Justin winces as the sun blares into his eyes. Last night wasn’t exactly responsible and now he is paying for it. It doesn’t help that Trace is sitting next to him all chipper and shit whistling to the radio. This goes on for a few more seconds before Justin could swear that ever off key note coming from Trace’s protruding lips is being burned into his brain. He reaches over and switches the radio off, his brain relaxing in the silence.
“What the fuck man? That was my jam!’ Trace protests. Justin doesn’t bother answering instead focuses on moving as little as possible hoping to not further agitate his headache. He hasn’t seen Jonah since he dropped him off four days ago and he’s baffled by the fact that it has been weighing on him since he pulled out of the drive. It wasn’t even really about Jonah really. If it was up to him his son would be toted everywhere he was, always within reach. This was about sending a message to Kate. About how he feels about her ‘nanny’.
Luckily for him, or maybe her. Justin hasn’t seen the nanny to this point. He’s managed to avoid all contact by demanding that Kate be ready with Jonah when he arrives and take him when he drops off. The system hasn’t failed him yet. But in a way he can’t help but think that it’s failed his son. Already Justin finds himself doing things he promised himself he never would. There’s a tiny nagging in the back of the brain that picks at him at all times. Convinces him that every moment he’s not with Jonah he’s missing something that an important milestone is passing without him there.
The radio blares back to life and although its not the same song, that doesn’t stop Trace from attempted to keep the tune. Justin reaches out to remedy the situation, only to have his hand slapped.
“Seriously Trace? You know I’ve got the headache of the fucking century and you can’t just let it be?” he asks. The whistling dies down and Trace pushes his glasses up on his head. The red eyes would make you think that he was suffering from the same ailment as Justin, but for some unknown reason Trace is immune to the hangover.
“Now you want to talk? Fifteen minutes of pity silence and now you have something to say?” Trace gaffs. Justin rolls his eyes even though Trace can’t get the full benefit from behind his glasses. The man is too damn cheery for his own good sometimes. Justin decides at that moment to cross three lanes of traffic simultaneously and offers a preferred finger to the horns that blare their protest.
“If you didn’t notice I was hoping for a little hangover mercy, but apparently you’re in a nut busting mood so who I am I to argue,” Justin mumbles. Trace chuckles at the comment and that little noise echoes inside Justin’s head. He takes a sharp turn and the bag of toys in the backseat slide to the side activating one of the more obnoxious musical ones. Jonah wasn’t even six months and already Justin was resorting to trying to buy his forgiveness. Not that a baby could forgive or even hold a grudge for that matter, but it makes Justin feel better and at that moment it works.
“Does Kate know we’re coming over?’ Trace questions. Justin sucks on the inside of his cheek.
“I don’t have to clear it with anyone before seeing my son,” he replies curtly. Trace holds up his hands in surrender.
“Hey I was just trying to make conversation. Damn. Sore spot?” he retorts. Justin could say a lot about the subject, but it would really be guilt talking and he doesn’t really want to give it a voice at the moment. Especially not to Trace, who happens to have on of the biggest mouths known to man. The truth is that Justin still isn’t sure of his boundaries when it comes to Jonah. He wants to be able to come and go at his leisure, take his son when it’s good for him, but he knows that there is no way in hell that Kate would be that flexible with him. More now than ever that she has her ‘help’. Sometimes he feels like he needs to make an appointment to see his own son.
“Sorry man. It’s just things are a little tense with Kate right now so as much as I want to see the midget, I’m not really looking forward to dealing with the mother,” Justin admits. Trace’s head bobs as if he has any clue of what Justin is going through. Justin knows it’s more to avoid further detail than anything.
“Things with Kate not getting any better?” he asks. Justin’s a little shocked by the question. Trace doesn’t usually like to get into the nitty gritty unless it involves vivid detail of a sexual encounter or nudity of some kind.
“Understatement of the year. I can’t do anything right by her. I’m there too often or too little. I don’t call enough or I’m fucking stalking her. I have no clue what she wants from me,” Justin rambles. Another neutral nod from Trace. The silence that takes over makes it clear that Trace’s momentary interest has now waned. After the small amount of compassion from Trace Justin feels a surge of thanks and turn the volume on the radio back up. A smile covers trace’s face as he resumes reminding Justin of why he makes the money in music and not Trace.
“How is the little rug rat anyways?” Trace asks a commercial comes on. Justin takes his eyes off the road long enough to glare at Trace through is dark lenses.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call my kid anything involving a rodent?” Justin demands. Trace chuckles slightly and then yelp when Justin’s fist connects quickly with his arm. He rubs the sore spot out of embarrassment more than pain.
“Damn. Sorry. I will no longer call Jonah anything resembling a mouse,” Trace states. For the first time that morning a smile crosses Justin’s face. He’s glad for the lifting mood. He doesn’t want to go into the house with a dark cloud hanging over his head, it’ll just set Kate off even more.
“He’s so fucking big Trace. I mean, shit, every time I see him he’s learned something new. Like the other day I swear to God he smiled at me and when I told Kate she just brushed it off saying that he’s done it before,” Justin says. Trace skips the nod and emits a sigh. Justin knows its hard for him to relate to his best friend now. For the first time he’s taken a step that Trace couldn’t really take with him. The odd part is that Justin always thought that Trace would take this step first. He was ready for marriage first, even took a knee.
“I haven’t seen him since his best trick was pulling an exorcist,” Trace muses. Justin chuckles at Trace’s reference to Jonah’s colic. He stopped counting the ruined shirts at around 20. Now he only wears the Fruit of the Loom t shirts around him. Which are surprisingly comfortable.
“He’s still doing that,” Justin replies. Trace takes a quick look down at his shirt and utters a soft ‘damn’. Justin feels his stomach knot a little as they pull up to Kate’s. He punches in the code and thanks God for his tinted windows as the vultures swarm his windows. They know his car by now. Trace chuckles and takes pleasure in giving them the double bird. Strangely Justin takes a little joy out it too, even though he resigned to keep his fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. He pulls into the drive and shuts the car off staring at the door.
“So are we going to go in or just sit here like fucking lawn gnomes?” Trace asks. Trace’s pushes his door open and makes his way to the door. Justin fumbles with the handle and hurries to catch up. By the time he makes it to the door Trace has already buzzed the doorbell.
“You’re acting like you haven’t been here a hundred times before. What the hell is wrong with you?” Trace demands. Justin shuffles his feet a little. He hasn’t told any one in his circle about the nanny yet. For some reason he views it as failure on his part, a demonstration of not being able to take care of his son. He can hear the footsteps nearing and he begins to prepare himself for the barb that Kate no doubt has prepared for him.
“Who the hell are you?” Trace’s words filter through his brain before he actually notices that someone other than Kate is standing at the door. Someone who is strangely unphased by Trace’s question. Her blonde hair is pulled messily from her face and a easy grin covers her face. She reaches down and wipes her hands on her ratty jeans before offering it to them.
“I’m Mae,” she states.
“Trace.” Trace takes the hand and looks to Justin for explanation. When she turns to Justin he looks at her hand for a moment before simply pushing by her and into the house.
“Nice to meet you too,” she mutters. Justin thinks about turning around and putting her in her place, but he’s got other things on his mind. He leaves Trace in the entry with the new girl and bounds up the stairs. He bursts through Kate’s door without knocking and is rendered speechless when he finds her sitting on her bed, shirt open feeding Jonah and watching Oprah.
“Jesus Justin. Knock much?” she asks as she lays Jonah down on the bed in front of her and fumbles frantically with the buttons on her blouse. When she finishes she glares at him once more for good measure. Justin ignores her burning eyes and crosses the room to pick up his son. It may be all in his mind, but he swears the baby is a little heavier than the last time he picked him up. His blood lowers from a boil to a simmer as he pulls Jonah to his chest.
“Hey bubba. Daddy’s here,” He whispers. The baby squirms a little in his sleep, but doesn’t wake up. He can hear Kate move from the bed to the bathroom, but is content in the moment to sink in a chair and just hold his son.
“You going to tell me why you came busting in here like a cop on a drug raid?” Kate demands when she reenters the room. Justin glances up at her and notices that she looks a little better than the last time he saw her. A little less haggard. Not that he is enough of a dumb ass to say that out loud.
“Who the hell answered your door?” Justin fires back. Jonah whimpers a little at the noise and Justin makes a mental note to lower his voice. He can send the same message with his eyes.
“That would be Mae,” she answers. Of course she doesn’t do Justin the favor of staying in one place while he talks to her. She moves around the room picking up discarded clothing and placing it on other less appropriate places.
“Yeah, caught that part already. I want to hear you say it Kate,” Justin presses. Kate blows some loose hair out of her eyes and scans the room for anything that else that could put of the conversation.
“Mae is Jonah’s nanny Justin. Is that what you wanted to hear? She’s the person who now spends more time with your son than you do,” Kate states. Justin grits his teeth and hopes that the small effort will block his tongue from lashing out like he wants it to.
“You had to get that in there didn’t you? Just couldn’t let it go with out rubbing it in?” he sighs. Kate finally meets his gaze and instead of seeing defiance in her eyes he sees defeat.
“Why are you doing this Katie? Why are you trying so damn hard to push me away?” he asks. Her shoulders shudder and he knows she’s fighting emotion. He stand and moves towards her wrapping his free arm around her the other arm still securing Jonah to his body. For a brief moment they are the picture of the family they both want to be, but know they can’t.
“This is so much harder than I thought it would be,” Kate admits. Justin just nods and pulls her a little closer.
“It’s a baby no one really knows how hard it is until it happens,” Justin replies. Kate huffs and wiggles out of his grasp. And just like that the moment is over.
“No one knows more than me how hard a baby is Justin,” she says. He moves away and glances around the room for Jonah’s things.
“Trace is downstairs. He wanted to see you. And I’m taking Jonah for the night,” Justin informs her not giving her time to argue. He leaves the room and moves into Jonah’s rooming gathering what he will need. As he heads down the stairs he’s surprised to hear a high feminine laugh coming from the living room. When he enters the room all voices stop and a pair of wide green eyes meet his. She’s smiles hesitantly, but he doesn’t reciprocate.
“If you wanna see Kate you’re going to have to go upstairs, but be quick about it. I want to get the hell out of here,” Justin states. Trace sighs heavily and pushes himself up from the couch.
“Do you want some help?” Justin turns his head quickly to look at the girl who has now moved in front of him and is gripping Jonah’s car seat. He’s tempted to tell her no, but she slides the diaper bag from his shoulder and makes her way out the front door without waiting for an answer. Justin follows slowly, taking the time to place his sunglasses over his eyes before reentering the sunlight.
Mae waits in the sun a small smile on her face. He hits the unlock button and she takes it upon herself to open the back door and push the bag of toys aside.
“You should look into the Baby Einstein stuff for Jonah. It’s a fantastic introduction to music,” she offers. Justin simply looks at her as she smiles back at him. She moves aside so he can place Jonah in the seat.
The door slams and Trace jogs towards them.
“You couldn’t wait for me?” he asks. Justin shrugs his response.
“We’ll have to start that up again the next time I see you,” Trace suggests. Justin glances up to see Mae nodding.
“If you are sure you want to. You weren’t exactly holding your own earlier,” she says. Trace laughs and Justin pulls back the sound. He shuts the door next to Jonah harder than necessary and Mae jumps. She coughs slightly and backs away from the car.
“It was nice meeting you,” she offers. Trace smiles and repeats the formality, but Justin simply slides into the car. He wait until Trace shuts his door before pulling into reverse.
“What the hell? Did you have to be a complete ass to the girl?” Trace demands. Justin grips and releases the steering wheel a few times. Trace doesn’t know the back story the history.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Justin replies. Jonah grunts from the back seat and Trace turns in his seat to get a better look.
“Whatever beef you have with Kate don’t take it out on Mae,” he says. Justin can hear him reaching into the toy back and ripping something from its packaging. Once satisfied with his efforts, Trace turns back around.
“Mae? What are you friends with her now?” Justin asks. Trace chuckles and turns the radio on low.
“Justin lay off the girl. She’s mellow J,” Trace informs him. Justin thinks about making this a bigger deal than it is, but decides to put it to rest. The last thing he needs is to get all wound up with Jonah in the car. He’s forcing himself to drive the speed limit as it is. Besides, she’s just the nanny.
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
