February 12, 2004

Dear Diary,

Hi, it’s me. It’s been awhile since we’ve talked, huh? Almost six months. Well a lot of things have happened in those six months. Corey and I are back together. And guess what? I’m pregnant! Six months to be exact. But this the time where Corey and I should be really excited and really working on our marriage, but things aren’t as peachy as they seem. Well, for Corey they are. He has no clue that I’m hiding this secret that could possibly break us for good. You see, you know that Corey and I have had a lot of ups and downs during the six years that we have been together. Actually, more downs than ups. And one of those downs happened six months ago. I had found out that Corey had cheated on me, again. I really thought that was the end of us.

A couple of days after I found out, I needed to get away. So I stayed at my sister’s house for a few days. My sister had asked me to take my niece, Ericka, to her very first concert, and I accepted. Anything to get my mind off of my situation. Turns out that it was the Justified/Stripped tour with Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera, my nieces two favorite singers. So, I took her and we really had a good time. It was the first time I’ve smiled in days. I’ve never really been a fan of Justin Timberlake, but I thought he was attractive. And he can sing and dance. I was really there for Christina. After the concert, Ericka had two backstage passes, and we got to go backstage. We met Christina first, and she was extremely friendly. We took a picture with her with my camera phone. And then we were rushed to see Justin. He was even more handsome in person. Television doesn’t do him any justice. He took the time to sign my niece and my tickets. He was the one who actually had a little time to talk with us. We talked and we really hit off. He was extremely flirty. He’s really sweet and charming. We really didn’t have time to really talk about much, but he told me that he was staying in town overnight and that he would really love to talk to me more. I really can’t believe that I agreed to meet him back at his hotel. Come on, Diary, that really never happens. Especially not with me. Unless you’re a groupie. And that’s what I’m NOT.

After returning back to my sister’s, I contemplated on not going back to his hotel. He probably didn’t care if I showed up or not. But there was a little voice in the back of my head telling me that I should take a chance. And I did. And when I arrived, he was waiting for me. We had few drinks and continued to talk. We talked about everything. From politics to clothes. From world issues to music. We talked about it all. He was saying and doing everything that Corey hadn’t done in years. He said things to me that Corey hadn’t said in years. I guess we had a little too much to drink, and the next thing I know we’re back in his hotel room, making out. Kissing led to more kissing, which led to us having sex. Now, Diary, when I say that the sex was explosive, it was ten times better. This man knew my body so much better than my own husband. And I’ve only known him for a few hours.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a note. I then felt guilty. Well, part of me did. The other part of me really wanted to hurt Corey as much as has hurt me. And this secret that I’m carrying will hurt him a lot worse than I originally thought. And it’s not the fact that I slept with another man, which would devastate him. But the secret is that the child I’m carrying and the child he thinks is his, is really not his, but Justin’s. You see, Corey and I did get back together after I had slept with Justin. I guess my guilt from sleeping with another man overpowered my anger with Corey, and I took him back. We slept together the same night we got back together. And that’s when he thinks that we conceived this baby. But technology has grown so much that they can tell down to the day when a child is conceived. And when I found out that I was pregnant, I knew in my heart that this child wasn’t Corey’s. But if he believes that this is his baby, why destroy him with the truth, right? I’ve never seen Corey this happy in a long time, and besides it’s not like I’m going to see Justin ever again. That was a one time thing. He’s an international superstar. Why would he want to deal with a lonely housewife? Am I being reasonable, Diary? Or am I being selfish? I need some advice.

Love,

Angie.