Mariah’s POV
Josh was going kind of fast and we both knew it. I dared ask the question.
“Josh, what’s wrong?” I touched his shoulder and that only made him accelerate faster.
“Josh. Josh please, what’s going on?” I said, urgently.
He didn’t say anything and kept his eyes in front of him. Did someone see us? Oh no. I hoped it wasn’t my mom. All the scenarios popped up in my head and I was frantic now. My heart was speeding up as I was holding onto my bandages.
“Josh, stop the car. Please, stop the car now! Stop the god damn car!” I yelled at him but nothing worked.
What the fuck could it be? This silence was killing me. I watched his head bounce back and forth as if he were looking for stalkers. Seriously, I was getting worried now. I had to do something.
I unbuckled and pushed on his shoulder. I pushed again, and he looked at me finally, than looked back on the road as he turned the corner to his place. I was scared, I didn’t know what just happened.
He clicked open the garage quickly and drove inside a little slower now. I waited until the car came to a complete stop until I said something. I pulled my hair out and my face and stared him down.
“What the fuck is going on? Are you mad or something?”
He seemed to be as shocked as I was. He leaned back and placed his palm over his forehead as if checking is he was sick. He wouldn’t look at me. I just wanted to help him. Maybe there’s something I could do.
I gently took his hand from his face and brought it closer it me. At least it wasn’t like a super crazy freak out. I leaned toward him and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. I brushed the spot gingerly, trying to get his face on me.
“Josh, please. Come on?”
He scared me when he spoke, “I can’t get that look out of my eyes. He was looking at me in the strangest way.”
I shook my head, confused, “Who? What happened back there?”
He rubbed at his eyes with his fingers, and sucked in his bottom lip. “First it was your dad, than it was Jake. I don’t think you can go back there anymore.”
I already knew this, what was the big deal. I was an adult. “Josh, what are you talking about?”
Josh threw the question out of the way, “Don’t worry about it.” He finally turned around, “You’re safe with me now. I’m going to take care of you.”
I gave him a hug but I pulled him closer to me this time. I didn’t want him to worry so much. I winced at my arm, singeing back and fixing my bandage.
I looked at him with solemn eyes. “These things are barely holding on, do you have any gauze or something else?”
He looked between me and the cloth around my arm. “Let’s go.”
I nodded and followed him to the back door. When we entered I was hit my the heat. For some reason it was really hot. Maybe he left the heat on or had all the windows closed.
“Ooh, its hot here. Let me put on the air. I have no fans here so…”
He went to flip on the air and took off his jacket. I started removing my top shirt because it was bothering me, plus my wraps were not staying in place. I looked at them. It had a huge red spot that soaked through the bandage. I didn't want to drip anything on the carpet even though I think its been taken care of already. My cuts were still deep enough and it was hard to look at.
"Do you need some help? I can change them if you want?" He touched my face.
As he said this, I felt the cool air splash on my face as I followed behind him to the bathroom. I was wearing a purple tank and shivered a little bit as I stepped into the green-walled bathroom. I figure most bathrooms are cooler than other rooms. I wondered for a second why is that.
Josh took my arms and laid them down on the ice cold counters. My wounds were wide open, it wasn't the best feeling. It was like someone trying to rip open my skin only nothing is happening. I tried not to let it get to me as he took out doctor-like supplies from his medicine cabinet. As I watched him pull out the various tools, I began thinking again. I was wondering what my life was going to be like. Bits and pieces of the past fight its way through. Too much clutter piling up.
I tried to keep my arms as straight and still as I could. It got more painful when he dabbed my cuts with rubbing alcohol. I hated those days when people were putting that stuff on me. It was one of the worst feelings. I was trying to be strong. I wanted to scream out loud. The smell was invigorating. It was making me a little sleepy. But I knew I couldn't fall now. My back started hurting a lot. I had a lot of knots in certain areas. But I have to stay still.
"Just a little bit longer. I'm sorry if this is hurting you."
He couldn't do it on purpose, "You're almost done, right?"
He blew on my cut after he applied the cream before placing the gaze over it. "Yeah, I'm no doctor but my mother was a nurse so she taught me a few things, so... Its pretty basic when you have deep cuts like this. You're never supposed to submerge it into cold water or whatever you hear. Always wipe it with a cloth. It may sound weird but there's a lot of bacteria in the sink that could get into the cut."
"Sounds like a lot of information all at once. But its important." Talking was the only way to keep me awake from all the fumes.
He grabbed another wrap and began tightening the hold around the gaze until it ran out of slack. My hands and arms were in the same position as left them and I was getting an itch suddenly. I squirmed a little but I could mask it for the life of me. He caught me and instantly softened his features.
"OK, all done. What do you wanna do now? Do want anything to eat or drink?"
All I could think of at the moment was, "Some wine, please? Its been a while since I had any."
"OK, be right back." He got up, as did I.
I walked back to the living room and sat on the couch. I closed my eyes but I realized this was bad. I couldn't sleep now. Not when I know I might be chased and staked here. I was worried for his life more than mine. What if something happened? I had a feeling something was going happen soon before I could do anything. They know where he lives. It'll be like chaos if they come here.
But I'm an adult, I was taken here by my will. Its not fair though, I had a feeling that wasn't enough. Could I ask him to just move for the sake of not getting arrested? My parents were going to do anything to keep me with them. It was hopeless. I was so scared. But should ask him. Maybe I'm doing that thing where I think of negative things 10 times down the road.
I was brought back when he handed me the glass. I smiled and swirled the wine, airing it out a bit. I took a sip and relaxed as the slight burn seeped itself down my throat. Warming my insides, but I was too chilled to let it completely blanket me. A lot was riding on my life and I didn't know what to expect.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Try a million of them.
I shrugged, giving him my full attention from my spacey position. "There's so much to say, but I don't really know what goes first."
He placed his glass down after he took a sip, "Have you tried not thinking about what aggravates you so much? Or maybe just ignore the people who do this to you?"
"People?"
"Yeah, it has to be something who makes us crazy. But its OK to feel crazy. As long as you can take the bad in with the good."
"You say it like its so easy. Its one thing to get away with that, its another to force yourself to believe that and actually do it. I think that made more sense in my head." I giggled.
"Its OK, I think I got the gist of it."
I took a long sip and placed my glass down, "But you said people? How do you know that I wasn't born crazy? Cuz it could be just my fault all this is happening to me."
He shook his head, "No, I can just tell when people are naturally crazy from one's that just live in a crazy world. Its not hard to spot. You fall into the guilty by association category. Once you realize that, a huge weight is lifted and you sweat off the other things. But, we're not crazy-crazy. We'll leave that up to Courtney Love."
I throw my head back in a laugh. "Well that's in a different class all its own. I don't feel the need to break everything in sight... yet."
"You sure you don't want anything to eat?"
"I’m OK, Josh. I feeling a little out of it though. Maybe I should rest for a second." As soon as I said this, he moved closer and held me against his body.
"Your probably right. I'm pretty tired too. But do you wanna go over to the bed and rest. I could just carry you over."
"What am I a princess?”
"Of course you are. You're my princess."
I blushed, biting my bottom lip, "Well, if I'm your princess, you're my prince.”
"I feel like I'm in like one of those weird ass fairytales. Only they don't curse as much as we do."
I slapped his cheek, "That was so lame. Alright, take me away."
I gripped onto his shoulders as he lifted me from the couch and carried me over to the bed. I took off my shoes and slipped into the covers. I buried myself into the covers, soaking into the warmth. I love that feeling after a long ass day just forget about it and relax knowing you're a little safer... There's still a lot on my plate but I prefer not to delve at the moment.
It was funny watching Josh get undressed. It was like watching a boy lazily pull off clothes. I wanted to laugh but I figure he'd maybe take it the wrong way. Who knows? I argue too much in my head. When he was finally down to his boxers he gave me a quick smile before he went to brush his teeth.
I turned on my side, just wondering. How does my life start over just like that? How does anyone's life start over? Life can't just automatically get wiped clean and than you get another chance. I wanted to fully believe that. I have my doubts, most of my doubts concern Josh.
Whoever thought I could fall in love with someone like him? Why, I ask myself that a lot. Why do I feel this way about him? Maybe its because he brings out things in me I never thought I could show.
OK, now you're probably thinking its all cliché and I'm probably pulling this out of someone ass. I wish it were easier to admit that. But I did love him. I didn't know why. I probably won't ever know the reason. But this is how I feel. I used to think someone like me is forever destitute, like my match was too burnt out to start over. I don't know if one could get used to the solo surroundings, but my time in it came close. I thought I accepted it. My life was falling too fast for me to say anything. A bunch of nos and louder nos and doors slammed in my face will get you a life like that. If you want to know my secret. It isn't really hard. Even you can do it.
I sighed, really deep in thought as I asked myself, "How did I fall in his life this fast?"
Josh's POV
I thought I heard something I finished cleaning up the bathroom and dried my hands and face. Was she talking to me? I poked my head out and checked out what was going on.
I could stare what I was staring at all night if I had forever. Such a beauty, such a vision. Her face, just this delicate beauty if only people know the heartbreak, she wouldn't have permanent worry lines. I wished there was a way of erasing all the worry in life but it was harder than I thought. Maybe I wasn't doing enough. I racked my brain for anything and come up tired, empty, and dried out.
I never thought this much in my whole life and it was taking a toll now. Clearing your mind? OK, how does one do that again? What's the fucking secret?
I decided I would come back to that answer when I was good and desperate. I came closer to the angel before me knelt down. I titled my head a little and smiled. I pulled some hair out of her eyes as the light from lap danced upon her cheeked, shining all the more. The way her long lashes rested on her cheek made her look like a maiden in one of those period pictures. Than, I noticed something.
Had she been crying? I observed carefully. I didn't want to touch her just yet. Something pulled me out of my fixation. Fuck that phone! But it was too loud, I couldn't wake her with it. I decided to run quickly to the receiver. Its probably either mom, bobby, or well, I sure hope its not the third choice. I haven't even had a plan yet. I needed time.
Please, for fucking God, don't let it be number 3. I clicked on the phone at the third ring. Oh boy, talk!
"Hello?" I spoke softly, unsure.
There was breathing, and then--"Don't fuck around with us Josh, bring her home right now, or I'll be the threat for both of us.”
Oh no! My heart raced. She can't know. I had to think of something and fast!
"Not a chance, Jake. Do whatever you want. She's an adult, she doesn't need you or anyone else anymore. Get used to it."
I was being direct, than I heard the phone on the other side so extremely quiet, "Thanks for making this easy, bro."
That was when I heard the click that terrified me.
Story Tags: jc
