“So explain to me one more time why I have to watch this stupid show with you?”

I open the door to the stairs and push it open further so Trace can follow me. “Because I don’t think I can endure an hour by myself of Emily gloating that she finally got me to watch CSI.”

“I can’t believe that you agreed to watch it,” Trace says, shaking his head. “I thought you were strong.”

I shrug and take the stairs two at a time up to Emily’s floor. “It was going to happen eventually. You don’t even realize how much she’s bugged me about this since I’ve met her.”

“We could still leave,” Trace says as we walk down the hallway towards Emily and Lola’s apartment.

“Em will kick my ass if I don’t show up,” I reply, knocking on the door. “We’ve got plans to meet up with Ben after this so we only have to stay until the end of the show and then we have a reason to leave. It’ll be fine.”

Trace snorts. “You say that now but you’ve never been around them when they watch this show. They turn from normal human beings to obsessive…things. It’s scary.”

I roll my eyes and want to tell him he’s being dramatic but I have a sinking feeling that he’s not lying. Before I can say anything else, the door swings open and we’re greeted by Emily. She has a huge infectious smile on her face and I feel my own spreading across my lips.

“You’re even early! I’m impressed.”

“Wouldn’t want to miss a minute of this spectacular show,” Trace mumbles as we step into the apartment.

She hits him on the arm. “Shut up. Nobody needs your catty remarks. Why are you even here?”

“Justin knew he was in for hell so he dragged me along for the ride,” Trace fires back. “You better have some good food here or I’m seriously going to kill myself.”

“Promise?”

Normally I’d be right in there, bickering with them but I haven’t been able to form any words since I’ve stepped into the apartment. Maybe it’s because lately when I’ve seen Emily, she’s been pretty dressed down, but tonight she looks amazing. She has on a pair of white capris, which are offsetting her tan and making her legs look incredible. A pink camisole is hugging her upper body and her hair is pulled back in some sort of messy bun thing. Her face is flawless and eyes sparkling.

I think lately I’ve spent most of my time staring in her eyes, begging for forgiveness for the most recent stupid thing I’ve done that I haven’t taken the opportunity to really examine her entire body and realize again just how gorgeous she is. It’s hitting me full force now and I’m having issues remembering just exactly how to breathe normally.

“You okay there, Justin?”

My eyes pull from Emily to see Lola standing there, smirking at me. She was clearly watching me staring and I fight to keep an embarrassed look off my face.

“Fine.” I raise an eyebrow at her. “You?”

Her smirk doesn’t falter. “Just perfect.”

Emily’s eyes suddenly turn to me as if she’s just realizing that I’m standing there. “Hey! Are you excited for CSI?”

Before I have a chance to respond, she’s wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug and pulling me down more to her level. I’m caught off guard a bit and clumsily try and return the hug. My eyes close unconsciously as a whiff of her scent enters my nose. It’s only been two days since I’ve been near her but it’s like I’ve forgotten all of this.

I force myself to pull away after a minute, knowing if I hug her too much longer I’ll lose all reserve.

“As excited as I’ve ever been,” I say, trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum. There are a million other things I would rather do than watch this show. But I should look on the bright side. It’s a chance to hang out with Emily and when she’s looking as good as she is right now, I should be glad I’m here.

“You got any food around here?” Trace asks, wandering into the living room.

“I made cookies this afternoon for this momentous occasion,” Emily says, following Trace. Lola trails behind and once I realize I’m the only one still standing in the front hallway, I force myself in motion and follow behind.

Everyone’s already sitting around when I get into the living room and the only available spot is on the love seat beside Emily. I drop down onto the cushion and stretch out my legs in front of me.

“So after I endure this hour, you’re not going to bother me about watching this show anymore, right?” I ask, rolling my head to the side to look at Emily.

She rolls her eyes and reaches out her bare foot to push against my thigh. “I won’t need to bother you about it because you’re going to be so addicted after tonight you’re going to be begging me to borrow my CSI DVD’s.”

I laugh. “Fat chance.”

I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything from Lola and Emily but rapt attention throughout the show. The only talking was during commercials and every time I tried to say anything while the show was on, I got a kick in the leg from Emily and a glare from Lola. I thought I’d have some support in Trace but he seemed to be halfway interested in the show and basically ignoring me.

How did I become friends with these people?

By the end of the show, I didn’t like it anymore than I did to start with although I did like Trace a whole let less for not backing me up when I was making fun of Grisham’s words of confusing wisdom throughout the show.

“So?” Emily asked as the closing credits came on, turning her body to face me, her eyes shining. “Did you love it?”

My eyes examine her face and as much as I want to please her and say it was great, I know a lie that big won’t be convincing. “Sorry, Chief.”

Her mouth forms into that unconscious pout and she gives a light roll of her eyes. “Well you just need to watch some more episodes.”

A laugh escapes me. “I agreed to watch one, Em. You’re not making me sit through another.”

“Whatever. You’re going to need my help again sometime soon and when you do, you know what you’ll have to do for me in return.”

I laugh again and shake my head. This girl never quits. Of course she wouldn’t be Emily if she did. “We’ll see.” My eyes move to Trace as he stands up. “Where are you going?”

“I’m still hungry,” he says as he walks towards the kitchen. “What do you guys have to eat?”

Lola springs up from the couch. “Wait, you can’t eat some of the stuff in the fridge,” she says, going after him. “It’s for my family dinner tomorrow.”

Now alone with Emily, I stretch out on the couch, wincing a bit as my back tenses up.

“Are you okay?”

I look over at Emily to find that she’s watching me. “I slept wrong last night and my back is killing me.”

She stares at me silently for a few seconds. “Move forward a bit.”

I do as she says before questioning. “Why?”

Instead of replying, she moves across the loveseat. My next words die in my throat as she slips in behind me, her knees pressed in between my back and her chest. I struggle to draw in a breath as her hands begin to massage my shoulders.

Damn, that feels amazing.

A massage would feel great coming from anyone but the massage combined with Emily’s body so close to mine, the comforting smell of her perfume meeting my nose, is almost too much to take. I can feel the tension leaving my body as her hands work across my upper back.

“That feels amazing,” I mumble, dropping my chin to my chest. “Why didn’t I know you give such great massages?”

“Guess you just never had the opportunity to experience one before,” she replies. She moves her legs out to the sides of my body so she can move her hands down my back. My eyes close and a small groan escapes me as she hands rub against a particularly tense part of my back.

I know in the back of my mind that I should get up. Having her this close to me, touching me, is doing nothing for this whole broken up thing. At this point all I want to do is forget about Lola and Trace in the next room and kiss every single part of her. I’m not at the point yet where I can be this close to her and not want to do anything.

My eyes snap open when I feel Emily rest her chin on my shoulder, her hands now only lightly massaging my lower back. “It looks really nice outside, huh?”

I force myself to focus on her words and look out the window. “Yeah,” I get out.

“Want to go out on the balcony?”

I jump at the chance to get out of our current position. It’s dangerous territory. “Sure.”

Stepping onto the balcony, I gulp in a few deep breaths of air, hoping it will help me clear my mind from the haze it was in while we were in the living room. I thought it was working until Emily comes out behind me, her shoulder bumping into my arm as she steps up beside me. Immediately, my mind is back to that place where I’m finding it hard to remember why I broke up with her in the first place. Trying to fight that off, I force myself to ask some boring questions.

“How’s work going?”

She doesn’t look at me but instead moves away from my side to the railing, leaning her elbows against it. “Fine. I might get to go to Florida for a photoshoot they’re doing there.”

“That’s cool.” I go to the railing as well but lean back against it and look into the apartment through the glass door. Trace and Lola are still nowhere in sight. “Is that a for sure thing?”

“No. I’ll find out next week if I’m going or the other make up girl.”

“It should be you. You’re awesome at what you do.”

She shrugs and doesn’t say anything. I figure she just wants silence and I’m content with that until I hear her sniff and glance over at her to see that she’s wiping the corner of her eye.

“Hey,” I say, reaching out my hand to touch her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Her head drops down and when she lifts it back up, a few tears have made their way down her cheeks. Concern immediately goes through me.

“What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head and says nothing. I turn to face her and pull on her arm, bringing her to a standing position.

“What’s going on, Em?”

She brings up her hand to wipe her cheeks. Her eyes flicker across mine but then look to the side and she pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth. I run my hands up and down her bare arms, waiting for some kind of response.

She pulls in a shaky breath and shakes her head again. “I just miss us together so much.”

My heart literally aches in my chest and I swallow hard. “Me too.”

A breath exits her loudly and she sniffs, her head dropping again. I know I shouldn’t, but I pull her into a hug. A shiver goes through me when she puts her arms around me, slipping them underneath my jacket. This is how she always used to hug me when we were dating. It’s like she can’t stand so many layers of clothing separating us.

I move so I’m back to leaning against the railing, with her leaning into my body, her head on my chest. She’s not crying anymore, but I know she just needs this.

It’s so much easier to break up with a person if you just cut them out of your life. You can get rid of everything that reminds you of them pretend they never existed. But Emily and I can’t do that. Neither of us can live without the other one and in my mind it was never even a question that we wouldn’t go back to being best friends. But with being friends again comes moments like this where I want to comfort her as a friend but it’s pulling in all these old emotions that are interfering with me keeping distance from a romantic relationship.

Sighing a bit, I look up through the door and can see Trace and Lola back in the living room. They’re talking but then Trace looks up and makes eye contact with me. When I see him shake his head slightly, I look away. I don’t need him telling me that hugging Emily like this isn’t a good thing. I know it for myself. But that’s not making me move away from her.

Emily is making no move to pull back and I could seriously stay here with her like this forever. It’s like a slap in the face when my cell phone begins to ring and I recognize the ringtone as one I customized to Ben. For a second panic goes through me that he knows exactly where I am and what I’m doing but that’s quickly replaced with me telling myself to not be so stupid.

As soon as I make a move to reach into my pocket, Emily pulls back and steps to the side. All I want is to pull her back to me but I can’t just ignore the call.

“Hello?” I ask, keeping my eyes on Emily’s profile as she looks out from the railing.

“Hey. You guys almost done?”

“Yeah. We’ll leave soon. Do you still want a ride?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll give you a call when I’m a couple minutes away.”

“Sounds good. Bye.”

I hang up the phone and stare at it for a second before looking back at her. “Ben,” I say and she nods and then turns to go back inside. Sighing, I follow behind her. She doesn’t seem exactly mad. Just more…defeated, I guess. Like she just got the wind taken out of her sails.

“Ben called,” I say when we step back into the living room. “We should go.”

Trace gets up. “Yep.” He nods to Lola and Emily who joins her on the couch. “I won’t lie and say tonight was enjoyable, ladies, but at least the food was decent.”

Lola rolls her eyes and tosses a couch pillow at him but it misses him and hits my shoulder instead. I don’t say anything, knowing I probably deserve a whole lot worse. Sometimes I feel like it would just make everyone feel better if Emily just punched me in the face a few times. Like physical pain could somehow cover the emotional pain. If only that could be true.