I can't believe I'm here now, with satan dressed in failed pop star's skin. With the manwhore. What the hell was I thinking? How did I go from potential scrotum crushing to buddies in the blink of an eye? Shit, if I only took my car and pushed aside my laziness I wouldn't have had to admit to that I was having a good time.

That's right. He doesn't have to know. I mean, he had a car, I was starting to get so cold that I gave myself away on the stop. Good god. I really hate feeling this way. It makes me so confused. Normally if I like something, I would say it. But I suppose JC Chasez made me a little afraid. I know who he is, and how much I still despise of his lifestyle, but hell, why was he was suddenly "warming" up to me? I've asked twice now and the second time he brushed it off like he was on his period.

Something was going on. His type never even looked in my direction without a gaze of disgust. And get this, we were actually talking. I'll stop now so you can listen in...

"So what don't you go by Josh instead of those gay initials?" I asked, playing with my crust.

He downed the rest of his beer and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I don't think they're so bad. Only my family calls me Josh. Actually just my mom. I don't know, since childhood I was
always known by this name."

"That's weird, I mean, if I were you, and I'm not, thank god, I'd consider Josh. It suits you better. You're fruity enough to pass for it."

He placed a hand on his chest, "Why thank you. Have I told you how good you are with the compliments?"

"No actually, you haven't. But seriously, you wanna be known by those initials your whole life? Didn't that show end a long time ago? You wanna be called JC until you die?"

He ate the last bit of pizza and looked at me. "I don't know, people already know me by this name, why change a good thing? Who knows what's gonna happen? I like to live in the now."

"Yeah, I do too." I chewed the rest of my slice and slumped backward on the chair.

I hated agreeing with him.

After a second, "But I'll consider the option."

We sat in silence for a few moments. It looked like he was too fascinated with his plate. Maybe he saw Jesus or something in the pizza sauce. I bent my head to get a better look at his
face.

He looked like he wanted to say something.

I waved my hand in front of his eyes, "Hey?"

"Yeah?" He continued to stare down.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, what?"

"You just looked like you aren't all there. Did you wanna be alone?"

I had no idea what hell was going on. He looked like my crazy uncle, in between getting up and and slumping down watching a Kojack rerun.

"I think I better go. I have some stuff to do at the -- did you want more?"

Something very weird is going on. "No, I'm good. Its," I looked at the clock behind him, "jeez, its like 5 passed 10. Yeah, I think its time to go."

I really wanted to get out of there. I had a strange feeling the longer I stayed something messed up was going to happen.

We threw away our trash and walked toward his car. He remained eerily silent the entire time. I really wanted to scream in his ear now. Would he even hear it? He really looked out of it. He started the car before I got inside. Ok, now I really have to say something.

"What are you-hello, what are you doing? Its passed 10 and I'm not busing it." I banged on the window as it started to move.

He killed the engine and I caught up to him at the exit. I was so scared. I really didn't know why he was acting this way.

He put the car in break and heard the doors unlock. I slowly looked up at him, observing. Maybe I should run to the bus stop. That idea was feeling better. I backed away from the car  slowly, I didn't want to make any sudden movements yet. His eyes were staring straight ahead. Ok, maybe he might hurt me. Shit, I knew this was a huge mistake. I should have never got into his car. I don't even know where I am. Are there any buses here? Shit.

I need to get out of here. My breathing sped up, way too fast for me to handle. I was shaking but I had to go. I turned and bolted passed the parking lot. I had to keep running until I saw an open stop. I didn't know where the hell I was going, I just ran. I've never seen anyone act that way before. I didn't want to find out what else was going to happen.

My fists were pumping and my heart beat was racing. I was barely looking in front of me I just knew I had to run... far. OK, Crescant Heights? This looks so familiar. Alright, streetlight coming up. What does it say? Foggy, shit can't see.

Virginia Ave, ok great. Now I'm not completely lost. I need to get to 17th and there should be a stop. Yes! I know there is.

Be careful. Its not safe around here. I slowed down a little so I can find a place to hide and maybe think. I clutched my purse with shaky hands and backed into an alley.

I can't even think. This is not good. I started to sweat and heave each breath. I tried to breathe normally but it wasn't working. My back was glued to the white brick wall while I worked on composing myself. I should just go. Just get it over with so I can go home and sleep and FORGET about this night.

I have never felt so terrified as I do right now. My jaw was tense, actually, my face was tightening.

Oh shit I hear footsteps... I gulped and turned to peek around the corner. I think their were three of them. Standing in a circle. Drugs? It definitely wasn't safe.

I peeled myself from the wall and backed up. I thought I heard a car too. Shit, someone is following me. I just know it.

"Amelia?..." I heard a whisper, somewhere behind me.

Oh god. Please, this can't be it. I never got to write a bucket list.

More footsteps. I closed my eyes tight. This never works. I open them and I'm still here. I couldn't say anything back; that would draw attention to the druggies.

I turned around, so slowly. My body was like honey as I moved to look. I saw nothing. Nothing but dark and more dark.

I swallowed hard. The sharp pain hit me so hard I almost fainted. Almost. I turned around to hide again. Maybe if I hid long enough they'd go away. I was getting cold now.

"Amelia, come here, come on...." There it goes again.

I turned around saw him hiding in the corner. HE was hiding? What the hell?

I came out of hiding and got a better look. This time I saw him better. He followed me.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, unsure.

He came out a little more, I could see his eyes shining in the dim lights clearly.

"You need to get inside ok? Please trust me." Was he kidding?

All signs pointed to no. But I wanted to know as I came close, "What happened to you?"

He shook his head, motioning for me to follow, "Please come here. Its not safe in this area. I'll tell you everything in the car."

I was shivering, that was my cue. I've had enough already. I said nothing and charged forward.