“Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
“-George Bernard
“Where’s Justin?” Janice asked, looking annoyingly flawless as usual, without hardly trying.
Just dressed in a simple black dress that looked like Audrey Hepburn’s dress from Breakfast At Tiffany’s, which had a slit that hit just above her knees and some diamonds strung around her elegant neck, she looked like Miss America waiting to be crowned.
All three of us were sitting in Justin’s entertainment room, where we’d been waiting for his primadonna ass to hurry up and finish getting ready.
“Same place he always is.” I muttered back, already not in the best of moods because of way corseted fit of dress.
“Lemme take guess.” Richard said. “Standing in front of the mirror?”
“Of course.” I sighed with a roll of my eyes. “Where else would the conceited one be?”
“I’m not conceited,” Justin said, finally stepping out of the bathroom dressed in a slightly opened popped collar black shirt and jeans. He did look good, but I’d been waiting for going on a hour and that just didn’t look like it should have taken that long to put together. “I’m just…”
“In love with yourself.”
Smiling warmly, he walked over to me and draped his arm over my shoulder pulling me close to his side. “Well that makes two of us, I guess.” He said, giving me one long lingering kiss followed by two quick ones. “You look…incredible.” He said, taking me by the hand and forcing me to spin around in front of him as he made admiring noises.
I was about to roll my eyes and redirect the conversation away from me, when Richard chimed in. “Yeah, you do look delicious in that dress. I might have to fight Justin for you before the night is over.”
“Bring it on, bitch.” Justin said, cracking his neck and raising his dukes as he bounced around on his toes.
“C’mon, champ.” I laughed, taking Justin’s hand in mine. “And stop making me laugh before you mess around get me killed because this dress is only giving me two options: breath or laugh.”
“Okay, I’m too flyy to fighting right now anyways.” Justin said, still holding my hand as he strutted out the door George Jefferson style.
“So you are trying to kill me.” I wheezed out a laugh.
When we were all seated, Justin and I facing Richard and Janice, in the stretch limo Justin had insisted on using after finding out that I’d never been in one, I asked, "I'm not going to have to walk on the red carpet with you or anything? I mean, it's just a birthday party...so it's not going to be a lot of hoopla, right?"
"Hoopla?" He laughed. "No more than usual. But red carpet? Of course. Paris wouldn’t have it any other way. And where there are celebs there are the parasites looking to leech on for their next meal ticket via some ridiculous picture."
“Spoken like a true cynic.” I laughed, kissing him briefly. “I love it when you talk like that. Turns me on. Tell me more, big daddy.” I purred, running my hands up and down his chest.
“When Bush was re-elected, I knew we were going to be in trouble, I just wasn’t creative enough to imagine all the new ways he’d fuck the country over.”
“Mmmm.” I purred again, climbing into his lap.
“And the democrats have this let just the republicans fuck up thing going on, hoping that it’ll help them in the next election because they don’t have to the balls to take it any other way. So chances are they’re gonna get their asses served to them again and the whole country will go straight to hell in a nice little conservative handbasket.”
“Oohh, yeah. Oooh, baby.” I moaned, eyes closed.
“Y’all are…” Richard started, with a crooked grin and shake of his head. “Wow, just wow.”
We all laughed at that for awhile. I had started to move back to my original position by the window, when Justin decided to wrap his arms around me, holding me in place on his lap. “Don’t hate me, cause you ain’t me.” Justin said to Richard.
Richard just rolled his eyes with a small laugh that left me wondering what he was really thinking.
“I think y’all are cute together.” Janice chimed in with a smile. “You’re just like puppies together.”
“Puppies?” I frowned. I’d been called a lot of things in my life, but a puppy was never one of them. “Is that your way of calling us lil’ bitches?”
Richard and Justin laughed, Janice didn’t.
“No, silly.” She said, shaking her blonde head. “Puppies are just always all over each other. That’s what I meant.”
“Yeah, I can see it now.” Richard said, nodding in agreement, watching Justin and I with his head tilted to the side like we were a slanted picture. “Y’all are cute puppies.” He grinned.
Now I was offended. I don’t know if it was meant to offend, but if it was”congratulations, mission accomplished. It coming from Janice was one thing, but Richard? My Richard?
I sighed loudly. Puppies weren’t desirable, at least not in more than a scratch behind the ears kind of way. And if he did like them more than that, then we might as well call this deal off right now because I don’t foresee me growing another pair of legs and floppy ears anytime soon.
The limo was silent for all of four seconds, before Janice did what she did best: get excited and announce it to the world.
"Well, I don’t know about y’all but I'm so excited!" Janice said, her voice bursting with energy as she smiled brightly. "I can't wait to walk on the red carpet. I've always wanted to do that, so I'm gonna work it." She giggled with a snap of her perfectly manicure fingers.
"I bet you will." I muttered, leaning toward the window and staring out of it boredly. I hated when she did that. Got all hyper bubbly, giggling and shit”guys loved that.
Richard, who was cheesing right along with her, probably liked girls like her. The gigglers.
I don't giggle.
Justin nudged me in the side, until I turned back toward him.
Frowning, I said, "What do you want?"
"You," He said, pulling his mouth into a grin with his fingers. "To smile."
He's such a weirdo sometimes, but I obliged anyways. Pushing my lips up as far as they would go so that my eyes were so squinty that they might as well have been closed, I said, "Happy now?"
He smiled, shaking his head as he pulled me over to him, forcing the gap I'd previously created to be closed. Kissing me on my left temple, he whispered, "You can be fierce too, y'know."
Scoffing, I rolled my eyes, tempted to slink back over to the window again. "Unless you're Tyra Banks, or one of those crazy fashion police on E! 'fierce' should be eliminated from your vocabulary." I said, trying not to notice the fact that Janice and Richard were looking annoyingly adorable laughing together about whatever it was that they were talking about. Taking his hand, I traced the lines on it with my index finger, as a distraction.
He just laughed and nodded, sinking back into the seat and pulling me more against his chest.
Neither of us said anything for a while, both of us just sat dumbly watching as the two people we wanted started to realize that maybe they wanted each other.
"I knew this was a dumb idea." I grumbled.
When he didn't immediately interject with his usual optimistic rebuttal, I looked up at him from where I was leaning against his chest.
Sighing, he nodded. "So I've heard."
“Are you excited?” Justin asked, as soon as we were out of the limo.
There was a red carpet just like he’d said there be and I’d already sat in the car, watching celebrities like Donald Trump, Marc Bower, Steve-O and some other random designers that I’d never heard of walk the red carpet. Richard and Janice were already inside, but they didn’t have to face the red carpet, much to Janice’s disappointment. I would have easily switched positions with her and just walked in the back way too. But unfortunately I was escorting the celebrity so I had to the limelight route in front of the screaming psychos (aka paparazzi).
“More like scared shitless.”
Laughing, he said, “Well, don’t be.”
I rolled my eyes. “Easy said.”
“Easy done.” He said, pushing me forward now. “These people…are just people. Nothing to be afraid of.”
“Yeah,” I scoffed. “Just people who see more money in an hour than I’d see in a month. Just people who can get a haircut and that’s breaking news. Just people who…”
“Okay,” he laughed, cutting in. “So they aren’t regular Joes, but they won’t bite.”
“Because that would be breaking their low carb, low calorie, what’s-the-point-in-eating-anymore diets.”
“In that case,” he chuckled. “Sometimes they will bite. They just won’t swallow.”
“And I bet you know that from personal experience, right?” I laughed, shaking my head.
“And what if I did?” He said, coming up behind me now. Wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him, he said, “Would you be jealous?”
“Insanely.” I said dryly. “Just the thought of it makes me wanna punch something.” I added, hitting him in the chest.
Doubling over, he groaned, “Oww, shit. Why’d you do that?”
“I told you I wanted to punch something.” I shrugged with a small smile. “You were just lucky enough to be the closest.”
“Lucky huh? Well…”
Cutting him off, I said, “Well, anyways, can we go inside already? I dunno about you, but I’m ready to get snubbed.” I said, taking his hand, linking our fingers and dragging him toward the entrance.
But being Justin, he couldn’t just do what I said.
“Before we go in, I need you to take a deep breath and relax.”
"I didn't even go to prom, so this..." I gestured toward the dwindling people on the red carpet, the paparazzi screaming and shoving and the flashing bulbs when I thought I saw Prince and did a double-take. "Oh my goodness, was that Prince?!” I screeched, trying to contain my giddiness, but damn, it was Prince!
Laughing, Justin turned in the direction I’d been looking. “I dunno. I must have missed him.”
“Yeah, he just slipped in, he was moving kinda fast. Oh my goodness, I just saw Prince.” I laughed, shaking my head. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. So this is just kind of a big deal to me."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, I mean, I realize you go to these things all the time, but for us regular folks the only time we get to walk on a red carpet is when we spill red Kool-Aid on the carpet."
He shook his head as he chuckled. "I meant, are you serious that you didn't go to prom."
"Yeah, I'm serious." I shrugged, wondering why this was so shocking to him. I bet he didn't go to his prom either. But then again, I'm sure he didn't go because he was overseas singing and dancing for German teenieboppers. Which is just slightly better than what I did instead: sit on my ass on the couch, eating chocolate and watching 'When Harry Met Sally' until my brother barged in and kicked me out the family room.
I frowned when I realized he was still staring at me with that 'aww poor Fionna' look in his eyes. "It's not a big deal, life goes on." I shrugged. "Can we go in?"
Unfortunately, he was still too busy staring at me to move. Damn, was it that pathetic that I didn't go?
Shit, if I had of known he'd act like this I would have just gone ahead and lied about it. See, what happens when you tell the truth?
"Why didn't you go?" He asked, leaning against a wall of the building we’d yet to enter looking pretty damn comfortable.
Shifting my weight from foot to foot, I sighed. Comfort and me weren't getting along right now. "Why didn't you go to yours?" I asked back instead, crossing my arms against my chest.
He smiled, like he expected me to say that. And so what if he did, didn't mean that he knew me. He didn't know anything about me.
"You're being defensive." He said.
"Only because you're being annoying."
His smile grew a fraction of an inch. Fuck, I need to stop being so predictable. I'm making this too easy for him.
I chewed my bottom lip for a minute before releasing it with a sigh. "You wanna know why I didn't go?" I asked, stabbing him with my index finger on every other word.
He nodded and I cursed him inwardly.
Walking away from him a few steps before turning back to face him abruptly I sighed again. "Okay, you wanna know why. Fine, here's why." I said, before pausing a moment, my eyes falling to my pump covered feet. "I was going to go. But then..."
"Then what?"
"I decided I was too cool for that high school bullshit."
Laughing, he said, "So in other words, you couldn't find a date."
I definitely didn't like how confidently he said that, like that could be the only reason. "For your information, I did have a date."
"One you weren't related to?"
Punching him in his arm, I rolled my eyes. "Jackass."
"So is that a yes?" He chuckled, rubbing the spot on his arm that I hit. Growing up the only girl in a family of three boys, I'd learned to punch, fast and hard.
"Of course, that's a yes. He was one of those dumb jock boys. I don't know, he asked me to go. I had planned on not going..."
"But then when he asked you, you were so caught up in your 'She's All That' moment that you said yes anyways."
Punching him in the same spot on his arm, I said, "Who's telling this story? You or me?"
He frowned now, rubbing his arm again. I knew it had to hurt that time, which made me smile. "That's what I thought. Anyways, like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. So the dumb jock asked me out." I said, watching his mouth open and close without a word coming out. I smiled and said, "Do you have a question?"
"No."
"Are you afraid of lil' ol' me?"
"Lil' is hardly a word that can ever be used to describe you." He laughed. That is, until I slugged him in that same spot on his arm again. "I mean, in the sense that you're tall. Damn." He frowned.
"Anyways," I said, rolling my eyes. "So he asked me. His name was Justin. Dumb name, I know. So he asked me, I said yes...why, I don't know. I bought an expensive dress...let my mom doll me all up. And then..."
"He got hit by a bus and couldn't go with you."
"No, even better. And stop interrupting me." I said, raising my fist without touching him this time. Seeing him flinch was as good as hitting him. Almost. "An hour after the prom had already started, an hour after my dad had given me his it's okay to be a loser speech, an hour after my brothers had finished taking turns making fun of me and making sure to let me know that it's really not okay to be a loser, he called me. Drunk, mind you. To tell me that he was already there and the day before he'd decided that he'd rather just go alone."
"That's it?"
I wanted to hit him, but I resisted. "He said he would rather go by himself, then be seen with me."
"He didn't say that." Justin frowned, like he knew this other Justin personally. "Did he?"
"No, actually his exact words were ‘I’m so sorry, but I think caught the flu’ to which he added a few weak ass coughs, even though I could hear the voices and music bumping in the background."
"Well, you said he was a dumb jock."
"Actually, he was one of those annoyingly brilliant brainiacs..."
"So he was a stupid nerd." Justin shrugged off.
"If you would stop interrupting me, I would have said, he's one of those annoyingly brilliant brainiacs who was also the QB and class president."
He looked genuinely stumped then. "So why did he ask you in the first place?"
I just stared at him for a long time, wondering if that was a serious question. Why did he ask me? Why did he ask me?--like I was so far beneath him that he should have hardly noticed me, let alone considering me date-worthy.
So what if he was smart, popular and sorta attractive...if you liked the tall dark and ruggedly handsome type. So what if he had just broken up with his head of the cheer-freak happy go lucky bimbo squad of a girlfriend. So what if he asked me to go with him, only to infuriate said cheer-freak. So what if I was very possibly (very realistically) just a tactic in his scheme for revenge against the cheer-freak who'd broken his heart just days before.
So the fuck what.
Annoyed that I didn't have a good comeback to that, I just shook my head, grumbling to myself about how much I hated Justins as I walked away as fast as I could in three inch heels, which my six foot body was teetering precariously on.
"I didn't mean it like that, Fi." He said, catching up to my hurried steps. I didn't really know where I was going, I just knew that I needed to go. "Of course, he would ask you."
"Yeah, of course." I laughed bitterly, my voice cracking slightly as I choked back tears.
"Hey, I called you Fi and you didn't punch me." He joked with a smile, his hand lingering close to mine like he was considering taking it in his--but knew better.
He was joking and I was trying to decide how much I wanted this deal to work, so then I could decide if punching him again would be okay.
Spying some of the stalkerazzi, noticing the fact that Justin had yet to enter the building, I decided that starting a fight with Justin at this very moment probably wasn't for the best. All in good time though, I suppose.
Forcing a smile on my face, I said, "We should probably go in, before Richard and Janice start worrying over where we are."
"Well, we are supposed to be a couple, so we could be...” He trailed off with a smile. “Tied up, right now."
While he was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, I rolled my eyes and just walked away.
And that's when I realized I had really royally fucked up. Normally, when I say things like that, she'd have some kind of sarcastic ball-busting comment. But silence?
That's dangerous.
So I let her go her way and went my own, deciding that I'd catch up with her later.
We keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs
When I came out tonight, I didn't think I would be taking any tests. But I suppose that even though I'm not in school anymore, pop quizzes aren't completely out of the question.
And we've been in between the days for years
And I know that when I see you I'm going to die
So here's my test.
My ex is a few yards away, smiling and grinding with another guy who looks strangely familiar yet he's not the backstabbing prick (commonly known as Wade) and I thought I was over her. Over it, whatever it was that we had when we were together. Cheating time after time after motherfucking time should have permanently washed away any potential for leftover residual feelings for her that I might have felt if we hadn't ended it the way we had.
I know I'm going to want you and you know why
It's going to kill me to see you with the next guy
But the problem is your heart doesn't understand the world the same way your head does.
My head understands once a cheater, always a cheater and I don't need her, but what I do need is to move on, which I thought I've been doing pretty successfully. Where the problem comes in is when my heart looks at the situation and sees her for what she used to be, could still be if it hadn't been for Wade and this new nameless gyrating son of a bitch.
'Cause I'm the most gorgeously jealous kind of ex-boy
And that's when the jealousy kicks in.
But I should have thought of that before we kissed...
Britney was still dancing with the new guy, I'm sure she hadn't noticed me yet and I wanted to keep it that way. So tell me why instead of walking in the opposite direction in search of Janice, or Fionna, or anyone else, did my feet lead me straight to her? She shouldn't have this kind of power over me, but I feel like punching this wife beater, trucker hat wearing dude in his goofy ass face. But I'm not supposed to care and I'm not supposed to be standing here, just a few feet away from her, pretending like I didn't know she was there all the while hoping that she noticed me.
I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-boyfriend
Realizing that I must look like a total idiot just standing out in the middle of the dance floor, I forced myself to head over to the bar, figuring sooner or later she'd come this way.
"You're such a dork, you know that?"
Turning around, I tried to frown but my lips only gave up a grin instead. "I heard dork was in this season."
She laughed her little nose wrinkling laugh, before moving up to stand fully beside me. She smelled like lavender, just like she always did. Just being this close to her brought back memories that made me want to do things that weren't appropriate for the time or the place.
I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-boyfriend
"Why didn't you just come over and say hello?"
"I didn't know you were here." I shrugged, before moving forward to lean against the bar.
"You always were a horrible liar." She smirked, leaning her back against the bar.
"Who's the new guy?" I said, nodding over to the guy who was either trying to break dance or was having some kind of seizure.
She sighed and didn't say anything for a moment or two. "A dancer. I think he worked with you on your 'Like I Love You' video."
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
I knew he looked familiar. "So Wade's been demoted?"
"I never was really into him. He was just..." She shrugged. "Just someone to pass the time with for awhile. A fling."
I turned away from her before she could make eye contact and tell me what little I had meant to her too.
I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-boyfriend
"You know, Justin I've been thinking..." She started, pausing to lick her lips, her hands navigating through the near darkness of the room to trace the tops of my pants. "I've been thinking about us. And..."
Guess I should have thought of that before we kissed
“This place is huge, it’s like you need friggin’ GPS to figure out how to get from back to the front.” Fionna laughed, appearing out of nowhere and instantly sliding in between Britney and I. Without acknowledging Britney’s presence, she’d definitely managed to put up strict ‘he’s mine back off bitch’ boundaries to which Britney simply rolled her eyes at, flipped back her blonde dyed hair and sauntered off probably in search of her hillbilly break dancing date. And I’ve got to say, I was a little…relieved.
”I leave you alone for two seconds and look at you.” She said, shaking her head as her lips curled up in disgust. “The little slut magnet.”
“Do you know who that was?”
“Does she know who I am?”
“No.”
“Then that makes us even.” She shrugged.
I just laughed at that, before pulling her into a quick tight hug. She smelled like cheap soap, but I liked it. “Thanks.”
In reply, she pulled back her arm and slugged me in the arm. Hard.
"What's that for?" I frowned.
"You're lucky that's all I'm going to do.” She said, before linking arms with the arm she’d just abused. “Now be useful and introduce me to somebody."
“Okay let’s go find the birthday girl.”
“Birthday girl? Whoa, whoa…you mean Paris?”
Laughing at her shock, I nodded, “Yeah.”
“As in Paris ‘that’s hot’ Hilton?”
“Uh-duh.”
“You can’t just spring her on me.” She said, looking more flustered than I’ve ever seen her before. I’d expected her to be calm bored…you know, like she always is. Who knew she could be normal and get starstuck, even over someone like Paris Hilton.
“We need to work up to her. Start off with something slow and easy. Isn’t Todd Bridges around here somewhere?” She asked, looking around the room as if she was actually going to spot him in the crowd.
Laughing, I said, “You’re so wrong for that. Todd is cool people. But no, he’s not here.”
“Okay,” She said taking a deep breath. “But how do I look?”
Frowning, I said, “You’re a fan of Paris?”
Starting to look more like the Fionna I was used to, she frowned. “No. I mean, I watched ‘Simple Life’ occasionally but that’s about it. I’ve just never met anyone famous before.”
Scoffing, I pointed to myself.
She just rolled her eyes and said, “You don’t count.”
“Thanks.” I sighed. “You know you met Britney Spears a few minutes ago.”
Her forehead rippled in confusion. “Who?”
“Britney Spears.” I repeated and when she still looked confused I added, “Hit me baby one time.”
Frowning, she said, “And what does she do? Promote domestic abuse?”
“She’s a singer. Pop star.”
“Oh,” she shrugged, sounding extremely unimpressed. “Well if she’s not Mariah Carey then she can’t be that great.”
“You seriously don’t know who she is?”
“I know.” She said, rolling her eyes. “I was just messing with you. I knew it was her then too.”
“So why are you so hyped about Paris?”
“I’m not hyped. And technically I never met Britney. So this is my first real celebrity encounter and as lame as it sounds…it’s cool.”
Again, I pointed to myself.
And again she rolled her eyes and said, “You don’t count.”
“Fine. Let’s go find her so you can get your first real celebrity encounter under your belt.” I said, pulling her along behind me as I weaved through the crowd to the VIP section, where I would have been anyway if it weren’t for Fionna’s insistence that she would rather not go up there because she’d had her fill of snobs in high school, which really makes me wonder why she came to L.A. in the first place then.
Finding Paris was looking all sparkling in her blue slinky dress and tiara in the midst of a large group of people who were laughing at something she’d just said, I weaved my way straight to her. “Hey, good looking.” I said, moving in for a hug, making sure not to squeeze tightly because I always afraid she might break on me or something.
“Hey you!” She giggled, her long skinny arms around wrapping around me. “You look hot.”
“I try, I try.” I grinned, popping my own collar and could just feel Fionna rolling her eyes at all of this. “A little birdie told me it was your birthday today. So happy birthday, girl. How’s life been treating you lately?”
“Fabulous.” She giggled again, flipping back her long blonde locks. “So who’s the girl you’re hiding behind your back? She better not be my present because you know I don’t swing that way.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “No, no, this my girlfriend, Fionna.” I said, surprised at how natural that sounded as I pushed Fionna forward, even though she was acting like she was chained to her spot.
“Your girlfriend, huh?” Paris said, eyeing Fionna carefully without a hint of a smile. “Well you did good girl. And damn, if I had of known I was going to have some strong competition, I would have thought a little more about my outfit.” She laughed, smiling, her eyes twinkling like the diamonds around her neck.
When I got over my initial shock that Paris could say more than ‘that’s hot’ and was actually saying something as wild as that I was giving her a run for her hotel-rich papa’s money, all I could think to say was, “Wow, you’re even skinner in person.”
“Well…” She trailed off with a frown as if she wasn’t sure whether that was supposed to be a compliment or not.
And it wasn’t. A compliment, that is.
But at the same time it wasn’t supposed to be an insult either. “I mean, I-I didn’t mean it in the sense that you’re not eating enough. I heard the eating disorder rumors, but I didn’t believe it. I just figured some bitc”I mean, some women are just naturally stick thin. Not to say that a burger would kill ya but…”
Her frown had deepened by this point and my flustered lips couldn’t find enough words that could pull me out of this hole so instead I just stopped. Stopped talking, shut my damn mouth and smiled, until she rolled her eyes and strode away.
“Smooth.” Justin said, laughing as he shook his head. “Real smooth.”
“Shut up.” I frowned at him. “It’s your damn fault that happened in the first place.”
“My fault? Did I tell you to tell the woman she has an eating disorder on her birthday?” He said, rolling his eyes with a half smile. “No, that was all you. You and the brilliance of your social skills.”
“I hate you.”
“Good thing,” he said, casually putting his arm over my shoulder. “Today’s opposite day then.”
“Opposite day? Are you serious?” I laughed, shaking my head at him. “Lawd, hangin’ around you is like being in second grade all over again.”
“Oh, yeah?” He grinned softly. “Well, I’m rubber you’re glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
“Before I lose anymore brain cells from this conversation. Let’s go find the ones we’re supposed to be making jealous enough to date our retarded asses.”
After I’d st-stuttered out several attempts to get Janice to understand that I was trying to ask her dance, Fionna so kindly decided to stop her snickering long enough to translate my words back into English.
“Oh, you want to dance?” Janice grinned, turning to face me again.
I just nodded, feeling stupid that I couldn’t even trust my tongue to get out one word right around her.
She glanced at Fionna for a few seconds as if to ask permission, when Fionna shooed the two of us away in response, Janice finally took my outstretched hand.
A slow jam was playing causing the mass of bodies to sway gently close together. I had led Janice out to the middle of the floor, when I happened to glance back at our table just as Richard and Fionna began to stroll away, hand and hand, steadily grinning at each other.
I watched as they found a spot on the dance floor, only a few couples away from where I was. Richard had stopped walking suddenly and flared his arms out to her. She stopped moving too, but just stared at him. Beckoning her over to him with his waggling fingers, she must have finally realized what he was trying to get her to do because she started grinning and shaking her head as if to say no. But his fingers just kept right on waggling and she kept right on shaking her head and not moving. Until she sighed, rolled her eyes and turned her back to him as if she was walking away completely.
Running faster than I’ve seen her run before”not that I’ve ever seen her run at all though”she took a running leap at him and he instead of looking confused as I would have, he gripped her around her waist and actually had to the run to try to lift her above her head like they were re-creating a scene in Dirty Dancing.
But he didn’t quite get her head that much above his own before his arms gave out and she came crashing down on top on him. This is when I expected her to get up and either curse him out or at least punch him for dropping her like that in the middle of all those people. But instead, she simply stayed where she was on the ground laying on top of him, laughing and when she did hit, it was playful”the smile that had sprung on her face since they started talking at the table about random things like Picasso’s blue period and Hilary Clinton’s chance of winning the national election if she tried was still there and going strong like it was drawn on with permanent marker.
“Go get your girl.”
I frowned, wondering why that voice sounded so familiar and so close. Looking down at finding that Janice was still in my arms, my face relaxed back into smile. How did I forget she was there? I asked, “What did you say?”
“Go get your girl.” She repeated with her usual perfectly white smile in place. “You’ve been eyeing those two ever since they stood up and headed for the dance floor.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but was cut off with a wave of her hand as she dismissed my excuses. “Go get her.” She persisted, pushing me in Fionna and Richard’s direction.
I didn’t move. This wasn’t how it was supposed to play out. I was supposed by like Richard was with Fionna right now, I was supposed to be dipping her and swinging her over my hip all crazy like, having fun, getting to know her better. Realizing I was doing it again, by paying attention to the wrong people, I glanced by at Janice.
“Go,” She mouthed with a roll of her eyes.
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
I had no idea what Richard was saying. I could barely hear his voice over the music and what I did hear was every other fifth word, which amounted to a bunch of nothing. So I was taking a page from Janice’s playbook and merely giggling.
I felt stupid and he probably thought I was stupid. But that’s not going to stop me from enjoying being in his arms, even if that meant forcing myself to move in a way that could only loosely be called dancing. I’m sure if Diddy could see me, he’d want to take the black off my skin right about now. But Richard didn’t seem to mind. To be quite honest, he didn’t have much room to talk on that subject anyways. So instead of taking this dancing business seriously, we wound up instead just twirling and swirling around, laughing and apologizing every two minutes to the annoyed dancers we’d accidentally elbowed or run into.
Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I figured one of the people around us had been hit one too many times. But I was still too happy from spending time with Richard to care about the possible fight that could break loose, unfortunately when I turned around to face the tapper it wasn’t someone looking for a fight.
My smile fell at the sight of Justin, looking like he was trying to cut in. What the hell is wrong with him?
“I thought you don’t dance.” He said, leaning in so close that I could smell is cologne, so close that his lips brushed my ear at the end of every other syllable.
Everything she does is beautiful
“I don’t. This isn’t dancing. It’s shuffling awkwardly to the beat.” I frowned at him, watching as Richard said something that I guess was excusing him from this conversation and then proceeding to stroll away.
Everything she does is right
“You see that! You see what you did!” I cried, hitting him over and over and over in the same spot on his damn ripped stomach, which meant I should probably hit him harder to make it really hurt. “Are you confused or something? Because I think are you. You see we came up with this deal. We date each other to get each other’s friends. My friend is Janice, the pretty blonde who you walked away from to keep me from your friend, Richard, the handsome black Brian Austin Green…”
Cause it’s you and me
He didn’t say anything for awhile”just stood there smiling at me. “Brian Austin Green?” he laughed. “If that’s who you think he looks like then maybe it’s a good thing that I stepped in when I did.”
And all of the people
With nothing to do
“You’re hilarious, but I’d probably find this even more funny if you weren’t standing here saying it to me.”
Nothing to lose
“Then how would you know that it was so funny if you couldn’t hear me say it?”
And it's you and me
Dense and annoying…qualities that have gotten people killed since the beginning of time. “In other words, leave.”
“Then you’d be standing by yourself in the middle of the floor.”
“Brilliant deduction skills there, Sherlock. But why would I want that because standing with you in the middle of the floor is so much more appealing?” I said, rolling my eyes, before I started to head off in search of the one who’d gotten away.
When he didn’t say anything in response I took that as a sign that I could leave without much hassle. Apparently that was wrong.
“Dance with me.” He said, holding onto my wrist now. “Please.”
Scanning the crowd, which had grown, I couldn’t see which way Richard had gone off to. “Go dance with Janice.”
He didn’t say anything for a long while, so I made a move to leave again. Only there was one small problem, he was still holding onto my wrist. Staring at his grip on my arm, I said, “You can let go now.”
“Does that mean you’ll dance with me?”
“Are you just deaf or dumb?”
“I’m whatever you want me to be, baby.”
“Well, I want you to be gone…yet, here you are.” I said, gesturing to the fact that he was indeed still standing there. “Still holding onto me.”
“Do you want me to hold you closer? Is that way you’re so cranky?”
And before I could say yay or nay (take a wild guess which one it would have been), he pulled me flush against him. My hand landing on the opened part of his shirt, skimming his smooth tanned skin that was glistening in a light layer of sweat.
“You’re sweating.” I said, feeling dumb the moment that came out.
But he seemed not to care that I’d just a Captain Obvious moment and missed his opportunity to make fun of me when he instead just shrugged as his arms wrapped around my waist. “That’s what hot people do.”
Trying to ignore that fact that I’d enjoyed the flexing of the muscles in his arms as my hands moved up to his shoulders, I said. “Your modesty is astounding.”
We stayed like this for a half song. With me in his arms, we swayed slowly to the beat even though it was an up-tempo song that had everyone around us getting damn near biblical on the floor. But being there with my arms around him, my head on his shoulder, a finger or two playing in his short curls I had to admit, this wasn’t the hell I had thought it was going to be.
And all of the people
And I don't know why
But he wasn’t Richard and I didn’t come here and agree to this stupid deal to be standing here dancing with Justin. Yet for those few minutes, he’d completely distracted me. The bastard.
“You know this isn’t a slow song right?” I said, feeling the need to put some distant between us as I pulled back just even to stare into his baby blues.
I can't keep my eyes off of you
He didn’t say anything for while, he just watched me and continued to keep us swaying. After awhile a small smile cracked the corners of his lips. “I know,” he finally said with a nod. “But dancing slow with you felt right. What’s the rush when we got all night?”
What a grade A cheeseball. I thought, but for once I kept the comment to myself and instead just went with the flow. I didn’t know where Richard was anyways. So like he said, what’s the rush when we got all night?
“Last stop! All boozers off!”
Groaning, I woke up finding myself slumped over in the back of what I guessed was the limo with something heavy stretched out cross my chest. Opening my eyes wider, I realized we were in front of my house. How did we get here already?
Last thing I remember is challenging Fionna to a drink off, thinking it wouldn’t take much to drink her under the table. Ten shots later, I was wasted and she was downing her eleventh and screaming how she’d kicked my ass to anyone who would listen. Or really anyone with working ears.
“Why are you yelling?” the weight on my chest grumbled, pushing itself up only to slump over against the window. But with the street lights falling over the form, I realized it was Fionna, looking like she was gonna…
“Oh, shit, don’t do that in here!”
I didn’t recognize that voice, so I assumed that was the driver. He looked pissed. I laughed.
“Hurry up, J.” Richard commanded. “Get out. We gotta get her back to her place before she gets sick again.”
I never did like people rushing me, especially when they had three faces. Frowning, I closed my eyes to try to erase at least on of the faces. “She’s not gonna make it through L.A. traffic.”
Sighing, Janice said, “Unfortunately I think he’s right.”
“So then what do you wanna do?” Richard said talking to Janice.
They were discussing us like we weren’t fully functioning adults, which we weren’t but I still didn’t like being discounted to my face. “She can stay with me.” I said, stumbling out of the limo, tripping over rug and falling out.
“Oh, be careful.” Janice said, making moves toward me.
“Guess you shoulda told him that before he swan dived onto the cement.” Fionna laughed.
Turning to face her from my spot on the sidewalk, I said, “That puke looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”
“I hate you.” She slurred before hiccupping as she stumbled toward me before stopping to hold her head. “Make it stop. I wanna get off.”
I just laughed at her, even though I was on the same merry-go-round that she was.
“Do you think it would be a good idea to leave them alone together” Janice said, her eyes bouncing between Fionna who was still holding her head and me who was too lazy and too tired to be bothered with getting up from the sidewalk at the moment. “…like this.”
“They’re already dating,” Richard shrugged. “So it’s not like some drunken sex would kill them.”
“Oh, god, I’m gonna be sick.” Fionna said as if the thought so repulsed her. And apparently it really did, because once again, she was puking on my front lawn.
“Hey, how bout you stop discussing my sex life and help her inside before she kills all of my grass with that shit?” I said, staring at Richard before tossing him my keys.
As he was helping her into my house, I distinctly saw her raise her hand and give me the happy finger before Richard could get her fully into the house.
Laughing, I thought, who would have thought the night would be ending like this?
…or at least I thought I was just thinking it.
Hearing giggling, I turned to Janice wondering if I’d missed something and she was drunk too. I didn’t remember her drinking anything, but right now the night was pretty much a blur. “Yeah, it has been pretty weird. ‘Specially after Fi had won y’alls little drinking contest and started grabbing random guys on the floor to dance with. I let her have her fun until she started to dance with Fred Durst. I don’t even know why he was there, but he’s creepy.”
Laughing, I said, “So where was I during all this?”
She shrugged. “I think you were still over by the bar mumbling something about a recount.”
“Great,” I said, holding my head as the sound of barking dogs escalated all of a sudden. “So I guess, I made a great impression with you, huh?”
“It was…uh, memorable to say the least.” She giggled. “You’re a funny drunk.”
I wanted to ask what I’d said that was so funny, but I had a big enough headache as it was and I wasn’t looking to adding to it just yet. That’s what tomorrow is for.
“Alright, we’re outta here.” Richard announced, suddenly reappearing out of the door. “Fionna’s in living room.” He tossed over his shoulder to me before heading toward the impatiently waiting limo driver.
“What is she doing in there?”
He shrugged his broad shoulders and opened the door before ushering Janice in before him. “I dunno. Hopefully sleeping.”
“Thanks.” I said, frowning at the thought of the mess that could be awaiting me. “For nothing.”
“Anytime, bro. Anytime.” He grinned with a wink, before sliding into the limo and shutting the door in my face.
I didn’t want to think about what that wink could possibly mean as I turned to head into the house. But before I could get in myself, Fionna was herself walking out.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m not staying here.”
“Doesn’t look like you have much of a choice.” I said, gesturing behind me to the now empty street. “They left. And you clearly aren’t up to driving.”
She groaned. “I don’t feel so good, Justin.” She whined.
“That’s what you get for trying to outdrink me, lightweight.” I laughed, rustling her hair around on her head.
“I would hit you, if you hadn’t called me thin and I could figure out which one of three smirking faces was yours.”
“But I didn’t mean it like…” Trailing off I decided to just shut up and let her think what she wanted to, was safer for me that way anyways.
“I wanna…I wanna go…” She said, turning around and stumbling to who knows where before stumbling and falling to the floor.
“Are you okay?” I said, moving to help her up when she hadn’t moved for awhile.
“This carpet is really soft.” She said, rubbing her cheek against it with a smile.
“Okay, Sugar Pie,” I laughed, taking her by the arm and attempting to pull her up”only to have her resist, insisting that I get on the floor too so that we can have a carpet swimming race.
“I bet I can kick your ass,” she boasted, already making stokes and kicking her legs as if she were really going to swim “…again.”
Watching her continuing to kick her arms and legs, I said, “If I do this will you go to bed with me?”
“Are you trying to proper-sition me?” she slurred with a happy drunken grin as she rolled over onto her back and started doing a lazy back stroke.
“I’m not that drunk yet.” I said, before she sent her leg flying in my direction to hit me at the back of my knee, which of course caused me to keel over. “This is what you wanted all along wasn’t it?” I smiled, now lying on top of her.
“Oh yeah,” She said, wrapping her long legs around my waist and pulling my shirt over my head before I had a chance to stop her. “This is gonna be the best minute of my life.”
_________________________
This chapter features: No Doubt - Ex-girlfriend (lyrics tweeked, slightly)
Lifehouse - You & Me
