what do you do

when you know something's bad for you

and you still can't let go...?

Casey rubbed her eyes and stretched.

"Damnit," she thought to herself. He was gone again.

As she stretched her arm out, her hand hit a piece of paper resting on his pillow. She pulled it toward her body and squinted as she began to read.

Hey Baby Case-

Thanks for last night... it was just what I needed and I know I can always count on you. I had to head to the Garden early for rehearsal. There will be passes waiting for you at the box office... you know what they're under.

Love you sunshine,

J

Casey rolled her eyes. How typical of Justin. He had landed in Boston the night before, calling her as he arrived at the hotel with the usual lines, hey baby, I'm in town, I miss you. Just like she did every time he was in town, she showed up at the hotel. And just like every morning, before she would wake up, he'd be gone.

i was naive, your love was like candy

artificially sweet, i was deceived by the wrapping

got caught in your web, and i learned how to bleed

i was prey in your bed and devoured completely

Her relationship with Justin started innocently enough. They met through friends out at a bar and hit it off right away. Innocent flirtation that night led to a series of group and individual dates whenever he was in town. After a year of innocent flirtation, she had received a frantic phone call from Justin. He was in Baltimore, he said, for a club show and he needed to see her.

********

The cab pulled in front of the Renaissance Hotel, and Casey walked inside to room 311, just as Justin had instructed in the voicemail he had left her earlier in the day. As she closed the door behind her, she smiled and covered her heart. Justin had left out a bouquet of roses resting on the bed with a note. As she approached, she picked up both the bouquet and the note and began to read.

Hey Baby Case-

Welcome to Baltimore. I'm at a radio interview right now so call down to the front desk, they're going to have a towncar waiting to take you to the station. I'm so glad you're here.

-J

As she went to put the note down, she noticed that an all access pass fell out of the folds. She smiled, quickly dropped her bags, and placed her roses inside of a vase left on the dresser. Hurriedly, she called the front desk. The towncar arrived, taking her to the radio station, where Justin was pacing in the lounge, waiting.

i should have known that i was used for amusement

couldn't see through the smoke, it was all an illusion

As she waited for him to emerge from the booth after his interview, she paced. The roses, the plane ticket, the hotel, it was all moving so fast for her. Sure, she was crazy about Justin, but she felt like she knew nothing about him other than what she could learn about him through his public image. The only thing she was able to figure about him on her own was the fact that he was fucking hot.

She snapped out of her haze when that all too familiar voice rang out. "Baby Case!"

Justin ran to her, lifting her off the ground with a tight hug. "Damn, ma, I've missed you so much!"

She giggled, wrapping her arms tightly, taking in the smell of his soap.

"Hey Justin," she managed, looking up, mesmerized by his crystal blue eyes. Never in her life had she ever wanted a man so badly.

He softly placed her on her feet. "I have to admit something."

She continued to stare into his eyes, noticing that they were taking on a different shade, his voice growing soft.

"Hmmm...?" she started.

He kept a hand resting on her side but brought his right hand up to play with her hair.

"I haven't been able to get you off my mind since the last time we went out," he started, running his fingers through her long black hair.

She felt her heart begin to pound as Justin's face moved closer to hers.

He continued, voice becoming deeper, "And... all I can imagine his how incredible your lips are going to taste..."

At that very moment, time seemed to stop as Justin's lips brushed against her. It felt like a thousand volts of electricity were rushing through her body, as she reached up to his hair, tangling her fingers in it as she deepened the kiss. She whimpered softly as his hand rested on the small of her back, drawing her closer into his body. She grabbed onto his arms for support, not sure she would be able to support her legs any longer.

The kisses continued into the towncar, to the hotel elevator, growing deeper and more passionate. She felt as though no other man was able to awaken the feelings inside of her the way Justin could. Pushing the emergency stop button, Justin pulled her into his body with a smirk.

now i've been licking my wounds

but the venom seeps deeper

we both can seduce

but darling you hold me prisoner

Pinned against the wall, Casey groaned softly. "Ugh Justin..." he began softly placing kisses along her cheek, down her jaw and neck, sucking softly and lightly.

He whispered, his hot breath making the hairs on her neck stand up.

"You taste even better than I imagined."

“Oh god Justin…” she panted, leaning her head back against the smooth metal of the elevator.

As Justin smirked, eighteen months of pent up sexual frustration getting the best of him, he slid off her black tank top, placing a trail of kisses down her body.

She wasn't sure if she was floating or falling, but Justin sent her body flying on a high unlike anything she had ever felt.

oh i'm about to break

i can't stop this ache

i'm addicted, your allure

and i'm feigning for a cure

every step i take

leads to one mistake

i keep going right back to the one thing that i need…

As the elevator resumed its ascent to the fifth floor, Casey had her first taste of heaven.

And that's how their relationship continued for the next six months. He needed her, he called, she'd come, they'd fuck. And just exactly as the time before, he'd be gone before the sun came up, and she was left to deal with the feelings he gave her. And just as expected, here she was again, tangled up in the plush sheets of the Ritz Carlton in Boston. His FutureSex/LoveShow brought him back to the area for the fourth time in six months, allowing her to get that incredible taste of passion and desire then just like the worst tease, it was taken it away from her again.

Seems I’ll never wake from this nightmare

I let out a silent prayer, let it be over, over

Inside I’m screaming, begging pleading

No more

My heart has been bruised

So sad, but it’s true

Each beat reminds me of you

****

Fighting back tears, Casey reread the note. Love you, Sunshine. Fuck that. He always knew just how to play at her emotions and make her feel as though she was the only woman in his life. She knew there was someone else. When he thought she was asleep at night, she heard him creeping to the other end of the room and talking softly on the phone with what she assumed was another woman. She saw the pictures in the magazines, heard the whispers of those around her. Everytime she would try and bring up their relationship to him, he would skirt around the issue and feed her the lines he knew she’d want to hear. Each time, she wanted to scream in his face that she just wanted the truth. She didn’t want the theatrical Justin Timberlake with the smoke and mirrors and elegance that accompanied his lifestyle, she just wanted him. But, he couldn’t give that to her so she knew that she only had one choice—to walk away.

Taking a deep breath, she walked to the desk and grabbed the hotel stationary. Biting her lip gently, she began to write:

Justin-

This isn’t working for me anymore. You and I aren’t meant to be together—I’m just another girl you can “have” that you brag to your friends about. But I’m in it for so much more… I’ve fallen and hard. Before I go, I just need you to know a few things. When you smile, you get this wrinkle in the corner of your left eye. When you laugh, your eyes turn a deep color of ocean blue. I’m not sure whoever you’re with knows all of these things about you, but I wish the both of you a happy life together.

-Casey

I can’t mend this torrid state I’m in

Getting nothing in return

What did I do to deserve

The pain of this slow burn

Everywhere I turn

I keep going back to the one thing that I need

To walk away from

The door closed behind her, and she sunk down to the ground, holding her head in her hands. She had done it. She had walked away from Justin, the man she had sworn she had fallen in love with. Sighing, she felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, but empty all the same.

Just as she was about to rise and head back to her apartment, there loomed a figure over her.

“Baby Case,” he began, “I decided to skip my interview today.”

He bent down and brushed his hand against her cheek. “I need to be with you… I couldn’t get you off my mind this morning… come out for lunch with me? Sonsie and some shopping sound alright?”

She sighed softly, allowing herself to be lifted into his arms. She couldn’t walk away from this man. No matter how hard she tried, she’d always run back to his arms and savor the kisses that made her feel so alive.