I’m almost never bored at work. I love sitting in the back and designing and sewing or being in the main show room with Kyle and talking with him and anyone who comes into the store. Often I have to force myself to leave at the end of the day because if I don’t I’ll end up staying all night long.

Today I’m just restless though. I’ve tried everything I can to get rid of the feeling. I’ve talked with Kyle about as much as I could, I’ve tried to finish three different dresses I have on the go. I’ve even gone on two coffee runs just to fill some time. The caffeine’s made me a bit jittery though and now I can’t even concentrate enough on my sketch pad in front of me. Instead of drawing, my pencil has taken to bouncing against my drawing board in an annoying tapping noise.

If it were any other day and I was feeling like this I would just pack up my stuff and go find someone to spend the rest of the day with. Justin was sick yesterday with a fever and he hasn’t called today to say otherwise so I’m assuming he’s still sick. I would go over but Lynn is here until tomorrow and he doesn’t really need two people trying to take care of him. I’ll just be in the way.

After Justin I would call up Rachel to see if she wanted to do something but she’s back in Tennessee visiting her family so she’s out of the picture.

Other than Justin and Rachel, my options are a bit limited, which is sad in itself. I really need to branch out and make some more friends. Kyle’s invited me out a few times to hang out with him and his friends and I should really take him up on that offer. He did mention something about going out to dinner with some people once we closed today and maybe I can join him. It would be better than going home to my empty house and sitting around all night.

“Cassandra, you have a call.”

I look up from my sketch pad to see Kyle standing in the doorway with the cordless phone with him. Grateful for the distraction, I smile and push my chair back.

“Do you know who it is?”

“Said her name was Lynn.”

My eyebrows draw together a bit. “Lynn?” Why would she be calling me? Granted, the more time we spend together, the better we get along, but she’s one of the last people I would expect to call me up to talk. “Did she say what it’s about?”

Kyle shakes his head. “No.”

I take the phone from him. “Okay. Thanks.”

He smiles at me and then leaves, shutting the door behind him. Once I’m alone, I turn on the phone and raise it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Cassandra, it’s Lynn Harless.”

I’ve never heard Lynn sound anything but calm but right now she sounds completely stressed out and a string of anxiety goes through me. “Hi. Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not. I’m at the hospital with Justin.”

My heart has never dropped so fast. “What happened?”

“He was feeling worse this morning and when I finally got him to the hospital, they said he had appendicitis. But before they could get him into surgery his appendix ruptured.”

My knees buckle a bit and luckily there’s a chair under me or I would have sunk right down the floor. “Is he okay?” I manage to get out, my voice strained.

“They just took him into surgery about half an hour ago. I haven’t heard anything yet.”

A curse slips from my mouth before I can stop it and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, trying to keep myself together. You can die from a ruptured appendix. I’ve seen enough medical shows to know that. “Is…is it okay if I-”

“Of course you should come,” Lynn cuts me off, answering my question. “That’s why I called you. Trace is already on his way.”

“Okay.” It’s not hard to get words out with the giant lump in my throat. “Okay. I’m leaving now. Which hospital?”

“St. Mary’s. Sixth floor.”

“Okay. Thanks, Lynn.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

I hang up the phone and let it drop to the table with a thud. In a bit of a daze, I grab my purse and quickly leave the store, mumbling something to Kyle about an emergency on my way by.

I know there’s nothing I can do, but I still want to be at the hospital as quickly as I can and I speed through the streets as best I can. Tears start to prickle my eyes when I finally have to stop for a red light.

Things can change so quickly when you least expect it. This isn’t some joke. Justin could actually die from this and I won’t have had a chance to say goodbye. The last time I saw him was two days ago and I haven’t even really said goodbye to him because I had been late for an appointment and was in a rush. If that was the last time I ever saw him that would kill me. I didn’t even kiss him goodbye.

My mind is all over the place and I can hardly concentrate enough to get to the hospital in one piece. I try to keep any tears at bay but a couple fall down my cheeks as wait for the elevator. By time I reach the sixth floor, my breathing is a bit uneven and I have to keep blinking rapidly to keep tears from falling.

I’ve never been in this hospital and I don’t know the first place to go. Trace is one of the first people I see when I get off the elevator and just seeing a familiar face causes just a bit of relief to go through me. He’s on the phone but his eyes connect with mine and he gives me a smile. He’s always so calm and laid back but even through his smile I can see the slight anxious look on his face and my stomach clenches. He points to the hallway across from him and I walk past him to the waiting room.

Lynn is one of the few people sitting in the room and she’s sitting off in a corner couch. I walk towards her and she looks up at me as I near.

“Oh good, Cassandra, you’re here,” she says, standing up. She looks more put together than I feel but when she reaches out to hug me I find that there’s a slight quiver to her body.

“How is he?” I ask, pulling back.

Lynn takes a deep breath and runs her hands down the front of her pants. “He’s still in surgery. I haven’t heard anything new.”

That’s not what I wanted to hear. I wanted Lynn to say that he was out of surgery and completely fine. That he would be back to normal by tomorrow. “What happened?” I ask, running my hands through my hair. “He only had a fever yesterday.”

Lynn drops back down to the couch and shakes her head. “I think it was worse than he was letting on. It must have been. By noon today he could hardly even stand and that’s when I brought him here.”

I sink down beside her. “Is he going to be okay?”

“He was in surgery minutes after his appendix ruptured,” Lynn says. “Which is good.” She breathes in deeply and a forced smile appears on her lips. “He’ll be fine, Cassandra. He’s a tough boy.”

“I can’t believe this,” I murmur, leaning back into the couch. The cushions are hard and unforgiving and I can’t get comfortable. That doesn’t bother me too much though. I don’t want to be comfortable in this place.

Lynn’s words have lowered my stress a bit but not by much. I can’t tell if she’s just trying to reassure herself and me that he’ll be okay when in reality he may not be. A ruptured appendix is much worse than appendicitis. A ruptured appendix means toxins were coursing through his body.

Vomit rises in my throat at that thought and I swallow hard, forcing it back down. I need to calm down until I know more. He may be perfectly fine.

He has to be fine. I can’t handle it if he’s not fine. I’ve taken everything he is for granted. If it’s all taken away from me…I don’t know what I’ll do.

The next two hours are the longest of my life. I try to distract myself by sketching but my mind can’t concentrate long enough on it. Trace keeps getting up to make phone calls and when he’s sitting with Lynn and I, he’s filling up the silence with meaningless chatter that neither of us want to participate in. And Lynn is mostly quiet, staring out the window beside her and fingering the necklace around her neck.

It’s close to six o’clock when a doctor comes into the room and comes over to us. Lynn jumps up but I stay seated. I don’t think my legs would hold me if the news is bad.

“Is he okay?” Lynn asks before the doctor can even open his mouth.

“He’ll be fine. He’s out of surgery and in recovery. We were able to get in there in time.”

Immediate relief goes through me and a large breath of air that I didn’t know I was holding comes out of my mouth in a gust. I lean back in the couch and shut my eyes as I say a silent prayer.

“Thank God,” Lynn says, wringing her hands together. “Can I see him?”

“He’s still under anesthesia but he should be conscious soon and when he does wakes up someone will come get you to go see him.”

“Thank you so much,” Lynn says. She sits down on the couch as the doctor leaves but then quickly stands up again. “I need to call Paul and let him know.”

I lean my head down to rub my temples as Lynn leaves the waiting room. I don’t look up until I feel a hand on my knee. Trace gives me a reassuring smile when I look up.

“I told you he’d be okay,” he says. “When Justin dies it’s gonna be a cooler death than appendicitis. He’ll die skydiving or some shit like that.”

A small laugh escapes me and that alone causes a million tones of pressure to be released off my chest. “Yeah.” I hug my arms around myself and stare across the room. It’s quiet for a second before I turn back to Trace. “I need coffee. Do you want some?”

“I can’t handle hospital coffee so I’ll pass. But thanks.”

I probably won’t like hospital coffee much either but at this point I need something in me to take off the edge. Any bit of caffeine will help. I pull my wallet from my bag and stand up. “Okay.”

The cafeteria is easy to find and within a few minutes I have the largest cup of coffee I could find in my hands. I stay in the cafeteria for a few minutes, the change in scenery a welcome relief. I’ve come to loathe the peachy color of the waiting room walls over the past few hours and I don’t want to return to it right away. So instead I take a seat at an empty table in the corner and watch everyone around me as I sip at my coffee. I’m so relieved that Justin’s surgery went well that I can’t even form any thoughts as I sit there. I let myself zone out for a good ten minutes before getting up and tossing my half empty cup into the garbage. That was probably the worst cup of coffee I’ve ever had but at least it did the trick of calming me down a little bit.

Trace is in the hallway again when I get back to the sixth floor. He pulls the phone from his mouth as I near him. “He’s awake.”

My heart jumps a bit. “He is?”

“Lynn’s in there.”

“Did you see him?”

“Nah. Out of the three of you I’m pretty sure I’m last on the list.” His eyes move past me and he nods in that direction before turning back to the phone. I turn to look in that direction and see Lynn coming down the hallway.

“How is he?” I ask when she reaches me.

She smiles at me. “A little out of it but he’s awake. He wants to see you.”

Some warmth spreads through me at her words. “What room?”

“I’ll show you.”

I walk with Lynn down the hallway, a bit anxious. I want to see him so bad but I’m scared he’s going to look really sick. I’ve never seen him sick.

Lynn stops at a half open doorway. “There you go, Sweetie.”

My eyes trained on the door, I listen to her walk down the hallway. After a short moment, I take a deep breath and slip into the room.

Justin’s head is turned in the opposite direction but as soon as my feet scrape against the floor, he turns to me and a weak smile spreads over his lips.

“Hey,” he says softly, his voice a bit raspy.

I smile and cross the room to his bed. His face is pale and there’s circles under his eyes but his eyes are the same as always and I feel so much better now that I can see him.

“Hey,” I reply, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. I pick up his hand in mine, careful to not jostle his IV. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a million bucks,” he says, his eyes slowly closing.

I lean in close to the bed and bring my hand up to run over his head. “I was so scared.”

He smiles a bit and opens his eyes to meet mine. “I’m fine, Cass.”

I want to chastise him for letting it get so bad and not going to the hospital earlier but I don’t want to waste our time together doing that. I lean down to kiss his knuckles and close my eyes briefly before opening them to meet his.

“When your mom called me and told me I was so scared. You could have died and I would have lost you.”

“Cass, I’m tougher than I look.”

“Shh…” I say, kissing his knuckles again. “Let me talk for a second.” I keep my mouth pressed against his hand for a few seconds longer before continuing. “It shouldn’t have happened this way but it made me realize something.”

Justin wets his lips and doesn’t take his eyes off me. “What?”

I can feel tears come to my eyes again and I blink a couple times. “I love you so much. The thought of losing you made me realize how much I love you.”

His smile is tired but unwavering. “Cass…”

“It might scare me but it’s there. It’s been there but it took me this to really realize it.”

“I love you too.”

A smile comes from deep inside and spreads across my lips. It felt good to hear him say it but it feels even better to say it back and truly mean it.

“I know I’m a sicky but can I have a real kiss?”

I laugh slightly and stand up so I can lean over the bed. I’m careful when I kiss him, not wanting to hurt him. The kiss is just as amazing as always though and my heart swells a bit more. When I pull back, I rest my forehead lightly against his.

“You have to be patient with me though,” I whisper to him. “This is all new to me.”

He smiles. “That’s fine with me.”

I pull away and sit back down, picking up his hand again. My eyes flicker to the door when a nurse walked by.

“Think they’re going to come in here and kick me out?”

His eyes close but the smile stays on his face. “Until they do, I want you to stay right here with me.”

There’s nothing I want to do more in the world. “Well I guess I can’t refuse a sicky, right?”