So maybe it’s just me, but there’s something about seeing a man with a small child that totally melts my heart. It’s just so sweet and cute. This one time, Mitch brought his four year old nephew over to the apartment and they were playing video games and it was seriously the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Well, it was the cutest thing until Justin answered the door to his house and I saw him there with his three year old cousin, Kaitlyn, perched on his hip.

“Hey.”

I smiled and stepped into the house. “Hi.”

“Kaitlyn, do you remember Emily?” he asked, looking down at the girl.

She didn’t answer but instead buried her face in his shoulder. So cute. He laughed and ruffled her hair.

“She’s a bit shy.”

My smile grew and I shrugged. “Well we have all night together.” I took off my shoes and reached into my bag to pull out a DVD. “Kaitlyn, do you like The Little Mermaid?”

Her head lifted and I could see some excitement flicker through her eyes as she gave a small nod.

“That’s one of your favorites,” Justin said. “Do you want to watch it?”

She nodded again and he leaned down to set her on her feet. I handed the movie to her and she ran off towards the den.

“The Little Mermaid, huh?” Justin asked once we were alone. “What are you doing with The Little Mermaid?”

“It’s my favorite Disney movie. Don’t even try and make fun of me cause I’ve seen your copy of Charlotte’s Web.”

“That’s different.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How?”

He didn’t respond-probably because he had no good response-and instead grabbed my hand and pulled me over to him and then leaned down to kiss me. What a wuss, taking the easy way out.

“Thanks for coming over,” he said when he pulled back. “Cause I’m sure you didn’t want to spend your Saturday night babysitting.”

“It’s better than sitting at home alone watching the Food Network,” I said. “Because that’s where my night was heading before you called.”

“Well glad I could be of service.” He looked down the hall at the sound of Kaitlyn calling his name. “She’s impatient.”

“She must take after you then,” I quipped.

“Hey now…”

I jumped away from him when he tried to tickle me and took off down the hall, laughing. He caught up to me a few seconds later and grabbed me around the waist, spinning me around.

“I’m not impatient.”

“Of course not,” I replied, going up on my toes to kiss him quickly. “Who would ever have called you impatient?”

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall. As soon as we entered the den where Kaitlyn was, his hand slid from mine. Guess we’re hiding it from the three year old too.

Kaitlyn warmed up to me pretty quick while we made some popcorn and then joined Justin to watch the movie. She was really a sweet girl. When Justin had called me to see if I wanted to help him babysit her while her parents were out of town for the night, I had jumped at the chance. I absolutely love kids.

Kaitlyn sat on his lap the whole movie and I sat beside him. I kept wanting to curl up to him like I normally do but I refrained. Instead, I just let myself be content with his arm resting on the back of the couch behind me and his fingers playing with my hair.

It was close to eight thirty when the movie ended and as soon as the credits were rolling, Justin clapped his hands together.

“Time for bed, Kaitlyn.”

“Can we watch it again?”

“Nope. Maybe tomorrow. But it’s past your bedtime.”

She climbed off his lap and went over to where a pile of her toys were in the corner of the room. Plunking down ground, she began to play with him.

“Kaitlyn, come on.”

“No.”

A smile twitched on my lips. This kid was just as bullheaded as Justin. This should be interesting.

“Your bedtime is eight and it’s eight thirty,” he said, standing. “You can play tomorrow. Come on.”

She moved away when he reached out to pick her up and giggled as she dodged him for a second time. I raised my hand to cover my smile. I would have laughed out loud at the sight of Justin chasing after a three year old if it wasn’t so obvious how frustrated he was getting. It really was a funny scene.

He finally got a hold of her and almost as soon as he picked her up, her laughter turned to tears.

“Don’t wanna go to bed!”

“I don’t think your parents would be very happy if they saw how you’re behaving,” he said as he tried to keep a grip on the struggling girl in his arms. “Stop it.”

I cringed as the beginning of a full fledged temper tantrum erupted out of her. He ignored her and started towards the doorway. I got up and followed behind them to the stairs. She was still straining against him and kicking her feet and he was going a pretty good job of ignoring it until the heel of her foot connected with the wall with a bang.

My eyes widened a bit when she did it and when an obvious dent appeared on the wall. Justin stopped and his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head.

“Kaitlyn!” he boomed and she froze for a second before her crying resumed.

I opened my mouth to say something but before any words could exit, he was already marching up the stairs and then a moment later a door closed and Kaitlyn was muffled.

Shaking my head slightly, I wandered back to the den. What had happened to the sweet, little girl?

I was laying on the couch and flipping through TV channels when Justin appeared five minutes later. Sitting up, I turned off the TV and watched him come over. He collapsed in the corner of the couch and dropped his head back.

“I am never having kids.”

I smiled and moved over to him. He lifted his head to look at me and I motioned for him to move forward a bit so I could slide in behind him. A sigh escaped him when I began to massage his shoulders.

“She’s in bed?”

“Yeah. Shit, I don’t even know what that was. I’ve never seen her like that before.”

“She’s three. That’s what three year olds do.”

“Did you see my wall.”

“Yeah.” I leaned forward and kissed his head. “I thought you handled it good.”

He snorted. “She freaking outran me in here.”

I felt laughter rising up in me as the image of him chasing Kaitlyn came to mind. Trying to keep it inside, I pressed my face into his shoulder.

“Don’t laugh,” he grumbled.

I pulled my face back and a giggle escaped me. “I’m sorry but it was funny. You looked so funny trying to catch her.”

“I felt damn stupid. She’s like a quarter of my size.”

I began to work my hands over his back again. “Well at least she’s in bed now.”

“Yeah. Now I can have you all to myself.”

I giggled as he moved on the couch and pulled me from behind him. Somehow it’s like when I’m with him and he starts kissing me, everything around me completely fades and I’m not aware of anything but of his lips on mine. I don’t even know how he maneuvered us but suddenly I found myself laying on the couch with his weight on top of me, pressing me down into the cushion.

When he kisses me, it’s like a mixture of butterflies and fire running through me. And I can’t get enough of it either. I’ve never been addicted to a drug before but I could imagine that this rush and craving for more must be somehow similar to what an addict must feel. Deep inside, I know that’s probably not the best thing to feel dependence like this. But damn…right now it sure feels right.

When he pulled his mouth away from mine, I was waiting for one of his awkward comments that was sure to ruin the moment but he said absolutely nothing and instead moved his mouth from mine to my neck. I sighed and closed my eyes as he began to bite and suck on the skin.

“How exactly are we supposed to hide our relationship if you continue to give me hickeys,” I asked after a minute, my voice cracking. What, am I suddenly going through puberty?

“Wear your hair down,” he mumbled.

“I hate wearing my hair down at work.”

“I could always stop,” he said, beginning to pull back. Before he could get too far, I pulled him back to me.

“No, no. I’ll think up something.” My eyes closed again when his lips resumed contact with my neck. “I’ll say I got into a fight with a vacuum cleaner.”

He laughed and pulled back again, lifting his head so he was looking at me. “You know, maybe you wouldn’t be such a bad liar if you had more believable lies.”

I hit him on the back. “Shut up. I’m just kidding .I’m not going to go up to someone and be all ‘This vacuum cleaner attacked me’,” I said, mimicking his voice when I said it.

“You’re so sexy when you talk like that,” he teased. “Keep doing it and I might have to ravish you again.

I pretended to look surprised. “Again? Let me know next time you’re doing it cause apparently I’m not aware of it.” The last few words came out in a shriek as he gave a growl and began to tickle me.

I love how we can go from making out to joking around in a matter of seconds. It keeps everything interesting. Not that I’d ever be bored with making out with him but this is just really nice. I can honestly say I’ve never had a relationship quite like this before.

“Okay, truce!” I got out in a gasp. “I’m gonna throw up.”

His fingers withdrew immediately. “Ew. Don’t get it on the couch.”

“I should just to teach you a lesson.”

He moved his hands back to my stomach but instead of tickling me, he just pushed up my shirt a few inches and rubbed his thumbs over my skin. “You wouldn’t do something like that.”

I swatted his hands away. “I know. I’m too nice.”

He propped his elbows on either side of my head and stared down at me. A smile curved my lips.

“What?”

He smiled. “You’re so cute.”

I couldn’t keep my smile from growing. I love it when he just randomly compliments me. “I know. I’m completely adorable.”

He laughed and sat up, pulling me with him until we were both sitting, me across his lap. My eyes landed on the coffee table.

“Hey, my CSI.”

He leaned forward and grabbed the DVD case. “Yeah, I found this under my pillow. I have no idea how it got there,” he said dryly.

“What a mystery,” I replied solemnly. “Well since it’s here, why don’t we watch an episode?”

He scoffed. “You wish, Chief.”

I took it from him. “Oh come on. Just one episode.”

“No.”

“You’re as stubborn as Kaitlyn.”

“So?”

Sighing, I dropped the DVD’s on the couch beside him. “Fine. Will you go get me a drink?”

“What do you want?”

“Ice tea, please.” I moved off his lap so he could get up and as soon as he left the room, I quickly got up and switched the Little Mermaid with a CSI DVD and pressed play. I was back to sitting nonchalantly when Justin appeared with two glasses of ice tea.

“Thank you,” I said when he handed me my glass.

“My pleasure.”

“Do you want to watch some TV?”

“Sure.”

I adjusted myself on the couch so I was leaned back against him and so that in order for him to get up, I’d have to move. Cooking dinner for Lola for a week was definitely not appealing and I only had three weeks left to win the bet. If I had to hold him down, I would. He is going to watch this show.

“Is there anything on?” he asked as I picked up the remote. The guy doesn’t suspect anything.

“Well…I’m not sure. But…” I trailed off when I turned on the TV and Grisham appeared on the screen.

“No! No way, Emily!”

I laughed as he struggled behind me and I grabbed his hands. “Come on! Why won’t you give it a chance?”

“I’m not watching,” he stated, closing his eyes tightly.

I groaned. “You’re such a jerk. Come on.”

“No.”

“Can’t you hear Grisham? He’s saying, ‘Justin, watch me. You’ll love me if you just give me a chance. It’ll be better than any sexual experience you’ve ever had’.”

He opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow. “If this show is better than any sexual experience you’ve ever had-”

“Shut up. That’s not what I meant.”

“-Then me and you are going to have a gooood time,” he finished with a laugh and a cocky smirk.

I ignored the suggestive look he was giving me. There are more pressing matters on hand. Namely, Justin watching CSI.

“Well how about you watch an episode and then you can prove to me that it’s not the best thing ever,” I suggested.

He laughed again and leaned forward to kiss me. “You’re such a tease,” he mumbled against my lips, “but I’m still not going to watch this.”

Somehow he weaseled the remote out of my hand and suddenly CSI disappeared.

“I hate you,” I said, folding my arms across my chest.

He smiled and rolled his eyes. “No you don’t. You think I’m the best thing ever.”

I opened my mouth with the intent to take him down a notch or two when the sound of the doorbell echoed through the house and stopped me. Justin groaned.

“Wanna get it?”

I shook my head and leaned back in the couch. “It’s your house, dude.”

He groaned again as he stood. Justin’s such a drama queen when he has to do something he doesn’t want to. Like he’s really so hard done by to get up and answer the door. Give me a break.

When he left the room, I stretched back out on the couch and turned the TV back on. He’s going to have to work harder than that to avoid my show.

I don’t know who exactly I expected to be at the door, but it was exactly who I didn’t want it to be. When I heard two male voices coming towards the room, I lifted my head and looked towards the door. And when Ben appeared alongside Justin, I shot up to a sitting position on the couch. What the hell.

“Oh, hi.” I tried to keep the utter surprise out of my voice but I think it shone through. “What are you doing here?”

“I was bored,” he shrugged.

“I was telling him how we were babysitting,” Justin said as he stepped into the room.

“Oh.”

Justin sat down on the chair furthest away from the couch and me and didn’t make eye contact with me. As if a look could give us away. Actually, for us, it probably could.

I pulled my hair around my neck as Ben dropped into a chair between Justin and I. This was so far beyond awkward. It was stiff. And uneasy. And gauche. And…and maybe if I knew more synonyms for awkward then I could accurately describe this situation. For now, we’ll stick to complete and total awkwardness.

“So…” Justin finally said, probably just to break the silence.

“So,” I echoed.

“Since when do you watch CSI, Justin?” Ben asked, finally taking notice of what was playing on the TV.

“I don’t. Turn that off, Emily.”

At this point I wasn’t going to put the effort into trying to keep it on. With a sigh, I picked up the remote and shut the TV off and the room was filled with silence.

Justin somehow managed to start having a somewhat normal conversation with Ben and I sat back and half listened, my previous good mood now dampened. I had thought I was going to get to spend all night with Justin but now that didn’t seem too likely.

I was mentally going over my grocery shopping list when Justin and Ben’s conversation was interrupted by Kaitlyn’s small voice calling Justin from the doorway. We all looked over and saw her standing there, clutching a stuffed dog to her chest.

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked, getting up.

“Can’t sleep.”

He leaned down and picked her up. “How about I tuck you in again and I’ll stay until you fall asleep, okay?”

She nodded and he threw me a slightly apologetic look before leaving the room.

Great. Now it’s just Ben and me. We’re on much better terms now but it’s not like we’re best of friends or anything. I’ve hardly seen him at all for the past month.

“So how’s work going?” he finally asked after a painful minute long silence.

“Really good.”

“I hear you got a pretty good raise.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s cool.”

I smiled a bit. “Yeah. It’s making life a lot easier.”

It was quiet again and I began to pick at my fingernails. I silently said a prayer that Kaitlyn would fall asleep quickly so Justin would be back.

“Did you hear that Megan and Josh are getting married?”

I raised my head to look at him. “Really?”

“Yeah. They got engaged last week.”

Megan is Ben’s cousin and I always got along really good with her but I haven’t talked to her since Ben and I broke up. It’s so weird because it’s like I was so involved in so many parts of his life and now that we’re not dating, I’m missing out on all those things.

“That’s really great. I’ll have to call and congratulate her.”

“When I talked to her she said she wanted to invite you to the wedding. I didn’t know if that would be awkward but the invitations there.”

“No, I’d love to go. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them. Do they have a date set yet?”

“I thinks he was saying June or something.”

“That’s like two months away.”

“Yeah. They wanted to soon cause Josh’s company transferred him to San Diego for August and they wanted to have it while they’re still here.”

“Is she going to be able to plan it in time?”

He laughed. “Megan’s had her wedding planned since she was eight. She’ll be fine.”

“Oh yeah. I remember that binder of all her wedding plans she has. The first time I met her she showed that to me.”

“That binder is way too intense. I don’t know how she didn’t scare off Josh with that thing.”

“Must be true love.”

“Sorry guys,” Justin said, suddenly appearing back in the room.

“Is she asleep?” I asked.

“Yeah, she went out pretty quick. I think she just had trouble cause it’s a different bed.” He sat back down in his chair. “Toss the remote over here, Em.”

I threw him the remote and then leaned my head against the back of the couch. I didn’t come over here to watch TV with the two of them. I came over to spend time with Justin and clearly that’s not going to happen. After realizing that, I only sat there for a few more minutes before lifting my head and getting up.

Justin’s eyes turned to me when I stood. “Are you going?”

“Yeah. I’m kind of tired.”

He started to get up. “I’ll walk you out.”

“You don’t have to,” I said, stopping him. Justin hardly ever walks anyone to the door when they leave and Ben will wonder what’s going on if Justin comes with me.

“Kay, well, thanks for helping me with Kaitlyn.”

“No problem.” I moved to the doorway. “See you guys later.”

“Bye,” both Ben and Justin called after me.

A sigh escaped me as I walked to the front door. Keeping our relationship a secret really, really sucks. I’m really hoping that as time goes on Justin will be chilling out on letting people know about us. How long does he think this can go on for?”

“Em!”

I turned around on the driveway and saw Justin coming out of the house. He closed the door behind him and then jogged towards me.

“You forgot your CSI,” he said when he reached me.

I took the DVDs from him and dropped them in my purse. I wasn’t in the mood anymore to try and get him to watch them. “Thanks.”

“Are you sure you have to go?”

I sighed again. “We’re just sitting there watching TV. I didn’t come over to watch TV with you and Ben.”

“I know. I’m sorry he just showed up. Usually he calls.”

I nodded but said nothing as I folded my arms over my chest.

“I couldn’t just not let him in.”

“I know,” I mumbled.

He came closer to me and ran his hands over my upper arms. My annoyance slowly melted as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked up at him. “It’s not your fault.”

“Are you free tomorrow? We can do something.”

“I have that photoshoot all day.”

“Oh. Maybe Monday.”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll give you a call, okay?”

I nodded and he leaned down and kissed me briefly before straightening.

“I should go back before Ben wonders where I am.”

I nodded again and fished my keys out of my purse as he ran back to the house. It’s like when I’m not with him, I feel like hiding this is the worst idea in the world. But all I need is a kiss or a hug and nothing else even matters anymore. But I’m still going to have to have a talk with him about telling people. This is getting a little exhausting.