Alright

Do you remember those things I told you about? The ones I'm not so proud of? Well, here's one of them.

Nakia wasn't exactly single when I met her. In fact, she was very much attached. Engaged, actually. Don't get me wrong, I didn't go up to her fiancé, chest out and shoulders wide, demanding that he'd give her to me. I didn't even expect to fall for her at first. Or anyone for that matter. I was still depressed over the whole Heather thing and was still having lots of bitter resentment toward the opposite sex. But that wouldn't stop me from making a friend.

Kia, as I like to call her, isn't exactly the type I go for. She was shy and self-conscious. Normal and ordinary. Quiet and too goodie-goodie. But that's before I got to know Nakia . The time when I was too shallow and stubborn to pull my head out of my ass and see the masterpiece before me. Sure, she wasn't into me either. And I'm man enough to admit that the first time we hung out, we clashed completely.

"So, what do you believe in?" she asked me as I looked up from my bread sticks long enough to see her curious smile.

"I believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny." I answered jokingly. She laughed lightly and rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious," she stated, "Where are you on a spiritual level?" I shrugged, a small smile creeping up the corner of my mouth.

"I believe in God," I said in a disinterested tone, "But I'm not really part of a religious domination." She nodded.

"So, what do you practice?" she asked, whipping a crumb off the corner of her mouth.

"I pray . . . " I trailed off, realizing that my faith and practices were rather limited, "I believe in angels." Nakia's face said it all.

"So you don't go to church?" She was shocked and I was amused.

"When?" I asked, grinning, "I'm constantly on the road, Nakia. I don't have time." She didn't look too amused.

"Too busy for God?" I laughed, but it soon ceased when I realized how serious she was.

"I don't have time, but I still pray."

"Pray what?" she asked, her shyness fading and her inner bitch revealing itself, "That you get lucky with the cute girl in the front row of your audience?" Well, that was uncalled for.

"I don't sleep with my fans." I stated.

"No, you sleep with their older sisters." Okay, I did that once. But damn, she was fine.

"No, I don't!" I growled, "Who the hell are you to judge me?" She gasped lightly and gripped her napkin.

"Don't use that language around me!" I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"The last time I checked, you weren't my mother." Nakia narrowed her eyes.

"Thank goodness," She raised a brow smugly, "I'd hate to be the one to blame for the birth of you." My eyes widened, shocked that she had just called me a mistake.

"Of course you wouldn't," I agreed sarcastically, "Who'd want to be the mother of one of the most successful men on the planet?" She snorted and sighed.

"Is that how you see yourself?" she asked, rhetorically, "As some bank account who's the best because his face is on the cover of Us Weekly?"

"It's not about the money," I argued, "I'm an artist, I'm doing what I love to do." She stood, pushing in her chair before walking over to me.

"Don't patronize me, Justin," she said, "You could make music in your mother's basement. It's more than that. And you know it."

She was right. It was more than that. I loved my luxurious life. I had eight cars, two mansions, and six Harleys. But I earned it fair and square. Yet, I couldn't help but marvel over how smart she was. That argument made me realize that there was something behind those black-framed glasses and a wool sweater.

She was all woman. And Nakia proved it when we went out two nights later. It was a club outing with her, Steven (her fiancé), Trace, and I. It was the first night I saw her out of sweats and sweaters. She wasn't dressed like a whore or anything. In fact, she had on a very classy silk shirt and jeans. Nakia was gorgeous in her outfit, but I could see she was uncomfortable in the crowd of the club. But I showed her around, introduced to her some of my friends and even stole a dance out of her.


Ok I see you checking me out (checking me out)
I think I know what you winkin' about (winking about)
You wit your man you don't want him to see (want him to see)
It's alright with me


I giggled when she whirled around, shaking that ass of hers teasingly, but never coming close enough for me to touch her. She wasn't into the whole "grinding thing,” as she so eloquently put it. So, I opted for the close but no cigar aspect of things. I held her wrist and we moved along to the beats of the music. It was like dancing with my grandma, but fun nonetheless.


I know I drank I little bit much (hey)
You think I'm talking crazy and such (hey)
I can't walk straight but girl I can see
You're alright with me


I must've been drunk when I felt Nakia crash into my chest, her laughter ringing through my ears, causing me to smile. I had never been this close to her before and believe me, it was great. She smelled like flowers. Something along the lines of freesia. Her skin felt so soft as her hands caressed my neck as she threw her arms over my shoulders.

"You are great!" she stated enthusiastically. Clearly, she was tipsy. Her contagious giggle escaped her lips and she smiled up at me.

"And you're drunk!" I mocked. She feigned a surprised expression before cracking a smile.

"Just a little bit," she admitted as I laughed.

"Yeah, just a little bit."


Alright
I see a little something that I like
You lookin' mighty fine in them skin tights
You know what I mean
It's alright with me


We swayed back and forth, completely off beat, but not caring. She stared at me and I stared at her. I didn't know what she was thinking, but I was feeling some type of way. Her smile. Her smell. Her sparkling eyes. She had me in that moment and for every moment after that. I was slowly but surely falling for her with every passing second.

But she wasn't mine.


Hold up
I know you got a man but I'm
Tore up
And I don't even care if he
Roll up
With something to say
You better tell him he don't want it with me


So, I kept my feelings a secret. One of things I didn't tell my mom. Why? Because I was seriously considering messing with her anyway. Not that she gave me any sign that she had the same thought process as me. I was ashamed. I wanted somebody I couldn't have.


Come on why don't you test me (test me)
If you want me come and get me (get me)
I'll show you who the best be (best be)
I'll watch you for a long time (long time)
I swear you're looking alright (alright)


Until that glorious day came. The day when I opened my door and she was standing there, tears falling from her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my heart suddenly pulsated with concern. She walked up and wrapped her arms around my middle, putting her face into my chest.

"I'm a horrible person." she wailed as she sniffled. I rubbed her back and strategically shut the door with my foot. I guided her over to my couch and we sat down. She finally peeled herself off of me and looked down at her hands.

"Why do you think that?" I asked, taking her tiny hand into mine.

"I broke up with Steven." I'd be lying if I said I wasn't doing mental cartwheels when she said that.

"How come?" I asked, trying to sound as shocked and disappointed as I could. She shrugged and looked up at me.

"I've been feeling . . . things." she explained, "For someone else." My heart leapt as a moment of hope flashed before me. But it soon was over when I realized someone else could be anybody.

"Who?" I asked, not really knowing if I wanted to know. She smiled and laughed.

"You're kidding, right?" I raised a brow and smiled awkwardly, not really knowing what she was getting at.

"No. . . . I mean . . . I don't think I am." She laughed and wiped her drying tears from her face.

"You are so blind," she breathed, "It's you, you idiot." I laughed and blushed, not really knowing what to say anymore.

"Thank God!" I shouted as she giggled, "I was worried that you loved someone else."

"No, I love you." As soon as the words fell from her mouth, she turned away and blushed. She had suddenly become quite interested in a spot on the floor, "I mean . . . not love, but you know, I . . . " I smiled as she stuttered and rambled helplessly.

"I love you too." I interrupted. Nakia's look of genuine shock caused me to chuckle heartily.

"Thank goodness!" she mimicked. I smiled and kissed her, catching her off guard.

"Whoa," she said, pressing her hand against my chest, "Watch the tongue, buddy." I laughed, thinking she was joking.

"Yeah, okay." I went to lean back in, but she put out her hand in protest.

"I'm serious, no tongue." I stared at her, looking for some form of amusement, but found none.

"What? But . . . " Nakia's finger laid on top of my lips, silencing me.

"Don't make me regret any of this already." I smiled, impressed that she could be so stubborn. I kissed her finger and she pulled it away, laughing.

"You won't ever regret this." I promised, my eyes never leaving hers . . .

"Daddy!" I smiled when I heard Josie's jovial voice ringing through the quiet hospital. I turned away from Nakia's door, resting my hands on the arms of the chair, pushing myself up so that I could walk down the hall to meet Josephine.

"How's my baby girl?" I asked as she jumped into my open arms. I lifted her tiny body off the ground and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I'm fine, daddy." She kissed my cheek and I grinned even wider.

"Uncle Joshy dropped you off?" I asked. She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder.

"He said he was going to get Eva," she informed me, "Where's mama?" I paused momentarily before turning toward the hospital room's door.

"She's in there getting her medicine," I told her, "When Nancy comes out, we can go see her." Her curious hazel eyes found my blue ones.

"Who's Nancy?" I chuckled and sat down on a chair, placing her on my knee.

"You remember Nancy," I reminded, "She's mama's nurse. The one who brought you that Sponge Bob watch." Her face brightened and her smile came into view. She looked just like her mother.

"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed, "I remember Nancy!" I shushed her with a smile.

"You have to use your indoor voice," I explained, "Remember, people are sleeping." She nodded and pretended to zip her lips closed. I smiled before I heard Nakia's door open.

"Hey, Josie," Nancy beamed, "How's my girl?" Josie blushed and climbed down from my lap.

"I'm fine," she answered, "Where's my mommy?" Nancy kindly took her small hand and guided her into the room.

"She's been asking for you all day," Nancy told her, "She really misses you." I followed them into the room, waiting by the door.

"Hey mama!" Josie whispered excitedly. Nakia turned and faced her, reaching out for a hug.

"Give mama some sugar." I laughed lightly as Josie placed her tiny lips on Kia's face. Nancy smiled and excused herself, shutting the door behind her.

"I missed you, mama," Josie confessed as her eyes filled up with tears, "I don't want you to go." I swallowed hard, finding it extremely difficult not feel her pain.

"I don't want to either," Nakia cooed, "But if God wants it . . . "

"I thought God wanted me to be happy," Josie interrupted, "I'm not happy." She wiped her tears angrily and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I know, but you know God's always going to take good care of you and daddy." My tears rolled down my face.

"Is there good cooking in heaven?" Josie suddenly asked, causing Nakia and I to laugh simultaneously.

"Yeah. They have chicken, rice, cornbread . . . " Kia said, playing along.

"Do they have cobblers just like Nana's?" Josie interrupted again. Nakia giggled and looked over at me. I winked and she smiled as she turned back to Josie.

"They sure do," she said, "Whipped cream too." Josie beamed, satisfied with Nakia's answer.

"Good because when I go to heaven, that's all I'm gonna eat." My vision was slowly being blurred by my new tears, but I was smiling. Happy that Josie would have this moment with her mom. Even happier that I'm here to watch it. I was searing this into my memory. Etching every detail into my mind.

I want to remember this forever.