If he strains his ears he can hear the slight rustlings and low vibrations of laughter that left him know that he is not alone in the house. But at this moment he is confined from joining them by his own personal punishment. His fingers tug at the soft material and attempt once more to form a decent knot.
“Damn,” Justin mutters as the knot once again doesn’t catch and the tie is left looking more like a scarf dangling from his neck. His teeth clench as his head drops. The last time he tied a tie was months ago when Kate dragged him to some premiere of a movie that he still can’t remember the name of. More recently certain things have seemed more important than being seen or looking good while doing so.
Slowly he raises his head once more determined to defeat the tie. He squints at his reflection as his fingers grasp the ends once more. He begins to mentally repeat the sequence his grandfather taught him so m any years ago.
“Across, under, over and pull. Shit that’s not it. Under, over, across and pull. God damnit,” he mutters to his own reflection. Absentmindedly his fists grasp for his head missing the hair that should be there to release a little frustration.
He would have given up a long time ago and called it a night in if it was just up to him, but it wasn’t. His dog walker/psychologist/yoga instructor had insisted on setting him up. She said something about his ‘chi’ being out of line since Kate. Sadly he had been in such a hurry to stop discussing his ‘chi’ that he agreed. Even worse she had remembered and now he was stuck battling with a fucking tie.
Growling as he pulls the tie from around his neck he lowers himself to the thought of trying to get some help. The dog walker was wrong. The last thing he needs in his life is a woman. Look where the last one got him. Not that Jonah was part of that insinuation, rather it left him in a mess of anxiety and stress.
It’s not until he reaches the bottom of the stairs that he notices the rain. The small trails of water making all the glass surfaces look like a dream sequence from a bad sitcom. He strains his ears trying to place the only other two people in the house and smiles when a high pitched squeal leads him to the back porch.
He slides the door open slowly and leans against the frame watching Mae and Jonah. She’s settled on the very edge of the porch, keeping their bodies from the moisture, but her legs stretch out into the storm. Every so often she holds out one of Jonah’s feet and when the drops hit his skin he giggles in a fit of wonderment.
All at once he doesn’t want to leave and not because a blind date sounds hellish, which it always does, but because he would rather be apart of this moment and whatever else will go on tonight. He knows it won’t be much more than an unintentional food fight that’s called dinner and a bath, but it doesn’t matter.
The only lingering strife between him and Mae is jealousy. Even though his work is nonexistent and he’s home most of the day, he can’t help but want to do nothing but be with Jonah. And the fact that Mae is, well it irritates him on his shitty days.
A crash of thunder vibrates the windows and turns Jonah’s giggles into cries. Mae immediately clutches him to her chest and moves away from the storm eager to get him inside. Her frantic pace slows when she sees Justin. He reaches out to her and she gives in to his wordless request transferring Jonah to his arms.
The baby immediately curls into his father’s chest, his small wet feet making his crisp white shirt transparent.
“It’s just thunder bubba,” he soothes him. Mae walks past and gently takes his arm guiding the pair inside. Justin keeps a firm arm around Jonah as he follows Mae through the house. Her toes catch on the ratty hem of her jeans and she almost eats it, but catches herself the last moment chuckling at her own clumsiness.
He doesn’t understand her fascination with torn up jeans and old t shirts, but sometimes envies the comfort she seems to have with her at all times. Like she carries it with her vicariously through her well worn clothing.
Suddenly his dress pants and button up seem confining and he fights the urge to go dig his sweats out of his hamper. The fact that he even has a hamper goes against everything he dreamt about his bachelorhood when he was a kid.
“Love, Reign o'er me. Rain on me, rain on me. Only love can bring the rain that makes you yearn to the sky. Only love can bring the rain that falls like tears from all high,” her voice is quiet and Justin wonders if she only makes it squeak and wail to irritate Trace.
He turns towards the living room and her voice fades as she enters the kitchen. The couch gives under his weight and Jonah leans back to stare at his father’s face now that he is convinces that all danger is gone. His tiny hands roam Justin’s face digging into his eye sockets and entering his slightly open mouth. Justin allows the exploration creating larger than life facial expressions just to coax a smile from his son.
A hiss leaves the kitchen letting Justin know that Mae has decided to make tea. The high pitched whistle brings him an odd sense of calm. His eyes slide closed as he pulls Jonah close to him and for a brief moment he lets himself that maybe this is all happening under much different circumstances.
That Kate wasn’t the mother and that maybe the girl in the next room is. The one who is utter devoted to his son and whose quirkiness adds up to just enough to make her endearing. And in this version of life there was no tabloid drama, hell maybe no fame at all. Just a small family with no particular appeal to anyone but themselves.
“Are you too manly for tea?” Mae’s voice breaks into his haze. He shakes off the unrealistic thoughts and lets Jonah squirm to the floor.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just insinuate that being manly means not liking tea,” he answers. Mae doesn’t respond and Justin glares back down at the piece of silk hanging from his neck silently cursing its existence.
“You all excited for your hot date?” Mae asks as she sets a hot cup in Justin’s hands. He hisses as the ceramic burns his finger tips. Mae opts for the floor rather than the couch as usual.
“Excited is not the word I would use. And let’s all pray to God that she’s at least something worth looking at or this is going to be a very long night,” he answers. Mae clicks her tongue at his before raising the cup to her lips. She laughs a little as Jonah rolls backwards in an attempt to climb her.
“I don’t want to burst your bubble, but there are actually worse things than your date being hard on the eyes. Like, I don’t know, they happen to be holding a void in the space that should house their brain,” she suggests. Justin chews over the thought. Sadly a few people come to mind instantly.
“Could we maybe not talk about all the ways this could suck?” he asks. Mae shrugs and scrunches her nose at Jonah. Watching them he is drawn to thoughts of Kate. The mother of his child who is currently thousands of miles away and thinking that a phone call a week suffices for contact with her son.
Justin rolls his neck to avoid diving to deep into negativity.
“So you going to tie that tie or were you planning on attempting to start a new fad tonight?” Justin rolls his eyes and shrugs.
“The damn thing won’t tie.” Mae lifts Jonah from the ground and sets him in his playpen before crossing the room to kneel in front of Justin. Her forehead furrows as she takes each end in hand.
“Do you even know how to do this?” Justin asks. Mae rolls her eyes but doesn’t take her hands from around his neck. She leans in a little further to push the knot towards his neck. Her finger tips graze the skin over his Adams’s apple and he can’t help but swallow hard.
She pulls away unaffected and assesses her work. Satisfied she pulls away.
“I do not claim to be a knot expert, but I think it will work,” she states. Justin runs his fingers over the tie and nods, grateful for the moment of, whatever the hell that was, to be over.
“You should add that to your resume, ‘can tie tie under pressure.” Mae laughs and moves back over to Jonah.
“But then the demand for my services would become too great and where the hell would that leave you?” she quips. Justin laughs grateful for the pass of tension. The glances at the clock on the wall and groans. Despite his attempts to make time stop so this moment didn’t come, he has to leave.
He lifts himself from the couch and begins to try to straighten his clothes before deciding that he really doesn’t give a shit.
“Sex bomb sex bomb you’re a sex bomb.” The ridiculous quality in her voice is back and Justin fights not to smile.
“Shut the hell up. Just cause I have plans with someone who can actually answer me,” he jabs.
“Eh. Overrated. Besides. Whose to say I don’t?”
“You have some torrid plans you want to share?” he presses.
“Like I’d ever give you the pleasure,” she replies.
“I’m hoping to high heaven that this doesn’t take longer than two hours so don’t be doing anything you wouldn’t want me to walk in on,” he warns.
“Whatever. Just leave.”
Justin wanders through the front portion of his house gathering his keys and wallet. He hesitates one last time before leaving, thinking it’s his last chance to bail. Mae’s voice from the living room doesn’t help push him out the door.
His car roars to life as his garage slowly opens. As he eases his car backwards he sees a familiar form in the driveway. As he eases by he rolls down his window and obnoxiously gawks at his friend.
“I know that’s what I said, but tonight isn’t going to work. Sure. I said that would work. No I’m not mad. I’ll take you to that Italian place you like. Ok. Fine. Bye babe,” Trace sighs.
Justin’s mind reels with the possibilities. Trace has always liked to keep his options open. It’s not abnormal for him to bring over three or four different girls in a week. But never one’s that Justin already knew.
He had thought, or maybe over thought that maybe something was up between Trace and Mae. All the playful biting comments and even what Mae just said inside.
“Where you off to?” Trace asks leaning inside the car. Justin licks his lips slowly. He doesn’t like the position this could put him in.
“Going out with that girl Traci set me up with,” he answers. Trace nods.
“Well have a good time. I’ll make sure Mae doesn’t burn the place down.” Trace slaps the side of the car for good measure as Justin continues to reverse. Once the house is out of sight he runs his tongue over the back of his teeth and tries to blame all worry on the fact that this life has become slow and he has created drama where there is none. Or at least he hopes so.
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