There’s that moment in between sleep and fully waking up when all the worries and stress of the previous day are non existent. It’s this blissfully unaware state in which everything is perfect and life could never be better.

I really need to find a way to stay in that state permanently. About ten seconds after I wake up at nine o’clock memories of the day before come crashing down, creating a heavy lump in my stomach.

Yesterday had been like any other day. Probably better in fact because Justin had said he had a surprise for me and made this fancy dinner at his house for us. And everything had been great until he had sprung on me the reason for the celebration. All the contracts for the new movie he was doing were complete and they were starting shooting next week.

In Hawaii. For three months.

That had kind of put a damper on the evening.

Justin is the person I’m closest to and spend the most time with in LA and he’s leaving for three months. And he’s taking Rachel, the second most person I’m closest with, with him as his personal assistant.

Needless to say, after that news was dropped on me, I could hardly even pretend to be happy for him. Three months can go by fast but not when your boyfriend is across the country. Not when I’m going to go from seeing him almost every day to only seeing him on scheduled times that are convenient with my schedule and his.

Justin could see my obvious drop in enthusiasm and he tried to cheer me up by telling me he’d get me down there whenever I could take time off work, even if it was just a day or two. He said that it would be like a vacation whenever I would see him. And that really, three months would fly by and I wouldn’t even miss him.

Neither of us chose to acknowledge what complete bullshit that really is.

I’m not scared of not being able to see him all the time. That’s not the problem. I’m scared something might change.

At four and a half months, my relationship with Justin is closing in on my longest relationship ever and it’s definitely the most serious one I’ve ever had. I love Justin more than most people in my life and at this point I really can’t imagine life without him. But it’s taken a lot to get to this point and I don’t want us being separated by hundreds of miles to change any of that.

I’m more than likely being a little paranoid about the entire thing but even telling myself that I can’t shake the depressed feeling inside. Everything was going so perfectly between us and I don’t want the chance of anything ruining that.

Rolling onto my side, I curl into a ball and stare at the blue walls across from me. I should be happy for Justin. He got a part in this movie he really wanted to do and I feel like I put a damper on his excitement by being sad he’s leaving. I tried to hide it but he saw it and it sobered him up a bit.

I guess I’m a bit of a bitch for making it about me.

Ten minutes after being awake, I close my eyes again and will myself to go back to sleep. At least when I’m asleep I don’t have to think about all this.

I’m actually able to drift into a light sleep but the sound of my front door opening pulls me back to reality. I open my eyes and am slightly concerned for a minute until I remember that I gave Justin a key to my house last week in case of emergencies. I guess he’s putting it to good use.

My eyes are closed again by time the door to my bedroom opens. He’s going to want to talk and I just don’t think I can do that without crying.

“Cass,” his voice says soft. It sounds like he doesn’t even expect a response so I stay quiet. There’s some shuffling and then a bit of cool air hits me as the covers are pulled back. I can’t stop the sigh from escaping me when his warm body slides behind me.

“So you are awake,” he says as he pulls himself close behind me.

I don’t open my eyes until his arm slides around me. “Mm hmm.”

He clasps my hand resting on the pillow by my cheek with his and I watch him intertwine our fingers. Neither of us move for a minute until he nuzzles his face into my neck and kisses the skin there.

“I love you.”

A shiver goes through me at his quiet words and I grip his hand tightly. “I love you too.”

I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. “That’s really all we need to make this work, you know. Three months in different states isn’t going to change that.”

Tears come to my eyes before I can stop them. I blink once and one slides down my cheek. When it falls and hits his hand, he sighs.

“Cass…”

I sniff and curse myself for crying. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, trying to keep the quiver from my voice. “I’m happy you got the part. I really am.”

His lips connect to my neck again. “I know you are,” he mumbles against my skin. “And I know you’re also upset.”

I pull in a deep breath and shut my eyes as tight as I can. “No, I’m fine.”

He lets out a small chuckle. “Babe, you’re not fine. You’re crying.”

I open my eyes in defeat and stare at the wall. “I’m trying not to.”

He laughs again and pulls on my waist until I finally roll to my other side to face him. Not wanting him to see how upset I really am, I press my face into his t-shirt.

“Cassie,” he says, trying to pull back so he can see my face. I merely grip his shirt harder. “Hey, come on. Cassandra. It won’t be that bad.”

I drop my head onto the pillow and bring up my hand to wipe my eyes. “It will because I’ve only ever been in LA when you’re here. I don’t know how to live here without you.”

His thumb catches a tear as it falls from my eye. “I promise you it’s going to be fine. You know people here now and it’s not like we’re not going to see each other at all during the three months. I’ll have breaks and come back here and you’ll have times when you can come down there and see me.”

I blink a couple times, trying to get the tears off my eyelashes, and focus my eyes on him. He looks so concerned and I feel bad that he has to feel that way instead of being happy for the movie part.

“I’m sorry,” I finally say with a sigh.

“Stop apologizing,” he replies and leans forward to kiss me. My body relaxes at his slow kiss and I return it, sinking further into his arms. “It really is going to be okay,” he mumbles against my lips.

I close my eyes when he rests his forehead against mine. I wish we could just stay like this forever. That there would never be a time when I wouldn’t be able to see him whenever I wanted to. I don’t even want to think about how lonely I’m going to be while he’s away.

“Can you take a week off work sometime soon?”

I open my eyes to find him staring at me. “When?”

“A week from Sunday.”

“Why?”

“I want to go somewhere with you before I have to leave for Hawaii. I was thinking we should go to St. Thomas. Have you ever been there?”

“No,” I say softly.

“Do you want to do that? We could rent a bungalow right on the beach and just lay by the water all day.”

He makes it sound so good that I can’t help but nod and smile.

“Think you can break away from the store for a week?”

It’s probably one of the last things I should do since I have so much extra to do with the two new New York buyers we have. But I’ve been working hard for the past five months and if I’m going to be without Justin for an entire three months, I want to spend some real quality time with him before he goes.

“I’ll find a way.”

He smiles and pulls me tight against him. “Good. I’ll book the tickets tonight.”

I nod and tuck my head into his neck, breathing in deeply. He leaves for Hawaii in three weeks and I want to memorize every little thing about him so I have at least something while he’s gone.

The smell of his cologne is completely soothing and that combined with his body against mine is lulling me to sleep. Justin’s breathing is light so I know he’s still awake but he doesn’t make any move to get out of bed. In fact, neither of move at all until the ringing of my phone cuts through the otherwise silence.

I groan softly at the interruption and push my face tighter into his neck.

“Want me to get it?” Justin asks after the second ring.

I sigh but nod. It could be something important.

His one arm leaves from around me and he shifts a bit so he can grab my cordless phone sitting on my bedside table. I keep my eyes close and listen to his side of the conversation.

“Hello?...No, she’s sleeping right now. Can I take a message?”

I smile a bit. I was hoping he would make up an excuse for me not to have to talk on the phone.

“Jordan?”

My eyes snap open at the name. Shit. Why was he calling? Mom must have given him my number because I sure as hell wouldn’t be stupid enough to give it out to him or Greg.

“Sure, I’ll tell her you-” He stops for a second. “Uh, Justin…Yeah.”

I close my eyes again and stifle a groan. Please let Jordan have some sense of grace and not say anything crude or disrespectful to Justin.

“Uh huh.” He utters a dry laugh. “Sure…Yeah, bye.” He clicks the phone off and then clears his throat. “So Jordan called.”

I can’t help but laugh slightly at his obvious statement. “We should have just let it ring.”

“Mm.”

I lift up my head so I can see him. I might need to damage control. “What did he say to you?”

He yawns and rolls onto his back, his arm pulling away from my body. “Nothing much. He wants you to call him. Said something about needing to borrow some money and how you have a lot.”

I groan and bring up my hand to rub my eyes. “Of course.”

“What’s the deal with him and Greg? You hardly ever mention them.”

I sigh. “Jordan’s a year older than me and Greg’s two years younger. They lived with Grant’s ex wife so I didn’t see them a lot when I was growing up. They’re both just…” I trail off as I try to find the right word. “Incredible mooches.”

“Do they work?”

“They both just dick around. Greg’s a professional student and Grant’s gladly paying the way for that. He still lives with his mom and doesn’t pay for a thing. Jordan doesn’t do anything really. He says he’s writing a novel but he’s been saying that for years.”

“And he has no money so he always tries to get you to give him some?”

“He has money. Grant has a trust fund set up for him and he gets a specific amount each month but he blows all the money right at the beginning of the month and then mooches off other people.” I stretch my arms above my body. “He calls every couple months when he’s got no one else. I made a point not to give him my new number but I guess my mom or Grant gave it to him.”

“Are you going to call him back?”

I breathe in deeply. “Not today. I don’t have the patience to deal with him right now.”

“Besides, you’re spending the day with me.”

My lips begin to curve up and I raise my eyebrows. “Oh I am, am I?”

He grins and moves to cover my body with his. “Uh huh. I have it all planned.”

I pull my arms from in between our bodies to run my hands up his back. “And what would those plans be?”

He reaches down and pulls up the blankets around us. “How about I just show you.”