“Hey, Emily, you aren’t dating anyone, are you?”

I looked up from my computer screen at Lucy, the hairstylist at Avidity, and smiled a bit. “No. Why?”

“Have I ever mentioned how good I am at setting people up?”

“Oh really.”

“I’m pretty sure I was a professional matchmaker in a past life.”

“Oh. Well…”

“See, I have this friend Tanner.”

I turned my chair to fully face Lucy. “Okay.”

“And I think he’d be totally perfect for you. He’s actually originally from Ohio like you and he works in marketing now.”

“I dunno how I feel about being set up.”

“You’d love him though. He’s super hot too. If I wasn’t engaged I’d totally be all over him.”

I laughed. “I’m just not so good on blind dates.”

“Come on, Em. It’s just one date. And I kind of already told him you’d say yes.”

My nose wrinkled a bit. “Lucy…”

“I promise you’ll have fun. Tanner’s an awesome guy. And if it doesn’t work I promise I’ll leave you alone.”

I sighed and bit my lip as I thought about it. “And he’s hot?”

“Gorgeous. Tall, dark hair, good tan. Imagine a younger version of Julian McMahon.”

A smile spread across my face. “Really?”

“Like I said, if I wasn’t engaged…”

“So when would this date be?”

“I could set it up for tonight if you’re not busy.”

I tapped my fingers against my desk. “Well…okay. Is he going to take me somewhere nice?”

Lucy picked up my phone. “How about I call him and you guys can figure it out?”

I smiled as she began to dial. I guess there’s no time like the present to get back on the dating wagon. Whew, especially if this date involves a young Christian Troy.

* * *

When I got home later that night, the apartment was silent. I changed out of my dress into some pajamas pants and a t-shirt and then went looking for Lola. I found her sitting out on the balcony, her feet propped up on the railing. Opening the sliding door, I stepped outside.

“Hey.”

Lola turned her head to look at me. “Hey. Did you just get home?”

I went over to sit on the chair beside her. “Yeah.”

“So how was the date?”

“It was…good.”

“Was he hot?”

I smiled and put my feet up next to hers. “He was really hot. Lucy wasn’t lying.”

“Christian Troy hot?”

“Pretty much. Dressed like him too.”

“Ugh, I’m jealous. You lucky, lucky girl. So where did you guys go?”

“Paris 21.”

“Ooh, fancy. He paid, right?”

“Like a true gentleman.”

Lola looked over at me. “So he’s hot, dresses well, takes you to an expensive restaurant and pays. Why aren’t you more excited?”

I sighed. I should have known she’d pick up on my mood. “I dunno.”

“What’s wrong with him? Is he married or something?”

I laughed a bit. “No, he’s not married. He was basically perfect. Handsome, charming, successful.”

“Yeah, I hate it when I find the perfect guy and I have to spend an entire night with him.”

I smiled. “He was pretty perfect.”

“But…”

“But it was just so weird. And not just because it’s been so long since I’ve been on a date. At first I thought it was just that but it wasn’t.”

“So what was it?”

“It was like all night all I could think of was Ben. And everything good about Tanner just made me think about everything bad about Ben.”

Lola didn’t comment.

“It’s like even now that Ben’s out of my life, he’s still screwing it up.”

“Maybe it’s time to just let it go and forget about it.”

“I thought I had.”

“Then I don’t know why you were thinking about him.”

“Me neither.” I sighed and leaned my head back against the chair. “Maybe it was a good thing. Tanner might have been a little too perfect.”

“How can a guy be too perfect?” Lola laughed.

“I don’t know. It’s just like I felt like he was too good for me and even though I’m sure he wasn’t trying to make me feel this way, I felt inferior. I need someone I can relate to more.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

I ran my hand through my hair and crossed my ankles. “I need a guy like Justin. If me and him weren’t such good friends, we’d be perfect together.”

“What about him is so good?”

“His personality and attitude are like mine so we get along but he’s different enough to keep things interesting.”

“You guys complement each other.”

“Yeah. And we always have so much fun together.”

It was silent again and I listened to a police siren from a nearby street. Lola finally broke the quiet.

“So correct me if I’m wrong, but I heard that when we were camping you and Justin bunked up together in a sleeping bag.”

I looked toward her. That was a public known fact now? “Who would you have heard that from?”

“Becca. Trace told her. And I’m assuming Justin told Trace.”

I groaned. “Glad to know the whole world knows about it.”

“So it’s true?”

“It was just the first night because it was so cold and all we had was our sleeping bags. Justin said body heat would work and it did.” I smiled a bit. “Besides, we were a little drunk still and it seemed like a good idea.”

“Of course it did. I’m sure you weren’t complaining.”

I shrugged. No point denying it. “It was kind of nice.” Leaning my head back against the chair again, I closed my eyes. I hate how Justin always has to tell Trace everything. If they want to have this close relationship, that’s fine. Great even. But Trace has this huge mouth and as soon as he hears anything good, he’s calling up someone to tell them. I wish Justin would figure that out.

The cordless phone ringing finally interrupted the silence and Lola picked it up. After a second, she handed it to me.

“Justin,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

I took it from her and brought it up to my ear. “Hello?”

“Hi. What’re you doing?”

“Sitting outside with Lola.”

“Wanna go for a walk?”

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

“Um…sure. Are you coming over here?”

“Yeah. I’m leaving right now.”

“Okay. See you in a bit.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Is he coming over here?” Lola asked once I had hung up.

“We’re going for a walk. Want to come?”

“I think I’d rather stay sitting.”

“Okay.”

“So maybe it’s just me but it seems like you and Justin have been spending a lot more time together than you used to.”

“Yeah, ever since I got back from Ohio we have been.”

“Any reason why?”

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I have all this free time now that I’m not dating Ben.”

“A single guy and single girl can never just be friends.”

I laughed and looked over at her. That was random. “What?”

“That’s what my grandma always told me. She always said that if a single guy and girl are friends, there’s always this sexual tension between them.”

“Uh huh.”

She smiled over at me. “So is my grandma right, Em?”

“I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve been with a guy. At this point I’m feeling sexual tension towards anything that moves.”

“Remind me to keep the cat away from you.”

I laughed and then sighed. “I think I really just need a boyfriend at this point. I miss it.”

“Well…you’ve got Justin handy. He’s single, right?”

“Yeah. But we’re too good of friends.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Because I wouldn’t want to mess with that. It just wouldn’t work out.” I stood up before Lola could try any further to convince me that Justin and I were meant to spend eternity together. “I’m going to go change before he gets here.”

Justin must have been speeding on his way here because I had just changed my clothes when Lola knocked on my door to tell me he was here.

“Justin called and wants you to meet him outside.”

I grabbed a hair elastic from my dresser and my keys. “Are you going to be up for a while?” I asked her as I went to the front door.

“No. I’m going to bed in a few minutes.”

“Kay, well I’ll see you tomorrow.’

“Have fun,” she sang as I opened the door.

I rolled my eyes. “I will. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I pulled the door shut behind me and went to the stairs. I was so going to be regretting staying out late when my alarm went off at seven tomorrow morning. But I wasn’t even tired after my night and going for a walk is better than sitting at home and watching TV.

Justin was standing by his car outside and I smiled when I saw he had brought his rottweiller, Char, with him.

“Hey, Char!” I said, bending down to pet the excited dog. “Are you coming for a walk with us?”

“She was driving me crazy,” Justin said. “She’s got an insane amount of energy tonight.”

“A walk will wear her out.”

“Hopefully. So where are we going?”

“There’s that park near here. And then you can let Char off her leash and she can run in the field.”

“Okay.”

Char leading the way, we left my apartment complex and headed towards the park. It was the perfect night for a walk. It was getting pretty dark out and there was a slight breeze in the air, a nice change from the hot weather we’d been having lately.

“Do you have to work tomorrow?” Justin asked as we walked.

“Yeah.”

“You’re going to be tired.”

I shrugged. “I’m not tired anyways. And it’s so nice outside.”

“Yeah it is.” Justin shoved his free hand in the pocket of his jacket. “So I hear you went on a blind date tonight.”

“Who told you that?”

“Becca mentioned it.”

“Have you ever mentioned how none of our friends can keep anything to themselves?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, everyone’s a gossip. So how was it? Who was the guy?”

“His name’s Tanner and he’s friends with Lucy from work.”

“Where’d you guys go?”

“Paris 21.”

“That must have made you happy. You love that place.”

“Yeah, it was really good. I’m still full.”

“So what was this guy like?”

I shrugged. “He was really nice and really good looking.”

“And you’re bummed about that why?”

“It just wasn’t that fun of a date.”

“Why?”

“Because I kept thinking about Ben and all that crap. I kind of felt bad for Tanner because I wasn’t all there.”

“Why were you thinking about Ben?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“Maybe you’re not over him.”

A small laugh escaped me. “I was over Ben the second I saw him having sex with that girl.”

“Then why were you thinking about him?” Justin asked for the second time as if I would have a different answer now than I did ten seconds ago.

“I don’t know.” I stuck my hands in the pocket of my hoodie. “Maybe…I don’t know. Lately it just feels like every night I go home and I just fall apart. I’m just always so exhausted.”

Justin looked over at me briefly and then back in front of him.

“I think I’ve just put so much of my energy into hating Ben that I have nothing left for anything else.”

“So is it really worth hating him then?”

“That’s just it. I can’t do this anymore.” I let out a large sigh. “I absolutely hate what he did to me and all that. But maybe the only way to make things better is to stop hating him and just…forgive him.”

“That would be really big of you to do, Em. Forgiving someone who cheated on you is not an easy thing.”

“It just seems like the only thing at this point though.” I stopped walking when we reached the park and Justin leaned down to let Char off her leash. She took off across the field and Justin and I trailed slowly behind.

“So does this mean you want to get back together with him?” Justin asked.

“No. I have no desire to ever date him again.” I sighed. “I’m just tired of hating him. And I’m sure you guys are all sick of having to divide your time between us.”

“Yeah.”

“So I just need to let it go completely and maybe things could go to some kind of version of normal.”

“You know it’ll still be awkward, right?”

“I know. And I know that it’s going to take some work to forgive him.” I sighed again. “But I just can’t keep doing this. It’s killing me.”

Justin put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him as we walked. “I know, Em.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Do you think that Ben will make it go easy?”

“I really don’t think he likes the current situation anymore than you do.”

“When I talk to him…” I paused for a moment. “Will you just…be there when I talk to him?”

“Do you really want an audience?”

“No. But you know how I am. And you know how I get when I get worked up. I just want to forgive Ben and be done with it. If I start getting worked up, I need you there to calm me down.”

“I can be there.”

“Thanks.”

He slid his arm from around me and squatted down to pet Char when she ran over to us. “So are you going to go on another date with this Tanner guy?”

“Probably not. He could do better.”

Justin looked up at me and then rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Em.”

“You didn’t see this guy, Justin. He was like perfect.”

He straightened and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “No one’s perfect.” He smiled. “Well, except me.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Yeah, you’re basically God.”

He picked up a stick from the ground and threw it across the field for Char to catch. “What time are you working tomorrow?”

“Nine to six. Same as always.”

“You should call in sick and we can go to the beach or something.”

“Can’t. There’s this big photo shoot tomorrow and I’m doing the makeup for it.”

“Oh. Maybe I’ll do something with Trace then.”

“Well call me later tomorrow and we can do something. I was going to go out with Charise but she’s ditching me for her boyfriend.”

“Sure.”

As awake as I had been feeling when we started the walk, tiredness quickly swept in. We only stayed at the park for another five minutes before going back. My apartment was dark and silent when I walked in after saying goodbye to Justin. I quietly went to the kitchen and flipped on the lights. In the middle of drinking a glass of water, my eyes landed on a note from Lola on the small whiteboard attached to the fridge door. I rolled my eyes as I read it. What is with that girl?

So I was thinking, wouldn’t you and him being such good friends only make any kind of relationship that much better? That can’t be your reason, Em.