PART 14

I can’t fucking take it anymore. If I hear her giggle one more time I swear to god I’m going to rip my ears off and eat them. Four hours. Four fucking hours on a bus with this airheaded tramp and I’m losing my mind. I thought riding with the guys was bad, but fart jokes and racy innuendo are nothing compared to the asinine chatter of the wardrobe girls and her.

Britney Spears, pop princess, or so was the title that has been given to her by the tabloids and teen magazines. She’s America’s sweetheart… or so she was until three days ago when the latest issue of Rolling Stone came out. Her phone rings off the hook, calls from her publicists and her agent and her manager, all with tales of record stores in the south pulling her CDs from the shelves, politicians crying indecency, and preachers giving sermons on purity and chastity. She responds with coy giggles and widened eyes, feigning innocence and ignorance. It is enough to make me want to kill myself.

Stepping off of that bus and breathing the sooty Detroit air was like stepping onto the beach after a winter in the arctic. You just thank god that it’s over and you don’t have to endure it anymore. My eyes fall on the bus that is behind us, unconsciously searching the group of people crowded next to it for that tale tell curly head. I find him laughing with JC, backpack slung casually over his shoulder and I fight the urge to go to him. And then a blonde figure flounces past me.

“Heeeeeeey J,” she says, bouncing up next to him and he smiles down at her affectionately.

This is a good thing, I keep telling myself. He’s finally finding someone his own age. Why it had to be her I’ll never know but he’s finally looking at another girl, talking to another girl. I should be happy, but all I really am is pissed off. She’s nothing like me! She’s vapid and shallow and utterly clueless. She’s short and thin and tan and I can’t believe that I’m jealous. No, no I am not jealous. I am simply… making an observation of our differences, no different than comparing two pieces of art.

I start making my way toward the sliding glass doors of the hotel, and I catch his eye, his gaze following me as I pass him. My movement seems to spark the mass migration of all the people standing in front of the buses. Or maybe it’s him following me that sparks the move. I smile to myself but it dies away as I see her walking at his side, chatting with him easily. I can feel his eyes flit between me and her as they fall in behind me, coming close enough for me to catch snippets of their conversation

“You are perverted, Justin Timberlake!” Britney squeals, her southern drawl sugary sweet and nauseating as we step through the sliding glass doors of the hotel and I hear him laugh throatily.

“Oh, if you think that is perverted, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” he laughs and I let a shiver quake through me at the suggestion in his voice.

He’s flirting with her. I know this because he does this with me. Not so much anymore because we don’t do a lot of talking when we’re alone now but he used to. He used to. A strange tightness enters my chest but I push it down. This is a good thing. Maybe he’ll stop coming to me. Maybe he’ll start going to her. This doesn’t comfort me the way that I know it should. It leaves me hollow and empty. I push it down.

“Skylar!”

My name echoes through the large lobby and I look around for the source. My eyes fall on a tall man with wavy blond hair and my breath catches in my throat. He’s smiling widely at me, his hands in his pockets, enjoying what I am sure is the dumbfounded look on my face.

“Khefren?” I ask my voice barely above a whisper.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Justin’s head whip and his smile fades, his face becoming a mask but I see anger smoldering in his blue eyes.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” he spats but I’m not really paying attention.

Khefren is walking towards me and I’m so shocked I can’t even think straight. I had been so distraught when he had left. It had felt like I lost part of myself and now here he is right in front of me and I don’t know what to do. My heart is fluttering like it always did with him, all those emotions washing over me and I’m dazed and dizzied, trying to remember where all this went. He left and I was broken and sad and then… and then Justin…

“I’ve rendered her speechless!” Khefren laughs and he opens his arms to me.

I pause for a moment before stepping into the embrace and the familiar scent of dried spice envelops me, emotions flooding through me. My hands clutch at his back and I smile into his shoulder, a quiet happiness settling over me. This is familiar. This is good. I remember this. This guiltless, easy courtship. He pulls back and smiles down at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners and I gaze up at him still slightly dazed.

“What… what are you doing here?” I ask, smiling as I step back. I can see Justin from the corner of my eye, standing at the counter, waiting for his room key, eyes flitting to us every once and awhile.

“Well, I knew you guys would be in Michigan and I live in Michigan if you remember correctly,” he grins at me and I can’t help beaming back at him, butterflies tickling my stomach.

“Oh, that’s right!” I say, wondering how I could have forgotten. That all seems so long ago when, really, only two months have passed since his departure.

“I was thinking,” he says, looking around us before leaning in closer to me, his voice soft. “Maybe I could take you to dinner? Catch up?”

His hazel eyes are gazing into mine intently and I’m momentarily at a loss. Emotions are flooding through me, confusing and strong. It’s Khefren and he’s here right now, and he’s asking me to go to dinner with him. Two months ago I would have been shaking like one of Justin’s fans. Justin…

“Yes,” I say abruptly, smiling at him as I swallow hard and the smile that lights up his handsome face is enough to set the butterflies loose in my stomach again.

“Okay…” he says, taking my hands in his and his palms are warm and slightly damp. He’s nervous. I grin back at him. “Pick you up at seven?”

“Sounds great,” I say and I jump back as I feel a large hand smooth across my lower back.

“Khefren! Good to see you,” Justin says, his voice holding a fake cheeriness that makes me cringe.

“Justin! How you doin, kid?” Khefren says, giving Justin a playful punch on the arm and Justin smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Good, and I’m not a kid,” Justin responds, his fingers massaging slow circles on my lower back and I shift uncomfortably, crossing my arms over my chest, elbowing him in the ribs in the process. He huffs gently.

“Of course not,” Khefren grins, sharing a look with me and I can’t help but smile back. Justin scowls.

“What brings you to this neck of the woods?” Justin asks, his hand trying to snake its way around my waist to pull me closer but my elbow under his ribcage prevents him from doing so.

“Just taking this lovely lady to dinner,” Khefren replies, his eyes softening as he looks at me and my head spins a little, a blush creeping into my cheeks and I have to bite my bottom lip to keep from grinning giddily.

Justin’s hand snatches back as if he’s been burned. I look up at him just in time to see the astonished and hurt look on his face before he situates it into a look of feigned interest. My chest tightens a little and I want to touch him, to just place a hand on his arm and let him know its okay. But I can’t do that because I’m not sure it is.

“She’s working tonight,” Justin says flatly, his voice conveying neither malice nor warmth.

“We don’t have much to cover,” I say, brushing off his statement, hoping that he gets the hint. He can’t make a big deal about this.

“Yeah, but isn’t that why you’re here?” Justin asks, his eyes hard as he looks at me. “You’re here to teach me?”

“Yes,” I say, looking at him, my eyes boring into his. He has to chill out and not blow everything because he’s jealous. “But we should be done by seven.”

“Good,” Khefren says, eyeing Justin strangely before sharing a look with me and grinning. I smile back weakly. “I’ll be here in the lobby at seven.”

He leans in to kiss me on the cheek sweetly, his lips lingering for a moment before pulling back and smiling down at me. He gives Justin a nod as he brushes past us and out the hotel doors. I turn and watch him leave, my hand going up to touch my cheek, skin still tingling from his lips.

“You’re grinning like an idiot.”

It’s Justin’s voice, flat and harsh and I’m brought back to the moment, looking up into his dark blue eyes clouded in anger and hurt. I purse my lips glaring up at him. He’s glaring at me petulantly, his arms crossed over his chest and I hate it when he does this, pouts like a child. I open my mouth to retort but Britney bounds up next to us.

“Hey, J! Wanna work out together? They have a gym here,” she says, bouncing a little, thumbs hooked in the straps of her book bag.

“Yeah,” Justin says, eyes locked on mine. “I’ll work you out.”

My mouth falls open and so does Britney’s as she giggles and punches him on the shoulder.

“Justin! God, you’re such a perv,” she squeals and he finally rips his gaze from me and smiles brilliantly down at her. My insides boil.

“You know it, girl,” he grins, his eyes flitting to me. “Come on, let’s go.”

He throws an arm around her shoulders and she leans into him as they walk toward the elevators together. All I can do is watch, slightly shocked as she looks up at him and he drops a kiss on her forehead. She giggles as they step into the elevator and turn leaning against the railing. He stares at me defiantly and I have just enough time to see him grin cockily before the doors close.

***

I’m a ball of emotion as I try and work feebily on my thesis, waiting for Justin to get done with his work out. Khefren is here... and we’re going to dinner. We’re going on a date. A real one, not like the little mini dates we went on after shows when we were first together. I’m happy and nervous and…where the hell is Justin?

I glance at the clock and find that it’s nearly a quarter to six. I’ll need to start getting ready soon. What the hell is taking him so long? No one works out for three hours. We’ve worked out for three hours before. My chest tightens again and it’s almost suffocating.

“This is a good thing,” I mutter to myself as I climb off my bed and pace the room a bit. “He should date her. She’s a nice girl. A bit stupid… and vain and she dresses like a slut…and oh my god I’m talking to myself.”

I shake my head, trying to clear it and sighing, I walk to the door and down the hall. I take the elevator down to the lobby, going back through a hallway towards the gym. Tiny is standing by the door and he gives me a dubious glare before cocking his head at the door, allowing me entry.

What I see when I step inside makes me gasp. Britney flat on her back, one of her legs pulled to her chest while the other lies flat and Justin... Justin is laying between them, his arms locked and he’s pressing his body into hers. The fact that they are fully clothed doesn’t make this any less awkward, doesn’t make the fact that my heart is caught in my throat any less painful.

“Ow, Justin that hurts!” she whines, as he presses his shoulder harder against the leg he’s pinning to her chest.

“Take it all, bitch,” he chuckles and she brings an arm around his neck to slap the back of his head, causing his nose to bump into hers.

“Ow!” they both exclaim in unison before bursting into giggles and I turn to leave, fully prepared to go back to my room and…

But I bump into the door frame on my way out, smashing my shoulder back and I yelp, squeezing my eyes shut as I spin away from the offending architecture. I grip my bicep, trying to numb the pain that shoots down to my finger tips and up my neck. It will bruise in the morning.

I open my eyes to see Justin and Britney both looking up at me, bodies still in the same position. Justin’s eyes widen as he scrambles to his feet, wiping his hands on his basketball shorts. Britney pushes herself to her elbows and simply stares up at him before looking back at me and then back at him.

“We were just stretching,” he says quickly and I can only blink at him, the guilty look on his face saying so much more than his voice can.

“Oh come on J,” Britney says, grinning up at him. “Sky’s cool. She won’t tell your momma you were touching me in naughty places.”

She giggles as she nudges his shin with her foot and he steps away from her. I grit my teeth, fighting the dizziness as my stomach drops and he looks at me, giving his head an almost imperceptible shake. That’s not how it is, he says with his eyes but I look away.

“Sorry to interrupt. I just have to start getting ready soon so if you could come up and we could knock this lesson out that would be great.”

My voice sounds foreign even to me and he tilts his head to the side regarding me curiously, before narrowing his eyes. He thinks I’ve said this to hurt him. Maybe I did, on some subconscious level.

“Yeah, just lemme go into the locker room and get my bag,” Justin says and I almost protest but he’s disappeared down the hall before I even get a chance to open my mouth.

Now I’m alone in the room… with Britney. She pulls herself up off the floor and walks over to one of the many mirrors on the wall and adjusts her sports bra before turning her face this way and that, examining her skin. She’s a very pretty girl. She and Justin look very cute together. He smiles a lot when she’s around. My chest is tight again. I rub it, hoping to alleviate the pressure.

“You and Justin seem close,” Britney says, adjusting her high pony tail and I snap out of my daze, looking at her through the mirror.

“Um… yeah,” I say and add what I always do when someone makes this statement. “He’s a sweet kid. Very smart.”

“Is he…” she trails, pulling her plush bottom lip between her teeth and eyeing me through the mirror. She turns to face me. “Is he seeing anyone?”

It takes all of my willpower for my jaw not to hit the floor. She’s shifting from foot to foot, eyeing me hopefully. She likes him. From the look on her face she likes him a lot. She’s a nice girl. She’s a little self-centered but so is Justin. Maybe she would draw that out of him. Maybe she would be good for him…better than me…

“I mean, like I said, you two seem kinda close,” she says, smiling at me embarrassed. “That’s the only reason I ask. He seems like he tells you stuff.”

“I-” I begin to speak but Justin jogs back into the room, back pack slung over his shoulder.

“Sorry,” he says to the room and his eyes fall on Britney. “Thanks for working out with me.”  He smiles in a friendly way.

“Thanks for working me out,” she giggles back and he blushes which I would find adorable if rage wasn’t boiling so close to the surface. I push it down.

“You ready?” he asks me softly, his hand reaching to touch my elbow. I pull back quickly.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Brit, you gonna hang down here?” Justin asks, and the young girl nods, sitting back down on the floor.

“Yeah…gotta do about two hundred more crunches,” she breathes, squaring her shoulders before tucking her hands behind her head.

“Okay, have fun.”

She merely nods, beginning her crunches and he turns to me. His hand reaches for my wrist but I step away, turning my back to him, anger and some other emotion that I refuse to call jealously boiling under my skin. I stride ahead of him and he struggles to catch up, his hand wrapping around my bicep finally as we reach the elevator. I shake him loose giving him a warning glance, looking around to see if anyone witnessed this.

“Skylar,” he says, his voice soft as we step into the elevator. “We were just working out.”

“It’s fine, Justin,” I say, rolling my eyes at him and then I paint a smile on my face. “It’s good! She’ll be good for you.”

I hear him sigh as I watch the numbers ascend. “I don’t want her. I want you.”

Something inside of me swells as he says this and the logical part of me beats it down, scolding it, breaking it into pieces until it subsides. I heave a perturbed sigh.

“She’s good for you, Justin.” I say as the elevator doors open to my floor. “You could have a real relationship with her.”

“I’m having a relationship,” he replies petulantly as we walk to my door, “with you.”

“This is not,” I pause looking around to make sure no one is listening as I slip my key into the lock, “a relationship.” I stand aside to allow him entry.

“Yes,” he says walking in and turning towards me, “It is.”

“I’m not arguing with you about this right now,” I say, closing the door behind me and dropping my key on the table. I glance at the clock. “Dammit, it’s twenty after six. I don’t have time for a shower.” I sigh.

“You’re really going to dinner with him,” Justin scowls, falling onto the bed and pulling out his book.

“Yes,” I say, stepping into the bathroom and looking into the mirror. My hair will have to go up…dammit.

“Why?” he asks, annoyance obvious in his voice and I sigh as I leave the bathroom and rummage through my suitcase.

‘Because I want to,” I say, pulling out my little black dress and it’s the truth. I shake the fabric, trying to alleviate some of the wrinkles from the soft cotton, hoping it will alleviate my guilt as well.

“You’re wearing that?” Justin asks, eyeing the dress as I consider it.

“Yes,” I say finally, reaching into my luggage for a pair of black panties.

“What, so you’re gonna fuck him now?” Justin asks, his voice raised and I look back at him, my face blank.

He’s scowling at me, eyeing the underwear in my hand and I can’t help but preen a little under his territorial stare. Part of me really seems to enjoy the fact that he gets so jealous. Just the other day one of the local crew had helped me step down from the stage and Justin was at my side within seconds, taking my other hand to guide me, eyeing the other man moodily. The other part of me, the logical part of me, the part of me that I’ve locked in the basement of my mind for the past two months screams that I’m being selfish. Now, it says, now is the perfect opportunity to end this, to atone for my egregious error of starting this thing with him in the first place. He likes Britney. Britney likes him. If I just let him go… if I just let him go… I could make this right.

“Why do you care?” I respond, the words bitter in my mouth as I turn to go back into the bathroom.

I hang my dress over the shower door, tossing my underwear on the counter and I am about to shut the bathroom door behind me when his hand stops the wood abruptly, and he charges me. I gasp as he backs me into the glass door of the shower, gripping my wrists and pinning them against my shoulders. I look up into his eyes, dark with rage (and hurt?) as his fingers dig into the delicate flesh of my inner wrists.

“No one fucks you but me,” he says harshly and my stomach drops to my feet, my insides coiling at his words. I swallow hard, painting my face into a look of annoyance.

“Justin, let me go,” I chide, pushing him back with trembling hands and turning away, praying that he doesn’t notice. I can’t do this right now. I have to get ready for my date with Khefren.

I’m going on a date with Khefren. I’m dating. I’m not sneaking around with my underage student. I’m going on a date. Like a normal person. And I like Khefren. I like him a lot. I wait for the butterflies to tickle my stomach but they don’t come.

I jump when I feel Justin’s hands smooth down my arms, my stomach tying in knots as he breathes against my ear, panting that no one can give it to me like he can. And here come the butterflies…dammit. I shrug him off, stepping up to the vanity and trying to ignore him.

He glowers at me through the mirror, watching as I pull my hair back, twisting it up and securing it with a clip. I brush the long strands of my bangs away from my face and survey it in the mirror. I wrinkle my nose and repeat the process. Justin stands silently behind me, his eyes never leaving me, silent anger emanating off of him.

I start to freshen my make up, throwing out random art questions which he answers dutifully, jaw tight, voice flat and emotionless. I finish my make up, puckering my lips in the mirror, and surveying my face. My eyes flit to him through the reflection and he’s still sulking, his arms crossed over his chest, eyes roving over me through the mirror. I sigh.

“I need to change,” I say to him, turning to face him and he leans against the shower door, snaking his tongue out to wet his full bottom lip.

“So change,” he says, nodding his head at me and I roll my eyes.

“Come on, Justin,” I say pointing to the door but he doesn’t move, just stands there and raises an eyebrow in challenge.

I sigh, turning away from him as I tug my shirt over my head, but the mirror does little to hide my nakedness. I avoid his gaze as I unbutton my jeans and push them down my hips, hooking my big toe in the elastic of my socks as I kick the denim off my legs, taking my socks with it.

My eyes meet his in the mirror and he’s watching me intently, his eyes roving over my scantily clad form, his tongue sliding against the inside of his lip. I sigh as I turn to face him again, fisting my hands on my hips and nodding towards the door.

“Seriously, Jus, come on,” I sigh.

“What?” he asks, his voice hard. “You act like it’s some shit I’ve never seen before.”

He grins at me cockily and I scowl, turning to the mirror again, reaching behind me to undo my bra. Fine, he wants it this way. It can be this way. I hear him gasp as I let the material fall from my shoulders and toss it aside. I hesitate as I hook my thumbs in the waistband of my panties but I shake the insecurity away. He’s right. He has seen it all before.

I shove them down and grab the black lacey pair I have chosen for this evening, pulling them up my legs. I gasp when I feel him slide up behind me, pressing into my back, his large hands coming around me to cover my breasts. Why was I excited to go on this date again? Khefren who?

His long fingers pluck at my nipples and my eye lids flutter before I come back to myself and push him back. He can’t keep doing this. Seducing me and winning me over just to get his way. He needs to let me go. I need to let him go.

“Excuse me,” I say, reaching past him to grab my dress from over the shower door and he doesn’t move, making me brush my breasts against the bare skin of his arm in the process.

I turn back to the mirror and bring the dress over my head, raising my arms to let the soft cotton fall down my body. I adjust the fabric over my frame, situating the empire waist just under my breasts, tugging on the material until the low neckline is straight and showing just enough of my breast bone to entice. I bring my arm back and grip the zipper, doing my best to tug it up. My arm cramps and I struggle… if I could just get it up a little more I could come from the other end and…

Justin sighs, stepping forward and I feel his fingers graze my skin as he grabs the zipper and pulls up, his knuckles smoothing up my spine as he zips me up. He pauses, and I can see him in the mirror, his eyes locked on the back of my neck. He purses his lips before heaving a sigh that rushes against my skin, causing goose bumps to prickle before placing a soft kiss at the nape of my neck. I shiver hard, my eyes lids fluttering as I watch him look at the floor sadly, his hand going up to flatten his curls against his head.

I turn cupping his face in my hand, stroking his cheek with my thumb and I have no words. I can’t say what he wants to hear. I won’t say what he wants to hear. This is good for us. He’ll have Britney and I’ll have Khefren and we’ll be happy… normal. This is the way it should be. He and I… apart.

I turn away from him, going back into the bedroom and, glancing at the clock, I see that it’s five till seven. I should go downstairs. I root in my suitcase and find my small black handbag and shove a few things inside it. The silence in the room is deafening.

“Don’t go,” his voice is soft and it breaks in the middle, jumping an octave and I close my eyes, trying to force down the wave of emotion that threatens to swallow me whole.

“Justin,” I say warningly, grabbing my jewelry bag and rummaging through it to find my silver dangly earrings.

“You don’t have to go,” he says quietly, shifting from foot to foot, his eyes wide and imploring. “I can go down and say you’re sick, or you have to work on your thesis… or that you’re my girlfriend.”

The last part is so quiet I barely hear it but the effect that it has on me is unfathomable even to me. Panic, adrenaline hot as lava shoots through my veins and I charge toward him, terror making me nervous and hot.

“Don’t…” I say my voice low, and I swallow hard, my tongue like cotton in my mouth. “Don’t ever say anything like that again.”

He looks down and away, the way he does when his mother tells him he’s getting a little too big for his breeches, or when the vocal coach scolds him for doing too many runs in a song. My chest is heaving, my body trembling slightly.

“But I could… I would,” he says softly. “We don’t have to keep it a secret. People will understand. We are in-”

“People will not understand, Justin!” I exclaim, cutting him off, my mind fighting to wrap my head around what he’s saying. He can’t be serious. “You’re seventeen years old. I’m your teacher. Do you understand that I could go to jail for what we’ve done?”

“My mom wouldn’t press charges,” Justin starts but I snort disbelievingly and he scowls down at me. One thing Justin hates more than anything is being interrupted. “She wouldn’t!”

“Yeah,” I say condescendingly. “She was so understanding when she caught you having sex before. She practically threw a parade.”

“Don’t talk about my mother,” he growls and I silence instantly, knowing I’ve hit a serious nerve and while I’m looking to deter him, I don’t really want to hurt him.

“You promised me,” I say lowly. “You promised me that if we started this thing you would keep your mouth shut. That was the only thing I asked of you. To keep your mouth shut.”

“But-”

“No buts!” I exclaim and I take a deep breath, stealing myself for what I have to say next. “I’m not your girlfriend, Justin. We’re not in a relationship and…” I pause, gritting my teeth, “I have no emotional attachment to you whatsoever. It’s just sex.”

His eyes are hard and unblinking and his hands are fisted at his sides, jaw clenched. His chest is heaving and I can tell that it’s taking everything in him not to fly into a rage. The fact that he’s even trying to hold it in is a testament to how much he’s grown since I’ve known him.

“You don’t mean that,” he says finally after a moment, shaking his head and jutting his chin out defiantly.

I swallow hard, praying that my voice stays steady. “I do.”

“No,” he says shaking his head and laughing slightly. “No… you don’t,” he says and then he repeats it emphatically. “No, you don’t!”

“Justin,” I say stepping forward and reaching to touch his face but I stop myself, letting my hand fall to my side. “You’re sweet,” I sigh. “You’re a sweet boy and you deserve a nice girl that can give you what you want.”

“Boy?” he asks and I wince. I chose the word knowingly, deliberately, but that doesn’t make his reaction to it any less brutal. “Since when do you call me a boy? Last time I checked, my dick got hard like a man and I fucked you like a man.”

“Justin,” I sigh but he cuts me off with a wave of his hand.

“No, I don’t need a nice girl to give me what I want. I have you. You give me what I want. You’re a nice girl…well, right now you’re being a bitch but usually you’re a nice girl.”

I give him a condescending look and roll my eyes, pulling my black heels from my suitcase and slipping them on before grabbing my purse off the bed. I see his eyes climbing up my legs. He loves it when I wear heels. 

“Don’t go tonight, Skylar,” Justin says, his voice low and threatening and I laugh in his face, the action almost hurting me as I push the sound out.

“Yeah,” I say, moving past him to open the door, “I’ll do that.”

And with that I step out of the door and leave him, my chest tightening with every step.

***

I have never laughed so hard in my life. My ribs are aching as I stumble back to the car, Khefren’s arm warm around my waist. Tonight… tonight has easily been one of the best nights of my life. He was the first thing I saw when I stepped off the elevator, waiting next to a table adorned with a vase of fresh flowers. His face lit up in a grin when he saw me and I was pulled forward by the warmth of his smile. He plucked a Gerber daisy from the flower display and presented it to me, which I took with a giggle, a blush warming my face.

The ride to the restaurant was filled with pleasant banter and careful innuendo and for the life of me I didn’t see how I’d gone two months without him. The way he would look at me from the corner of his eye as he drove, or when he would turn to face me, eyes wide in shock when I’d said something particularly scandalous.

“Skylar!” he had exclaimed, chuckling disbelievingly. “What on earth has gotten into you since I left? You’re downright sassy!”

I had laughed out loud at his choice of words, but he was right. I have become more bold since I’ve seen him last. Having steady sex always seems to do that to me. Justin… I had nearly gasped as his boyish face planted itself in my minds eye, smirking and licking his lips seductively. I had shaken my head, trying to rid myself of the image and I did…but only for a little while.

Dinner was intimate, Khefren having taken me to a small Italian restaurant that, if he hadn’t known where it was, I would have walked right past it. Inside it was quiet, the lights low and the tables were small enough to lean over and kiss, as many of the patrons were wont to do.

I found myself staring at him as he perused his menu, taking in the smooth curve of his jaw, the pinkness of his lips. The way his tongue was running along the inside of his mouth as he weighed his decision between the manicotti and the salmon, much the same way Justin’s tongue did when he was surveying me, trying to make a decision as whether to grab me right then or wait just a little bit longer. Justin… I had cleared my throat and abruptly asked him what he’d been up to, banishing Justin’s face from my brain but he was still there. He was always there.

Khefren had told me he had taken some time off, traveled a little. When I had asked where he blushed and my stomach somersaulted. Maybe I had missed him after all. Maybe… maybe Justin was a compensation for him. Justin…

I’d snapped back into the moment when he mentioned he’d gone to Egypt and I was enraptured, hanging on his every word as he told me of the pyramids and the culture and the art.

“You went to museums?” I had asked, the shock evident in my voice. “I thought you told me you hated museums?”

“I wanted something to be able to talk with you about,” he had said, grinning at me bashfully and I was more than shocked. But then he looked up at me, his face solemn and serious, the flecks of gold in his eyes shining in the candle light as he said. “I’ve missed you, Skylar.”

It took my breath away. That he had missed me all this time. That he had longed for me in some way, shape, or form. That he had gone all the way to Egypt because it made him feel close to me. He told me these things, his voice hushed, his hand reaching the small distance across the table to take mine. I was completely lost in him.

He told me about how he’s been working on a few theatrical productions in his home town, just waiting for the fall tours to start. He told me bashfully how he’d spent the five hour drive here rehearsing what he was going to say when he saw me again. He told me he’d never stopped thinking about me, that I was always in the back of his mind. That the drive was nothing if it meant he’d get to see me again.

And now… now as we’re giggling our way back to the car, I’m looking at him differently. Or more likely, the same as before…before Justin. I shove his face away. This is not about Justin tonight. This is about me. This is about me doing the right thing. For once.

He opens my car door for me and I slide inside, my body tingling, tingling the way it does with… I push it down. I watch Khefren hurry around the front of the car and slide in the driver’s seat, watching him for a moment before the light goes out and he’s a mere silhouette against the night. He turns to me and all I can see are his eyes, shining through the darkness.

He’s staring at me intently, teeth working his bottom lip and I can feel my heart quickening. He leans over the center console and I hesitate for a moment. I hesitate and a thousand things are running through my mind. How this has been the best date I’ve ever had. Accept for that date at the museum. That was not a date! How Khefren looks at me, how his eyes soften and hold mine with an uneasy confidence. Justin’s gaze is smoldering, deep blue eyes adoring and needy. This is NOT about Justin.

I take a deep breath and lean in, my lips finding Khefren’s in the dark. He’s slightly taken aback by my forwardness but returns my kiss earnestly, his hand going up to cup my face gently. My hand moves to fist in the soft cotton of his polo, tugging him closer and his arm that was supporting him on the console slips down and he struggles to retain his balance, his hand falling onto my thigh and gripping as he catches himself. I gasp into his mouth and he starts to pull back but I keep a firm grip on his shirt, pressing my lips harder into his and he stays where he is, hand pressing warmly on my upper thigh.

This is what I need, I think. This, with him, this frantic scrambling for each other, this passion for someone… someone other than… I pull back gasping, my chest heaving as a deep burning pain lodges itself between my ribs. How can I do this to him? Justin adores me, he cares for me, more deeply than I do. The pain stabs me again and I gasp. Khefren’s hand is caressing my cheek and I try to concentrate on it. I try to think of only him, but deep blue eyes are all I see. I push it down.

“Skylar?” It’s Khefren’s voice, low and deep, slightly breathless and I grip his face in my hands tugging him into a passionate kiss that sets my skin on fire.

I definitely need this. His hand is snaking down to my knee, searching for the hem of my dress, searching for my skin. He finds it, soft fingers caressing my inner knee, softer than Justin’s guitar-calloused fingertips. My arm moves to wrap around Khefren’s neck, pressing my heaving chest to his as his free hand moves to grab at my waist, trying to tug me closer. The hand on my thigh is inching higher and my stomach is quivering in anticipation (or is it dread?), my tongue sliding hotly against his.

“Skylar,” he heaves, pulling back from me panting and I’m panting too, swallowing hard, hands grabbing at his chest, just touching, enjoying the feel of the unfamiliar. “Do… do you wanna go back to…” he swallows hard, “my hotel room?”

My heart practically stops beating at his request. He’s panting, his eyes pleading and maybe this is exactly what I need. Justin has Britney now, and I have Khefren and we can finally stop this thing. We can let each other go. This is good for us. This is the right thing to do. Whether Justin will think so or not, it’s the right thing to do.

“Yes,” I pant, my hand moving up to smooth down his face. “Yes, let’s go.”