“I am telling you. Angelina pre-kid was like a scarier version of Marilyn Manson,” Trace states. Justin chuckles to himself as he glances over his shoulder before switching lanes. Trace’s newest soap box is that all celebrities are freaks at heart. Justin tries to exclude himself from the category as Trace continues to add examples.
The kid is in an abnormally good mood today and that alone would usually be enough to put Justin on edge, but then add the fact that he offered to come along to pick up Jonah and Justin is downright suspicious.
“Marilyn Manson? Calm the fuck down. I admit that she has gotten less intense, but she was never that scary,” Justin concedes. Trace raises an eye brow and shakes his head.
“Whatever dude. You know I’m right,” he replies. Justin waits for him to offer another example, but instead Trace leans against the passenger door and watches the light posts pass. Although Justin would never turn down a chance to hang with Trace, he’s grateful for the transition to silence. This way the inevitable thought process that begins when going to Kate’s can finish processing before they get to the driveway and thus allows him to go in the house without waiting in the car for his thoughts to slow down.
Usually when things hit a shitty high point a short period of almost happiness follows for Justin and Kate, but since the magazine things have been tense at best. Not that he has really tried to make it any better. At this point he feels like any discomfort that she might feel is a just punishment for what she did.
When he tells himself this he knows it sounds childish, but hell he’s allowed to act like an ass sometimes, especially when it comes to his son. He’s finally getting used to the way it sounds. His son. Being a father hasn’t been the easiest thing he’s done, but it tops the list as far as rewarding. The only good thing that came from the magazine is that Justin has spent more time with Jonah.
Pride rushes through him and his cheeks tint a little with the rush. He might have been the first person to see Jonah scoot. A stupid word, scoot, but when you become a parent you’re allowed to use words like that and not give a shit how it sounds.
Almost seven months old. It’s passed faster than Justin thought it could, but he’s started to feel the itch. Started to wake up at three in the morning with a melody in his mind and pause mid stroke on the course to jot down an idea for a possible chorus line. He’s curious to see what if any changes Jonah has had on his music. He’d like to think that a new sound might morph out of this huge life change, but he doesn’t want to get too excited.
He owes Kate another five months. That was one thing they agreed on. Neither one of them would work for the first year. At least not on anything that took them away from LA for more than a couple of days. Justin doesn’t regret agreeing to that. He owes Jonah that much, a year of his undivided attention. And it would be a lie if he said he wasn’t working. He’s gone into the studio a couple of times with different artists, but its different when you work on your own stuff. A different vibe, a better sense of self. So even if its not quite time to think about it he can’t stop the melodies from coming.
He blinks a couple of times at the gate in front of him. It’s always unsettling when you don’t remember actually getting to place, even more disturbing when you can’t blame that on a good buzz.
“You gonna open the goddamned gate or wait for it to read your mind?” Trace urges. Justin reaches up and hits the opener.
“Is there a reason you’re all up my ass about the gate? Or why you suddenly want to tag along to pick up Jonah?” Justin tests. Trace freezes for a moment and Justin feels the grin spread across this face. He’s hit a nerve. A rare thing with Trace and something he will not leave alone.
“Well unlike you I don’t want to spend the afternoon staring at Kate’s gate no matter how purdy it is and why the fuck are you all over me about coming? One minute you can’t get off me about not coming and the next you all over me about coming. Make up you mind my friend,” Trace answers.
“I hassled you about coming because you need to spend more time with Jonah and now I’m just wondering what the appeal is,” Justin presses. Trace chuckles under his breath and finger snaps Justin in his upper arm. Justin winces at the contact, but acknowledges that he’s not getting anywhere.
“Quit with your analysis and lets go in and see your kid,” Trace says as he opens his door. Justin watches his retreating form for a moment before following. He takes in the front of Kate’s house as he approaches. He used to love how modern it looked, but now he’s on the verge of despising the sharp lines and lack of Southern appeal. But he’s not in any kind of place to tell her she should move, so he’s forced to deal with it.
Trace leaves the door open behind him and when Justin passes through it he can already hear Mae’s laughter. At least he’s gotten beyond his pure hatred of the girl. The small amount of time he’s been civil to her he can honestly say that she’s harmless, quirky even.
“Lonely, I’m m….” The rest of Mae’s words are muffled by Trace’s hand over her mouth. Justin pauses in the doorway to the kitchen and watches his best friend manhandle the nanny.
“Holy shit!” Trace yelps as he pulls his hand rapidly away from Mae’s mouth. She grins and pulls Jonah from his high chair. The small boy is covered with some kind of goo, probably banana baby food. Justin smiles when Jonah squeals at the sensation of being lifted into the air.
“You bit me you maniac,” Trace states. Mae Stares back him the same silly grin plastered on her face. Justin can’t help but smile himself.
“You say that like you didn’t know I was going to do that,” Mae replies as she cocks her head to one side. She turns her attention briefly to Justin as he enters to room. Her smiles loses its mischief and takes in an air of uncertainty, but it remains stuck on her face.
She willing hands over the sticky baby and Justin makes his way to the sink, careful not to turn the blast up far enough to miss the conversation behind him.
“You and you’re fucking theme song. I was just trying to shut you the hell up,” Trace argues. Justin can’t see him, but he knows his friend well enough to know his hands are clenched at his sides and his face has probably turned two shades of red. He laughs at the menial picture, which causes Jonah to laugh in turn.
“Tsk tsk Trace. In front of the baby? What are you going to do when the kid yells ‘shit’ as his first word?” she teases. Justin snorts when his attempt to hold back his laughter fails. He turns his head a little to see Trace and Mae staring at him.
“As long as it can be blamed on Trace I won’t complain,” he adds. Mae smiles and she turns back to Trace, her hands balanced on either hip. Justin can hear Trace mumble something before making all together too much noise as he sits down at the table.
Justin rubs the warn rag over Jonah’s face and then lets him suck on the end for a bit. He senses Mae’s presence behind him before she makes herself known.
“I probably shouldn’t let him do that,” Justin says as he pulls the rag from Jonah’s mouth. Mae laughs and gives it back to the baby.
“A little water and baby food never hurt anyone,” she replies. Justin smiles cautiously over at her. Her eyes aren’t even on him. She rubs her hand affectionately over the baby’s head a few times.
“Kate is at a meeting or something, but should be home pretty soon,” she offers. Justin nods, but before he can attempt to continue to be civil, she walks away smacking Trace upside the head as she leaves the room. He watches as Trace glares after her as long as he can see her and then his face transitions into something different, almost like fondness? Justin shakes the thought from his mind.
“Are we going to hang around and wait for Kate or are we just going to grab the kid and go?” Trace asks. Justin settles Jonah into the crook of his arm before turning to face Trace.
“I feel like we should wait. I’m sick of all this grab and go shit. I should at least try to be fucking civil.”
“I heard that!” Mae’s voice carries into the room. It’s not until Justin sees the smile on Trace’s face that he knows he’s got one to match. What the hell is wrong with him?
The slow rumble of the garage break Justin from his confusion and he focuses on the door the garage he knows will open at any second. Kate pushes open the door, more worried about the papers in her hands than the people in her kitchen. She tosses her keys towards the counter, but misses.
“Nice shot Kate,” Trace says. Kate jumps when his voice hits her. The papers in her hands go all over the floor and she lets a low ‘shit’ slip. Justin nods towards Trace before handing him Jonah. At least their silent communication is still working.
He bends down and starts gathering the papers together. As he pulls a stack together he takes a minute to read the piece on the top of the pile. It doesn’t take much for him to realize what he’s looking at.
“Todd’s already having you look at projects for next year?” he asks. Kate purses her lips and drops the rest of the papers unceremoniously on the counter. Justin watches as she takes a ragged breath and runs her hands through her hair. If he weren’t so damned worried about what she was going to say he would have followed Mae’s laughter out of the room.
“I was going to call you about this Jus. I really was,” she begins. Justin lets his papers cover the ones she already laid down. The shit is about to hit the fan. He can feel it or rather smell it.
“Tell me about what Kate? Jesus! Why is it every damn time I come over here you drop something else on me?” he demands. She shrinks for a moment into a corner of the counter before gathering herself back up. Justin crosses his arms over his chest and waits. One of the few admirable qualities he posses, patience.
“They want me for the next Jonathan Dayton project?” Kate asks. Justin can see the excitement in her features waiting to be let out if he lets it. He grinds his teeth back and forth conscious that the action gets on Kate’s nerves. In a lot of ways he wants to be excited. Wants to share in this moment with her, but he can’t. She isn’t free to do whatever the hell she wants anymore.
“I’m guessing its you. When does filming start?” he asks evenly. Kate plays with the long sleeves of her shirt while sneaking glances at him. Her insecurity shining through.
“Well that’s the thing. They already have most of the cast signed up so if I want to do this I have to be ready to leave in two weeks,” Kate eases. Justin feels his whole body go tense. She would do this.
“Well that’s shitty then. I mean you can’t work for anther five months. Maybe he’ll want you for the next one,” Justin offers.
He can see her face fall, but she’s not the only one putting their career on hold. Does she even know how many times he’s turned down opportunities to work with fucking amazing people? Two weeks ago he told Chris Martin no. He still hasn’t gotten over that sting, but he will and she will after she says no.
“This is Jonathan Dayton Justin! The guy who hit gold with Little Miss Sunshine. Who knows if there will be a next time?” she argues. Justin presses his lips together and nods.
“Don’t pull that card with me Kate. We said a year. And I’ve stuck to that and I expect you to too,” he states. His arms tighten over his chest and for a moment he feels like the only adult in the room.
“You have to be kidding me. I’ve waited my whole life for this opportunity and you expect me to brush it aside like its nothing?” Justin takes a deep breath. She really doesn’t even think about him. Ever.
“No, it’s a great offer and you would be stupid not to want to take it, but you can’t,” he says.
“You would say that. You would stand there and tell me to watch my one chance walk away like it was nothing,” she seethes.
“If you think this is you ‘one chance’ you obviously don’t have much faith in yourself. If you want it and you work hard another one will come along,” he argues. She closes her eyes slowly and put her palm to her forehead. Justin watches the display with an odd sense of calm. Like he’s watching the whole thing rather than taking part.
“Not every one is like you. We don’t all find gold wherever we drop our shovels. Some people only get ONE shot Justin. This is mine.” He glances back at the papers on the counter and sees pieces of signatures.
“So what you wanted to tell me was that you are taking the project. Not that you got offered?” Justin clarifies. The previous calm has left.
“What choice did I really have?” Justin feels his body go into overdrive, for the first time in his life he has the overwhelming desire to shake the shit out of a woman.
“I don’t even know why I even try. I mean you are so beyond me its fucking unbelievable. So you’re just going to drag Jonah to wherever the hell it is you’re filming?” he asks. She swallows hard and glances over at the empty high chair.
“That’s the thing. Um, filming is in Mexico and I really don’t want to take him to a foreign country and a film set is a horrible place for a baby anyways…” she trails off. Justin’s mouth drops as he makes the mental connection.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me. You’re leaving him?” he gawks. Kate rings her hands in her shirt and leans her weight on each foot in turn.
“You’re here and I wouldn’t want to take him from you, besides you know how onset can be, it would be hell for him.” Justin stares at the floor so long and so hard he wonders why it doesn’t leave a mark.
“If you do this. If you leave. That’s it for us Kate,” he threatens. She teeters a little with the words, but then steadies herself.
“It’s been over for a long time Justin, I was just waiting for you to admit that.” He steps back shocked at the ease at which she took his words.
“And I’m going to fire the nanny. Do it my way,” he adds. For a moment she looks like she might argue, but then she simply nods.
“You should be able to do it however you want,” she agrees. The room spins slightly with Justin’s head. She’s really going to do this.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this Kate. Like I knew things between us were fucked up, but I never thought you would do something like this,” he breathes.
“Maybe you didn’t know me at all,” she replies.
“Can we get the hell out of here before Mae fucking starts singing again?” Trace demands. He stops in his tracks when he feels the tension in the room. He looks between Justin and Kate slowly and begins to back out. Justin makes no move to stop him.
“We’re finished here Trace. You all can go,” Kate announces. She bushes by Justin and leaves the room. Trace takes over her space on the floor and cowers a little to meet Justin’s gaze.
“What the hell just happened here?” he asks. Justin shakes his head and he rubs his hands over his eyes.
“I wish I fucking knew.”
“Do you want to leave?” Trace eases.
“Go get Mae and tell he to get as much of Jonah’s shit as you can into my car,” Justin orders. Trace’s straightens and nods. He knows not to mess with that tone of voice. Justin doesn’t move after he leaves. And this is what it all comes to…
Author's Chapter Notes:
another one! thanks to all of you who reviewed! keep them coming :)
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