Infatuation by Lily
It’s been a week since I took the test and here I am sitting on the floor of the shower letting the water fall over me. The only place I will ever cry is in the shower because the tears blend right in with the water. I just came back from the doctor’s office. She told me I am pregnant.
She said congratulations.
I don’t know why she chose to say congratulations. This is definitely not something I should be congratulated about. Congratulations your life is over. Congratulations your father is going to disown you. Congratulations you got pregnant by a man who you only slept with to get back at his girlfriend. Congratulations you didn’t use a condom. Congratulations you’re that 0.1% that gets pregnant even when you’re on birth control. Congratulations you’re going to loose your body and become a fat mother with mom underwear and mom jeans. Congratulations you are never going to have a boyfriend again or even a man to come over and fuck you because you will forever be with child.
Good luck.
She should have said good luck.
Good luck, I hope you don’t kill yourself before this fucking kid pops out of you. I hope you don’t run out of money and have to live in a one-room studio after your father cuts you off. I hope you get used to spending your nights at home taking care of a crying, burping, pooping, throwing up infant instead of going out and having fun. I hope you get used to the fact that you no longer have a life.
The doctor was able to help me narrow it down and tell me exactly what week it was that I got pregnant. So the father is definitely Justin. Not that I wish it was Gabe, but at least I know him. I know I could deal with him around for the rest of my life if I had to. I don’t even know Justin. All I know about him is that he has a stupid whore for a girlfriend and he fucks me really good. That’s definitely not enough to know that I’ll have to live with him for the rest of my life, even if it’s only a couple days a week when he picks it up for the weekend.
Who even says he would want to be part of its life. Maybe I shouldn’t even tell him. I have to tell him. I could just get an abortion, but I don’t know how I feel about that. I should at least talk it over with him first.
How the hell am I going to bring that up? Hey Justin, want to come over and fuck me really hard? Oh and about that… funny thing… remember about a month ago when you fucked me really hard, yeah you got me pregnant.
Congratulations.
Good Luck.
“Mister, Mister, did you know that the Great Wall of China is the only thing that’s made by people that you can see from outer space?”
“Yeah, the Great Wall of China and your dad’s house.” I answered with a laugh but Janelle just looked at me like I was crazy.
“No suh, just the Great Wall.”
“I know, it was a joke,” I answered softly. Why I am stuck in this room with a nine year old is beyond me. I’m watching my manager’s daughter for a few minutes while he talks to the record label. It’s very exciting. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I’m usually good with kids, but there’s just something about this kid that makes me realize how happy I am that I am not a father.
“Did you know that the average person eats 35,000 cookies in their lifetime?”
“I did not know that.”
“Did you know that the first umbrella’s were used in Connecticut in 1740?”
“Did they call it an umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh?”
“What?” she gave me a look, “Did you know that every minute 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites?”
I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, the question is not do I know its do I care?
The answer is no.
“Did you know that it’s national farm animal appreciation week?” I shook my head, “What are you going to do to celebrate?”
“Probably go have a burger.”
“That’s not funny. I’m going vegetarian this week, you should too.”
“Oh I definitely will.”
“Did you know that every 24 hours the human race consumes approximately 2 billion insects?”
“That’s disgusting.”
“No, it’s protein.”
This kid is going to have serious issues when she grows up.
“Did you know that the first one hundred digits of pi are 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097…”
“Alright, enough!” I stood up. She was really going to keep going, “Let’s talk about something else alright?”
“OK. Did you know that if you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950 because the heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom?”
“That’s really good to know Janelle. Thank you so much for educating me today.”
She smiled, “You’re welcome.” Clearly she did not get the sarcasm but that’s fine, “Did you know that…”
“Seriously Janelle, I can’t take it anymore.” I broke in, “I got a headache, can you just be quiet for a couple minutes?”
She sat down for the first time she’s been here all day. I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair enjoying the silence for once. I picked up my Sidekick and checked my messages and made a few text messages. I looked up to see that she was literally sitting on her hands trying to keep herself quiet, “Alright, one more.”
“Ok, ok this is a good one. Thirteen people a year are killed by vending machines falling on them.”
“No way.”
“Yeah huh, seriously.”
“That is a good one, that’s funny. Not funny, interesting.”
“Yeah, want another one?” not really, it wasn’t that good. She’s annoying as hell; this is why I do not have kids. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to deal with a kid like that 24/7. She’s been here for 10 minutes and I’m ready to kill her.
Luckily my phone rang and gave me an excuse to walk away for a minute. It’s Ray. “Hey”
“Hi. Want to come over?” she just gets right to it. I like that.
“Now?”
“Whenever.”
“Alright, I’ll come by later.”
“That’s fine. Alright I’ll see you later Justin.”
“Bye.” I flipped my phone shut.
“Who was that?”
“A friend.”
“You’re girlfriend? Ohhhh.”
“No, not my girlfriend. Ohhhh.” This nine year old is really driving me crazy.
“How come you said you’d come by? Where are you going?”
I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair, “Janelle you really shouldn’t listen while people are talking on the phone, it’s called eavesdropping.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong you were talking and I’m sitting right here. You know that the average person spends two years on the phone?”
“Yeah, I know.” Maybe if I tell her I know it she’ll be able to stop. I feel like she couldn’t possibly stop.
The door opened and thank god my manager came out and the girl shut up. Now she can annoy her father.
I paced around my house waiting for him to come over. I have no idea how I’m going to tell him. I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should just start right away, or wait. This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
I bit at my lip and managed to sit down on the couch for a few seconds. I don’t even know when he’s coming. That’s what makes it even harder; he said he’d be around later. I rubbed my stomach, it’s hard to understand that there’s a baby in there. That’s just weird.
There was a knock on my door and I slowly made my way to answer it. Justin was standing there with a smile and a bottle of wine. “How are you doing?”
“Hey,” I smiled as he kissed my forehead. He can be cute sometimes. That’s a plus. He’s never really been a bad person… then again I just met him a little more than a month ago and have really only met him to have sex.
“You sounded stressed on the phone, are you alright?” I nodded my head to answer because I didn’t want to come right out and lie to him. I am all right, it’s not like I’m going to die or something. “You’ve been baking.”
“Yeah, help yourself” I answered. I hope he eats a lot of it so I don’t because I don’t need to get fat already. I guess he hasn’t realized that I only bake when shit is going on. I’m good at hiding my feelings though, I don’t expect him to figure it out.
“Thanks, I’m starving. Did you eat?” I shook my head, “I’m craving pizza, what are you thinking?”
“That’s fine.”
“Are you doing alright? You look like something’s wrong.” I nodded my head and he came and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. He really does know what he’s doing and what he does to me feels so good.
Justin rested his hands on my waist and then slowly ran his hands under my shirt before pulling it over my head. He kissed me gently, “I’ll make you feel better baby,” he whispered.
I knew that he could and would make me feel better. I also knew that it probably was not the best time for us to sleep together. But he really knows how to make it so I can’t even think and just let him do whatever it is he wants to do to me. He slowly undid my belt buckle and zipped my jeans down with one hand while he cradled my breasts with the other and kissed down my chest.
I felt myself getting picked up and gently placed on the couch where he quickly pulled his shirt off and his sweatpants down. Just looking at his naked body makes me so hot. He really is perhaps the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. I love the way he runs his hands all over my body as if he can’t get enough of me. He kisses my neck and whispers into my ear and the way he says my name as he’s pumping into me just makes me feel like I’m going to explode. His kisses make me tingle and I can’t take it anymore.
I called out his name as I reached my point and he called out mine. Just hearing him calling my name makes me weak. He doesn’t call my name he calls me Ray, no one has ever called me Ray before. And honestly, the way he says it makes me feel like no one can ever call me it besides him.
Justin kissed me passionately before rolling off of me catching his breath. I cuddled up to him and he quickly wrapped his arms around me pulling me onto his chest. “Feel better Ray?”
“Oh yeah.”
I could hear him giving me that sexy laugh, “Good.”
Well… here goes, “I have something I need to tell you.” I looked up at him and he quickly got this look on his face like he knew he should be worried.
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