“You’re getting really upset.” He wanted me to say something so I did, although I know that’s not what he wanted me to stay.
“No shit Gi. Why would I have sex with you and then go meet up with my ex-girlfriend for anything more than to talk?”
“I don’t know Justin, why?”
He took a deep breath, “You’re fucking ridiculous Gianna. Get some fucking Xanax.”
“OK, and that’s not ridiculous at all,” I answered sarcastically, “If you cared about me as much as you claim you do you wouldn’t stoop that low.”
He took a deep breath and sat down again.
“I know that I freak out about things that don’t always need to be freaked out about but this isn’t one of those things,” I answered calmly, “You had sex with me, asked me to leave, and had your ex-girlfriend over. Whether you did something or not you knew it was wrong or you would have told me your ex-girlfriend was going over instead of lying and saying you had an interview to do.”
“No, I didn’t tell you because I knew you would overreact.”
“I would not overreact if you did not ask me to leave and introduced me to her instead of hiding me from her.”
“I am not hiding you from her Gianna, do you want to meet her? You can meet her.”
He’s insane. Seriously insane. “I don’t want to meet her.”
“What do you want then?”
“You to get out of my room and let me do yoga.”
He did leave, more like stormed out, but he left me alone for the rest of the day. As I walked down to the stage I didn’t see Justin anywhere. Usually he’s somewhere with a shot ready for me. There was no shot. I don’t need a shot, it’s just that I’m used to it.
It felt weird going on stage again, and for a second before I went out there I did not want to do it. But as soon as I got out there I remembered why I missed it so much.
After getting off the stage, I walked right by Justin and his dancers. He did look at me, he like watched me as I walked by but I pretended like he wasn’t even there. I know that’s probably not the right thing to do, and I do feel a little bad that I’m making him so mad. But hell, he made me even madder.
I walked past him and go right in a car that took me back to the hotel. I don’t know what I’m doing. So I guess I’ll just do some yoga.
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