Although it wasn’t officially called “couples night”, I felt like that’s what I was walking into. Emily had invited me over to, as she put it, “hang out” with her, Lo, and Mitch and I’m praying that this isn’t going to turn into some double date thing. It’s not that I mind hanging out with Lola and Mitch because I like them both and I think they’re great. But when it turns into a double date situation and we end up playing pictionary couple against couple…that’s when it gets too much. It’s all a little too cheesy for me. Hopefully the extent to which they have anything planned is a movie or something.

“Hey man,” Mitch said when he opened the door to the girls’ apartment.

“Hey. How’s is going?”

He shrugged and put a forkful of mac and cheese in his mouth from the plate in his hand. “Good. Hope you don’t mind but I vetoed any board games for tonight.”

I laughed a bit. “You’re my savior. Is Em around?”

“Talking on the phone in her room.”

“Great. Thanks.”

I went through the apartment, poking my head in the kitchen to say hello to Lola before continuing to Emily’s room. Her door was shut and after a quick knock, I eased it open.

She was laying on her back in the middle of her bed, her hands resting on her stomach and her eyes staring straight up. She didn’t acknowledge me.

I kicked off my shoes and then went to the end of the bed. I crawled up her body until our faces were even and leaned down to kiss her.

“Trying to sleep?”

Her eyes slowly moved from the ceiling to meet mine and the look in them immediately made my eyebrows draw together.

“What’s wrong?”

In the few seconds it took her to respond, scenarios were already going through my head. This is what I do. My mind always comes up with all these scenarios as if to prepare myself for anything that could go wrong. And right now, my brains telling me all the bad reasons she looks like she might cry and why she didn’t respond to my hello kiss. Maybe she’s finally fed up with all the sneaking around and is going to break up with me. Or maybe she saw that picture in US weekly of me and this producers, Sandra, which looks a little suspicious but I swear it was just an innocent hug. Or maybe-

“My dad called. My mom has pneumonia. That’s why she’s been so sick.”

The realization that none of my scenarios were true sent relief through me but I carefully kept that emotion from showing on my face. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah. She’s on antibiotics.”

I moved off her and laid on my side, facing her. I propped up my head with my hand and stared at her. “Are you okay?”

She slowly nodded and then closed her eyes tightly. “I just really don’t like when my parents are sick.”

I reached out my free hand and smoothed it over her hair. It was damp and from her make up free face, I concluded that she had just showered. “I don’t either. But at least it’s nothing too serious. As long as she rests she’ll get better.” I cleared my throat a couple times when my voice faltered at the end of my sentence and she turned her head to look at me.

“Are you sick?”

“My throat’s been bugging me today.”

“Do you want some tea? I can make you a cup.”

I smiled a bit. Even when involved in her own issues she’s still thinking of everyone else. “That would be great actually.”

She slowly got up and I rolled onto my back and watched as she left the room. Once she was gone, I crossed my arms behind my head and stared up at the ceiling.

My feelings about Emily have been running crazy lately. I’ve never gone from being best friends with someone to dating them and it kind of sends your emotions on a rollercoaster. As friends, I’ve always loved her. And in the three years I’ve known her, I’ve told her that and she’s uttered the same words back to me. But it’s different now that we’re dating. Instead of a friendship love, it’s this intimate, romantic love that’s kind of been flittering through my head for weeks. It’s only been in the past few days that it’s really settled itself permanently.

It was right after my photoshoot when we got in a fight that I knew for sure. And it was like even though I was irritated at how everything had went down, I still couldn’t get enough of her and couldn’t wait for everything to be sorted out so we could go back to normal. And as mad as I was, I could hardly concentrate on the argument but instead all the amazing things about her kept popping into my mind. That night I laid in bed wide awake for three hours thinking about everything. It wasn’t until it finally clicked in my head that I loved her in more than a friend way that I started to feel the faintest bit tired.

So it’s been three days since I’ve figured this all out but I haven’t said anything. Part of me thinks it’s too early into the relationship and I don’t want to say it and have her not say it back. That would suck beyond belief. And I want to say it at the perfect time in the perfect place, not just randomly. I know I can’t just not say anything but I’m still going to give myself a few more days to get this all sorted out in my head.

“I put some honey in it.”

My eyes snapped away from the ceiling and to Emily. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts I hadn’t even heard her come back in the room. Sitting up, I took the mug from her. “Thanks.”

She sat down across from me on the bed, crossing her legs under her. She tilted her head to one side and began to run her fingers through her hair. “Lola said dinner would be ready in twenty minutes.”

“Great. I’m starving.” I raised the mug to my mouth and blew the top of it before taking a few small sips. I lifted my eyes back up to her and found her staring off to the side as her fingers still played in her wet hair. I turned my head and my eyes followed her gaze until they landed on the open suitcase on the ground, half filled with clothes. She was leaving for Ohio in two days.

“I bet you’re glad you’re going back home now,” I said. “You can see your mom.”

“Yeah,” she said softly.

“It’s gonna suck not seeing you for a week though,” I said, raising the mug back up.

“You should come with me.”

She blurted that out so suddenly and unexpectedly that it completely surprised me and caused me to suck in a large mouthful of tea. I winced as the hot liquid burnt my mouth.

“What?” I managed after I had forced myself to swallow.

She looked shocked at herself, like she had had no control of those words exiting her mouth. She stared at me, her eyes a bit wide. “I mean…”

“Do you really want me to come?”

She seemed to realize that I wasn’t completely freaked out or turned off at her suggestion and her shoulders relaxed a bit.

“It could be fun.”

“Your parents wouldn’t mind?”

“They want to meet you.” Her eyes faltered from mine. “If you don’t want to…”

I quickly cut her off. “No, that sounds like fun. I’d love to come. I can call my travel agent and get a ticket.”

She bit her lower lip but her smile still shone through. “So you really want to put yourself through a weekend at my dad’s farm? He’s going to put you to work, you know.”

I smiled. “I can handle it. I’m tougher than I look.”

Her foot reached out and nudged my leg. “You are so going to be eating those words.”

I raised my mug back to my mouth and gave her a wink. “Oh ye of little faith.”

* * *

“What the hell are you doing, man?”

My eyes raised to Cory, sitting across form me, at his abrupt question. “Huh?”

“Emily?”

My eyes immediately went to her form retreating to the restaurant’s bathroom and I watched her for a brief second before looking back at my friend and repeating my eloquent question. “Huh?”

“Does Ben know?”

A feeling of unease went through me and I didn’t speak as I stared at Cory, trying to decide if he was asking what I think he’s asking. I settled on playing stupid. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not completely blind. Something’s going on between you guys.”

“Keep your voice down,” I mumbled, my eyes flickering down the table. Trace was beside me and Mitch and Lola near him but Ben wasn’t completely out of earshot of me and Cory and although he seemed pretty involved in the conversation he was having with Rob, he might still hear us.

“So there is something. And you’re hiding it.”

I reached my hand up and rubbed my forehead. “Yeah,” I muttered.

“You aren’t dating, are you?”

My hand dropped down to the table and I glanced up at Cory silently. He let out a low whistle and leaned back in his chair. “Man, that’s messed up. She’s Ben’s ex.”

Both elbows on the table, I dropped my head into my hands and ran them over the top of my hair a couple times. “I know.”

He leaned forward and lowered his voice a bit more. “How long?”

I raised my head long enough to ensure that no one was listening to our conversation and then dropped it back into my hands. “A month.”

A laugh escaped Cory. “A month? Are you shitting me?”

I lifted my head and rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m completely joking,” I said sarcastically.

“So it’s kind of getting serious then.”

“Yeah,” I said, tapping my fingers against the top of the table nervously. I really didn’t want to be having this conversation out in the open like this with the reason we’re hiding it sitting five feet away.

“How long are you going to do this for? Before you tell him?”

“I haven’t actually figured that out yet.”

“And Emily’s just okay with that?”

“Not exactly.”

Cory laughed again and leaned back. “You know, some days I’d give anything to be you. Today definitely isn’t one of those days.”

I sighed and forced my fingers to stop drumming on the table. “How did you figure it out?” I had to ask. “Are we that obvious?”

“It’s not hard to figure out sitting across from you. Next time you’re out in public together you might not want to sit right beside each other.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, dropping my head.

“Are you okay?”

I jerked away when I felt Emily’s hand on my shoulder as she slid back into her chair. It could totally just be a friendly gesture but at this point, I was a little high strung. “Yeah.”

She gave me a weird look but I didn’t want to risk telling her anything right here. Instead I slipped my hand under the table and gave her knee what I hoped to be a reassuring squeeze. But that was the last contact I had with her for the rest of the night. If Cory can figure it out that means Ben can and I’ve got to play it cool.