“Have you always been this disorganized and I’ve just never noticed it before?” I wonder out loud as the car turns into the long winding driveway.

Justin gives me a roll of his eyes. “I’m not disorganized.”

“First you’re late picking me up to my birthday dinner and then you forget your wallet at your house,” I say, listing it off on my fingers. “Are you going to call Trace and tell him we’re going to be late?”

He lets out an exasperated sigh. “We’re not going to be late, Emily. We don’t have to be there for like ten minutes.”

I smirk a bit and don’t say anything. Apparently it’s only going to take ten minutes to get across the city to the restaurant. He’s living in a dream world.

“So what’s the plan after dinner?” I ask as he parks the car in front of the house.

He undoes his seatbelt and shrugs. “I dunno. We could hit up a club or something.”

I nod and put a smile on my face. I know Justin’s been busy since we got back from Ohio last week but it kind of feels like he just threw my birthday party together last minute. Usually he puts so much thought into it but this year I didn’t even know the plans until yesterday. And so far the plans seem to consist of going to dinner and I guess a club afterwards, which just kind of feels like something we do all the time. I really shouldn’t be complaining though. I’m sure I’ll have a great time just chilling with my friends.

“Are you coming in?”

I look over at Justin. “Do I need to come in?”

“Well I don’t exactly know where I left my wallet. I was hoping you’d help me look.”

Groaning, I undo my seatbelt and open my door. “Are you still convinced you’re not disorganized?” I ask as I get out of the car.

“Hey, don’t even start on me about being disorganized,” he says defensively. “Remember how we almost missed our flight to Ohio because you couldn’t find your ticket?”

I arch an eyebrow at him. “The only reason we almost missed our flight to Ohio was because you insisted on getting coffee even though we were running late,” I reply as we walk up the front steps of his house. “And then you proceeded to complain about how bad the coffee was for the next three hours.”

He puts his key into the lock. “I think I mentioned how bad the coffee was maybe once. Get your facts straight.”

I roll my eyes and put my hand on my hip as I wait for him to open the door. “Disorganized and defensive,” I state, stepping into the dark house ahead of him. “Such charming personality-”

“SURPRISE!”

My feet automatically take a step backwards. “Oh my gosh.”

A lot of people say that they would kill their friends or family if they ever threw a surprise party for them but I’m completely the opposite. Ever since I understood the concept of a surprise party, I’ve wanted one. I think it’s great that everyone gets together to surprise you and goes to all the effort of it. Over the years I’ve said a few times how much I wanted a surprise birthday but I never thought anyone ever really took notice of it.

As my wide eyes look over the faces of my friends crowding in the front room of Justin’s house, I feel his hands come up and circle my shoulders, giving me a little shake.

“You didn’t really think all I had planned was a lame ass dinner and clubbing, did you?” he asks.

I turn my head back to smile at him. “You rock so much,” I say and then give him a tight hug, careful to leave it at that since all eyes were on us. Once I let him go, I turned back around. “Thanks, guys.”

“Did we surprise you?” Lola asks, coming over to my side. She links her arm in mine.

“Totally. I had absolutely no idea.”

Lola pulls me away from Justin and into the sea of my friends and coworkers. Within minutes, the party is in full swing.

Justin really out did himself this year. His birthday parties for me are usually amazing but this tops them all. I don’t know how long he’s been planning this but everything’s so perfect. He got all my favorite food and drinks and music and I’m having the time of my life. This is officially the best birthday party ever.

I want to really thank Justin but I can’t get a minute alone with him with all the people around. It isn’t until a couple hours after we had walked in the door that a hand grabs mine as I’m walking to the kitchen and gives me a pull. I turn my head and when I see Justin, a smile spreads across my face and I let him lead me away from everyone.

“Isn’t this risky?” I giggle as he pulls me into the bathroom and pushes the door shut with his foot.

He grins and pulls me into a quick hug. “Are you drunk?”

Giving his chest a push, I smile up at him. “No. Are you?”

“No. But it’s your birthday. You should be drunk.”

Laughing, I hop up on the counter. “I want to remember every single detail about this night,” I say, looping my arms loosely around his neck when he steps in front of me. I pull his face down to mine. “Thank you so much for my party,” I mumble against his lips. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”

He presses his lips against mine a couple times and then pulls his face back an inch. “Were you actually surprised?”

“Completely. I had no idea. How long have you been planning this?”

“Couple weeks.” His hands run down my sides until they come to a rest at my hips. “So now you have to take back what you said about me being disorganized. A disorganized person would not have been able to pull this together.”

I giggle and put the ball of my foot on the back of his calf, nudging him closer to me. “I officially take back that you’re disorganized.”

“Good.” He leans down and gives me a nice, slow kiss. After a minute, he pulls his lips from mine and rests his forehead against mine. “Are you going to stay over tonight?”

I run my fingers along the back of his neck and then curl them around his shoulders. “I could. I don’t really have anything here though.”

“You don’t need anything,” he replies, his lips meeting mine again. I lean up into him and wrap my arms tightly around his back as he kisses me deeply. Life is perfect and I’m just getting lost in the countless kisses we’re sharing when the bathroom door swings open, bumping Justin into me.

“Oops, I…holy shit.”

Justin doesn’t move but I pull my head away from his to see Becca standing in the doorway. She’s staring at me and I don’t say anything.

“Um…sorry. I, uh…sorry.”

I’ve never seen anyone leave so quickly. She pulls the bathroom door shut behind her and the room is quiet again, the silence only broken with the faint sound of music and laughter coming from the rest of the house.

Justin has his head resting on my shoulder and I stare at the closed bathroom door. “I think Becca might know something’s up…” I say. His shoulders start to shake and I pull his head up to find him laughing. “What?”

“You think?” he laughs at me. “I’ve never seen her speechless before.”

I hit him lightly on the shoulder. “I should go talk to her.”

He stops me before I can slide off the counter. “You don’t have to leave right this minute. She’s not going to go make some kind of announcement or anything.”

I let him keep me in place and smile as he kisses me again. Someone new just found out about us and he doesn’t seem to be freaking out. This is a good thing. When Mitch found out, Justin practically shit himself. Then Corey found out and Justin just got more paranoid. But it’s like he doesn’t even care that Becca knows. I now know it’s only a matter of time before he gets over it completely and we can tell everyone, including Ben.

Although I’d rather stay right where I am, I know I need to go find Becca. She’s not going to go start gossip about Justin and I but she’s my friend and I owe her an explanation of what she saw. I’ve been hiding this from her for over a month now and I’ve hated it. She’s one of my best friends and so many times I’ve wanted to tell her but couldn’t. And now I can.

I pull away from Justin and a sigh escapes him. Rolling my eyes with a smile, I push him to the side and hop down from the counter.

“I need to go find Becca,” I say. “It’ll just take a minute.”

He runs a hand over the top of his hair and then down his face. “I should go back out there anyways. People might start to wonder why the host and the birthday girl are both missing.”

I stand on my toes and give him a quick kiss. “Later,” I promise and he grins.

“Later,” he confirms.

Smiling, I slip out of the bathroom and walk back to where everyone else is gathered. When my eyes land on Becca, I immediately walk over and grab her arm.

“Come here for a sec.”

I pull her through the people and down a hallway. I find a deserted guest bedroom and go inside, closing the door behind us. Before I can get a word out, Becca’s hands are cupping my face and her eyes are examining mine.

“You don’t look drunk,” she says after a moment.

“I’m not?” I say in a questioning tone, not quite sure of what’s going on.

“Either you’re drunk or just really caught up in birthday spirit,” she says. “But you can obviously see this won’t end well, right?”

My eyebrows draw together. “What?”

“Having a one night stand with your best friend is going to make things really awkward, Emily.”

I stare at her for a moment before I begin to laugh. “We’re not having a one night stand, Becca,” I say with a smile.

She looks confused. “You two were practically going at it. What exactly did I walk in on?”

I bite my lower lip and raise my eyebrows a bit. “Justin and I are…kind of dating.”

“What?!” Becca yelps, causing me to jump. “Since when?”

“Um…like a month?”

“Are you shitting me?”

I can’t tell if she’s mad or not. “Um, no?”

“You little hooch. Why are you hiding it?”

“Because of Ben.”

“Oh.” Then realization dawns in her eyes. “Oh…”

“Yeah. I totally wanted to tell you too. But we kind of agreed to tell as few people as possible because we don’t want it to get back to Ben.”

“Justin thinks it’ll ruin their friendship or something?”

“Exactly.”

Becca shakes her head and puts her hands on her hips. “I cannot believe that you two have been dating for a month and I had no idea. How dense am I?”

I laugh. “I’d like to think that we’re just doing a really good job at hiding it.”

“But for a month?” She shakes her head again. “So this must be kind of a serious thing, huh?”

I can’t stop myself from letting a smile spread across my face. “He told me he loves me last week.”

Becca’s face lights up. “He did? And you love him?”

I bite my bottom lip and nod. “Yeah.”

She steps forward to give me a tight hug. “I’m really happy for you, Em. You deserve it.”

“Thanks.”

She pulls back. “So when are you guys going to tell everyone?”

The question of the ages. “I’m kind of leaving it up to Justin at this point because he’s the one so adamant about Ben not finding out. But soon, I think.”

“I bet that’ll be a relief.”

I nod. “You have no idea. It’s exhausting always hiding it. And the longer it goes on, the harder it gets.”

“Well obviously you’re going to have to tell people eventually.” She gives me a look. “Especially if you’re planning on going at it in the main bathroom in the middle of a party.”

My cheeks heat up and I toy with the ends of my hair. “Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best thought out plan.”

“You’re lucky it was me who found you and not like Rob or someone like that.”

The idea of Rob Crawford walking in on us set my nerves on edge. “That would have been really bad.”

“Ben isn’t here, is he?”

“No. Justin didn’t invite him. We’re fine with each other but it’s not like we hang out all the time or anything. It would have been weird if he had been here.”

“True enough.”

It was quiet for a moment and I can hear the music being turned up.

“Let’s get back out there,” Becca says, linking her arm in mine. “I’m sure Justin is wanting you back.”

I smile. “I think after you finding us, we’ll probably try and keep a low profile for the rest of the night.” I open the door and we step out. “After everyone leaves though…”

“You hooch,” Becca says making me laugh as we join the party.

* * *

I can’t help but let my eyes follow Emily as she talks to her friends. It’s like there’s been a smile permanently attached to her face ever since we stepped in the door. I’m so glad this party was what she wanted. It’s risky throwing a surprise party for someone when you don’t know how they’ll react but it worked perfectly for her. I know I won’t be able to top this next year but it’s worth it.

I’m pulled from my thoughts when a body drops to the couch beside me. Tearing my eyes from Emily, I turn my head to see Becca sitting beside me. A smirk is etched firmly on her lips and I immediately know Emily told her everything.

“You sneaky bastard.”

Smiling, I lean into the couch and stretch my arms along the back of it. “Have I ever mentioned how I love when you randomly come up at insult me?”

She hits me in the chest and I laugh as I lower a hand to rub at the spot.

“Verbal AND physical abuse. You’re going to make some man so happy one day, Dickie.”

She rolls her eyes. “I can’t believe you and Emily…”

“How much did she say?”

“I hear love is in the air.”

The corner of my mouth turns up and my eyes find Emily again. She’s talking and laughing with some girl from Avidity. “Seems that way.”

“As annoyed as I am that you didn’t tell me, I’m happy for you two.”

I glance over at Becca and give her a smile. “Thanks.”

Truth be told, Becca knowing didn’t sit great with me. Becca can take a secret to the grave and I know she’ll be the last person to let anything slip but it’s just one more person on the list of people that know about Emily and I. Lately it seems like that list is growing longer and longer.

In Ohio, when we were all alone, everything was perfect. It was an ideal situation. We could do whatever we wanted wherever we wanted and not have to worry about anyone seeing anything. It had allowed me to put my guard down and even though we’ve been back for almost a week, I still haven’t quite gotten used to hiding our relationship again. Tonight’s a perfect example. I was asking to be caught when I pulled Emily into the bathroom. But lately, it’s like I don’t even care if someone were to find us. At least then it could just come out into the open and I wouldn’t have to deal with this. I’m too young to have to deal with all this stress.

Lately I’ve been questioning what the issue is if I want to get this out into the open so bad. And as soon as I question it, I know why. I wouldn’t trade my friendship with Ben for anything and I know that having him find out I’m dating his ex would effectively be trading my friendship for her. And that’s not okay.

“She’s so happy, you know?” Becca says. “It seems like she wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

I bring up a hand to pinch the bridge of my nose.

Shit.