Later on, as it was time for bed, Justin and Mike sat alone in their room, but Justin felt more alone than ever. Mike had long gone to bed, and Justin felt himself being awake by the older man’s light snoring. He smiled knowing that Mike had not deserted him, that he hadn’t been deserted. But even as he felt this, deep down inside he felt as if he had no one.
He closed his eyes, although he really didn’t know why and tried to sleep, but the words of everyone around him were still running through his head. They told him he would move on, but how could he? He was blind, unable to see anything or anyone and he was alone. He sighed and finally after a long time he felt himself drift off into an uneasy sleep. But he was still alone, and he would always be, for a long, long time.
“Justin wake up,” Mike’s voice called Justin opened his eyes, but only saw black and for a moment he panicked forgetting where he was.
“Mike? Mike? Where am I? What happened?” Justin asked sitting up and moving his head around hoping to see.
“Justin its okay,” Mike’s voice said in a reassuring tone, “You’re at the Center remember?” Justin felt Mike place a strong and on his chest to calm him down.
“Oh yeah,” Justin said after he realized what had just happened. “Sorry I forgot.” He bowed his head slightly and heard Mike sigh.
“It’s okay,” Mike said and Justin felt Mike get up from the edge of the bed. “Come on let’s get you ready for your first group session.” Justin looked up and shook his head.
“No, I don’t want all those people to see me like this,” Justin said adamantly. Mike nodded and placed a hand on Justin’s shoulder.
“I know you don’t, but it’s what they said was best,” Mike said and helped a reluctant Justin off the bed.
“I know what they said Mike, but I still have to think about my image,” Justin said, as Mike led him a few paces forward.
“Justin, you don’t have to worry about that here remember?” Mike replied as he led Justin to a stop. Justin heard a zipper being opened and someone ruffling through clothes.
“But the doctors…” Justin began and Mike sighed, the ruffling stopped as Justin felt Mike place warm clothes in his hands.
“The doctors don’t care about that, all they care about is you getting the help you need,” Mike replied and patted Justin’s back. “Okay Kiddo let’s do this.” Justin nodded and let Mike help him dress, once they were done Justin spoke.
“You’re sure no one will care?” Justin asked Mike.
“Yes Justin, no one will care. You’re all the same here,” Mike replied and took Justin’s hand. “Do you want to go to the session now?” Justin nodded and let Mike lead him out of the room. Justin didn’t know how long they’d walked but soon they came to a stop. “Justin, you can sit down.” Justin nodded and felt around behind him for a chair.
“Thanks Mike,” Justin said as Mike pushed the chair forward slightly so Justin could sit.
“No problems Kiddo, look I’m just going to be by the door ok? If there’s anything call me,” Mike said and Justin heard Mike’s footsteps walk away and for a moment he panicked.
“Mike wait,” Justin called feeling around him wildly.
“Yeah?” Mike asked as his footsteps came back.
“Don’t leave me,” Justin whimpered and felt a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m not leaving you, I’m right here,” Mike said in a calming voice. Justin heard Mike pull up a chair and a soft thud as the heavy set man sat down. “I’m right next to you kiddo.”
There was silence for a while and all Justin heard was Mike’s soft breathing next to him, so he presumed he was the only person in the room apart from Mike. Soon the nice silence was disrupted by more footsteps and Justin sat up alert.
“It’s okay Justin,” Mike said realizing Justin’s panic and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s just the other patients.” Justin seemed to calm down a bit and nodded as more footsteps entered and the noise in the room grew, the whole time not letting go of the grip that he had on Mike’s hand.
“Hello everyone,” a voice Justin recognized said. “I’m Dr. Hart, your counsellor for the time you’ll be here. Why don’t we begin by introducing ourselves? Jane would you like to start?” Justin smiled at the fact that there was another familiar voice in the room but as they went around introducing themselves he wondered what he was going to say. Usually he knew what to say in front of a crowd, when he could see them. But now he couldn’t, and that was the most uneasy feeling in the world.
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