“What time is it?”

One of the arms around my stomach moved so Justin could look at his watch. “Twenty after eight.”

“I need to go soon.”

His arm went back around my stomach and he pulled me back tighter against him. “No you don’t.”

I smiled a bit and leaned my head back against his chest. “Yes I do. It’s CSI night.”

He groaned a bit and dropped his head against the back of the recliner chair we had both squeezed into. “Skip it.”

I scoffed and hit his leg lightly. “Yeah right. You know you could just come with me and we could watch it together.”

“Nope.”

I was going to take another stab at trying to convince him to become a CSI fan but when I felt his lips brush against my neck, I let it go. I think over the past week and a half he’s figured out that kissing my neck is a great way to distract me and he’s using it to his advantage. Like I really care.

“What if you tape it?” he mumbled into my skin. “You could stay here for longer.”

My eyes closed and I turned my head to the side to give him more access to my neck. “Not even an option.”

His knees raised up on either side of me and I hooked my arms around them. I opened my eyes when his lips left my neck.

“Mm…don’t stop.”

“I keep getting your hair in my mouth.”

I rolled my eyes. Before anything had started with Justin, I had assumed that he was smooth and completely collected in romantic situations. He just gives off that vibe. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Whenever he’s being perfect and doing everything right, he’ll come out of nowhere and say something awkward about getting my hair in his mouth or he’ll get his watch stuck in my hair. And yes, he definitely did that again two days ago.

Sighing, I pulled all my hair to one side. “There.”

He laughed a bit and leaned his head against mine. “Oh, Emily...”

“Oh, Justin…”

He leaned his chin down on my shoulder and moved his hands along my stomach. “Want some popcorn? I’m getting hungry.”

I smiled. I knew he was trying to distract me so I’d forget about having to leave but it wasn’t working. “I don’t think I have time.”

He groaned again. “You’re way too addicted to that dumb show.”

“You can’t call it dumb if you don’t even watch it.” I picked up one of his hands and weaved my fingers through his. “Why don’t you come with me and then you’ll understand.”

He breathed out a laugh. “Nice try, but no.”

I turned my head to the side to look at his face and narrowed my eyes slightly. “Why are you so difficult?”

He leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss. “That’s part of my charm, Em.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” I started to turn my head forward but he brought up his hand to keep me facing him and leaned down to kiss me again.

I would say this was more a part of his charm than being difficult.

I was just getting lost in the kiss when he pulled back and said, “Hold on. I have to burp.”

His words caused me to burst out laughing and he gave me a weird look.

“What?”

“You are so awkward,” I got out in between giggles.

“Hey,” he sounded offended. “I am not.”

I shook my head and kept laughing. I guess he figured the only logical way to get me to stop laughing at him was to tickle me so a second later I felt his fingers dancing over my sides. It didn’t stop my laughter but did cause me to squirm against him.

“Stop it,” I laughed, trying to swat his hands away.

He laughed at me. “Stop grinding against me.”

I tried to stop moving but really, what are you supposed to do when someone’s tickling you? “I am NOT grinding against you, pervert,” I said, making another attempt to move his hands from me. When he wouldn’t stop, I did the next best thing and leaned forward in the chair to get up.

“Hey, hey, don’t go,” Justin said, not even trying to stop laughing. Yeah, that’s the way to get me to stay, buddy.

“You’re being mean,” I replied, still attempting to stand.

His hands grabbed my hips and I found myself being pulled back down in between his legs. His arms wrapped around my stomach and his mouth went to my ear.

“Sorry,” he whispered and then kissed the spot right below my ear. “I’ll be good.”

I smiled and gave him a nudge with my elbow. “You’re never good.”

I could feel his smile against my skin. “Well I’ll try.”

“Mm hmm….”

His lips went back to work on my neck and I relaxed against him. Maybe I could be convinced to be a tiny bit late for CSI. Just a couple minutes. Lola would understand. And Charisse and Becca…well there’s always the excuse of LA traffic, right?

Thinking of Becca made something come to mind. I leaned my head to the side, pulling myself away from Justin just a bit.

“Have you talked to Becca lately?” I asked him.

“Not for a few days.”

“Her grandpa’s pretty sick.”

“The one that lives out here?”

“Yeah. He’s in the hospital again. Something to do with his heart.”

“He’s in the hospital a lot, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. I guess it’s gotten really bad.”

“I should call her. Is she alright?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her too much. I think she’s going to be over tonight though.”

“Is he at the same hospital she works at?”

“I think so.”

“I’ll have to call her,” he said again and leaned his head against the back of the couch. He was quiet and I leaned my own head on his chest. After a few minutes of silent, I raised my head and lifted his hand to look at his watch. Crap. It was almost quarter too.

“I really have to go,” I said.

He sighed. “You’re sure?”

I nodded. “I never miss CSI night.”

His arms left me and I stood up and offered him my hand to help him up. After gathering my things, I started towards the front door, Justin following.

“What are you doing tomorrow after work?” he asked as I put my shoes on.

“Going over to my aunt and uncle’s for dinner.”

“Oh. Will you be there late?”

“Probably.”

“Saturday?”

“I told Lola I’d go shopping with her but I have the rest of the day free.”

“Save it for me.”

“Okay.” I opened the front door and he leaned down and gave me a kiss, which almost made me want to just screw CSI night and stay there with him, but a) The girls would be suspicious if I didn’t show up, and b) It’s CSI.

“Call me later,” he said when he pulled back.

“I will.”

“Bye.”

I smiled at him and then went to my car. I was so going to be late.

“Em, get in here!” Charise’s voice called when I opened the door of my apartment. “You’re missing it.”

I kicked off my shoes and ran to the living room. Plopping down on the couch, I stayed silent for the next thirty seconds until the opening credits came on. “Sorry. Traffic.”

“Where did you go?” Charise asked.

I quickly thought up something. “I forgot some stuff at work and had to go back.” I glanced over at Lola and she gave me a look and motioned at her neck. I felt my cheeks go red and quickly moved my hair to cover my neck. Stupid Justin left a hickey. That’s exactly how you keep a relationship a secret, right?

I leaned forward and grabbed a few chips from the bowl on the coffee table. “What’d I miss?” I asked, hoping to keep any more questions from where I was to a minimum. I was successful and didn’t have to answer anything else for the rest of the show.

At ten o’clock, Charise and Lola disappeared into her room to find some clothes for Charise to borrow and I was left with Becca. She had been especially quiet all night and now as she was getting her things, I suddenly noticed just how sad she looked.

“How’s your grandpa?” I asked as I stood up with her.

She shrugged. “Not great. It’s pretty bad.”

“Pretty bad like…”

“I think he’s going to die,” she said softly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said and pulled her into a hug. “That sucks.”

She simply nodded.

“I hope you didn’t feel like you had to come over here tonight.”

“No, I didn’t. It was actually good to be here. I’ve spent so much time at the hospital the past couple days that I needed a break from it all.”

“Are you going back over there now?”

“Yeah.”

I walked with her to the front door and watched as she put her shoes on. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No.” She sighed. “It’s just like he’s been sick for so long and I’m just kind of ready for this all to end.”

I didn’t really know what else I could say so I just nodded. Becca stared at the floor silently for a few seconds before shaking her head slightly and then reaching to open the door.

“I guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Call me if there’s anything you need, alright?”

She nodded and I gave her another hug and then watched her leave. Charise and Lola appeared as I closed the door.

“Becca left?” Lola asked.

“Yeah. Did she tell you about her grandpa?”

“She was telling us about him before you got here,” Charise said as she leaned down to put on her shoes. “It really sucks.”

“Yeah. She said she was going to the hospital to see him. She must practically be living there.”

“Probably is,” Charisse said and straightened. “Alright well I’ve gotta go study for the rest of the night.”

“Did you want to come shopping with us on Saturday?” Lola asked.

“Can’t. I have four midterms next week. I probably won’t see you guys again until next Thursday.” She pointed her finger at me. “And you, missy, better take traffic into account next week so you aren’t late again.”

I laughed a bit even though bits of guilt were starting to seep in. “I will. I promise.”

“Okay. Bye guys.”

“Bye,” Lola and I both echoed behind her. As soon as the door was shut behind her, I groaned and slumped against the wall.

“I hate lying to them.”

Lola laughed a bit. “And this is just the beginning.”

I sighed and leaned my head against the wall. “I just need to be more careful and then I won’t have to lie. I should have left Justin’s sooner.”

“I thought maybe you were going to ditch us all together.”

“Oh please. Like I would miss Thursday night.”

Lola simply shrugged. “You never know when there’s a guy involved.”

“Not only am I never going to miss CSI night because of Justin but I bet you that in a month I can crack him and he’ll be watching it with us.”

Lola raised her eyebrows. “If you lose you make me supper for a week?”

“And if I win you make me supper for a week.”

She stuck out her hand. “Deal.”

I smiled and shook it. She was so going down.

* * *

Sometimes everything in life will be going great and you feel like nothing could go wrong and then something happens that just kind of throws things back into perspective.

Trace called me this morning to tell me that Becca’s grandpa died last night. I never even met him but there’s something about a friend’s family member dying that hit me. I take my family for granted and I just assume they’ll always be around and then something like this happens and makes me realize my family isn’t as immortal as I like to think they are.

When I heard about Becca, I called up my own grandparents just to talk and they seemed surprised to hear from me so randomly. Guess that’s a sign that I need to call home more often. My mom tells me that enough but until now I never really thought a whole lot about it.

I was assuming that plans with Emily were still on for spending the afternoon together, but as I stood outside her apartment and knocked on the door for the second time, suddenly I wasn’t so sure. I really should have called before I left the house. This is what I get for trying to be spontaneous.

I was just calling Emily’s cell phone when I heard the door unlock. Snapping my phone shut, I slipped it back into my pocket as the door opened.

“Have you been out here long?” Lola asked once the door was open

“A few minutes.”

“Sorry. Emily has her ipod on and I was in my room.”

I shrugged and stepped into their apartment. “No worries. I think you’re neighbor across the hallways was watching me through the peephole though.”

“Probably. She’s creepy. You know that crazy cat lady from the Simpsons?”

“Yeah.”

“She looks like her.”

I let out a laugh as I slipped off my shoes. “That’s awkward.”

“Did you hear about Becca?”

“Yeah. That really sucks. Have you talked to her?”

“For a couple minutes this morning. She’s pretty upset.”

“I was going to call her but I thought I’d wait a day.”

“Yeah. You don’t want to overwhelm her.”

“Yeah.” I glanced around. “Is Emily in her room?”

“Kitchen.”

“Okay. Thanks.” I walked through the apartment to the kitchen and as I neared it, the pleasant aroma that I had smelled ever since I entered the apartment grew stronger.

Emily had her back to me when I entered the kitchen and I went up behind her and touched her shoulder to get her attention. She jumped a bit and turned around, pulling her headphones from her ears.

“Hey.”

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. She didn’t say anything but instead simply laid her head on my chest.

I rubbed my hands up and down her back. “Are you doing alright?”

She sighed. “You know Becca’s grandpa died?”

“Trace called and told me.”

“It’s so sad.”

“I know.” I hugged her a bit tighter and glanced over her shoulder at the counter. “What are you making?”

“Food for Becca.” She pulled back and shoved her hands in the back pockets of her pants. “I figured she wouldn’t feel like cooking for a while.”

Emily is seriously the sweetest person I know. When someone around her is going through a hard time, she does something so thoughtful like this to show she cares. I remember one time when I was going through this huge tabloid mess about me doing a drug addict or some shit like that and she showed up at my house with a big dish of cobbler just like my granny makes. It was just what I needed to get out of my slump.

“That’s really nice of you.”

She sighed again. “I just didn’t know what else I could do.” She went back to the counter where she was cutting up some chicken. “Do you remember if Becca likes lasagna?”

“Everyone likes lasagna,” I said absentmindedly as I glanced around the kitchen. There was an insane amount of food happening in here. There were muffins cooling on one counter and a large Tupperware container full of spaghetti on the other. And she was apparently planning on making lasagna and then there was whatever she was doing with the chicken.

“You’re really making a lot of food for one person,” I commented somewhat cautiously.

“I just didn’t know what else I could do for her.” She looked down at the floor and sniffed a few times. Shit. Now I’ve got her crying. I should have just kept my mouth shut and let her cook her heart out.

She made a move to wipe her tears away and a sobby laugh escaped her. “I have chicken slime all over my hands.”

Smiling a bit, I went over to her and wiped her tears off her cheeks. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“This is just dumb,” she said. “I met her grandpa like once. This shouldn’t affect me like this.”

“It’s okay to be sad. Becca’s our friend and it’s sad that her grandpa died.”

“I just feel so bad for her.”

“I know. Me too.”

She sniffed again and sighed. She didn’t say anything for a minute and her eyes wandered around the kitchen. “I’m making too much.”

“No. Forget I said anything. Becca’s really going to appreciate it.”

“So should I make the lasagna?”

“Sure. I can help if you want.”

She gave me a look. “You can’t cook.”

I shrugged. She was right but I felt like I had to at least offer. “Then I’ll supervise.” I said, taking a mug from a cupboard and pouring myself some coffee.

“Are you going to bring this stuff to Becca’s today?” I asked as I sat at the kitchen table.

“Yeah.”

“She’s taking time off work, right?”

“I’m assuming so. I didn’t ask.” She went back to the chicken and it was pretty quiet for the next while. The coffee really did nothing for me and I was still tired twenty minutes after I had finished it.

“I’m gonna go lay down in your room.” I said, standing up.

She didn’t look up from the stove. “Okay.”

I left the kitchen and went down the hall to her room. I had always really loved her room. It’s a little small but it’s cozy and she has a million candles in there so it always smells so good. It’s the perfect place for an early afternoon nap

I slept for a good hour before waking up to the feeling of the mattress shifting. I opened my eyes and looked to the side to see that Emily had crawled into bed beside me. She was still getting adjusted and I rolled onto my side and moved over to her.

“Did I wake you up?” she whispered.

I wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her up against me. I didn’t respond to her question, still half asleep, and instead buried my face in her neck. This is nice. We need to do this more often. When I’m actually trying to sleep, I’d much rather have my own space and sprawl out. But if I’m just dozing like this, I love having someone there to hold onto. Especially if that someone is Emily who feels so good against me.

I can’t get over how great Emily is. I thought she was great before but now…she’s really amazing. The other day I was going on about her to Trace and he finally started laughing at me and said I sounded like a lovesick teenager. I can’t help it though. Trace just doesn’t get it.

“Are you done cooking?” I asked, pulling my head back a bit.

“Yeah.”

“When are you taking it all over?”

“In a little bit. Are you going to come?”

“Sure.”

She lifted up one hand and ran it through my hair. “Are you still tired?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Did you not sleep well last night?”

“I was out late with Trace and Ben.”

“Oh. Where did you guys go?”

“Some pub that Trace is always going on about. We didn’t go home until close to three.”

“Do you want to sleep now?”

I smiled. “I’ll be fine,” I repeated, leaning my head forward so I could kiss her. Who would really choose sleep over this?

I love the feeling you get at the beginning of a relationship when it’s like nothing can go wrong. Not that I’m an idiot and think everything will always be perfect. I could list a hundred things right now that could go wrong, the top one of course being our brilliant idea to keep this relationship a secret.

I’ve basically realized that I’m a complete moron for thinking that keeping us a secret was anything close to a good idea. I know nothing good will come out of this. I know Emily thinks after a few weeks I’ll suddenly decide that telling everyone will be a great idea and that’ll be the end of it. That’s not going to happen though. I can’t bring myself to tell her that. It’ll just cause this huge amount of drama and I can’t handle that right now.

I know, I know, I should have thought about how messy this would be before I got involved with her. I’m just setting both of us up for a lot of hurt and I know that’s not cool. But I can’t think about that right now. I’ll figure it all out later. For now, I’m completely content just laying here and kissing her.

A knock on the door interrupted us and Emily pulled back and away from me. I rolled onto my back as she jumped up and went to get the door.

“Your buzzer’s going,” Lola said when the door was open.

“Oh great.”

Both of them disappeared from the room and I laid my arm over my eyes. I was just falling back into a light sleep when Emily yelled my name. With a groan, I pulled myself out of bed and left her room, stretching my arms over my head as I walked to the kitchen.

“Everything’s ready,” she said. “Did you want to go to Becca’s?”

“Yeah.”

Getting all the food into my car in one piece was no easy task. I almost dropped the dish of lasagna three times and by the last time, she looked like she was going to have a hernia. Well honestly, the dish was hot and I had more food in my other hand I had to carry. It’s not like I was a waiter in a past life and I could balance a million things in my hands.

Emily didn’t really say much on the drive to Becca’s condo. She gripped my right hand tightly in hers and spent most of the ride staring out the window. I let the silence hang in the car, not really wanting to talk. I didn’t say anything until I pulled into Becca’s driveway.

“She knows we’re coming, right?”

“I called her before we left.”

I parked the car and Emily dropped my hand. “Can you carry the lasagna and muffins again?”

“I can certainly try.”

She smiled a bit and then got out of the car. After she had loaded me up with food, she went me on my way to the door. I waited for her to join me before using my one free finger to hit the doorbell.

“Hey guys,” Becca said softly when she opened the door. “What’s…oh, Em, you didn’t make all this for me, did you?”

“Of course I did.”

“You aren’t going to feel like cooking,” Emily replied with a shrug.

We followed Becca to the kitchen and as soon as Emily had the food out of her hands, she was hugging her. I set the dishes in my hands down on the counter and hung back. Emily and Becca hugged for at least a full minute and when they pulled away, there were tears falling down Becca’s cheeks. I stepped forward and leaned down to hug her.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her.

She wrapped her arms around me and took in a shaky breath. “Me too.”

“We’re all here for you, okay? If you need anything at all.”

She nodded and I squeezed her tight and then pulled back. She brought up both hands and wiped off her cheeks and then ran her hands over her upper arms.

“Thanks for making all this, Em,” she finally said. “It really means a lot.”

“Of course. It’s the least I could do. And don’t worry, I didn’t let Justin help so it should all be edible.”

That caused Becca to crack a small smile. “Oh good.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, all she wanted me for was to carry the food.”

Emily smiled. “I’m just utilizing your talents.” She reached over to grab my hand but as soon as our hands made contact, I jerked mine back and gave her a look. This definitely wasn’t the place. I looked back to Becca and was relieved to see that her eyes were trained on the counter. She had missed the entire exchange between Emily and me.

It continued to be quiet for another minute before Emily finally spoke.

“Do you want to be alone?”

Becca sighed. “It was so nice of you guys to do all this but, yeah, I…I kind of do. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” I quickly said. “We totally understand.”

We all went back to the front door and after giving Becca another round of hugs, we left.

“I’m sorry,” Emily said as soon as we were alone in the driveway. “I wasn’t thinking.”

I unlocked the car and shrugged. “She didn’t see.” We got in and I started up the engine. “Do you wanna go back to your place?”

“Yeah. I’m hungry after all that cooking. I kind of want to make some pasta. Is that good?”

Just her words were causing my stomach to growl. “Amazing.”