Mariah’s POV
I haven’t had a decent meal since forever. My family weren’t poor, they just weren’t really accessible. Of course I use the term “family” loosely. It’s going to OK though.
As long as I’m here that is. But how long could I stay? Josh has been so willing already to do this much. I knew it was risky and I haven’t asked him. I really can’t stand the thought of going back there. I was in such a peaceful state I didn’t want to think of anything else. Nothing but this, a nice placid memory.
I relaxed on the patio as Josh brought out something from the kitchen. I was wearing his boxers because my panties were kind of mangled and I was wearing one of his T-shirts. I felt at home being like this. It was a rush and thrill to be here now.
After I finished my cheeseburger and fries, I was digging like a heifer into the ice cream he brought out. I blushed and slowed down a little. I knew he probably thought I was acting like a vagabond but in actuality, I haven’t eaten anything in a couple weeks.
Everything looked good to me, I could literally eat anything he would give me. I closed my eyes as I took another spoon full of ice cream. I licked the spoon and rested for a moment.
The night skies were calm and sweet. Its been a long time since I glanced at the bright lights that beamed millions of miles away. Stars are a fascinating wonder. When I was little, I used to try and count up as many as I could see. Of course I would never get to an official number. There were too many.
I used to do this alone, it would smooth out the problems for only a little while. A great way to clear your mind. I let out a monstrous sigh and played with the melted ice cream.
“I used to do this all the time as a child. When you go outside and look at the rest of the world. Your problems don’t seem as big as you thought. Have you tried it?”
I looked over at him, placing my ice cream down, “No. I used to just count how many stars out there. It wasn’t easy but at least I wasn’t worrying anymore.”
“Whatever works, doesn’t really matter. Are you fine? Do you want more ice cream?”
I shook my head, looking at the half-eaten ice cream in the bowl, “No, its OK. I feel like a eat for the whole week. Thank you, though.”
“There’s still a lot left if you want more later. Did you want to stay the night?”
I was glad he brought it up first.
I played with the soupy ice cream, “I want to, if its OK.”
He laughed, I feel him skooch his chair closer to hug me, “Of course. First, I want to call your parents. I don’t want to sound like I’m kidnapping you.”
Oh, of all things I wish was legal.
“I guess if you have to. But I really don’t want to involve them. I’m over 18, I’m an adult.”
He kissed the back of my neck, “I don’t want them calling the police looking for you.”
I pulled away a little, “I wish there was a way they weren’t in my life. But I guess life isn’t that simple.”
“I have to tell them. Just so they don’t worry.”
I looked behind me, straight into his emerald gaze. “Alright, I just not coming back right away. I just don’t want to face them.”
He scratched the back of his head and placed his arms tighter around me. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just tell them you’re safe.”
“OK, just, could we just keep this a secret for now?”
I meant that. I didn’t want anyone to know about what happened. Besides, it was no one’s business. Still, just in case.
He pulled his arms away, kissed the tip of my head, and walked over to the phone. I watched as he moved, feeling at a slow ease. His hands, just 3 hours ago I knew their power. I shivered, thinking about what they did to me.
I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my chin on the top. I wasn’t sure what time it was but judging from the night, probably around 10pm. 3 days of wow. So many things to digest, so much has happened for the both of us. I may sound like a broken record but the last 10 days were a lot to process. The things I said, the things I did, I felt.
New things I couldn’t imagine my heart feeling ever since I was pulled back from my coma. From something, I still don’t know what it was. Like something supernatural maybe? Perhaps I won’t find out for a while.
He came back out to the balcony, leaning over my head, “Hey, they weren’t there but I left a message with Jake.”
The way he said his name made me wanna laugh out loud. “Why did you say it like that?”
“Say what?”
“Say Jake’s name that way. That was a little fruity.”
He took a seat on the other side of my with that confused little kid’s look. “I don’t know what that means. Fruity?”
“Jake is gay, do you know that?”
“No, he’s not…”
I rolled my eyes, he got me there, “OK, he’s not really, but we didn’t go together, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Doesn’t matter. But where do you think your parents are?”
I yawned, squeaking as I normally do, “Don’t know… that’s a little weird.”
“Weird? Are they always there usually?”
I took a long sip of my drink, “It depends. My dad is the one that works. I don’t even know what goes on with my mom. Probably screwing someone else to pass the time.”
He held up his hands, “Whoa, whole other issue there. Why do you say that, if you don’t mind my asking?”
I pushed the bowl away from me, clenching my teeth, “She’s just like that. She miserable when my dad works so she goes out a lot thinking I don't know anything about it. But I don't care what she does. I don't want to talk about her."
"OK, well, I left a message at least. Hopefully someone will get it."
I nodded, and stood up with my bowl in hand--
"Its OK, I got that."
I shook my head, insisting, "I don't mind Josh. I'm already up."
"OK, you don't have to load it in, just place it on the side."
I rolled my eyes playfully and turned to the kitchen.
I rinsed the bowl out and left it in the sink. I knocked over the towel rag accidentally and bent down to put it up. When I came back up I hit my head on the open draw I wasn't aware of. Was this open before I was here? Maybe the rags go in there. I shrugged and pulled the draw open a little more to fit the towel into the back.
What I saw, I wasn't quite sure what to say.
It was a tiny picture of Josh embracing and hold hands with someone else. A sister? Maybe. Their eyes looked identical and hair too. But something bothered me about the picture. Was I being crazy again?
I flipped it over, and it read in plain capital letters: BOBBIE '99. Who's Bobbie? Cousin? I went through sister, but they could just look a like a little bit.
Than it dawned upon me. No, she can't be? Could she?
But I wasn't going to ask Josh, Lord knows he thinks I'm crazy enough for someone to take. I put the picture back in its place and stuffed the towel back where I found it.
What was I going to do now? My heart started to pump like crazy. I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t sure if it was what I thought.
Bobbie? Its his sister, I’m reading too far into it. But the embrace, they weren’t touching like family do. Or at least from what I’ve seen of other families. Another weird thing. The way he was touching her, made me gulp with a lump in my throat. It was bitter to swallow.
What does he have a picture, why that picture? I concluded it was maybe his family but why did it irk me?
“Hey, what are you doing?”
I stuttered in my place. Between not knowing the words and wanting the ask the one question that chaffed me. I suddenly felt weak, like I might get a headache.
I rubbed my eyes, “Nothing. Just drying my hands.”
I dare not look back at the draw. I moved out of the kitchen, stepping closer to him. I tried to put on a neutral expression as best I can.
He cradled my face, pulling me closer to his lips, “What do you want to do for the rest of the day?”
I covered his hands. I didn’t want to seem rude but I wasn’t comfortable around him now. “Maybe I should go back now.”
I needed some space. If my parents weren’t there I could just be by myself for a while. Think some things through.
He seemed a little surprised, “You sure? Is something wrong?”
I took his hands off my face, holding them in my grip, “No, but I just want to be there in case they come back.”
I had to lie to get away from him. I didn’t know how to put it but at least, it looks like he’s buying it.
I just wish he would stop touching me so much. He nodded, kissing my forehead, “Alright, well, are you sure there’s nothing going on? I know you don’t have to tell me everything but I get this feeling something happened.”
Yeah, something happened.
“I told you, there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t want my parents freaking out when they come back, you know?”
“OK, I’ll give me a second and we’ll get going.”
I only wish I could just fly away from here as fast as I can. Flying? I mentally added that one onto my “if I could have powers” list. Silly, I know, but its my life so fuck off.
I ran my hands through my hair and put on my socks and shoes. I shook my head. Not believing yet piecing it together as if it all fit, “I should have known. Too perfect. Everything was too perfect to be real. I have to stop living in a fantasy world. I have to do this. I have to leave somehow.”
I couldn’t wait. I knew if I didn’t leave now I would have another breakdown. This one would not be tamed, I couldn’t breath. I wasn’t going to wait.
I can’t see him, I made that certain when I ran out of the apartment just in time to see my salvation. I had to.
Josh’s POV
I heard the door slam but I was too late. I didn’t see which way, it all happened in the blink of an eye.
I didn’t want this. I knew I shouldn’t have left her when I did. I had this feeling she was up to no good. Her skittish movements, her willingness to go home right away. But why?
She didn’t even wait until I could drive her, she just left. I loved her and she left. What could change her mind so quickly? What could drive a person to go mad with the snap of a finger? Maybe I’m asking the wrong questions.
I thought… I believed everything was fine. I would protect her like I said I would. I was so happy when she wanted to stay over.
I’m acting like I’m obsessed with her. I should go after her, I want to, but I think its not my place. But how can I stay away from her just like that?
I needed Jack. Something hard and fuzzy to fuck up my head. Not the best choice but I knew it was the only thing I could think of. Now, I thinking she’s going back there to see that guy, Jake. My hands clenched around the ice cold bottle.
How could she play me? Maybe it wasn’t her fault but still, the way she talks about him. The alcohol was buzzing in head and I felt light headed.
I sat in my recliner chair with Jack in my right hand. Jack was my only savior. He makes the time pass. Listen to me, I’m talking like he’s real. Probably because everything else has been a nightmare.
Meeting death. Escaping it. Scaring myself for life. My fingers brush on the sharp lines. I shiver at those moments. The darkness I was going through enlightened everything in me. Fluidly, seeping its claws into my system as if my body was following a ghost inside me.
Mariah, “God Damn it!”
I gave and smashed the Jack in the wall. Pieces were splattered in the corner. What could make her leave?
“Why is talking so much in my head? This is fucked up. I should just forget about it. Why am I so hung on this? I shouldn‘t be so... 2 days, just 2 days and that was it. Why do I want her so badly?”
The phone rang and made me even more enraged.
I picked it up despite myself, “Yeah, hello?”
“Honey, hi.” I softened a little, or tried my best to hide the shit in my mind.
“Hey, how’s dad doing?”
“Oh, he’s fine. We wanted to come by later to check on you. Especially since we know Mariah was with you. We got Jake’s message when we called her parents house.”
“Oh, alright. Well, she’s not here anymore.”
There was a pause, “Why, where is she?”
I scrunched my eyes together, a habit I picked up whenever I would lie, “I took her back. She, I don’t know. She wanted to be there when her parents would come.”
Hell if I know what’s happening to her now. My blood boiled high at the thought of someone hurting her. I love her and I can’t do anything about it.
“Oh, I see. Well, its probably best to let her be with her family. Her mother was telling me things that made my heart ache for her. Her father also tells me about the problems they’re going through. I just hope she’s taken care of now. Poor girl.”
I’ve done all I can do. But I know there was something missing. I had to know, the question was itching at me.
I massaged my neck and sat on the edge of the bed. “She’s fine. Weren’t you guys coming over now?”
“Oh, we’re pretty tired now. We both had a long day at the Peer. We were there with the Andersons. I don’t think I ever talked so much in my life but I was feeling better to let some things out. We can come over tomorrow morning maybe. I’ll give you a ring when we’re coming.”
She always says this but never actually calls and just comes over. On-going cycle, I’ve gotten used to it.
“OK mom, have a good night. Tell dad I said hi, sorry I missed him.”
“I will, I’m praying for you honey. Everyone is. We love you so much. Remember, if you ever need anything, call us and we’ll be over there. Maybe it gets lonely there.”
I sighed. And the cycle continues. “I’ll be OK mom. Have a good night. I love you.”
“I love you, Joshua. Goodnight baby.”
I clicked the phone and placed it down.
I needed to get out of here. I remembered what Bobbie said, was it too late? I took out my cell and dialed her digits.
Story Tags: jc
