JC’s POV
“Fuck!” I just smashed against something hard.
I slowly rubbed my face and started to stand up slowly. My eyes were blurry and I could barely see two inches in front of me. I closed my eyes, opened them up again, and finally focused.
Oh shit, not again! Why is she stalking me? “What the fuck is this?”
Brian just looked at me with no expression on his face and turned his attention back to her.
“Come on,” he whispered, helping her up.
Brian continued ignoring me and picked her up toward the bench. I heard him say something like “hey, are you ok?” to her. She was still out of it as she sat down. She looked dizzy and her eyes were still closed. Her hair dragged around her face as she was coming to. Moans escape her lips as she fainted on Brian’s lap, her arms hung loosely at her side. Was it really that bad? Did I really hurt her? She has to be pretending. I couldn't have hit her that hard.
I rubbed my shoulder and looked between them. Why was he touching her like that? She’s not dead. I know I didn’t kill her; this is ridiculous.
I rolled my eyes, surrendering in my own way, “It can’t be that bad. Look, I’m sorry ok? I didn’t know she was there.”
Brian looked up, a menacing look in his eyes cast in my direction. He looked like he wanted to deck me. If looks can kill, I just died now. I was shaking underneath. He dropped his head down, looking back at Amelia.
I came closer, no idea what I was doing now. She laid there, quiet, her eyes still closed as I look in between them. He starts brushing the back of his palm against her face and around her cheek. She moans into the gesture and moves slightly. Her forehead creases and she brings her hand up to touch it.
“Damn, what just happened?” She slowly started to open her eyes.
Brian shook his head, “Are you alright? How’s your head feeling?”
More moans, ok this should not be affecting me like this. She sat up on her own and moved to the corner of the bench, her hand still holding her head as if to keep it in place.
“What happened?” She spoke in a whisper.
Brian turned to me. Oh no. Amelia looked into his direction and narrowed her eyes right at me.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me? What the fuck do you get the nerve?" She raised her voice as she stood up.
My eyes bugged out and I held my hands up in protest, "Look, I said I was sorry. I have no nerve. Did you ever think that it might be your fault?"
She got closer suddenly and I didn't back up. She looked me up and down as I gulped a little louder than I intended. God, I hate to admit this but, I kind of like how angry she looks. I could feel myself sweating on the inside. She held this gaze until she scanned up to my eyes.
"You're right, this is all my fault. It's my fault you're an asshole, its my fault you're a fucking man whore, and its also my fault that I made you crash your waste of space body into mine. All my fault. You caught me. Thanks for the heads up jackass." She spat at me.
God, she's like a feline. All this anger. She certainly has a lot of energy to care what I think. Maybe I want her to care. Who am I kidding though? She doesn't really care, especially with the way she's burning a hole into me with those dark, midnight eyes.
I laughed, waving off her antics, "Whatever. Just stay away from me if you can. See ya around Brian, say hi to Leigh for me?"
I turned around and started walking again. Felt cooler for sure. The sweat off my forehead started dissipating away. I regained the body functions that had closed down previously.
"You won't get away with this." I heard behind me and smirked.
Oh how I love her feistiness. Its fueling this game to continue. And it is a game of course. She knows that I won't get away with this, because we will meet again. And next time, its her that sweats and pines for me. Yeah, that's right. Its her turn to suffer. But hey, I love I that we hate each other. Its a thing of beauty. Keeps things exciting, less boring. I never know what's going to happen. Makes more sense. I enjoy playing games. I really do. And I'll definitely enjoy playing them with her.
Before she knows it, she'll be obsessed just like they all are.
With that thought, I jogged back to the party. I think I left my drink somewhere.
I scanned the area where most of the people were. Huh, this is weird. No surprise everything is in a mess. Its like a scene from Sixteen Candles here. Thank god it ain't my place. But weird, where did everyone go? I had a feeling that as soon as my back was turned, everyone just decided to leave without me. God, this is what happens when you're sober, you remember how shitty and lonely you are and everything else.
But hell, I ain't lonely one bit. I got a couple numbers for the night I'm all set. Can't wait to have some real fun.
I looked up and walked inside from the balcony and shut the door. I jammed my hand inside my pocket and fished for the piece of paper I needed. Lord knows I needed it now.
I flipped it over and smiled as I read the numbers. This is living. I have a great life. I really do. I really don't need people like Amelia stalking me just because she's so jealous she can't see straight. In fact, I'm actually going to forget her. Yeah. This is what's going to happen. I intend to not think about anything to do with her.
Maybe a phone call would seal the deal now. I slumped down lazily onto the sofa behind me and looked at the number. God, those numbers were looking big. This usually happens when nearly or have in the bag. But I barely had anything to drink. Even if I did, I still wouldn't think twice. Just, I don't know. Weirdness now. All fucking weirdness. I never second guess this shit. What the fuck is going on? It was like my functions stopped working.
I feel like I'm losing it. Oh no, here it comes.
"Shit..." The back of my head started to sting again.
I moaned in slight pain. Damn, why was this coming back now of all times? Besides, didn't I hit my shoulder? Damn, this headache was too strong this time.
"Brian, Bri, stop, haha, no stop it. Its too fast, heh." Oh god I was doing so good for 5 minutes.
I jerk my head to the voice and I was confirmed. Good god, what was she in, fourth grade? How disguising was this? I still cannot believe Brian has suck so low with this one. He's gonna leave her. He knows, I know, she knows. He is. How do I know this? Because I know. I'm always right.
Oh god, how much longer should I subject and risk my sight to this display of gross "affection"? Either she's really strong or he's just letting her pin him down like that. This is so messed up I can't believe its happening. I can't believe someone is actually touching her.
I wonder what it would be like if we matched each other. I'd so win. Girls will never be stronger than me. And please, just because she's woman, I won't think twice about giving it to her good. There are no free-bes if it came to that. But I digress of course.
Fighting, just us fighting. Yeah, that would seem a lot better forcing my fingers to dial up these girls for something quick and fun. I'm in the mood for a good fight.
Jeez, I can't watch this and think about touching her at the same time. To fight. Touching her to fight. And why is he looking at her like that? Seriously, why?
I wish I could hear what they're saying to each other. Its all quiet now. Their movements and motions were decreasing. She apparently was laughing so hard she fell down taking him with her. Everything was starting to slow down and they were leaning in...
Ok, this has to stop if I was going to not see my lunch. But I couldn't look away. All I felt was anger. Anger and frustration.
I breathed out loud as Brian stopped leaning. She sat up instantly and hugged her legs. Hmm, wonder what went wrong? He actually stopped it? Granted she really isn't a vision but still, there was a moment there. I've been through those moments. Way back when of course. But when I didn't just make the first move and dive right in. I don't even ponder those moments anymore. Being serious and respectful is for saps.
Still, I wonder why he didn't finish the job? Ugh, what I saw next made me gag big time. He took her hand and placed a kiss on it softly, smiling as he did so. Uh, what was the reason for that? Does he not have balls? Damn, if that was me, well if that was in fact me, girls are girls. They all react the same way. They want it just as much as you do if not more.
But even so, why did he stop himself? He reached his hand up toward her cheek and rubbed it gently. Jeez, what a pussy. Why is acting like he... cares? If he cared, he wouldn't stop himself. All I'm saying. Be a man. Own up to that shit and claim it just like any other guy would. Not me. Just any other guy.
Ok, maybe me. Ok if it was me, I sure wouldn't react that way. Maybe if I was questioning my sexually or something. I hate chasing them. Always have. Chasing means you've surrendered. You've been tagged. You're their pet. You've given into to their needs as opposed to what you want and need. Fuck that. It's all about me. I don't belong to anyone, they belong to me. I own everybody and I always get it no matter what.
It wasn't always like this though. Well, being in control as I put it. Why was I being forced to live in a cage? I asked myself that for so long. I'm only 33 and I feel like I'm really not hanging onto my youth as well as I used to. I reacted a different way. I believed in their fantasy. All the wild hype, the dreaming when I was in high school; all those memories I believed in once upon a time. Made me feel more alone than ever because then I had to trust someone. Trust them with my life.
Its the worst feeling in the world when you realized you aren't really living in a world you thought was real. Almost like the rug was pulled from me as soon as I started to really put my entire passion into it. What a waste I tell you. What a horrible waste of my feelings. Yeah, that's right, I HAD feelings. Still do. Just not as many as I used to. Who needs them when you can not think about how much things hurt all the time. And I know what you're thinking. But I don't really need anyone pointing it in my face. I've made this decision a while ago and I haven't rethunk it since. I live my life the way I choose to. No one holds me down.
I know exactly who I am, anyone who doesn't like it, well, who the fuck cares?
Man, just look at her. I couldn't tear my face away, this is messed up. Now, he's making the move. Weird.
"This is fucking useless. I'm watching this girl like I'm obsessed. Just call the number. Do it." Good god, now I'm talking to myself now.
I did it fast and I got her message. Fuck that, I never leave messages but I was leaving one like a pussy this time. My god. Why can't I do this simple thing?
I looked back at the shore, they were gone. I pinned my eyes shut. This girl doesn't even know what she's done to me. And it sucks. I never thought I'd feel this way again. I really have to stay away from them now. I can't possibly feel this way. No way.
She's with Brian. He has her. And I'm alone. Am I missing something here?
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