"Are you sure you are ready for this?" Justin asked as he and Chione headed downtown LA for their first session.
"I'm sure, I'm glad you wanted me to come." Chione said, smiling at him.
Justin smiled back and rubbed his hand over her smaller one for a minute. The rest of the drive was quiet but comfortable between the two ex-lovers. Both of their stomachs fluttering and their minds racing about what was about to happen. About thirty minutes later, Justin pulled into a spot in the parking lot and turned off the car. Chione looked over at the small building and read the white letters that were placed on the building.
'The Los Angeles Rehabilitation Center'
She looked back over at Justin and smiled a little, "You ready Jay?"
He nodded and opened his car door, stepping out onto the damp pavement. Chione threw her furry hood over her head and stepped out into the sprinkling rain. Justin grabbed her hand as the pair walked toward the building, the only sounds being heard where Chione's Uggs hitting the pavement.
When the two entered the building, Chione's eyes scanned over all of the other patients. Some were cluttered in the corner with their family members, talking and laughing quietly. Some of the others were standing in random places throughout the large room, talking with each other or with counselors. They all looked so calm and collected, just like normal people. But they all had secrets and terrible pasts, and they were all there to get help.
Justin and Chione headed through the lobby and toward the back of the building. Justin stopped a few times and introduced Chione to some of his other group members. Chione stood back and watched the celebrity come out of him. He talked and laughed with the other men and women, wrapping his arm around her little waist, just like old times.
After a couple of minutes, he checked his phone and excused them from the conversation. They continued toward the back of the building and then turned down a long hallway. With their fingers still intertwined, they walked slowly down the the hall until Justin stopped at a closed, wooden door. He knocked softly and then stood back as his counselor opened the door.
"Justin, right on time, come on in." The older woman said.
Justin walked in first, pulling Chione in behind him, "Mrs. Griffin, this is my ex-girlfriend Chione Sanders."
"How are you Ms. Sanders? I'm Lois Griffin, Justin's counselor." The older woman said, holding out her hand.
"I'm fine, please call me Chione." She said, grasping the woman's hand and shaking it lightly.
Chione smiled softly as she took in the older woman's appearance. Her salt and pepper hair was tied up in a loose bun, allowing her oval face to be shown. Her square glasses sat low on the bridge of her nose and her soft, round eyes exuded confidence and care. Chione could tell that she had once been a very beautiful woman.
"Well, come on in and sit down. I know you two are probably very nervous."
Chione and Justin sat in the two chairs that had been set up to face each other. Lois sat in the chair that was sitting head on in front of them and grabbed her clip board, "Well, let me introduce my self to you Chione. Like I said earlier, I'm Lois Griffin, I've been a counselor here at LARC for seventeen years. I was once a patient here for drug and alcohol abuse and wanted to help others when I completed my program. Do you have any questions for me Chione?"
"I don't think so." Chione said quietly, looking over at Justin for support.
He grabbed her hand again and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her skin sweetly, instantly calming her nerves, "It's okay to be nervous dear, it is for every one. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?" Lois said.
"Um, okay. I'm Chione, I'm twenty six years old. I work at an art gallery and um, I have a one year old daughter to Justin. Um, I dropped out of school a couple of years ago so I could travel with Justin."
"What were you majoring in?" Lois asked while jotting down notes.
"Communication Design."
"Interesting. Well, why don't we begin the session. If Justin didn't tell you, this is called a forgiveness session. Once you've reached the level that Justin has, you move into the next phase. Justin now has to voice his feelings and emotions to a person that he has hurt with his addiction. He then has to listen to his loved one voice their feelings and emotions. The goal of the forgiveness sessions are to get you both to forgive each other and for Justin to be able to move back into his normal lifestyle."
It grew silent between the three people for a couple of minutes, "So, how do we start?" Chione asked, looking over at Lois.
"Either one of you can say anything you want. These sessions are about communication and dialogue between addict and family."
"Oh okay, well uh... I- I don't know what to say." Chione laughed nervously, running a hand through her long hair.
"That's okay, I'll start okay?" Justin asked. When Chione nodded, Justin took a deep breath and rested his elbows on his legs, leaning in closer to Chione, "I um... when I would be getting high, I would think about you. Shit, I would think about you all day long, that's why I would go out and get high. I didn't want to think about the things that I had done to you.
One day, I was out doing something, I can't remember but I saw you with Trace in a store. You were so pregnant," He laughed, "You're belly was so big, I couldn't believe it. I just stood there outside in the cold, just watching you, wanting so bad to just walk in and take you in my arms. I wanted to be everything that you wanted me to be but I couldn't give that shit up. I was already too far gone."
"I remember that day," Chione said quietly, staring back at Justin, "I thought I saw you but when I looked back you had gone and I just brushed it off. You were really there?"
"I was, I didn't know you saw me." Justin said, looking down at the floor.
"I wasn't 100% sure, but I felt... calm when I thought I saw you. I had been hearing so many terrible stories about you and when I thought I saw you, I felt like you were okay." Chione whispered, tears coming to her eyes.
Justin smiled nervously as his own tears began to well up in his blue eyes, "At night, all I could think about was that night I beat you up. I would physically become sick every time I thought about it. I still have this image of you, all bloody and almost... unconscious. I can't... I can't get that image out of my head."
"How does that night make you feel Chione?" Lois said softly, still jotting down notes.
"I... I really don't remember that night. All I know is what Trace has told me. You almost killed our baby Justin." She said, as she let the emotion stream down her face.
Justin hung his head and the water dripped off of his nose and hit the floor, "I know," he whispered, "And I am so sorry Chione."
The two of them sat there, staring at each other like if they looked away, the other would disappear. They sniffled and wiped at their faces, trying to rid themselves of the pent up emotions but the tears kept coming. But it was time to let go. It was time to let go off all of the hurt and pain and regret. Chione reached out slowly, letting her fingers skim across his skin. She then dipped her hand into his palm and squeezed his hand tightly, "It's okay."
Justin let out a loud sob and Chione sat at the edge of her seat, reaching her other hand out to him. She ran her fingers through his hair slowly, rubbing the back of his head like she had so many times before. He squeezed her hand back tightly, crying harshly as Chione tried to calm him. She lifted his head in her hands and placed her hand on the side of his face, "It's okay Justin."
"It's not okay. I could have killed you, I could have killed you both."
"You were a different person then, that powder was running your life. The Justin that I know is sweet and kind and loving. I can tell the difference between the real Justin and the Justin on drugs. You need to be able to tell the difference as well. You're trying to change and that's all that's important. We need you, Dionne and I both."
"I need you. My god, I need you both so bad, I'd loose my mind if I lost you two again."
Justin brought their connected hands up to his mouth and laid soft kisses along her thin fingers and hand. Chione cocked her head to the side as her eyes glazed over with tears again. She was finally getting her Justin back.
"That was very good," Lois said, smiling at the two of them from her clip board, "And I mean this when I say it, that is the best first session that I've seen in a very long time. I don't think that this is going to be a problem for either of you. How about we take a ten minute break and then come back to continue."
"Sounds good." Chione whispered, still keeping her eyes on Justin.
The three of them stood quietly, Justin and Chione still holding hands. They walked out of the room and walked back down the same long hallway back to the lobby. Justin excused himself and walked into the bathroom, leaving Chione alone in the open room. The people had thinned out from the time they had first walked in. Now, there were just a couple of people scattered around the lobby, Chione guessing that they were on their breaks as well.
She leaned up against the wall and scanned the room, taking in her surroundings, "You wanna go outside for a minute?" Justin asked quietly, walking up behind her.
She shook her head and followed him back out into the parking lot. They walked to the side of the building and sank to the ground, resting their backs against the building. It was silent between them as they digested everything that had just happened between them. Justin dug in his pants pocket, his fingers reaching desperately for the square, paper box.
His nerves immediately relaxed when he pulled out the box of cigarettes. He slid the thin cigarette from it's holding place and stuck it in his mouth, returning the package to his pocket. He pulled out the red lighter, and placed his thumb on the igniter. A yellow flame erupted from the small device as he pulled the lighter up to his awaiting cigarette.
The first drag calmed him even further as he exhaled the gray smoke. He flicked the end of the cigarette with his thumb and looked over at his beautiful companion.
"When did you start smoking?" Chione asked, her own fingers itching for a cigarette.
"A couple of months ago. I don't smoke in front of the baby though. You want me to put it out?"
She shook her head, "No, it's just... I started smoking again after I had Dionne but Trace made me quit again. It really does calm you down, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," Justin chuckled.
He took one more drag and then flattened the cigarette into the still damp concrete. Chione smiled at the small gesture and turned to look at him again, "I meant what I said in there, I do need you J."
"But you think we should take it slow." Justin said, finishing for her.
"I do. I think after these sessions are over, we'll be completely free of all of our baggage. We'll have a fair chance to raise our child together."
Justin was quiet for a minute before glancing around the parking lot and surrounding environment, "I'd like that."
"Me too. Should we head back in now?"
"Yeah, she's probably waiting for us."
The two stood and wiped at their jeans and clothing, ridding them of the dirt they might have picked up. Chione grabbed Justin's hand again and they headed back into the building. They walked back down the same long hallway and turned back into the session room. Chione and Justin took their respected seats and looked at Lois, waiting for their next task.
Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry guys, i've been working non-stop over spring break. but, i have a free afternoon, so here is the next chapter, hope you guys like it!
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