I sat in the limo next to Addison quietly looking out the window. We really do come from two different worlds. Even though we both are in the same industry I grew up middle class and worked hard to be where I am in the upper class. Addison was born upper class. She does work hard, but the way she lives is so different from the way I live. One example is I don’t take limos unless I’m going to an awards show. Addison takes a limo or at least a driver just about everywhere she goes.
“You look so nervous” she said with a chuckle as she moved over and sat on my lap.
“Yeah, I am nervous.”
“Why? Don’t be nervous, he’s going to love you,” she said as she fixed my tie.
“Your father is fucking Jeremy Grenadier. I’d be nervous to meet him at an awards show, forget about meeting him while he knows I’m sleeping with his daughter.”
She laughed and just hearing her laugh made me laugh, have I mentioned how much I love her laugh? “Just don’t talk to him about that.”
“Yeah, I figured thanks.”
“And don’t talk about his movies. Don’t say you want to work with him, don’t hint that you’ve heard he’s working on something and you read the script and would love to be in it. Don’t talk about business at all.”
“I would never” I looked at her seriously.
“Just talk about the Lakers… and me” she smiled and before kissing me.
“And what should I not talk about with your mother?”
“Um… Meryl Streep or Sharon Stone” she laughed, “It’s just dinner. I promise they’re not that intimidating.”
“Is it just your parents?” she nodded her head as the car stopped in front of the restaurant, “Alright” I took a deep breath.
“Calm down, they smell fear” she laughed.
I really felt like I might pass out. I’ve never been that nervous before, there was just something about the Grenadier family that just got me so intimidated. I stepped out of the limo and held out my hand to help Addison out. It felt like a million flashes going off and we both covered our faces as I quickly led her into the restaurant. I was hoping we’d be there before them but since Addison takes so long to get ready they were definitely there before we were.
I walked out of the club with Addison, covering my face as best I could. I looked over at her and noticed her face was out in the open, almost as if she was welcoming the pictures. She never wants to be seen with me. She never wanted to be seen with me when we were dating, forget about when we’re not.
I got in the car and quickly drove off. She rested her hand in my lap, “So you have another freeloader from home?”
“Huh?”
“That girl.”
“Julie” I corrected her, “She’s not a freeloader.”
“Oh really? Does she have a job?” I started to tell her but she broke in, “A job that you didn’t make up for her.”
I took a deep breath, “She’s looking for one, she just finished school.”
“Cute” I saw her roll her eyes, “So you have another lost puppy to add to the pound.”
I took a deep breath, “What’s her problem Addison? Since you’re so good at pointing out everyone else’s damn flaws. Carrie’s a tomboy, Trace is too short, you’ve seen Jules for a whole two seconds you must have been able to figure her out completely.”
“She’s dumb. She looks stupid.”
I laughed, “She just graduated from grad school fucking magna cum laude.”
“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”
I shook my head, Addison who is calling everyone else dumb doesn’t even know what that is, “It’s like the highest honor in school, the highest GPA.”
She gave me a blank stare, “Whatever” she paused and played with the electronic windows, putting them up and down, “She doesn’t know how to wear makeup does she?”
“What?” I heard myself laugh.
“She had like no makeup on.”
“Some people don’t need to paint on their faces” I chuckled.
“She could have used some paint.”
“Why is it that you always have shit to say about my friends?”
“Because you have stupid friends” she shrugged.
“I have never said anything rude about your friends, and you have some crazy friends yourself.”
“Oh please, like who? Go ahead Justin, tell me all about my crazy friends.”
I shook my head; it would probably not be a good career move to call out her friends. Especially since most of her friends are huge in this city and could ruin me if they wanted, “I’m not going there.”
“Because my friends aren’t crazy like yours. Yours aren’t crazy, they’re just trashy.”
“Trashy? Who is trashy?” I felt my tempter beginning to flair.
“Carrie, obviously. Trace is like a walking white trash poster. And the new girl, please. You need friends not from fucking Hicksville she’s got a fucking accent like a redneck.”
I shook my head and stopped in her driveway, “Fuck you Addison.” That Hicksville accent is where I’m from; it’s who I am. Just because I lost it for the most part doesn’t mean it’s not still part of me. Like they say, you can take the boy out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the boy.
She rolled her eyes, “Come on.”
“I’m not going in with you. You ruined the mood completely” she looked at me but didn’t move, “Get out, I want to go home.”
“You’re such a fucking idiot Justin. I can’t believe you, I could have gone home with anyone.”
“Then go back, want me to drive you back?”
“Fuck you” she answered as she slammed the door and walked quickly into her house, slamming the front door.
“What’s the deal with you and DiCaprio?”
“What are you talking about? He’s my boyfriend, duh,” Addison answered sarcastically as she took a sip from her coffee.
“Seriously? You spend a lot of time with him.”
“Our movie’s coming out in a month. Don’t start jealous shit.”
“I’m not jealous. I don’t think I’m out of line here, I mean come on Ads you go out with him more than you go out with me.”
“J seriously? You know that I have to go out with him.”
“All I’m saying is you seem to be enjoying your time with him.”
“I don’t hate him he’s a cool guy.”
“Nice.”
“But I’m not dating him, I don’t want to date him, I’m dating you. It’s acting Justin, I’m an actress. A damn good actress and I have make it look realistic.”
“Ok, so why can’t we date in public? Why can’t we come out as a couple, that’ll be good for publicity?”
“Because I’m dating him” she had a slight smile on her face but I saw it slid off when she looked at me, “Baby come on, I would be fine with coming out with you but I can’t right now. I’ll talk to Ken and see like maybe it will do good if we fake broke up before the premier because then everyone would care about us showing up at the same time. Then maybe you could come too and everyone will go crazy.”
I took a deep breath; “I hate this fucking drama” I hate having to do all this bullshit. This is by far the worst part there is about my job. It’s impossible to just be able to date my girlfriend. Everything has to be a secret and it’s perfectly normal that she’s “dating” someone else and I’m supposed to be perfectly fine with it.
“Baby come on, I’ll have Jess talk to Ken”
“I don’t want to go to a premier with my fucking girlfriend for eight months and then have everyone think I’m this home wrecker that stole you from fucking DiCaprio who you’ve been fake dating for the past two months.”
“What do you want me to do?” she raised her voice, at first she was comforting me about it but she’s done with that now, “What the fuck J? It’s not my fault”
“I never said it was your fucking fault.”
“You’re totally blaming me.”
“I am not. I’m just saying its bullshit. I want to show you off Ads, I want to be able to take you to dinner and a fucking movie instead of always having to hide out at your house.”
I drove around for a while, not really ready to go home. Addison is not worth all that shit. She should not be talking about my friends like that. She’s calling Jules dumb. Jules is the smartest person I know. And then she says she’s trashy. Just because everyone wasn’t born into Hollywood royalty like herself they’re not trashy. If Addison weren’t born into her family she’d probably be selling herself on the streets somewhere.
I parked my car in the driveway and walked into the dark house. I passed Julie’s room and saw that the light was still on so I knocked on the door, “Yeah?”
I opened the door and saw her sitting in bed reading a magazine, “What’s up?”
“That was quick” I nodded my head, “What are you doing here?”
I shrugged and laid down next to her, “I’m bored” I said as I slid under the covers.
“OK” she laughed and put her magazine down, “What happened?”
“She’s a bitch,” I answered as I moved my head over to her pillow, “But you knew that.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yes you did. Everyone knew it. I knew it.”
“Sorry” she said as she pushed down so she was lying with me, her head sharing the pillow.
I took a deep breath and played with the edge of the blanket, “Alright I’m ready for my free psychoanalysis.”
“OK, let’s go” she smiled.
“I don’t know why she has that control over me, but as soon as she walks into a room I feel like… I don’t know, like I need to be with her. I know what she’s like, I know how obnoxious she is and how spoiled and high maintenance. And I’m not into that at all, you know I’ve never been with anyone like her before” she nodded her head, “But when I see her I feel like she’s not a bitch. I think of the good times we had and when she was a normal person at the beginning of the relationship.”
“That’s completely normal.”
“Nah, it’s not normal. I should be able to just walk away from it because I know what she’s really like. But when she comes into a room my head turns and I watch her and I look at her like every other damn guy in the room that has never met her before and has no idea what she’s really like.”
“She’s a pretty girl though. It’s ok to get caught up in that.”
“But I’ve dated pretty girls. I’ve dated the girls that make every guy’s head turn when they walk into a room. But none of them make my head turn anymore. Britney’s fucking crazy, and I know that. She’s still hot as hell but she’s crazy. And when she walks in I don’t look. Well I look because I want to see what she’s going to do but I don’t look like I’ve never seen her before and I need to get her into bed like I do with Addison.”
“That’s different though, Britney’s different. She cheated on you, so that ended everything.”
I took a deep breath, “So did Addison” I answered softly. She didn’t know that, no one knew that. I’m ashamed of the fact that I took her back after she cheated on me.
“What?” Julie shouted, “Why do I not know any of this?”
“No one knows Jules” I said softly, “Because I ignored it. I acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal and she was sorry, it was a mistake, a one-time thing. Everyone says the same excuses and I never fall for them but with her I did. I’ve been with plenty of girls that have cheated on me you know that. And every time one of them cheats on me it’s over. I end it in a matter of seconds. But I don’t know what the fuck made me trust Addison. I knew she wasn’t sorry, I knew she’d probably been cheating on me a hell of a lot more than I found out. But I looked past it.”
I looked over at Jules and she looked pissed herself and I continued.
“And Cameron could walk in and I don’t give her a second look. She’s beautiful and a good person. She never did any shit to me it just didn’t work out. But still, I see fucking Addison and I go fucking crazy for the biggest bitch in Hollywood.”
“It’s different though, she has that control over everyone. It’s not just you; it’s the way she is. She manipulates people. She uses the way she looks to get what she wants. People are like that Lake, especially here. These girls need the drama and are so used to getting everything they want they’ll do anything to get it. It’s like an addiction… I learned about it, I’m not just making it up” she let out a laugh.
I took a deep breath, “And what the fuck does that say about me? I can’t control myself. I have no fucking control, I’m just this dumb ass guy thinking with my dick and I can’t move past it.”
“You’re a little hard on yourself Lake.”
“Alright. What’s my problem Doc? And what kind of help do I need?”
“I think you just need to separate yourself from it. That’s the only solution. It’s not that big of a problem, it happens. I mean when you fall, you fall hard. You always have” she’s right although I wish she wasn’t. I have some problem that I fall in love with girls too quickly. Most guys have a problem with commitment. And honestly, I should be one of them. I should be living it up with all the whores in the city but that doesn’t appeal to me. I hate dating, I’d much rather be in a serious relationship. It’s good to know someone’s there to take on the world with you. I know I have other people there for me all the time, like my mother, Trace, Jules and Chrissy. But it’s different to be in love and have someone like that.
“That’s all you got?” I asked with a smile.
“That’s all I got?” she punched my arm, “What do you want a secret potion that will get rid of her?”
“No” I laughed, “Wait, you got something?”
“No, but I do have a Voodoo doll” she rolled her eyes, “Just stay away from her. If you’re out and she comes in walk the other way. Don’t look at her legs, isn’t that like her thing? She has those amazing legs?” I nodded my head, “Then look up” she giggled, “Just stay away from her.”
I nodded my head, even though it’s much easier said than done. When she comes into a room everyone’s head turns, it’s going to take a lot not to let my head be one of them, “I just like to be with someone. It’s hard to be alone.”
“I know” she nodded her head, “I know you hate being alone and it’s scary because you think you’re going to be alone forever. But you’re not Lake. You’re a great guy and anyone would be extremely lucky to have you. You don’t disserve to be treated like that, and you shouldn’t be. You’re better than that. You’ve never settled so why are you going to start? You could have any girl you want, just take your time and look around, don’t rush anything” that goes through me like nothing else. I absolutely hate when people tell me I could have any girl I want. That could not be further from the truth.
My schedule is really fucked up. Sure, in theory I’m one of the “sexiest bachelor’s” and so many girls wish they could be with me. But they don’t know me. They know the publicized me, the guy that writes romantic songs, jokes around at interviews, dances my ass off on stage. That’s not me. There’s so much more to me than that. I’m a perfectionist and a workaholic. I can be too much at times. I’ve been called annoying, by others not just Addison. The point is I have my fair share of issues. If they really knew me I doubt they would be interested. And then there's the simple fact that I’m never around. Any girl that says they understand… well that lasts about a month. And then they get annoyed and can’t deal with it. They think they know what they’re getting into but they don’t. There’s the fact that I’m away a lot, there are sluts throwing themselves at me, I work so much sometimes I can’t even get ten minutes off for a phone call. Then if we are dating their face is in every damn magazine from here to Timbuktu. They talk shit about anyone, it doesn’t matter if it’s some celebrity or a normal girl, they don’t care. I guess that’s why I tend to date other celebrities just because they’re used to it. It’s a hard thing to get used to but it’s impossible for a normal girl not to be scared away from it. Not even to mention the girls that date me just to be in the magazine. I’m not even going to get started with that.
“You’ll be ok Lake, just don’t rush into anything. I’m all alone too, we’ll be lonely together,” she laughed as she wrapped her arms around mine, “But I will keep my eyes open for a Voodoo doll.”
“Thanks” I laughed before pulling the covers down, “Alright, thanks Doc. I’m going to bed.”
“Goodnight Lake.”
Incomplete
Lily is the author of 9 other stories.
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