Stay With You

I smiled as Nakia breathlessly laughed as we talked about the pictures we were lazily going through. I decided that I needed to lighten up the mood of the hospital by remembering the fun of our past rather than mourning the arrival of our dreadful future. Well, my future. It felt weird to think of it like that, but I had to face the truth.

"Oh," Nakia cooed as her hands weakly ran over a photograph she was holding, "Josie." My eyes landed on the picture and I smiled. It was of Nakia and me, embracing a newborn Josephine in our arms. Kia's hair was matted to her head with sweat and my eyes were bagging down to my knees, but it was gorgeous. We were parents.

"You look so fine, girl." I teased as Nakia rolled her eyes and flipped to the next photograph. A catlike purr of content rumbled in her throat as she looked over the black and white photo.

"Do you remember this?" she asked softly as we stared at the frozen moment of time. It was a picture from our wedding day. We were dancing during the reception and the photographer caught us kissing in the middle of the floor. God, we're so in love.

"How could I forget it?" I countered, "Do you remember the song we were dancing to?" I raised a challenging brow toward her and she smirked.

" I will stay with you, through the ups and the downs, " Kia sung softly, " I will stay with you when no one else is around. . . " I listened carefully to the words she was singing and I smiled as the memory began to play in my mind, taking me right back to that very moment.

"Can I have this dance?" I whispered into her ear as I placed my chin on her shoulder. She giggled and turned to face me, her elegant gown flowing with her tiny spin.

"You most certainly can." I chuckled lightly as I pulled Nakia into my arms. She looked so beautiful. She was glowing and smiling like I've never seen before and I'm quite sure I looked the same way. It was our wedding day, for goodness sake. How could we not be happy? We found our soulmates.


We've been together for a while now
We're growing stronger every day now
It feels so good and there is no doubt
I will stay with you


I smiled and kissed Nakia's forehead tenderly as the song flowed through the room. The words reflected our relationship perfectly. It said how I felt for her so clearly and fit the theme of our vows. I loved this woman more than life itself. For years, I've dated and dated and dated. Got cheated on every time I thought they were the one, cried and moved on, praying things would be different the next time around. But now, my method of trial and error is unnecessary. Because I found her. The one for me.


As each morning brings the sunrise
And the flowers bloom in springtime
All my love you can rely
And I'll stay with you


"So," I whispered to her as I rested my hand on the small of her back, "How does it feel to be Mrs. Justin Timberlake?" Her hands caressed the back of my neck, twisted my curls aimlessly with her fingers.

"About as good as it feels to be Mr. Nakia Davis." We laughed lightly as I spun her around and brought her back against my chest.

"So you must feel grateful, blessed, joyful, lucky, delighted, ecstatic . . . "

"Complete." Nakia added as she stared intently into my eyes. I smiled softly and swayed back and forth with her in my arms.

"Complete." I repeated as I leaned and brushed my lips against hers.


Oh, I'll stay with you through the ups and the downs
Oh, I'll stay with you when no one else is around


That's when the camera went off and we were met by a collective 'aw'. Nakia and I laughed as we realized everyone had been staring at us with adoring eyes. She blushed and I kissed her temple.

"What?" I asked innocently, "Ya'll never seen two people in love before?" Everybody chuckled and Nakia slapped my chest playfully, her smile never leaving her lips.


And when the dark clouds arrive
I will stay by your side
I know we'll be alright


With me loving her as much as I do, you can image the devastation that ran over me when I can home to find an ambulance speeding out of my driveway, and JC holding a crying Josie in his arms.

"Oh my God, Justin. . ." he said as I noticed his tearing eyes, "I don't know what happened, but. . ." I tuned him out momentarily as my eyes searched my property for Nakia.

"Wait, man. Where's Kia?" JC swallowed as he looked down my driveway at the fleeting ambulance truck. Panic ran through my body.

"Josie called me and said she wasn't waking up," JC began to explain, "So, of course, I rush down here. Josie opens the door and I see Kia on the floor, knocked out cold. Josie told me she called 911. . ."

"What's wrong with her?" I interrupt as I search my pockets for my keys.

"I don't know," JC answered, "But they're taking her to Sinai." I finally found my missing keys. I turned to get back into my car.

"Can you stay with Josie?" I asked absentmindedly. JC nodded and I sped off without a second thought.


I will stay with you


When I got to the hospital, I was shot some looks of shock from some of the people. I was unaware of the fact that I was in a very public place without one of my bodyguards. That's usually a major no, no, but screw those damn rules.

"Nakia Davis?" I asked breathlessly as I stumbled my way over to the front desk.

"What was she in for?" the receptionist asked nonchalantly.

"I don't know," I answered, "She wouldn't wake up, so my daughter called 911. They were already leaving when I got there. I just want to know where she is so I can find out what's wrong with her. . ."

"Sir," the lady interrupted, "You're gonna have to give me a moment to check." A moment? Does she know what can happen in a moment?

"Okay, okay. . ." I took a deep breath before finding a chair across from her working station. I placed my head in my hands and said a silent prayer. Everything seemed to be sucking the life out of me as I sat there for all eternity. It was really three minutes, but with everything going on, time felt like it was standing still.

"Excuse me, Sir?" I stood and rushed over toward the nurse.

"Yeah?" I asked frantically, "Where is she? Is Kia alright?" The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile as she stood with me. I followed her like a lost puppy as she began to walk down a corridor.

"Nakia is in the radiology department." She said it like I was suppose to know what the hell she was talking about.

"Is she getting a x-ray or something?" I asked as we turned at a corner.

"A CAT scan," the nurse explained, "She had been complaining about a pain in her chest." I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"What kind of pain?" I asked.

"A sharp one." she answered bluntly as we reached a waiting area in the radiology department. I stood there as she walked over to the desk and spoke with someone behind the counter. A few seconds later, another nurse came out and offered me a handshake.

"Hello, sir. I'm Nancy." I politely shook her hand.

"Justin." She nodded and offered me a seat. We sat and she turned to face me.

"Well, Justin," she began, "Your wife told us she had been feeling this pain right below her chest." Nancy placed her hand on the area.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"That's what we're trying to figure out at the moment," she explained, "The good news is that it might be a muscle cramp."

"What's the bad news?" I wanted to hear it and get it over with.

"During examination, Dr. Schultz felt a lump around that area." I nodded and followed along, "Based on the size and location, it could be cancerous." I sucked in a breath and cleared my throat.

"What are the chances that it is cancerous?" Nancy adjusted the ring on her finger.

"Fifty, fifty normally. But that can increase or decrease depending on the conditions your wife was under."

"Conditions?" I questioned.

"Her health in general," Nancy explained, "Diets, exercises. . ."

"Kia's a health nut," I interrupted, "Minus the chocolate addiction. . ." Nancy smiled softly.

"What about stress levels, Justin?" I looked down guiltily and bit my bottom lip. Stress was my middle name.


Though relationships can get old
They had a tendency to grow cold
We have something like miracle
Yeah, I'll stay with you


"There's been a lot of stress going on lately," I said evasively, "How much does that effect her?"

"Stress makes the body weaken because of rising blood pressure and it causes different chemicals in the body to go out of whack temporarily." I nodded, my heart swelling with guilt.

"When can I see her?" Nancy looked down at her watch then back at me.

"I'll have to check with Dr. Schultz." She stood and adjusted her scrubs.

"Thank you, Nancy." I sat back into my chair.

"You're welcome, Justin," She smiled, "I'll be right back." I nodded and watched as she sashayed her way down the hall. I waited for a while before Nancy got back and lead me to the room Nakia was in. She looked tired and Dr. Schultz facial expression was telling me everything I needed to know.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Davis, but the lump was cancerous." Nakia nodded and managed to keep her head up.

"What can I do?" Nakia asked as I intertwined our fingers. Dr. Schultz sighed.

"Fight it," he answered, "Radiation therapy, diets and exercises, all the medication we have to offer. Whatever method you're comfortable with." She nodded and sniffled. I licked my lips and looked up at the doctor.

"Are you sure it'll work?" I asked as I wrapped my arm around Nakia's shoulder.

"There's a good chance. But, Mr. Timberlake, there's no guarantees." Dr. Schultz explained, "It seems that the cancer has moved from the pancreas and is working its way toward the liver. If it reaches it, this may become irreversible." I bit my lip, not wanting to cry in front of them.

"We're not gonna let it. Whatever it takes to stop it, we're doing." I said with a strong determination, "Money isn't a problem. Just make sure my wife survives this."


And there will be heartaches and pains, yes it will
But through it all, we will remain


From that day on, I stuck to my word. Every treatment, no matter how painful it was, Nakia went through it. I was right by her side, rooting her on. I payed for the medications, the radiation, the hospital room, and everything else that came in the form of a bill. I spent thousands. But it wasn't enough. In the end, that son-of-bitch won out. It spread down to her liver, but I still wanted to keep going. Nakia, on the other hand, had different plans.

"Justin, I want to stop with the treatments." Nakia sighed as I rolled her down the hall in her wheel chair.

"What?" I asked as I guided her into her hospital suite. She slowly made her way to her bed, her fragile body sliding up onto the mattress.

"This is a waste of time." she complained. I placed her chair in the corner of the room and stood there in disbelief.

"You're kidding, right?" I questioned, rhetorically, "Since when is saving your life a waste of time?"

"Since it's not working," she answered curtly, "It's spreading, Jay." Her voice cracked as her eyes watered.

"We can still stop it." I said softly as I knelt down in front of her. She shook her head.

"Justin, when was the last time we spent the day with Josie?" I thought for a moment and realized that it didn't happen for a while.

"Since we found out you had cancer. We spent the day explaining everything to her." I answered. Nakia nodded and smiled softly.

"You see?" she questioned, "I miss our daughter, Justin. And if I'm gonna die. . ."

"Who said anything about dying?" I interrupted, "You're not gonna die." Nakia shot me a sympathetic look.

"What do you think is gonna happen? This cancer isn't gonna disappear, Justin." I didn't want to hear it.

"For someone as holy as you, you sure lack a lot of faith." I whined as I stood.

"I do have faith, honey," Kia said, "It doesn't mean I'm naive." I silently cursed myself as I felt my hot tears rolling down my cool cheeks. How could she say that? How could she not believe that something miraculous would happen and save her?

"Aren't you the one who always says God always looks after us? Wants us happy?" She nodded.

"Well, yeah, but he also works in mysterious ways." Kia told me.

"So what are you trying to say? That this is a good thing? That this damn cancer and this death of yours is for the greater good?" I was completely pissed off in the mist of my confusion.

"Maybe. . ." Kia sighed, "Maybe we were just a temporary thing, ya know? Maybe I was supposed to get to a certain level before someone else took over." I couldn't believe my ears.

"Are you crazy?" I snapped, "If we were supposed to be temporary, you would've left me when I cheated."

"Justin. . ."

"Kia," I interrupted, "I love you. I know that you and I are supposed to be together for the rest of our lives. . ."

"Exactly," Kia said suddenly, "'Til death do us part, Justin." Alright, she must still be drugged up from her medication because she was talking nonsense.

"You're still here, Kia!" I animatedly gestured my hands about the room, "Stop acting like you're already gone!"

"Will you stop it, Justin!?!" Nakia shouted, surprising the hell out of me, "Stop denying everything. Okay? I have cancer. I'm not going through with these treatments anymore, and I'm going to die, whether you like it or not." I stood quietly for a moment, soaking in her words.

"How could you just. . .accept this?" I asked innocently. She shrugged and wiped her tears away.

"How could I not?" she shot back, "This happening whether I accept it or deny it. Pretending like everything will be okay won't take this cancer away."

"I just can't imagine life without you," I confessed, "I can barely get through the day without you." I sat on the floor by her feet and looked up at her.

"I don't want to go, Justin." Nakia sighed, "I mean, I knew I was going to die one day, ya know? We all are. But I didn't think it would happen so soon. Especially like this."

"Then keep fighting." I plead.

"There's no point. I can feel myself slipping away." That line scared the shit out of me. She felt herself slipping away.

"Nakia please," I begged, "Let's try this for. . . a month. Just to see what happens."

"Somebody else needs those treatments more than I do." Kia said softly. I was almost tempted to roll my eyes at her selflessness. If there was ever a time to be selfish, this would be it.

"Stop worrying about everybody else. Do this for yourself." Nakia laughed suddenly, catching me off guard.

"If I was doing any of this for myself, Justin, I wouldn't have gone for treatment in the first place." I shot her a confused glance.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think this is so hard to deal with?" she questioned, "Because of me?" I didn't even know what to say to that.

"Well, I just assumed you wanted to live." I stated bitterly.

"I do, Justin. But the main reasons for that are my family and my friends." She sighed, "You guys are the reason why I get up in the morning. I live for ya'll."

"Then keep fighting this."

"Justin, I don't need to." Kia explained, "You have it, baby. You're gonna be fine." Was she kidding me?

"What?" I asked, "I can't even find my socks in the morning. How am I suppose to find my way for the rest of my life?"

"All your friends and family are there for you. . ."

"What about Josephine? What about her?" I whined, "She needs her mother." Nakia quieted down momentarily as she thought it over.

"Oh, Josie. . ." She breathed, "She's just four, Justin. She'll probably forget all of this."

"She won't forget you. What do you want me to tell her? That you just gave up?"

"I didn't give up, I'm being realistic." Kia argued, "I do want to be here. I want to live the rest of my life. Josie is going to grow up without me, and that hurts. It sucks to know that I'm not gonna be there for her graduations. That I won't be able to help her get ready for prom or give her advice about guys or make up or any of that stuff. I didn't choose this. I didn't choose to go bald because of these treatments. I didn't choose to struggle to walk two feet without losing my breath. I don't want this cancer and I sure as heck didn't choose to leave you and Josie behind."

"Okay." I said softly, "I'm sorry." I stood and embraced Nakia, allowing her to sob into my chest. I could feel my shirt becoming damp with her tears and I held her even tighter. That's when I started soaking things in. Searing everything into my memory so that I'd never forget.


And in the end I know that we'll find
Love so beautiful and divine


"Thank you." Nakia said softly as she kissed my lips softly. I kissed her back, tasting the saltiness of her tears, feeling the warmth of her soft mouth and loving every moment of it.


Everything will be fine
And I will stay with you
Through the end of time
I will stay with you