“Someone fix her hair. I can’t possibly shoot this scene without being able to see her eyes. Kathy, Missy, anyone?”
Kate stands helplessly in the center of the set waiting for someone to come and expertly brush her bangs out of her eyes. She learned quickly after the first week that her simply pushing them aside would not suffice for this director. You would think that if she could remember to not touch her hair he could at least try to remember her name. No such luck.
Kate shoots an apologetic look towards her costar who is making a big production of kicking the dust of his shoes to demonstrate his frustration with Kate’s uncooperative hair. Missy scurries over and uses a special brush to place Kate’s bangs before hitting her with a stream of hairspray that would paralyze a large bug.
“Thank you! Now we can get back to work. Everyone on mark and let’s try this again,” the director yells. Kate struggles to catch a breath of air not coated with chemicals and tries to mentally prepare herself for a self realization speech from her ‘brother’. At least his frustration melts off when he goes into character.
By the time the director is satisfied its been three hours of the same 20 minutes of dialogue that will most likely be cut down to 5 during editing, but that’s the beauty of movies. Everyone on set scurries to get everything put away from the day’s shooting and ready for the next. Kate sinks into a chair to the side of the chaos and simply rests.
There was never any illusion that movie making was fun or light or easy, but a full feature film with an actual budget is a far cry from anything she’s been in before. Her most accomplished role including screaming girl #3 in one of Wes Craven’s long list of horror movies. Everything on set is so frantic and every minute detail is scrutinized, like the placement of her bangs.
Her male co-star slouches by and Kate offers him a smile, but he looks towards the ground, his cell phone pressed harshly against his ear. She had hoped that she would be able to at least connect with someone on set. Another actor, but she’s not picky, even one of the food service girls would have worked at this point. She’s horribly lonely and everyone else seems to have a life at home that can’t go on without them.
Her life at home consists of a housekeeper that calls once a month to make sure she gets paid, parents who act surprised every time she calls and reminds them she’s filming out of the country and Justin and Jonah. The later not really being able to converse or express his feelings so she is forced to rely on Justin. Their calls haven’t been hostile, but he’s very direct about informing her of the news with Jonah and then allowing the baby to press the phone against his ear.
A little small talk wouldn’t kill him, she craves a little concern and attention, but isn’t finding it with Justin. It’s a highlight when Trace answers and actually wants to talk to her.
Lights begin to shut off and Kate reluctantly stands from the chair and begins to make her way towards the charter bus that will be taking everyone back to the hotel. She boards the bus and shuffles to her requisite spot towards the back.
She flips open her phone and scrolls down to the one name she feels she could call before snapping the phone back shut. It may seem loud on the bus, but she knows too many ears are trained for anything they could sell the tabloids for a few extra bucks.
She slides down in her seat and flips the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. The bus rumbles to life and she’s glad for the immediate departure. Sometimes they wait over an hour. The lights begin to whiz by and she focuses on the coastline.
At least she’s making a movie. Grated it is with a director who seems to forget he cast her and a cast who hasn’t accepted her into their folds, but it’s a fantastic movie and she can’t help but acknowledge that she is living out her dream. Even if it’s slightly different that she imagined it.
Her fantasies included some incredibly handsome male lead and a dramatic love story, but she is taking what she is given.
She doesn’t even realize that they had arrived till people are bumping her seat on their way out. Slowly she gathers her things and files off the bus offering a smile to the old man that drives them every day. He says something in Spanish and she nods a response hoping that suffices.
Somehow the lobby is empty when she enters, clear of any sign that anyone else rode with her on the bus. She takes her time making her way to the elevator enjoying the sound her shoes make on the marble floors.
As she waits for the elevator she leans against the wall and lets her eyes slide shut for a moment. A month. That’s how long she has called this hotel home. There is talk of getting a small break before the final three weeks of shooting, but that’s still at least three weeks away. Even then she’s not sure if she would actually go home.
She wants to see Jonah, but apart from that would rather rest than fly. Maybe she could convince Justin to bring him down here…
The elevator tings alerting her of its arrival and she shuffles on. The ride is smooth and quiet and when the doors open revealing her hallway she can hardly muster the energy to make it the final 100 yards.
When she finally makes it to her door she slides the electronic key in the slot. Her heavy sigh echoes in the empty hallway when the light flashes red rather than green. Her eyes squeeze shut and she leans heavily on the door before trying again, this time pulling the card painstakingly slowly from the slot. The green light flashes and she pushes her way into the room.
The dark room is musky from the outside humidity and she immediately reaches over to switch on the air. Without thinking her eyes wander to the phone and she gets a small rush when she sees the blinking red light. Her belongings are dropped to the floor as she heads for the phone grasping it in two hands as she cues up the messages.
Her face falls as she hears an automatic recording informing her that her call time has been moved forward an hour in the morning. She keeps the phone steadily gripped in her hand, her fingers hovering over the keys. Before she can give it too much thought she pushes the familiar combination of numbers and waits for the ring.
“Timberlake residence,” a cheery voices answers. Before Kate can even reply a ruckus arises in the back ground.
“Shut up Justin. Yes I answered that shitty way. No I don’t know who it is, let me ask. UGH. Sorry,” Kate swallows hard as she places the voice. She thought that Mae had been fired. Justin had insinuated as much and hadn’t told her any differently. She wants to be happy that she got her job back and that Jonah has someone she is comfortable with watching him, but something is irking her. She thought Justin hated Mae.
“It’s ok. Mae?” Kate asks really just to confirm her knowledge. More mumbling takes over and Kate contemplates just hanging up.
“Get AWAY from me,” Mae hisses softy to someone on her end of the phone.
“I am SO sorry. As I was saying, Timberlake residence,” Mae tried again with a slight chuckle to her tone. Kate can almost picture the house and the scene the mumbling she is hearing paints puts her off a little.
“It’s Kate Mae,” Kate repeats herself.
“Hey! How are you? How is the shoot going?” Mae asks. Kate smiles a little at Mae’s enthusiasm and is able to push the irk to the side.
“It’s been good. Long hours and hot as all get up, but really good.” Kate almost feels bad for lying, but she doesn’t want to go into any more detail.
“I can’t tell you how jealous I am I’ve wanted to go to Mexico since, well since that Beach Boys song all about beaches,” Mae replies. Kate chuckles because she knows she should. She can hear Justin talking and occasionally Jonah’s gurgling.
“You’ll have to make it down here sometime. Is Justin around?”
“Yeah, let me grab him,” Mae complies. Kate listens as Mae tries to cover the phone with her hand but fails for the most part.
“Justin get in here. No not because I told you because the phone is for you. Yes. No I’m not going to tell them to call you back. It’s Kate. Stop being an ass. Here.” The pieces Kate hears is almost enough for her to hang up again, but she sucks it up and waits.
“Hello.” His voice sounds different over the phone line, younger, less polished. It could just be the distance.
“Hey. I was just calling to check in.” Kate tries to hide any spite or anger in her voice, it’ll just make him hang up.
“Ok. Yeah. Well um, I don’t know if I have a lot to report. I mean I told you last week that Jonah has been trying to stand up and we’ve almost got him completely on solids….” Justin trails off. The word ‘we’ stands out in bold letters.
“We?” Kate urges. She can’t help herself.
“Yeah. I don’t know if I told you but Mae’s been helping me out a lot,” Justin offers. Kate nods her head as she lets out a heavy sigh.
“Like out of the goodness of her heart? Or did you hire her back?” she pushes. It’s bad enough that she’s missing out on Jonah, but to know another woman is there, seemingly taking her place. It has to be work.
“Well I pay her and all, but it has to be charity work dealing with me,” Justin chuckles, She can hear Mae’s voice ague, but can’t make out the words. Even at their best she and Justin were never like that. It was always so serious, so passionate, but never fun.
“I’m glad you’ve got help makes me feel better being down here and all,” Kate says.
“Yeah. So, how are things down there?” Justin asks. Kate swallows hard at the question. It’s the first time he’s asked and it actually sounded like he wanted to know.
“It’s good. Hard, but I think it’s turning out well,” she answers.
“Well after everything you went through to go down there I hope it fucking blows up,” he adds. The tears sting Kate’s eyes before she even realizes they’re there.
“I hope so too, but I don’t want to keep you. Can I get Jonah on the phone for a minute?”
“Yeah, lemme grab him. Come here bubba.”
Kate can hear the baby’s soft breathing and then the sound of the phone being overcome by his mouth. The tears streak down her cheeks and she wraps her free arm around her body.
“Hey J-bear. It’s mommy. You remember me right? I heard that you’re getting bigger. I thought I told you to stop that until I got home.”
Her soft pleading are met with the sounds of drool and babbles. She takes a shaky breath and tries to picture him, but the image she conjures seems old and worn out.
“Well I love you baby and I’ll talk to you soon.” She hangs up before Justin can get back on the line and hear her tears. The bed makes no noise as she falls back onto it. Her hand fumbles for the remote eager to have anything cover up the obvious silence. The loud Spanish dialogue does the trick perfectly and she throws an arm over her wet eyes.
This is what it’s all about. Making sacrifices to make your dreams come true. It’s supposed to be hard and then be worth it, but at that moment all she wants is for it to all be over. She wants to be the one laughing on the other end of the phone and she can’t deal with the fact that they’ve found a stand in.
Her breathing finally slows and she props herself up against the pillows. There’s nothing can be done from thousands of miles away.
Author's Chapter Notes:
i am hating internet more than ever, but here's the next piece. thanks so much for all the reviews!!
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