Amelia’s POV
“Why am I doing this? Why or why am I putting myself through this?” I said in a tired tone to myself while I took a look in the mirror.
Man, there’s a lot of things that’s wrong with the way I look. I’ve had these kinds of body issues since middle school. Am I not sounding like the typical teen here only I’m no longer one. I guess its nerves and I really don’t want to come off tawdry.
“I think this is it. Has to be, I’ve tried on everything else.” I fixed my hair so it wasn’t so much in my face.
I picked up my favorite purple shapes earnings and fit them in. I always liked them. I had them since I was ten. I was thrown a surprise party by the girls who I thought hated me in the 5th grade. It didn’t turn out so bad after all. I wish I could say I had friends for that long. I think its amazing that some people can say they’ve had friends since kindergarten or grad school. For the life of me, I couldn’t hold on to any of them. As soon as the culmination ended, no one spoke to me again. I did blame it on me. The fact that I did have the latest converse high-top, or that that I never wore pretend make-up, or that at that point, I’ve never kissed anyone, did help matters either.
My family never had any money to buy me all the nice things growing up. I didn’t know what spoiled was. Everyday my parents were the biggest penny pinchers I’ve ever known. I think they could have tried harder sometimes but I was so young then I didn’t know the difference. I always thought what we had was decent enough to get by. Looking back, it was a sad time.
I was interrupted by my cell, I reached for it. “Hello?”
“Hey, I’m outside, are you about ready?” I smiled, Brian.
“Yeah, I’ll be outside, hold on.” I clicked off and threw the cell in my purse.
I turned around, giving myself another painful look. Why am I doing this again? This is as good as it gets. I have a guy who wants to see me. Why worry so much? Maybe because I might not have another chance; I really don’t want to mess things up by being such a paranoid weirdo. I can’t afford another disappointment in my life.
Well, here I go. Taking a risk. A big one. I almost couldn’t breathe. Damn, here come the butterflies. I don’t think these are the good kind.
OK, I straightened myself a little bit. God, whenever I do that, I realize again how bad my posture is.
“Get over it. If he likes you, it doesn’t matter.” Can’t believe I’m still doing these pep-talks.
I turned around and jogged to the front door. I did a double take before I opened the door. I pulled it open and stepped outside. Brian’s car was waiting in the driveway. He had the car on still and the radio turned up to some rock music I couldn’t recognize. He saw me as I was coming up close and turned off the radio.
I see him get out of his side and come over to me just before I reach the door.
I know my face got all red, but since it was sundown, he couldn’t tell.
“Hey,” He said, with his Kentucky drawl.
He took my hand gently and held it. “Hey, I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”
He shook his head and leaned in to whisper in my ear, “Good to see you again. You look really nice.”
I blushed and turned away a little. Guys really don’t know what we go through on dates. Least he noticed.
“Thank you. So where are we going?” I followed his lead to the shot gun seat.
He paused for a moment than he leaned against the back of his car. “How do you feel about the beach? Have you been to Gladstone’s?”
“Actually, no but I’ve always wanted to check it out. Do you think it might be busy tonight?” It being Saturday and all.
He shook his head, “No, we’re kind of early actually. I was thinking some dinner first and a walk along the shore. What do you think?”
“That sounds perfect.” I almost couldn’t believe what I said.
Brian leaned off the car and opened that seat for me. I smiled as I sat inside the plush interior.
Something wasn’t right. Well, didn’t feel all quite real. I felt the car move and I knew then we were leaving. I clutched onto my purse a little tighter as I looked out the window, thinking. I don’t really know what I’m thinking about anymore.
My mind spaced a little. This happens whenever I start thinking about my home life. A lot of what happens in my life are too good to be true sometimes. Was Brian? God, guys are so confusing. I feel like any moment, he’ll suddenly disappear without word. Stop calling. Make random excuses on how he needs to work like his life depended on it.
All of this is possible. I feel like there’s more I’m leaving out. But I think I’m just being my paranoid self. Maybe he’s different. But then again, have I not said that before? Jesus, nothing has happened yet and already I’m freaking out. I really have to learn to be a little more trusting.
“Mia, honey, we’re here, hello?” I felt his tap sting me out of my day dream.
“Hey, oh, I’m sorry about that.” I heard commotion on the sand near the restaurant. “What’s that?”
I moved around to get a better look. Apparently it looked like a club party. Now of all nights? Must I deal with assholes at this moment? I rolled my eyes and turned to face Brian.
He was just laughing, “Man, I forgot today was Saturday. Usually this place has some kind of beach party. Nick’s been to a lot of them. He did say something about going tonight. I should have known. Sorry, I didn’t know. We can go somewhere else if you want?”
Something tells me I don’t want to miss this. “No, let’s go. Just keep our distance.”
I took off my heels and stepped into the sand, sinking my feet into the soft grains. I always get scared whenever I step into the sand. I feel like I’m going to sink under.
“Having fun with that?”
I kicked a bunch of sand in his direction. “Oh, of course; everything I do is fun.”
What a way to sound like a ho genius.
“Is that so? Has it been a while?”
I looked at him through confused eyes as we started walking down the shore. “What has?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “The beach, taking a brake from life.”
Honestly, “Last time I was at a beach I was with my mom. We used to actually wake up every day and take our to Venus. I just got so used to waking up I started begging her to go.”
“Why did you stop going?”
Here we go, bring on the sob fest, “She passed away when I was 16. Lung cancer.”
I felt him take my chilly hand and instantly warmed it. God, he was so warm.
“I’m sorry. Can’t imagine what that must be like. What it’s still like.”
He was trying, I get it. But I don’t really think about it anymore. I don’t really know how to define death. It is what it is. I’ve moved on. I’ve done ok.
“Thank you, its ok. I’m doing alright with it. She’s still here.” I pulled my hair out of my eyes with my free hand.
“Ok, if you wanna talk about it, I’m here. I’m glad you’re alright.” He squeezed my hand slightly.
“Thank you. So what about you? You close to your family?”
He paused for 15 seconds, almost like he had to really think about his answer, “Yeah, my family is very important to me. I think Baylee is the reason I’m more connected than ever to my family. He’s such a great gift in my life. He’s changed me into the best person I can be. Now I know what most fathers mean by that. He’s growing up, its just amazing.”
I had to hold back my tears at this. The way he was talking with such emotion about his son, I’ve never heard it before. I wanted to give him a big hug for how he’s talking. This is what a man sounds like. They know who they are. There’s no pretending, no fallacy or excuses. Its just honesty, love, compassion, and selflessness. I only wish he were cloned so I can have him for the rest of my life.
Can you just imagine that? The possibility of someone wanting to hang around you because of you? Its insane to admit it out loud so I’ll just keep it locked in my thoughts for now.
I wanted to ask him something I’ve been meaning to ask him for a long time.
Just as I turned to look at him, I was knocked to the ground with such a force I almost didn’t know what happened. Everything was black and I went to sleep.
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