Silence. That was all that could be heard as four fifths of *NSYNC sat in a waiting room of a nearby hospital as they anxiously awaited news on their band mate. Time seemed to creep by. The only indication they had that time was indeed moving was the steady ticking of the second hand on the clock above the nurse’s desk.

Chris sighed as he slouched down even further into the uncomfortable hospital chair. He, along with the rest of the guys, was in shock that this had happened, especially to JC. JC was the responsible one who took care of the other guys and still managed to make time to care for himself.

Chris partially blamed himself for not doing something sooner. He knew that JC had been looking terrible from lack of sleep and yet he had done nothing. He just let JC’s behavior continue and now look what had happened. The rock of the group was in the hospital suffering from exhaustion. Chris thought back to the moment they’d realized that JC wasn’t going to be getting up.

“What are we going to do?” Justin asked his voice filled with worry. 

“We need to get him help. Joey, grab his feet and I’ll get his arms. We’ll take him backstage until help can arrive,” Chris said. 

“I’ll go call for help.” Lance ran off the stage. 

The arena was pitch black with the exception of the small flicker of light that came from the skit that was playing on the jumbo screen to introduce the audience to the next song. It was this little bit of light that allowed Chris and Joey to see where JC was so they didn’t step on him. They bent down, lifted JC’s body into the air, and carried him off the stage.

“C’mon, Justin,” Joey hissed when he saw Justin still standing in the same spot. 

That seemed to snap Justin out of his state. He ran ahead of Joey and Chris to make sure the path was clear so they wouldn’t run into anything while carrying JC. 

Finally after a few minutes the three of them ran into Lance in the hall backstage. “C’mon, we’ll put him in the toy room. The ambulance should be here in a few minutes.” 

They followed Lance into the toy room, and Chris and Joey gently placed JC’s limp body on the couch. Chris frowned as looked down at JC. He was a little surprised that JC hadn’t moved at all while he and Joey had carried him. When Lance had collapsed back when they first started he had unconsciously moved. If it wasn’t for JC’s shallow breathing Chris could’ve mistaken him for dead. 

Chris shivered at that thought. “Just hang on, buddy. We’re getting you help.” 

True to Lance’s word a few minutes later they could hear sirens and people, who they could only assume were paramedics, yelling to see where they were needed. 

Joey got up and ran out into the hall. “In here!” he yelled as he spotted the paramedics. They rushed into the room after Joey. 

All they could do was watch as the two paramedics placed JC on a stretcher and stabilized him. Justin winced as he watched one of the paramedics insert an IV into JC’s arm. He knew that JC would’ve been freaking out had he been awake to see it. 

They followed the paramedics out to the ambulance. “Who’s going to ride with him?” Lance asked. 

“I’ll go,” Justin volunteered. He jumped into the ambulance. Lance, Joey, and Chris jumped into an awaiting van for them to follow the ambulance. The red and white lights lit up the surrounding area and the piercing howl of the siren filled the air as the ambulance sped off down the road. 

A half hour had passed since they had arrived at the hospital. Chris shifted impatiently in his chair. He thought that a half hour was too long considering he didn’t need surgery or anything. That made his mind skip to the thought that maybe JC’s condition was worse than he thought and he did need surgery.

Chris shook his head to clear his thoughts. He decided to strike up a conversation to help take his mind off of it. “Hey, Joey.”

“Yeah?” Joey looked up from the spot he was staring at the floor.

“How did your phone call go with Kelly?”

Joey sighed. “She was pissed, of course. I can’t blame her.”

“Did she forgive you?” Lance asked. He too was looking for a distraction. He had been counting the holes in the ceiling tiles.

Joey half smiled. “It’s one of the many things I love about her. She made me promise to stay away from clubs, at least for a while, and I plan on sticking to that.”

Chris was about to say something else when he heard someone walk up to them. “Are you all here for Joshua Chasez?”

The four of them stood up and faced the doctor. “Yes, we are,” Lance said.

“I’m Doctor Peterson. I checked over your friend and stabilized him.”

“How is he?” Joey asked.

“He’s doing as well as can be expected. We have him connected to an IV that is supplying his body with the nutrients he’s been deprived. Has something happened recently that would cause him to neglect eating and sleeping properly?” Doctor Peterson asked.

They exchanged looks with each other wondering how much to tell the doctor. “About a month ago,” Chris paused before continuing, “We had something sort of traumatic happen.”

“I see. Has he seen anyone to talk about what happened?”

Chris shook his head. “We’ve been finishing up our tour. It’s been kind of hectic.”

“Well, I really recommend that he see a psychiatrist. It’s obvious from his condition that he isn’t handling what happened very well and needs some help,” Doctor Peterson said.

“Would it be all right if we helped him through it? He’s a very private person. I doubt he’d open up to any psychiatrist that we’d set him up with,” Lance said.

“If you believe that’s the best thing for him,” Doctor Peterson replied. “Just as long as the problem is addressed so this sort of thing doesn’t happen again.”

“It won’t,” Chris agreed.

“Can we see him now?” Justin asked. The other three turned to face Justin. They had almost forgotten that he was there because he hadn’t said anything until just now. Chris rationalized that Justin was so quiet because he and JC were so close, and he probably blamed himself for not doing something more to help JC.

“Of course. He’s in room 318. He was asleep when I left him, but if he isn’t awake when you go in he should be within the next few hours. I’ll be around so page me if he needs something or any of you have any questions. I’ll be in to check on him after I make my rounds,” Doctor Peterson said.

Doctor Peterson made a left down the hall while Justin led the rest of the guys down the hall to the right. Justin slowly entered room 318. He walked over to JC’s bedside and sat down in a chair next to it. Justin looked down at JC and thought that he had never seen him look so horrible.

JC’s face was pale white with the exception of his eyes, which had large, black circles under them. The IV was sticking out of his right arm. Justin couldn’t help, but flashback to how Lance looked after he collapsed. As of right now Justin would say it is a toss up as to who looked worse.

Chris walked over to Justin and placed a hand on his shoulder. Justin looked up at Chris and that look confirmed his suspicions that Justin placed at least some blame on the state JC was in. He knew that he and Justin would have to talk later. The last thing they needed was another problem to fix.

“Guys, I think he’s waking up,” Joey said. Chris and Justin drew their attention back to JC. His eyelids were flickering. After a few seconds JC wearily opened his eyes.

“Hey there, Sleepyhead. You are in so much trouble for giving us a heart attack like that,” Chris joked and JC cracked a small, sleepy smile.

“How are you feeling?” Lance asked.

“Tired,” JC mumbled.

“Well, get some sleep. We’ll be here,” Justin said.

JC turned to look at Justin. “Don’t blame yourself.” JC glanced at each of the guys. “None of you.”

“How the hell does he do that?” Joey asked no one in particular.

“You wish…you had talent…like this,” JC replied sleepily. His eyes started to droop.

“Go ahead and rest. Your body needs it,” Lance said. They stayed and watched JC fall into a relaxed sleep.

“I’m surprised he didn’t freak what with having a needle in him and all,” Chris said.

“I don’t think he was aware of where he was otherwise he would have,” Joey replied.

Lance and Joey noticed how down Justin looked and caught Chris’ eyes. He motioned for them to leave so he could talk to Justin.

“You want to get some coffee, Joey?” Lance asked.

“Sure, why not? I’m sure you’re feeling caffeine deprived by now,” Joey joked.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Do you guys want anything?”

Chris looked over at Justin and saw him shake his head. “No, we’re good.”

“OK, we’ll see you two later.” Joey and Lance left the room and gently shut the door behind them.

Chris and Justin sat in silence as Chris tried to gather his thoughts. After a few minutes Justin spoke up, “Let me save you the trouble. I know it’s not my fault that this happened and I shouldn’t be feeling guilty. Does that cover what you were going to say?”

“Most of it, yeah,” Chris admitted. “However, if you’re going to place blame on anyone you should place it on me.”

“You? What did you do?” Justin asked as he turned away from JC’s bed to face Chris.

“Nothing, just like you. I know that you blame yourself for not doing anything about JC’s problem once it was confirmed that he had one. I know because I’m doing the same thing. You felt like you could’ve done more.”

“I could have! I could’ve forced JC to talk about his nightmares, or at least watch him more closely to make sure he was taking care of himself,” Justin said.

“It wouldn’t have worked,” Chris said knowingly.

“How do you know?” Justin asked.

“Because JC would’ve never let you watch him while he ate or force him to talk about his nightmares. I know that, and you know that.”

Justin let what Chris said sink in and sighed in defeat. “You’re right, but I feel like I could’ve done more. It just seems wrong that JC’s so focused on taking care of us, and we don’t return the favor.”

“That’s just how JC is. It’s in his nature, but now is our chance to return the favor. We’ll help him get through this and fix his problems.”

“What if he doesn’t let us?” Justin asked.

“He doesn’t have a choice. Besides, if he tries to refuse me and you can take him,” Chris said and Justin laughed.

“You’re right. Thanks, Chris. I feel better now.”

“No problem. I said what I did for me just as much for you.” Chris laughed. Just then Joey and Lance came back carrying two extra coffees in their hands. They handed one to Justin and Chris and kept one for themselves.

“Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!” Chris said.

“I’m regretting giving that to you,” Lance said to Chris.

“Aw, c’mon, Lance. This is my reward for giving Justin ‘the talk.’”

Joey looked at Justin in mock surprise. “I thought you already knew about sex.”

Justin was saved from answering and striking up an old joke when they heard JC’s bed sheets rustle. After a few seconds of moving JC’s eyes flew open and shot up to a sitting position.

Justin rushed forward to push JC back down. “Take it easy. You’ve had a rough night.”

“I’m in a hospital!”

“We know, JC. You put yourself here. Don’t touch that,” Chris said as he saw JC move to rip the IV out of his arm.

JC sighed in defeat as he crossed his arms. “But I have a needle in my arm!”

“That needle is replenishing your body with nutrients that you’ve deprived it of for the past month,” Lance explained.

JC sat up and made a move to protest, but was stopped by Joey. “You know you aren’t going to win this one, so you might as well give up.”

JC sighed and lay back down only to fly back to a sitting position. “The concert!”

“What about it?”

“What happened? We were halfway through the concert,” JC said.

“You passed out and were taken to the hospital,” Chris said and caught JC’s glare. “Oh, you mean what happened after you passed out. Well, Johnny came out on stage and made an announcement that you had become suddenly ill backstage and that the show would be partially refunded.”

“I can’t believe you guys did that.”

“You passed out, JC! What did you want us to do? Throw a party?!” Justin exclaimed.

JC looked over at Justin. “Sorry.”

“What happened, JC? What was so bad that you couldn’t come to us and had to make yourself sick over?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” JC diverted his eyes from Justin.

Justin sighed in frustration and looked over at Chris. Chris stepped forward. “We know you don’t want to talk about it, but look where you are. You put yourself in a hospital, JC, a hospital.”

JC sighed as he realized Chris was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. Joey saw JC’s hesitation and spoke up, “You don’t need to tell us everything. Not right now anyway, but you need to at least tell us what the cause of this is.”

JC thought for a minute and weighed his possibilities. He knew that he couldn’t hold it in forever and that they had a right to know, but on the other hand he didn’t want to bring up what happened a month ago when they were over it.

“Does it have to do with your nightmares?” Justin asked even though he knew the answer to it. He figured it would be a good way to get the conversation started.

“Yeah,” JC admitted after a few seconds of silence.

“Do these nightmares have anything to do with what happened?” Chris asked.

JC paused even longer this time. “Yes.”

“What happens in them?” Justin pressed. He knew that if he pushed JC too much JC wouldn’t talk, but he was glad they were moving in the right direction.

JC shook his head. Lance knew that JC was done talking for now. It wasn’t much, but at least they were finally getting somewhere. “It’s OK, JC. You don’t have to say anything else for now. Just get some sleep. I’m sure you’re still feeling pretty weak.”

“I’m sorry,” JC apologized.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We’re used to you sleeping,” Chris joked even though he knew JC wasn’t apologizing about sleeping.

JC just nodded as he lay back against his bed and let his breathing even out. It didn’t take long before he was fast asleep.