Amelia's POV
I guess I should feel shitty. Lock my life up. Close myself off to the world. Instead I did the opposite. I dove into my work like a racecar driver hitting the final seconds. I didn't want to feel sorry for myself because I was the "other woman" in the situation. I knew things weren't going so great. Usually when they begin too, it’s a blind sign. You know, what was I going to do? Wait around until he submits?
I wasn't even mad at Brian. How did I feel about it? Does it matter what I think? I guess if things were different, I don't know, he would have asked me to go with him. Yeah right. A family man. Mourning wouldn't get me anywhere. Getting mad would be a big waste. Why pine for somebody who's letting you off easy? It’s just... unfair. When I see other people, how they their lives, I just cringe. Why is it such a pattern? I feel like I'm being punished for trying to be happy. I also feel like its luck, that and timing. People have to want to care. You can't control how that goes. Just wish I didn't get the short end of the stick.
The power of persuasion is a thing of beauty if it exists. Instead of asking myself why this and that I feel like my time should be put to better use by moving on.
I decided to go to Barns & Noble just to clear my head. I came here almost every day when I was a teenager, mainly because I didn't have any friends and I didn't feel like putting the effort. Books were my outlets. I had a hankering for fiction. I like reading stories that I related to; you know, real people with feelings and problems.
I once read this book about a girl who was a receptionist in a pushing paper-like company. Basically it was almost like that movie American Psycho. The way the people were acting reminded me of Greenwich, Connecticut. Sweaters tied around their necks with tennis rackets positioned on their shoulders. The main girl was realistic. She wanted her boss but she was hiding a secret. Doesn't everyone have them? I would say the book was strangely appropriate. Her boss was a cad, but a likable one. I liked their interaction, the flirtatiousness that sparked from their conversations was so realistic, and I almost put myself in the title role. I wanted to be that girl. She was sharp, spunky and had an incredible sense of making things go her way. Not everything but when it did, I was rooting for her the whole time.
It was nice taking a break from work. I had a feeling that going out was good for me. And I liked being lazy in those reading couches. Aren’t those the best? I had no idea what I was doing in the romance section. I should just go over to the science section. I usually find some crazy science article shit. Like X-Files fucked up.
Good thing there’s nobody really here. I hate when it’s full of annoying people and their kids. Just makes me hate it more that there’s a café. The only reason I come is for the books anyway. I prefer reading here than in the library. It bothers me when you would check out a book and it looked like a tornado trashed it up. Yuck.
I rounded the corner of the bookcase and yelped, “Oh sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Was my fault, I wasn’t looking.” He said gruffly.
I looked up and saw lime green eyes and felt myself staring.
“Are you ok?”
“Um, yeah sorry.” I broke away from the situation.
Sometimes getting distracted could be dangerous. I tell myself that all the time and never follow through. I made a move for that reason trying to find the Sci-fi books.
“Hey uh?” I heard behind me.
Was he following me?
I turned around and raised an eyebrow.
He smirked and looked down. “Oh, you look like you're trying to find something.”
I blushed and looked down as well, “No um, maybe was just looking for the science section but I think I saw it in the back. Thank you.”
“Actually,” he gestured with his finger, “it’s to your right. They changed everything around. I was lost myself.”
I felt like an even bigger dork for not knowing something so simple. I gave a thin smile and turned the other way toward the magazines.
My cell buzzed and I debated whether to click it open. Could be work. Its Friday, basically my day off. Work was usually something I loved but now, it was the furthest thing going on. I'm a dedicated employee, kind of have the reputation of a push-over. Deadlines never keep me busy enough. I always look for more to do.
Silence can't replace of the emptiness of the seconds.
I shut the ringer off and nearly jammed it back in my purse. No more. Today is going to be about me. I didn't know quite what all that meant. I wanted to avoid any form of comeuppance basically. I’ve had enough excitement for a while now. I'm extracting all male forms of any kind. I have other matters to attend to. And you know what? Life? Yep, it just keeps going.
The café didn't have that bank line everyone loves. What I truly hate about those things is the boring conversations of the yuppies. Oh and don't get me started on the laptop carrying weasels trying to bang out a hit screenplay. Good god. Makes me wanna stick pins in my eyeballs. All I felt like getting was a nice warm vanilla steamer. Caffeine would loosen up more strings then I could tolerate.
I brought the warm cup over to the couch in the corner directly across from the Music Anthology section. I was so thrilled it was open as its my favorite place to relax, plus the nice heater is right under it. Score! I might be falling asleep anytime, even though they hate that. I've actually done that more than once. Reminds me of the long full days of college were students would curl up in the fetal position on those little IKEA black leather couch-chairs and snooze it in the library. Ah, youth, its never too late to salvage what's there.
I sat on the full black leather and closed my eyes. Yes. The world is ok again.
I felt something heavy topple over my head and soon a few more things came crashing down. I looked up and caught the thick text before it grazed my forhead.
"Shit. Who's doing that?" Like I would ever get an answer.
"Oh, wow, hey I'm sorry about that." I heard behind me and turned around.
He came toward me and all I saw were his eyes. I was lost. Help me. Oh fuck.
Completed
JuCJustifiedMe is the author of 2 other stories.
This story is part of the series, Amelia. The next story in the series is My Life Would Suck Without You.
This story is part of the series, Amelia. The next story in the series is My Life Would Suck Without You.
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