The sound of the alarm going off literally made me jump up in bed, “Calm down,” Ray said softly before getting up and wrapping her naked body in a robe. I fell back down in bed but couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She turned around, “What?”
“Nothing,” I laughed, wiping the sleep from my eyes, “Should I sneak out while your brother is still asleep?”
“He’s probably already awake. I have to go to the doctor though, so if you want to leave you can.”
“What doctor?”
“For my uh… well our…” She rubbed her stomach. She still has a problem actually verbalizing the fact that there’s a kid in there.
“For what?”
“The test thingy, with the camera.”
I nodded my head; she is not good about talking about the baby. We haven’t really talked about it too much in the past few weeks, I guess because we’ve been busy planning a wedding, a honeymoon, and moving into a house. She ran off into the bathroom before I could say anything else. I pulled my boxers on and followed her into the bathroom where she was curled over the toilet, “Are you alright?”
She responded by throwing up even more. I would say she is not all right. I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and pulled her hair out of her face. “Morning sickness huh?”
“Yeah,” she stopped for a second and stood up, quickly washing her face and then brushing her teeth, “So gross.”
“Have you been sick a lot?”
Ray nodded her head, “it sucks.”
I didn’t know she was getting so sick. “Good thing I didn’t drink too much last night or we’d be fighting over the toilet.”
She laughed a little before turning on the water in the shower and stepping out of her robe, “I need to take a shower before I go.”
I nodded my head, “Do you want me to come with you for the ultrasound?”
“You don’t have to,” she paused and leaned up against the towel rack, “gosh, I feel so lightheaded.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t take a shower then Ray,” I said as I helped her stand up.
“I have to, I’m gross,” she stepped into the shower and it was only a matter of seconds before she was leaning up against the wall trying to hold herself up. I jumped in with her and held her up, helping her wash up as best I could, “Thanks Justin.”
“You’re fine. I’ll come with you.”
She nodded her head again as she put shampoo in her hair and I helped rub it in, “Is this our future? You giving me showers?”
“Sure,” I laughed.
“Us taking a shower together and not even trying to fuck. That’s sad.”
“You can hardly stand up, I don’t think now is a good time for the shower fuck.”
She giggled and wrapped her arms around my waist, “We can go by the house after the doctor’s and maybe I’ll feel better for a shower fuck then.”
“Maybe,” I kissed her forehead, “I do want to see how it’s going.”
I helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in a towel, “Thank you.”
We went to the doctors without any major problems. I guess that’s a plus to moving out here, there’s not as many paparazzi following you around. I can just imagine how many problems there would be if there were pictures of us going into the doctors together. I followed Ray into a back entrance where we could go in without anyone seeing us. The doctor came in right away. I don’t think I have ever gone into a back entrance and had the doctor come right in for me. I usually have to wait just like everyone else. I mean, they let me go in a room instead of sitting out there with the rest of the people, but still I’m stranded in the small room for at least forty-five minutes forced to read brochures about hepatitis and the common cold.
The fact is I’m a little upset that she gets this special treatment. I know I shouldn’t be. I know she gets this special treatment because it’s a secret mission and no one is supposed to know she’s pregnant. I also know her father is probably paying this doctor a couple grand to do what she’s doing.
“Hi Rainbow. It’s good to see you again sweetie,” the doctor came in, “And you must be…”
“Justin,” I held my hand out for her to shake, “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” she sat down, “How is everything going? It’s been a very stressful few weeks for you two.”
“Yeah, it’s almost over though,” Ray said with a smile.
“That’s right, tomorrow is the big day,” she said with a smile, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.”
Fine? She spent the morning curled over the toilet and couldn’t even stand up long enough to take a shower. How is that fine? “She was sick this morning, and lightheaded right?” I spoke up for her.
Ray gave me a look telling me that I shouldn’t have said anything. I would think now would be the perfect time to ask a doctor about it. “It was just a little morning sickness.”
The doctor nodded her head and wrote something down, “Nothing major?”
“No.” Ray answered quickly.
“She couldn’t stand up.”
“You couldn’t stand up?”
“I was just lightheaded, I needed a second to like, get my balance. I’m just stressed and I’m getting married tomorrow, I’ll be fine after all that.”
“And you’re going on your honeymoon right after? Where are you going?”
“Bora Bora.”
“Oh, beautiful. I’m going to give you some B6 vitamin and ginger tablets to take while you’re there. It will help with the morning sickness. Make sure you get plenty of sleep and take naps during the day. Try to eat a cracker before you get out of bed in the morning, which will help it as well. When you get a craving eat, it won’t bother you. And if it’s the smell of certain things that is getting to you carry with you some lemon essential oil and just put it on a handkerchief if you’re feeling sick and breathe it in.”
I don’t think Ray is even paying attention. She’s just nodding but there’s no way she’s getting everything, “Can you write that down?” I asked and the doctor smiled.
“Yes, I’m going to give you a paper about it. As for the lightheadedness you need to lie down as soon as you feel that way. If you can’t lie down sit down with your head between your legs. Lay on your left side, that will maximize the blood flow to your brain. Just make sure you’re eating and drinking enough. And make sure you lay down right away because it can hurt the baby if you were to faint. Any other questions?”
I was about to ask her if she could write that down too but she spoke up before I could, “I’ll write that down too.”
“Thank you.”
“Your very welcome,” she laughed, “It’s great to see you so concerned Justin. Rainbow, why don’t you lay down and we’ll get the ultrasound going. “ Ray laid down and I stood next to her so I could see the baby. I’m far more excited about this than I thought I would be. “It’s going to be cold, but it’s not going to hurt. “ She rubbed some stuff all over Ray’s stomach that is still completely flat. It’s weird to think my kid is inside there when she’s so skinny.
“Shouldn’t she be fatter?” I regretted that as soon as it came out, “Not fatter, bigger.” It’s too late to fix it, I shouldn’t even try.
“No Justin, she’ll get bigger soon,” the doctor laughed and Ray gave me a look like I should probably shut up. I nodded my head and sat down so I could get a good view of the screen and not be in the way. She started rubbing Ray’s stomach and at first it looked like nothing but then I could see a circle and apparently that is my kid. “There you go. Can you see it?”
“I see it. That’s so cool, do you see it Ray?”
“I see it.”
“Everything looks great,” the doctor said as she moved it around to see different angles, “Everything is healthy. Any questions?”
“Can we get a picture?”
“Of course. I’ll get that for you and have the receptionist come in and set up another appointment for you; I’d like to see you when you get back from your honeymoon just to check in. It was good to see you again Rainbow, nice to meet you Justin.”
“Thank you, you too,” I stood up and shook her hand before she left. Ray sat up and pulled her shirt down covering her stomach again. She took a deep breath and grabbed her Blackberry from her purse, “That’s amazing huh? That’s our baby.”
“It’s a circle.”
I didn’t know exactly how to react to that. The roles seem to be reversed with her. Ray is not very motherly, at least not so far. I’m sure she will be at some point. Fuck, I hope she is. I would think all females have that gene that they automatically know how to take care of a baby. But Ray grew up without her mother so god knows if she has that gene at all. All I’m saying is it makes me a little nervous when she’s looking at our baby for the first time and she says it’s a circle.
As we drove towards the new house Ray was very quiet. “Are you feeling alright?”
She nodded her head but continued looking out the window. “I’m really craving a Frostie and fries, can you stop?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It feels morally wrong to be standing here in front of a mirror in a small room in a church, just minutes before getting married to the man that knocked me up. I really did not think we should be getting married in a church but for some reason Daddy insisted on it. We are not very religious; I can’t even remember the last time I went to church. And I know Daddy doesn’t go to church either. Usually they make you go through all this pre-marriage counseling and make you plan a wedding eight months in advance. But, I guess money can even buy the church.
“I’m going to throw up Izzy.”
“You’re just nervous, you look beautiful.”
“No, I really feel sick. My body is telling me this is a bad idea.”
“Calm down, it’s normal to be nervous.”
“OK, but not this nervous. It’s kind of morally wrong to be doing this in a church no? I mean I’m lying in front of God.”
“You’re not really lying. You like him.”
“I don’t love him.”
“You’ll grow to love him,” Izzy laughed at the look I gave her, “He’s a good guy, you’re cute together. You’re going to be happy and it’s going to work out. Just calm down. “
I nodded my head and took a deep breath. I need to calm down.
Justin’s mother walked in and her mouth dropped open when she saw me, “You look absolutely gorgeous,” she looks like she’s going to cry.
“Thank you, you look beautiful.”
“Oh sweetie, it’s not about me it’s about you. How are you doing?”
“Good,” I nodded my head, “I’m just a little nervous.”
“There’s nothing to be nervous about darling.”
“How’s Justin?”
“He’s good, he’s excited.”
“He’s not nervous?” she shook her head, “Not at all?” Why is he not nervous? I’m like standing here having an inner crisis and he’s not even a little nervous. What the hell?
“No, he’s excited. It’s perfectly normal to be nervous. It’s just a day, it’s not difficult, you just walk down and look beautiful which you do naturally and repeat after the pastor. It’s really nothing to worry about sweetheart. You’re going to be happy together, you’re doing the right thing,” she gave me a hug before leaving.
“How is he not nervous Izz? How is he not even a little nervous?”
“Relax Rayne, that’s good. He’s falling for you. He’s not nervous because he knows it’s a good decision.”
Then why am I the only one that doesn’t know it’s a good decision?
My throat is closing. I feel like my throat is going to close up and I’m not going to be able to breathe. I’m nervous most days of my life. Every night before I go on stage I get nervous, I pace and I bite at my lip and I tap my fingers, but I’ve never felt like my throat is closing. That can’t be good.
I cleared my throat over and over again and in a minute I’m going to start doing some voice exercises. “Just think, you get to fuck Rainbow Dontayo every night,” I heard Trace’s voice and remembered he was standing with me the whole time.
“Dude, we’re in church.”
He laughed, “It’s true, I’m jealous.”
“You’re jealous?” this kid is fucking insane, “Jealous? Dude, her brother threatened to kill me… twice. Her father is crazy and needs everything perfect so he can impress his fucking friends. Al Pacino and fucking Dustin Hoffman are sitting in the third row at my fucking wedding Trace. “
“Alright, relax, damn,” he handed me a bottle of water, “just breathe dude, it’s not a big deal.”
How exactly it is not a big deal is beyond me. Last time I checked marriage was kind of a big deal. Getting a girl pregnant was kind of a big deal as well. Oh fuck. I’m pacing and running my hands through my hair. We need to get this fucking thing going before I run away. I need to think of the positive. We’re doing the right thing. She’s having my child and the right thing to do for the baby is to get married so it has a mother and a father. I like the girl, I mean, I don’t love her but there’s a chance I could possibly fall in love with her. It’s just going to be hard to stand up there in front of all my family and friends and lie.
“How are you doing sweetie?” I heard my mother’s cheerful voice and turned around to face her. “You look so handsome,” she is not even the slightest big nervous. I would be able to know, she’s horrible at hiding her nerves. I’m standing here ready to shit myself and she’s smiling like it’s her dream day when I’m getting married to the woman I love.
“I’m shaking,” was my answer. I can’t decide if I should tell her the truth about how I feel or pretend everything is going perfectly. It might be worth it to tell her I’m happy, it’s probably what she needs.
“Of course you are hunny, that’s normal. I was shaking on my wedding day too.”
I don’t think she gets it. I don’t think anyone fucking gets it. I’m about to get married to this girl. I don’t know anything about her. I got her pregnant. I know that. I know she doesn’t want the kid. I know she doesn’t even give a fuck that we could see the kid in an ultrasound. I know we’re not in love.
I know that it’s time for me to walk down the aisle and stand up there waiting for her to come out. I took deep breaths to calm myself down so I don’t fall over. I looked out at everyone and smiled to hide my fear. The music started playing and everyone stood up. Izzy walked down first and then it seemed like forever before Ray was standing at the other end of the church. The music stopped. I’m aware that it probably didn’t stop but I couldn’t hear anything. It was like something out of a movie, I couldn’t hear anything all I could see was Ray. She looks absolutely gorgeous.
She also looks scared to death. She held onto her father’s arm without a smile on her face. I hoped she’d be smiling. Come to think of it, I hoped I’d be smiling but I don’t think I am. I smiled. All right, I need to stop with the nerves and just do this. As she walked down the aisle I saw a smile come on her face, as she got closer.
They stopped in front of me; her father kissed her and then shook my hand before placing Ray’s hand in mine.
“Hi,” Ray said softly.
“Hi, you’re beautiful.”
“Thanks, you’re hot.”
“I really thought I was going to pass out,” I said as we drove to the reception hall, followed by about ten thousand cars of paparazzi.
“Me too,” Justin laughed, “But we did it. We’re married.”
“Yeah, it’s weird to say that. I thought it was the whole being pregnant thing that was making me lightheaded. I was about ready to lay down on my left side like the doctor said.”
Justin laughed, “That would have been priceless.”
“I know, it would have made history,” I laughed, “I so wish I could drink.”
Justin grabbed onto my hand, “I won’t drink either.”
“That’s dumb, you can drink.” I moved closer to him and kissed him gently.
“Alright, I’ll drink,” he said with a smile before kissing me.
“I wish we could skip the reception and go right to the hotel room,” I undid his belt.
“What are you doing baby?”
“Sucking your dick.”
I heard the screen between the limo driver and the back go up. I didn’t realize that it was open. Justin had no complaints and I can’t help myself I just love his taste. He ran his hands through my hair carefully. He knew not to mess it up but can’t help himself. Justin always needs to grab onto my head when I’m sucking on his.
“I could get used to this,” Justin said with a laugh when I finished.
“Me too,” I smiled and grabbed his hand, rubbing it up my skirt.
“Fuck, you’re not wearing panties?”
I shook my head and bit at my lip looking up at him.
“You didn’t wear panties to fucking church where we got married.” I gave him a half smile and he laughed, “You’re fucking wet.”
“I know. What are you doing to do about it?”
Justin kissed my neck as his fingers slid inside me. I could hear myself moan just as the limo came to a stop. “Shit,” he said as he pulled out of me, “We’ll have to finish this later,” he laughed.
Infatuation by Lily
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