Someone to pull me through, somehow
I’ve been torn apart so many times,
I’ve been hurt so many times before,
So I’m counting on you now
- “Somebody Already Broke My Heart” by Sade
I had become intensely bored with staying at home after the first week so I decided to finally see my other two sisters. During the day, Zora would leave Kyle at a daycare and she would head straight to the office, and today, I joined her.
My nerves were getting the best of me as I entered the little building that my sisters all owned. I didn’t know what to expect from Maria and Patrice but they surprised me tremendously when they embraced me, hard.
“Look at you, Sadie!” Maria is staring at me in awe and she is smiling. I take this as a good sign. She brings her hands to my hair and shakes her head. “I’ve always loved those red locks of yours - they annoyed mother so damn much - but this look does you justice.” She envelopes me into another hug and I relax in her embrace, this time.
I’ve always loved the scent of Maria. When we were younger, I would sneak into her room and put on her various home-made fragrances, hoping that I would draw boys to me the way boys would flock to her. It never worked, but I still did it anyway.
Maria is four years my senior but she doesn’t look a day over eighteen. “Look at those hips. Damn girl, milk has done you real good!”
I can feel my cheeks burning with blush and I bury my face into my hands - I told you I’m very shy, and I guess you can say I’m insecure, too. “Don’t hide your pretty face, Sadie. Look at me.” Patrice is speaking now and I drop my hands from my face and look into her grayish hazel eyes and see that she is grinning.
“Its good to have you back, baby sis.” She pinches my nose - something she has done since we were little, “I missed you.”
I perk up a little. “Really?” I’m surprised at this because out of all my sisters - Patrice is the one who paid the least amount of attention to me. I was a constant nuisance in her side growing up and she would purposely tattle on me to our mother to get me in trouble and more importantly, away from her.
She nods her head, her dark brown hair falling over her shoulders. “Of course I did, Dee Dee.” I haven’t that nickname in a long time and it brings a sense of warmth to my body to know that she did in fact miss me.
Zora walks around the three of us and rolls her eyes. “You would think that you guys have seen Angelina Jolie walk in the room or something,” she laughs softly, and glances back at me, winking. “I told you not to worry, baby sis.”
Yeah, she did.
* * *
I take back my earlier statement about this business being ludicrous - I’ve come to realize, after watching my sisters work, that sometimes people aren’t that lucky in life when it comes to love or dating. You shouldn’t judge someone on how they go about finding someone.
Besides, it’s a paycheck for my siblings so I guess that is what matters at the end of the day. I’ve seen various clients enter the building including Ms. Waters, who happened to be the town legend because she lives with more than twenty cats and dogs and has never been able to maintain a man in her life because of this.
I felt sorry for her because she truly did not see anything wrong with having that many animals in her house. I didn’t know anything about dating or men but I even knew that that kind of behavior scares people away. Patrice had said that they had set Ms. Waters on various dates with each one falling through because many of the men complained that she smelt of cat litter….which she did.
But, I give her credit, though. She continuously comes back or that’s what Patrice fills me in on - Ms. Waters truly believe her match is out there and that my sisters have just not found him yet. I hope one day, for her sake, that they do.
Now, I listen as Maria moans in annoyance and stands up from her chair where her desk is occupied when she looks out the window and sees a short, white woman with blonde curly hair heading to the building. “Hell no!”
Zora glances up quickly from her computer, I am sitting next to her and I am also intrigued as to what is going on, even though I remain quiet. “What?”
“Here comes hell. Twelve o’clock.” My sisters glance to the door and all of them roll their eyes, simultaneously, as I watch Maria exit to another room, down the hall.
Patrice mumbles under her breath but places a fake smile upon her face as the woman in question steps inside. “Hey, Lynn.”
Zora chimes in now. “How’re you doing?” She also has a fake smile upon her features now, too.
I shake my head slowly. What do they have against this woman?
Lynn pulls the black shades from her face to reveal her blue eyes and she sits in one of the chairs in front of my sister, Patrice. “I’m as good as I’ll ever be. Ladies, I know you’re going to hate me, but I need your help, again.”
Zora shakes her instantly and speaks before Patrice has the chance to. “I’m afraid we can’t, Lynn. Your son is now starting to give us, as a business, a bad name. We have set him up with sixteen women, Lynn, sixteen - and each time the girl comes back to us, upset and furious because we’ve set them up with someone who treats them like common trash.” She places her hands upon her desk and shakes her head, again. “I can’t allow that to happen again. Your son doesn’t need a decent woman - he needs professional help.”
The older woman seems embarrassed by Zora’s comments on her son and I become really interested in this now because Zora seems to be very heated at the moment. “I know he has a little drug problem and he-”
Zora snorts. “Little? If you call an abusive alcoholic and cocaine addict a ‘little’ problem then I’m really frightened to what you might think a real drug problem is.”
Patrice widens her eyes at our sister and mouths to her - ‘shut up’. She now turns to Lynn, who I can see has tears in her eyes. “Your son wants to have a good time with these women we have set him up with. And I’m afraid our business is that of trying to build long-lasting relationships - we are not bordello home and we do not permit using our ladies or men for prostitution.”
Lynn nods her head slowly and closes her eyes briefly. “I know that, Patrice. You know me. I don’t condone prostitution, especially not for my son, but he needs someone - he may not admit it, but he needs someone to talk to because he certainly won’t talk to me.”
“He has to want to talk to someone, Lynn.” Patrice says now, her eyes softening a bit. “He needs help and we’ll keep him in our prayers but I’m afraid we cannot provide you any service when it regards to Justin any longer.”
She nods her head sadly, and places back on her shades. She stands from her seat and begins to walk to the door, “Thank you anyway. I’m sorry for any grief he has caused any of you and your business. I am truly sorry.” And with that, she exits.
Almost immediately, Maria appears back in the main office with us. Zora scowls at her, “You scary bitch! You couldn’t even face her.”
Maria smirks. “If I had spoken to her, I would’ve been uncivil…extremely. So I chose the right path.”
Patrice rolls her eyes, “Whatever. You just froze up, you scary whore.”
I remain silent until now. I’m curious. “What’s wrong with her son?”
Zora returns to her computer while my other two sisters get back to work, completely ignoring me. I’m used to this so I decide to start reading my book on famous quotes until Zora starts talking to me.
“Justin is the town’s latest sad story, I guess you can say. He became really famous in the music business with his underground music and I guess one day the girl he was seeing two-timed his ass and turned bitter on the world. He lost his recording contract and was forced to move back in with his mother, Lynn.”
She stops typing for a bit and turns to me, her eyes level with mine.
“Its really sad cause Lynn is probably the most devoted, loving mother anyone could ever ask for and Justin’s her only child and to see him drinking, using drugs and becoming a piece of shit, literally kills her - I want to strangle that dumb boy for what he’s doing to her.”
I nod my head as I listen, piecing things together. “Did they live here while we were growing up?”
She nods her head. “Yeah, they did. We just never knew of them because you know our mother didn’t let us associate with the outside world.” She nods in Maria’s direction, “She dated him before he turned into a jackass.”
I think back because Maria has dated a lot of men. “I met him?”
Zora shrugs her shoulders. “I think so. They only dated for a few weeks because he left town to start pursuing his music career. That’s why Maria can’t stand to see his mother because she feels really guilty for how he’s turned out.”
“Why?”
Zora groans now and pinches me in my side. “You’re asking a lot of questions. This is the most I’ve ever seen your ass talk.” I decide to be quiet from then on but she continues, “Justin really liked her and he would write her while he was away but she never returned his letters or calls - she had met someone else. So now she thinks that she’s the girl that broke his heart but she isn’t….its some other girl.” She lets out a deep breath, “Now, let’s stop talking about this.”
I don’t mention anything else and leave the topic alone. My heart goes out to that lady and I send her my prayers.
* * *
I moved about the aisles, steadily looking for my favorite drink - Ginger Ale. Zora had given me a list of things to get from the local market and handed me a hundred dollar bill, too. She said to get whatever I wanted, also.
I’ve forgotten how much stuff that they have in this market and I’ve also forgotten how much you can run into anyone you know at this store. This is what I’m thinking as I stand behind a shelf filled with nothing but cookies and glance at the woman a few feet ahead of me - it’s my mother.
I could notice her short, thin frame anywhere. My heart had instantly gotten caught in my throat when I laid eyes on her. She didn’t seem to look any different except that her blonde hair now had a few streaks of gray. Surprising, even for her, my mother hates gray hairs because she identifies it as aging and she tries to convince herself that she isn’t capable of aging any. Yeah, whatever.
A part of me wants to call her name out and make her notice my presence but the part of me that is fearful and terrified slowly backs away. I don’t know how I will truly act when I see her but today is not the day that I find this out. I can’t deal with her today.
As I move backwards, my body comes in contact with someone and I feel them groan in pain, I think. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I say, politely, turning around to see this tall, muscular man before me - what strikes me mostly about him is that he is deathly pale and he has the most clear blue eyes I’ve ever seen.
His presence towers over mine and I notice a short young man beside him, laughing. “Watch where the fuck you’re going next time, fat ass.” He says this with hatred clearly evident in his voice and I notice the bags underneath his eyes.
My eyes widen and I am instantly frightened. I’m not used to confrontation, at all. I move around him quickly and hurriedly walk away from him and his friend and I can hear them laughing behind me. And I continue to push past various people, forgetting about the cart filled with food as tears reach my eyelids.
That man doesn’t even know me and he had the audacity to call me out of my name after I apologized to him. My heart was beating furiously. I wasn’t angry, more embarrassed than anything.
This is why I stay at home, to myself…so I can avoid getting hurt by anyone or anything.
* * *
Zora is getting on my nerves. She hasn’t left me alone since I’ve came home and retreated to my room. I didn’t even feel like playing with Kyle - I was too shaken to do anything.
She wanted to know why I didn’t get the groceries and why I was crying. Her hazel brown eyes turned suddenly dark as I could tell she was becoming furious not with the situation, but with me, also. She shuts my door so that Kyle wouldn’t be able to hear us, more accurately, her. “What the fuck happened?”
I sit up and pull my knees to my chest and sob softly. Zora doesn’t like to show weakness and she especially hates to see any of her sisters express it - it makes her livid to know what caused it. “I saw m-mother.”
Zora raises her hands in the air in confusion. “That’s all, Sadie? You need to get a thicker shell if you can’t handle her.”
I shake my head slowly. “No, I didn’t talk to her. I-It w-was this guy and h-he went off on me while his f-friend just stood th-ere laughing.” I shuddered then, remembering.
My sister furrowed her brows in deep thought. “What did he look like?”
“His head is shaved and he’s tall, I think. He’s got a lot of tattoos and really clear blue e-eyes.” As I say this, I watch as my sister pulls her cell phone from her side pocket and dials a number.
She is really upset.
She is yelling through the phone at whomever and I’m guessing she concluded who the man was because she was threatening to chop his “little, sorry excuse for a penis” off with her teeth. I scrunched up in pain when she said this because I knew she wasn’t joking. Zora can be a really big pain in the you-know-what if she wanted to be.
“Do you fucking understand me?” She listens for a second and continues on her rant, “I don’t give a flying FUCK if she bumped into your stupid ass. You listen to me, you worthless piece of shit, you apologize to her right now or I’ll see to it that I fuck you up real good, you hear me?” I can hear him mumble something in response to her. “I give a shit because she’s my baby sister, asshole.”
She hands me the phone now, her eyes are almost coming out of her sockets and she is extremely red in the face. I’ve never seen her this way. And now, I’m scared of her, too. “Take this shit.” She says and I quickly take the phone from her.
“H-Hello?” I’m greeted with loud banging in the background and I intend to hang up the phone until I hear his voice - this time he is way more civil.
“Say I’m sorry for going off on you earlier. I had no right to.” I then hear a click and I hand her back her phone. She stares at me, waiting.
“He said he’s sorry.” I say, quickly. Zora is freaking me out.
She nods her head, “He better have. Stupid bitch.” She sighs loudly and runs her hands over her face, tiredly. “I’ll make his life fucking hell if he even looks at you funny,” she turns to me now, “if he says anything else to you - tell me immediately, okay? No bullshit.”
I nod my head. I wasn’t going to mess with her. She’s crazy.
“Well, I guess you didn’t meet him before because you would’ve remembered him.” She has calmed down some and is now sitting beside me on my bed.
I piece two and two together. “That was Justin?” She snorts. Wow, something really was wrong with him - and I came to conclusion just by looking at him. “He looks like a ghost, really.”
Zora waves this off, like it really doesn‘t matter that the guy almost looks like a corpse. “Yeah, well, you’ll get used to seeing that ugly mug of his face since you’re back in town now.” She stands from my bed and leaves my room.
I shudder at the memory of his face and shake my head. I hope not.
* * *
