Lady Liberty..Grace.....
I was on tender hooks, I couldn’t sleep in case something happened, I couldn’t do it. She wasn’t coming she decided that she just didn’t want to be born, that's what it was. She knew I didn’t know a thing about being mothers so she decided to just stay in there were she was safe from me screwing up. Yeah that's the train of thought id held for 10 hours when I should have been asleep.
I was scared and alone while he was off having a sex session with lil miss new
boobs. Ugh I think that's what maddens me most of all, this shit…she knew he was
here, for two full weeks but no she couldn’t come then like a normal person , oh
no she had to wait till my due date to show up and distract his ass with her non
existent one. It was insane, she was a jealous bitch…or maybe that was me. Well either way I was just plain mad at her…
It was after 8 when my second, yes my second baby shower ended…I think my friends knew I didn’t want to be alone if something happened. But Leesa and kali stuck around just in case. So when he came to the door all dressed up in a suit at 9; 30 I knew where he was headed the “surprise” party that he invited me too, but I of course declined. I just couldn’t for clear reasons, others included not wanting to look at those two suck face all night.
“Hey…” he said as Leesa let him in with a yell of “white boy is here….” she had her
ways; we knew she meant no harm in it.
“You okay? No pains or anything yet?”
“No…Nothin, im beginning to think she's changed her mind about us…” I laughed.
He looked hot to say the least, he had on a dark green velvet jacket with a white T
underneath and light jeans…simple but effective.
With that she came over the door, so over done I thought she was a mannequin.
“baby are you ready the cabs waiting…” she swaggered in the door in a
microscopic (too short for those chubby legs) sapphire silk number, so skin
hugging I think I saw her ribs….i hated to admit it but the bitch looked good.
“Oh hi harri…don’t you look…um...Comfortable?” she sniggered. Bitch I was ready
to give birth I wasn’t about to go work the nearest street corner.
“Well you know at times like these…in winter an all its important not to die of frost
bite, you might wanna protect your pussy and wear some underwear.
Justin burst out laughing; she just scowled at him with her daggered eyes again.
“A huh…J baby we really should go…Come on…” she tugged at his arm. He just rolled his pretty blue eyes at me.
“Well Harri if you need anything, I mean ANYTHING” he stressed “Just call my cell
okay?”
“I will…oh and J?”
“Yeah?” he looked back from the door
“Happy birthday…” he smiled and thanked me. It made me mushy. God I loved
him…but then he was out the door.
“Ok someone get me some chocolate before I hit something!!!” I yelled
playfully. “Jesus was it me or could anyone else see her –“
“EWW I know what the fuck was up with that…White boy sure has down graded since you honey…she's a class f Ho I mean that dress was a classic, DKN -O you
know?!!”
I heard that alright, it certainly was.
***************************
When I entered my party I had to admit that it was nice of her to organise it, all my friends were there some close some not, even my mamma I don’t know how
they all arrived in town and didn’t let on, even thought I knew about the party…
apparently there had been some changes to my credit cards…As in one of them
was maxed out. Yeah that's right essentially I was paying for my own party…sad
right?
But regardless it looked like fun. There was decorations, pictures of me at awkward stages, including the blonde corn rows, that lets face it were a HUGE
mistake, no white man can look cool with corn rows – take note K-fed. My girl
looked good as she worked the room, my mom looked happy as she wished my
happy birthday, then she went over this speech the one id been hearing since I
was nine - this time 23 years ago I was in so much pain, I was dying did you know
that 23 hours with you…” and so on and so forth… good times.
“Here honey let me take your jacket…” Carmen said as she yanked the thing off
my back. Then she threw me into the pit that was all these people wanting to talk
to me, get a drink (or several) for like an hour I couldn’t get moving, I was stuck in catch up conversation hell…
“Justin your being rude!” I heard her shriek
“Why?”
“Stop looking into your cell phone ever five fucking seconds, if she calls she calls…
Look give it to me go talk to your guests!”
“No they know okay…well some of em’ they know what im waiting on. I don’t want to miss it.”
“You wont, look ill keep it for you, then if she calls Ill come find you okay?”
“You sure?” she smiled… “Of course I am…Now go.”
See, that seemed like a sweet thing didn’t it…yeah the thing was, I didn’t know it at
the time but when she slipped the phone in her hands she “Accidentally” shut it off.
“Is he picking up?” I yelled at leesa
“No…Look come on we can’t wait any longer, if your water breaks here…I don’t
know what to do…”
“I can’t. He wants to be here for this!!” I was standing in my living room holding on
the back of my sofa. Shit!! It hurt so bad…I thought I was dying.
“Sweetie if he really wanted to be here, he’d be here or at the very least keep his
phone on…”
She was right.
“Ok…Kali you got my bag right?”
“YES!” she yelled “And a cab…Come on!”
It was the longest ride to the hospital possibly ever. With the Chinese cabbie that
tried to keep us all entertained between contractions with his “funny” tails of how
his wife had four babies in one go…in a ditch in china when she was 16…oh yeah really good times…
when we pulled up, with Leesa having tried his cell several hundred times as well
as his mothers and his best friends…I was loosing hope, not only was I in pain but
I was fucking pissed off at him…
“Go get him…”
“What?”
“Leesa please…Go get him!!!”
“But I….i don’t know where-“
“Please!!” I spat of where he was, hell even what room it was in. and she took that
same cab to go get him.
I pleaded with god not to let me go through this alone, Kali was cool and all but
she knew shit about this stuff, even less than Justin!
As they wheeled me into the room, the nurse assured me that I wasn’t close yet.
That I wasn’t even dilated enough. Holy shit if this wasn’t me close then I didn’t want to go any further.
“I need the drugs!!”
“Honey your not gonna push yet, so no you don’t need em yet!”
“I have a really low threshold for pain, I need something…”
“Honey, we’re almost at 4 centimetres we can’t start pushing until you’re at ten…”
“TEN! Are you kidding me here…this is insane!”
“I know darling I know…” the kind nurse Mandy said with a smile. “Now sit back
and breathe…let your friend here look out for you until I come back.
****
“Any news yet?” I asked her for like the millionth time that night.
“Nope…Nothing. Hey have you seen Christina? She was looking for you!”
“Yeah I seen her, look maybe I should call her…check in maybe?” I pondered.
“No, im sure if there was anything going on she would have called….she still held
my phone in her pocket in the slip of her dress.
“Check it again please?”
“Look cant you just enjoy this for one fucking second without mentioning her!! I
mean Jesus…your acting like she's the only one to EVER have a fucking baby….”
She was livid; her eyes scared me when she got like that.
“What the fuck is your problem I thought you said you were okay with this, whats
with the attitude!”
“Nothin, its just…” she huffed air “I just wanted one night with you that wasn’t
sidelined by her…Is that so much to ask?”
Maybe it wasn’t…I guess I never really looked at this from her side of things…
“Your right, I am so sorry…” I leaned into kiss her.
Then I heard yelling, and most of the party quietened down at the yell of my
name.
“What the fuck…” I made my way to the door to find a snow covered leesa
wrestling with two security guards, “Don’t worry sir we have her under control…”
yeah it looked that way.
“Leesa? Whats wrong…”
“OOH Justin thank fuck I found you!! Where the hell is your damn cell! Ive had
been trying to reach you for like an hour, then ive been standing out her arguing
with these two ASSHOLES to let me in to you…Its Harri…she's in labour!!!”
“What? WOW…What wait why didn’t you call…”
“DUMBASS, I have been calling! You switched your fucking cell off…”
“No…I didn’t…I didn’t…” I didn’t but she did.
I walked over to Carmen and I yanked the cell from her slip, Leesa was right, she
had turned it off.
She looked guilty.
“How could you?”
She just shrugged…
“HOW COULD YOU CARMEN, you know how much this means to me…”
“Yeah well…you know now…so I guess you better get going or you might miss it…”
“No thanks to you…” I threw the cell on the ground and stomped my way outta
there. No doubt the enquirer would be fresh with headlines tomorrow.
*****
The fucking traffic was insane on the way to the hospital, I was shaking. More so
from being mad at Carmen, then from sheer fear. This was it the baby was coming
she was on her way…then again harri was in the middle of it in pain and more than
likely hating me!
“I can’t believe that bitch did that to you…” Leesa ranted.
“Yeah, look I am so sorry had I known…”
“Boy don’t tell me, im not the one you’re need in’ to explain too, im not the one
trying to push YOUR baby throw my vagina!”
“Ok, look can you just shut up okay…Im fucking sorry but im gonna be there for
her and that’s it…”
“Yeah well…I guess its better late than never.” She shrugged; I knew she hated
me she always gave me a hard time, I used to be used to it.
When I came running into the hospital, literally seconds behind Leesa in her ghetto
ass heels.
When we hit the private ward, the one I had arranged and waiting for her…days in
advance she was on the bed – screaming.
“Justin where the fuck where you! Where the fuck was your fucking phone and
what the fuck is that on your head?”
She's in insane pain and she notices my hat? Jesus….
“Are you okay? Are you um…”
“In labour? Au YEAH” she screamed. Well it had taken me over an hour to get to
her. She really looked to be in a LOT of pain.
There was this constant buzz in the room, nurses running in and out that lady
doctor I met that one time coming in ever now and then. All telling us that
everything was “fine” how were things fine? Harri was screaming, I was sweating,
leesa was gagging in the other room…I had no idea how things were “fine”.
Nine hours, nine hours! It was madness, it was killing Harri.
“Ok…Shaharra, you’re at 8 centimetres…”
“8??? Oh for Christ sakes how big is this kid!!” she screamed latching on to my
hand again so hard that I thought she at the very least fractured my fingers.
“Its okay sweetie you can do this…right? We know you can do this!!” I tried to pep
but it wasn’t working.
“Justin” she said through gritted teeth “you’re a man, you got the easy part…an
orgasm don’t talk to me about “doing” things okay….”
I had to keep reminding myself that she was in an insane amount of pain, she
wasn’t herself clearly.
“And for the record, your girlfriend is a psychopath! She isn’t gonna be my baby’s
stepmother!!”
It was after 11am we’d both been up for a long time….she was saying what now?
“Harri I never said…”
“Well good, cause she's not…she's crazy and she has weird eyes…” she rolled her
chestnut brown eyes at me and squeezed my hand again.
“Ugh these contractions are hell…it’s like…UGHHHH god just come out…come out
already!!!”
I had to laugh at her, like the baby was gonna respond to her yelling…
We carried on with the ice chips, the rubbing and the reassurance for another hour.
“Okay Harri, this is it your at ten…we’re ready to push!” the weirdly happy doc said
smiling.
“We? FUCK that…IM ready to push!!” she yelled again. She had a low threshold for
pain I always knew this wouldn’t go well.
“We…what a joke.” She said looking at me again… “Justin im so sorry, im scared!”
“I Know baby but I believe in you like you wouldn’t believe! Now you squeeze onto
my hand as much as you need im here okay?”
“OK…”
“Harri I need you to push! Once big push!” the doctor between her legs sprouted
off.
“I cant it hurts too bad…”
“Come on honey” I encouraged as she began, and then the screaming began
again.
One push after another came and went then the doc said she saw a head…enter
my dumbass moment
“It has a head!!! YES!!!”
Everyone laughed at me, but then again I was too ecstatic to care.
“I wanna see!” I let go of her hand, and looked…then I almost, almost passed out.
How in the sweet name of Jesus was she doing this! “Harri it’s HUGE…how in the
hell are you doing this!!”
“Justin you’re NOT helping here!!” she laughed in pain.
“Push harri push come on a few more….come on…”
She did, and I saw it all…ill admit I saw it all with wobbly legs but still.
“She has hair, harri she has dark hair!!”
“Well what did you expect…a blonde?” she smiled as she pushed again, there was
the head, shoulders…arms…all of it…in a tiny little ball of a blue ish baby.
“Is that normal?” I panicked
“Yes…do you want to cut the cord?
I looked at a relieved harri as the baby was out she nodded quickly and the doc
steered my shaky hands to do the honours…she sucked out the nose, the mouth…
then there it was. A big whale of a cry. She was here…she was born.
I was crying, I was so…shocked. “She’s finally graced us with her presence…” Harri
said as the doctor handed her to me, she was so tiny…
“Yeah…graced…grace…” I looked at harri “that's her second name harri…liberty…
Grace.” I whispered. Holding her between us.
“I love it…I love her…hey little lady…welcome.” She smiled through her tears…as
did I. Id have to admit it was the most moving and wonderfully emotional moment
of my entire life.
“Look what we did…” she took her little hands, she counted the fingers then the
toes…then she opened her eyes.
Big eyelashes and almond shaped eyes just staring at us. Like she knew us, it
was amazing.
“Hi Libby…” Shaharra took her in her arms finally, she looked so drained. She was
crying, sweating and radiant all at once.
“Lil Libby…” I laughed. I got closer to the two of them, and then I looked at them
both. “Thank you.” I said into her ear.
“For what?” she whispered back
“Everything…this…my family.” I kissed her then, more so out of love than any
other time in my life. I was grateful to her, more than she’d ever know.
“Well Mrs Timberlake we’re going to take your daughter to get cleaned up then
we’ll be right back.”
“Wait…Im not…” she looked at me and rolled her eyes playfully, but that name I
could tell she didn’t want to do what she was doing.
“Im not his…wife, we’re not…”
“Oh im sorry my mistake” the nurse blushed “I just assumed, you both seem so…
well im sorry, well have her right back with you in no time just sit and rest.”
“J…go with her please?” I nodded, squeezed her hand and followed the nurse out
the door. I wasn’t about to let my daughter out of my sight.
************************
When they left the room I breathed a sight of relief, then I cried.
She was here, I was a mother…it was so scary and you know what they say about
the pain going away as soon as you see them? Its true…for like five seconds and
you remember what you just pushed out of yourself.
Then with the stitches…man I was in hell.
They moved me into my own private ward; I assume Mr Money bags prearranged
that…I was thankful. The last thing I needed was people gawking.
I slept a little, a lot I think but I didn’t notice it. I was still so tired.
Then the worst thing happened, I woke up to see Justin out the window of my
room, with Libby and Carmen.
What the fuck was she doing here? He noticed me sit up and walked into the room
“Hey you…someone’s been looking for you.” He smiled as she came in after him,
as he handed me MY daughter.
“Hi baby…” she was asleep but still. She was so amazing, her skin lighter than
mine just like I expected, her hair what little bits she had – dark. She had my
nose, his eye shape…my chin. From what I could tell anyway.
“How are you Harri?” Carmen asked, still the dirty look of guilt over her face. Bitch.
“Im fine, no thanks to you…you realise he could have missed this had you gotten
your way?”
“Harri...” Justin began “she knows, we all know…but she just wanted to see her.
She knows she's been wrong, but this is a happy occasion and I won’t have
anyone ruin our daughters first few hours on earth now shhh!” man when did he
get so bossy.
“Fine….” I cooed over her again. Then my mom came in, leesa and kali. All
carrying gifts and balloons and flowers, it was then I looked over at the rest of the
room it was covered in pink roses, balloons, shit was down.
“You did this?” I asked him, he just smiled. Carmen looks as uncomfortable as
hell, well good enough for the whore.
“Momma!” I smiled. She laughed and rushed to see the baby, of course she at
once started fussing over her, I hadn’t got her wrapped right, her head…blah de
blah.
“Omygod, Harri can you believe something so gross got you this!!!” Leesa gasped.
“Hey now…” Justin butted in “the sex was not…”
“Justin she means the birth dude!!!” Carmen snapped.
“Oh yeah I knew that…” we all just looked at him knowingly.
“Okay y’all there are WAAAAY to many women in here for me alone…” he
surrendered
“Justin” I offered “you don’t have to stay here, im sure you need some sleep…at
the very least some good food…you should go…We’ll be fine.”
He looked defiant “Naw I wanna stay…” but the bags under his eyes spoke
volumes.
“Baby” as I said that Carmen I swear she flinched. “You need to sleep because I
intend on taking full advantage of you once we get home.” I know that could have
been taken any number of ways…Carmen knew that too and simply glared at me.
I wanted to laugh it was so easy to wind her up.
“Now go…” he came over and kissed the baby’s head once, kissed me on the
cheek and left.
“Now, baby how bad was it?” my mom inquired. “It wasn’t so bad, I mean yes it
was hell but Justin was a lot of help! I really don’t know what I would have done
with out him, he's been amazing.” I know I was gushing but he really was. It was
then Kali butted in.
“honey I know you must be feeling really good right now cause your boy is here
and you’re the centre of his attention an all…but do not get any ideas.”
“What? What ideas?” I shrugged innocently.
“You KNOW what woman, he aint yours…He's hers. He's gonna be leaving to go
home to her at night remember that.”
Why was she intent on ruining my high? “Oh and I called Adam, he's arranging it
so he can come home in a week, its three weeks earlier than he had planned.”
“Hold up, I didn’t ask you to call him…”
“Well I thought you’d want him to know…you do want that right, he is your
boyfriend isn’t he?”
Technically…
“Yes, thank you…its just I was gonna do it…that's all...”
why was I acting this way, I knew Justin wasn’t mine, hell I saw him leave with her
just now and it didn’t bother me, what bothered me was that kiss.
The kiss he gave me when I delivered. It wasn’t just a thank you kiss, it wasn’t
just an “im so happy kiss” it was an “I love you and want you” kiss, I felt his
tongue so I can confirm that.
It confused me so much. I didn’t know what to think of it after that.
Two days I spent in the hospital, not unusual. When it came time for home though
it was drama all the way. The press had been notified for the goings on and as you
can imagine there was a hoopla that rivalled no other. From the window alone I
saw at least fifty dudes with cameras, news vans the works. It was scary, it was
pissing Justin off.
I never before heard so many swear words come from a mans mouth in such a
short space of time.
“you fucking pay people a LOT of fucking money to keep this fuckin shit from
happening, and look what fucking happens? It happens any way! FUCK IT!”
“J…its fine, they don’t know we’re home” I assured settling into my appartment
after being whisked from the hospital by his security.
“We’re all okay and there aren’t any pictures…she's fine.” I handed him a beer,
settling down myself.
“I know it just fucking pisses me off that's all…I didn’t want her to be a part of this
circus.”
“Neither did I….but she's yours. Its understandable that there's interest you
know?” I tried to reason with him.
“This is so unfair to her, not even a week old and-“if wasn’t mistaken he started to
well up.
I walked over to him and offered him a hug. He took it, burying his head in my
neck. Man it felt good, too good.
BAAAAAD idea, that's all I kept thinking. Then I felt his lips at my neck and after
nine months and two days of not getting any, you can imagine how sensitive my
senses were.
“J…”
“What…” his lips moved from my neck to my chin, then to my lips again, I just
couldn’t handle it…
And just like that, as if we’d trained her…Liberty Grace let a not so graceful whale
from her new little lungs.
It broke us apart in an awkward glancing match “Ill get her” we both said in
unison “No ill…Ill do it.” I ran practically to her crib.
“You just saved your mommies life little one.” I told her as I took her to the living
room.
He was sitting on the couch cell in hand…he looked so miserable.
“Justin this has to stop.”
“What has too…” yeah like he didn’t know.
“You lippy man, all lips and kissing and LIPS!!” I exclaimed “It has to stop” before
you make me regret all of this whole friendship thing…
“Why?”
“You’re with someone else, sure she's insane but she's your girl…and I…”
“You’re what?”
“Im with…Adam, and we can’t do this, its not healthy we’re supposed to be grown
about this SHE is our main priority now…” sure I sounded harsh but we were
parents now, we had partners- I think. We had to respect that….didn’t we?
Author's Chapter Notes:
Happy New Year!
Muah!
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
