A small sigh escapes her lips as her sunglasses slide down the brim of her small nose once again. Pouting her lips exaggeratedly she moves her nose in a motion that to most would seem unattractive and useless, but as someone who has worn glasses most of her life she smiles as it brings the object back to rest in its rightful place. Once the ordeal is over she lets out a contended sigh and rolls her cracked window down even further. She’ll never understand why people use air conditioning when the real deal is so much more refreshing.
The highway twists and bends and she’s grateful for once to be traveling at an odd hour so that the car maintains steady movement rather than rests impatiently in traffic. As her destination comes closer she reaches over to her oversized bag in the passenger seat and moves her hand through it without diverting her eyes. A satisfied grin settles over her features when she pulls a tattered notebook page from the bag. The paper is settled against the steering wheel and she offers it fleeting quick glances as she continues to drive.
“Exit 234, exit 234,” she chants to herself under her breath hoping the repetition will force her to not miss the exit. Yet another smile as the chosen numbers appear in the right order and she eases her car over. The direction become more complex and as she passes a small local fruit stand she’s tempted to pull over and screw it all. But curiosity is her enemy at the moment. It’s the reason she didn’t immediately get up and leave when Professor Bearden first said the name Kate Nickels, it’s the reason she agreed to meet with her and it’s the reason she reluctantly passes the fruit stand.
She doesn’t believe in grudges or regrets, but high school is hell for most people who are to succeed later in life and for Mae Roberts it proved no exception. Not that she was a recluse or a invalid, but she never felt the need to probe into the inner workings of those who were considered ‘popular’ and they for the most part left her alone. But there’s always that one person who sticks with you long after you throw your tasseled cap into the air and for Mae it was Kate.
She was iconic even then. Mae was intrigued by her ability to command attention, something she had never been able to do. They were causal acquaintances, sharing a few elective classes and even fewer common friends. But, the small connection had kept Mae current on her fledgling career and most recently the birth or her baby, the supposed heir to the pop throne. The world was abuzz with talk of the baby and almost daily another magazine claimed to have the first photos. Mae didn’t know much about al the fuss, but her roommate Beth was more than happy to keep her current. And for that reason Beth didn’t know where Mae was today.
Slowly the endless cement gives way to tree shaded streets and homes. Mae crouches in the seat to get a good look at the rare thing that tall trees were in LA. She slows the car as the numbers approach the ones written on her paper. A few children run around in a yard and Mae can’t help but smile. There’s always been something overly appealing about children to her. The simpleness of their thought process and the undiscriminating way their handed out their love.
It was an easy choice when entering college to major in child psychology. She had babysat for extra money as long as she could remember, Insistent on pitching in to the exuberant tuition her parents struggled to pay to keep her in private school. After her bachelors she had taken a year off to be an au pair in Europe and then straight to her masters program to study child cognitive theory. And now, now she was wondering why she had agreed to this meeting.
Despite the bills piling up on her rickety kitchen table there weren’t a lot of good reasons for her being there. If she was to get her masters in a year like she planned she didn’t have time to be a nanny, but she was feeling like a cat about to be killed.
She turns slightly toward the uphill driveway and shakes her head at the few strangling photographers gathered at the base of the gate. They snap a few useless pictures of her as she reaches out and buzzes the gate.
“Yes?” She’s surprised that she still recognizes Kate’s voice.
“Um, I’m Mae Roberts, I’m here for…” Before she can finish the sentence the gate begins to slowly swing open. She worried for a moment that the small crowd is going to follow her, but apparently they know better. The car makes the trip too quickly for her liking and it seems that she is instantly parked and waiting to go inside.
She licks at her lips and places her sunglasses in the seat next to her. Taking a cleansing breath she thinks she learned from a yoga class in one of her more healthy phases she pushes her door open and forces herself to the entrance of the house. Her mouth falls into a natural smile as she talks herself out of any kind of panic. The doorbell echoes through the house and radiates to where she waits. She tugs a little at her grey tank top and wonders if she shouldn’t have dressed up.
The door swings open and Mae forces herself to hold the smile. When Kate’s face finally appears, Mae can’t help but notice that she looks much older than their 25 years. A small smirk like smile eases over her features as she takes Mae in.
“Thanks so much for coming,” Kate says formally. Mae nods and waits for Kate to motion her in. As Mae enters the house she takes a silent inventory, noticing mainly the pictures and personal items. She smiles when she sees a grouping of empty baby bottles on the coffee table.
Kate gestures for her to take a seat and Mae tries to think of something anything to say that will ease the obvious tension between the two. She twists her earring in her ear as nothing comes to mind. The urge to break out in song is suppressed for the moment, but a small grin covers her face at the thought.
“So I’m not really sure what is supposed to go on here,” Kate admits. Mae watches she rings her hands and looks nervously at a baby monitor on a side table. All at once previous notions and memories of Kate seem to flee from Mae’s mind and all she wants to do is help. She reaches inside of her bag and pulls out a make shift résumé she printed five minutes before rushing out her door.
“I brought a list of references and a brief job history, it’s kind of customary,” Mae offers. Kate takes the papers and glances over them not really knowing what to look for.
“Honestly, I was just hoping you would come over and just agree to do this,” Kate admits glancing up from the papers. Mae does her best to hide the shock. Part of the reason she had convinced herself to do this was because she was sure that she was just one of many options Kate had, one of many faces and resumes she would see.
“How many others have to interviewed?” Mae asks. Kate smiles tensely and chuckles almost regretfully.
“Would it be awful if I said you’re the only one?” she questions.
“I just assumed with your…situation and all that you’d be interviewing a lot of people,” Mae states. Kate releases a slow sigh and picks at the loose threads in her couch. Mae tries to keep her distress to herself. This was supposed to be a curiosity fix, nothing more. But just the look on Kate’s face the slump in her shoulders makes Mae feel like its going to end up being so much more.
“I know I should be trying to maintain a professional face in front of you, but I’m kind of past that at this point. I need help. I don’t know how else to say it and the idea of sitting through hundreds of interviews somehow more awkward than this one makes m e feel like throwing up. For some reason, I feel like I know you. I mean I know we knew each other in school, but more than that I’m hoping that I can trust you. And I like that you probably see me as the girl you went to school with rather than well whatever the hell is it I am,” Kate sighs. A slight chuckle escapes Mae and Kate looks at her expectantly. Mae nods her head slightly and is grateful when a wail from the monitor prevents her from answering right away.
“I guess this as a good a time as any for you to meet Jonah,” Kate relents as she stands. She doesn’t ask Mae to follow or even motion the likes, but Mae follows anyway feeling pulled along by Kate’s movements. As they wind around and up a set of stairs Mae tries to think of the best way to tell Kate no. Her mind starts mentally gathering list of other people she could recommend.
Kate pushes open a cracked door and wordlessly approaches a small crib lifting the baby from his bed. The wailing dies down, but he continues to express his discomfort through grunts and tiny cries. Mae freezes in the doorway reluctant to move any closer.
“He’s not very patient with me,” Kate muses as she moves towards Mae. When they are close enough Mae peers over the blanket to get a better look at the baby. She’s shocked when his bright blue eyes seize her own. And in that moment she knows she’s hooked.
“How old is he?” Mae asks quietly.
“Three months last week,” Kate answers. Mae nods while trying in vain to tear her eyes from him. This is why she shouldn’t have come. There is no arguing that kids are her weakness, along with a catchy love song. Before Mae can protest Kate has passed the bundle into her arms and she’s left fighting a losing battle.
“He’s really beautiful Kate,” Mae whispers. She can’t help the sappy tone or the lump in her throat. Babies just do that to her.
“When’s he’s quiet he is. Just wait until he starts screaming. Then you’ll know who his father is,” Kate muses bitterly. Mae notices the tone but decides against pushing it any further.
“It’s not as easy as they make it look on TV?” Mae asks with a smile. Kate shakes her head and falls back into the plush rocking chair. Mae knows that watching children is a far cry from being a parent, but she still feels for Kate. The emotion causes her to open her mouth and say something she desperately didn’t want to.
“How often would you need me?” Kate’s eyes light up and Mae inwardly sighs thinking about her thesis mostly unfinished and her TA job she will have to abandon.
“Just a couple of days a week and a few nights. Really just enough so I can try to get a little piece of my life back,” Kate answers. Jonah begins to work up to a wail, but Mae repositions him against her chest and draws circles on his back. Kate’s mouth drops as he quiet back down.
“And you would want me to stay here those nights?” Mae clarifies. Kate nods and swallows.
“There’s a room downstairs with its own bathroom you can stay in.” Mae takes a deep breath and allows a smile form on her lips.
“Are you sure you don’t want to interview other people?” Mae checks. Kate shakes her head.
“God please no. I do not want a parade of stranger in and out of my house ogling my son,” Kate breathes.
“I mean I can’t promise any thing long term, but I think I could make it work for now,” Mae states. Kate smiles and then leans forward burying her face in her hands. Mae worries for a moment that she might be crying. When she straightens she smiles again at Mae.
“Thank God,” she states. Mae smiles in return and follows after Kate as she begins to show her around the house. When she pushes open the door to the room where Mae will sleep, Mae can’t help but notice the male scent lingering in the room. And as they walk down a hallway a solitary picture of Kate and the father stands out. Mae had forgotten about him. She wonders for a moment why he wasn’t there. The thought is pushed from her mind quickly as Kate continues the tour and begins talk of her starting next week.
A lump forms in Mae’s throat that she quickly swallows. For some reason se feels like she just signed her life away.
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